Cooking bad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

2h (8/3 9:48) 172040253 3 Replies >series finale >Gene is being sent to prison >led to his cell which shuts behind him >"Well, guess I fought the law.... and the law won." >begins singing and dancing "I fought the law" >the other prisoners join in from their cells and drum against the bars >the guards do coordinated baton twirls and high kicks ... >cuts to Howard and Lalo beneath the lab singing >cuts to Chuck in the burning house singing >cuts to Kim doing karaoke with Cliff and Schweikart >Gus and Mike doing a synchronized dance with dead serious faces >Camera cuts to Walt lying in lab nodding his head to the beat >Nacho being puppeteered Weekend at Bernies style by Amber and Papa Varga >Jesse cranks up the radio in the El Camino and starts shouting along >The cousins wheel Hector in front of the camera, and he gets out of the chair and starts breakdancing

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Aron gonna be good this time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ** 38 KB JPG : Anonymous >>65339998 # : Anonymous >>65340295 # : Anonymous 09/10/21 (Fri)22:57:14 No.65335239 >walk into class >your crush is tied up like this what do you do? 09/10/21 (Fri)22:58:09 No.65335246 09/10/21 (Fri)22:59:20 No.65335252 09/10/21 (Fri)22:59:25 No.65335254 >>65335264 # >>65339074 # 09/10/21(Fri)23:00:24 No.65335263 : Anonymous I'm back in school again? I do things right this time. I do all my homework, I study hard, I go to a cheap college, I get a good degree, I start a middle class career, I make my family proud.

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anon cared | /r/Greentext

File: 1666993356131266.png (163 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 07/21/23 (Fri)10:21:04 No.74102806 [Reply] >>74102820 >be me, 22 with autism >75s old grandpa got into a car accident and not the same anymore >dropout of college to taking care off him since he live alone and because I dont see any bright future if I keep stuying there >he died this morning due to old age >now I'm 28, still autistic, jobless How f----- am I? Did I made the right choice back then?

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Formerly Chuck's | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu)10:30:47 No.187784145 : Anonymous Sneed's Feed & Seed Formerly Chuck's IMG_20210919_120712068.jpg 113 KB JPG Rate the sneedhouse I made for my cats M M IMG_20210919_2008225353.jpg 377 KB JPG T 07/20/23(Thu)10:31:17 No.187784160

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Anon Watches "Sound Of Freedom". | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu)18:50:31 No.187799976 >be me >in theater >watching final scene of sound of freedom >born in the USA starts playing >jim caviezel winks >cut to black >suddenly a wave of euphoria rushes over me >I reach to pop the collar on my department of homeland security operational vest >I realize that I haven't bought one yet because I didn't know about it until watching this film which isn't over yet >stand and salute until the the very last frame of the credits before leaving the cinema, which is standard patriotic viewing procedure >head out to the snacks counter >qt and fat dude serving >start sweating >avoid qt and go up to fat dude >ask for a bucket of crabs legs so I can spell out into the word police and tape them to the back of my jacket >he shakes his head and shoots me the look that the kids at school used to give me >feel sick fury build deep from within my stomach >go out to parking lot >wait hours for his shift to be over, nearly pass out >he finally heads over to his car >it's a Chevy Impala >the most popular car in the state of California >no one will be looking at him >or so he thinks >wait until he gets in >leap onto roof >pull pants down >try to unleash epic seafood turd >forgot about the jumbo two liter coke consumed whilst watching the movie >start pissing uncontrollably >cargo shorts are completely drenched >he starts the car >tumble backwards off the roof >land on my neck >can't feel my body anymore >onlooker runs up to me >"What the f--- are you okay?" >look her in the eye >bowels release themselves loudly >stare intensely whilst smirking in a cool way >"I guess that truly was the sound of freedom"

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Anon goes to Burger King | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20230720_140613.png (195 KB, 451x383) Bravu Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu) 14:07:14 No.74097493 ► >be me, 23 yr old surf chad >just got done riding the most crazy tall waves in the state of maryland >feeling hungry, decide to catch some grub at burger king >walk in through the door, sunlight through the windows shining on my chiselled 12-pack >walk up to the front, think ill have a whopper again >i am then caught off guard as a sizzling hot, 9/10 qt 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679821 48086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271 20190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138 41469519415116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248912279381830119491298336733624406566430860 21394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224 95343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859502 44594553469083026425223082533446850352619311881710100031378387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554687311595628638823537875937 5195778185778053217122680661300192787661119590921642019893809525720106548586327886593615338182796823030195203530185296899577362259941389124972177528347913151557485724245415069 5950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259 0694912933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935112533824300355876402474964732639141992726042699227967823547816360093417216412199245863150302861829745557067498385054945 885869269956909272107975093029553211653449872027559602364806654991198818347977535663698074265425278625518184175746728909777727938

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Anon would've let his dad die | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >He deserved it 07/21/23(Fri)01:02:46 No.138400201 image-28.png 160 KB PNG

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Anon bets on himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 07/20/23(Thu)22:23:27 No.902964407 >turn 20 >bumbling lonely awkward doofus >decide to turn my life around >spend the next decade trying to be better >turn 30 today >spending the day alone in my apartment, not a single text or call >still a bumbling lonely awkward doofus >only one add-on in the decade >clinically diagnosed depression what are the odds I'll make it to 40? I want to put some money in depending on the odds

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Anon meets the Father of the Year | /r/Greentext

03/28/22(Mon)21:06:15 No.875251778 Anonymous >>875248608 (OP) # >Be me >Tiny twink/femboy >On Grindr trying to find kinky sex because mentally ill >Meet guy who wants to try ddlb >I'm 50/50 but I'll meet for coffee >He comes with his kid, very weird but ex wife comes after like 10 mins and whisks him away >Figure it's none of my business, people got their s--- >Guy seems cool, older than me but fit enough >Go back to his >He wants me to wear some cute PJ's he has, tags still on so I knew they were new, they fit okay, shorts a lil loose >Mostly do cute s---, he cuddles me and patronises me it's actually super comforting >Nearly falling asleep on him I'm so at ease >Beginning to get into this rp >Tells me he has adult diapers and asks if I would put one on >Begin to feel genuinely sorry for this guy. He doesn't seem interested in sex he just wants affection >Decide to roll with it, never done it before and I'm always game to try most stuff once >He makes me feel super at ease >It's pretty comfy >I'm curled up on his chest and we're watching s--- on YouTube on his phone >Actually considering dating this guy even though he's got some weird fetish >He starts to get a bit handsy >I get excited >Some passionate kissing >Then I guess all the red flags hit me like a f------ tank when out of nowhere he asks "can I call you [blank] it's my son's name" >Realise at the speed of light he's trying to surrogate f--- his 5yo son using me >I freak, throw my clothes on over what I'm wearing and yeet myself out the door, delete Grindr >Go home and shower and dump the stuff he gave me in the trash I will never trust another freak on Grindr again. Ruined any kind of ageplay for me now.

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anon is an imperialist nazi brainwashed by American propaganda | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: TeyU5+V3 ) | 07/20/23(Thu)17:28:32 No.435181043 >be [insert any Western power] >colonize lots of nations in the 17 and 1800s >give independence to all of them by the 1990s >be Russia >colonize lots of nations in the 17 and 1800s >refuse to recognize the independence of any of them >unironically criticize the "imperialism" of the West on a daily basis

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BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK | /r/Greentext

File: barkbark.jpg (9 KB, 275x183) BARK BARK 07/20/23(Thu)18:00:01 No.902950499 ► >>902950735 BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK >> BARK 07/20/23(Thu) 18:02:13 No.902950582 ► File: images (7).jpg (7 KB, 275x183) BARK 07/20/23(Thu)18:03:14 No.902950624 ► File: images BRAK.jpg (6 KB, 341x148) BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK >> BARK 07/20/23(Thu)18:05:02 No.902950702 ► File: png-clipart-dog-bite-grap(...).png (81 KB, 900x720) 210 BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK 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BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK >> Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu)18:05:48 No.902950735 ► File: 8bfd3c86dd3d8a8af2ebfba94(...).jpg (9 KB, 235x238) >>902950499 (OP) NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

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Anon becomes a history buff | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 382 KB JPG Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16

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Anons dad is homophobic | /r/Greentext

File: 1363302801416 gif-(172 KB, 300x165, 1323187660090.gif) Anonymous 03/14/13(Thu) 19:13 No.11884997 Replies: >>11885 I'm gay. My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic. Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense. >Fishing show on TV in the living room >Watching it with mom and dad >Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff >Me: "It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there" >Dad: "Time flies when you're a f-----." >Go to my room

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