Anon haven't received any mail from the HR yet so I guess he is good | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 58 KB JPEG 7/20/2023, 8:35:28 PM No.65101420 > Be me > 28 y/o touchless virgin > Have huge crush on 6/10 chubby qt 3.14 at workplace > I know even she is out of my league > Never even tried asking a female out so f--- it decide to ask her out > Find her alone in the pantry > Express my feelings in the most awkward way known to mankind > Can't even make eye contact so just stare at her feet the whole time > She is disgusted > Slaps me and runs out crying > So this is what a touch of a female feels like > I had to wait 20 mins for my throbbing boner to settle down > Respect for her increased many fold for having good taste in men > Should I keep asking her out?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon doesn't solve his problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon)21:27:37 No.73888769 img (2).png 322 KB PNG >have problem >procrastinate it and avoid dealing with it >but it still lingers in my mind constantly and annoys me and ruminate on it

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Anon does little trolling. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Mischief thread 484 KB JPG 07/18/23(Tue)08:36:00 No.74067921 >7 years ago >I'm 16 and in high school >Get some facebook notification on my phone >Telling me that someone logged into my account from some place in Nevada or some other state around there >Freak out, first thing that comes to mind is that my email has been hacked >Then it dawns on me >My phone number is not attached to my facebook(the facebook that I used was a throwaway one) >Someone's facebook is attached to my phone number >contemplate for hours on what to do until school is over >When school is over and I am about to leave the classroom, I log in this persons facebook >it's some black teenager >I post something on his wall with an lgbt flag pretending to be him saying that I am coming out as gay >Some who I presume are his friends respond >"We are going to find out who you are"

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mom came into my room in the middle of the night !! | /r/Greentext

111 KB JPG >mom came into my room in the middle of the night >I pretended to be asleep >she stroked my cheek and hair for a minute and then left Is she planning to kill me?

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Anon goes to burger king | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 45884330 (41 m) JPG 43.08 KB >Go to Burger King daily for lunch/dinner >QT 3.14 cashier begins to notice me >Greets me with a smile every time I come in and asks if I want the usual >Makes small talk with me while I wait for the food >I notice she has multiple Disney world pins on her uniform I feel like she really likes me guys. I have enough money saved for a vacation. Should i invite her to disney world with me? Anonymous No. 45884348 (40 m) If you were a true robot you would be going to a different restaurant as soon as the staff starts to recognize you. Get out now f-----.

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Anon wants a cock sock | /r/Greentext

Anonymous It's Wednesday. 6 KB JPG 5 Replies What should I do? I asked my mom to make me a sock for my wiener and she got upset. >>29398745 # 07/20/23(Thu)10:16:35 No.29398649 >>29398758 # >hot summer >I have to sleep buck naked with a fan >I wear socks to keep my feet comfortable, but there are no socks for your Weiner >I can feel it shrinking and getting cold to the touch Anonymous >>29398649 (OP) # >but there are no socks for your Weiner hey anon I heard theres this thing some people wear while sleeping called boxers, look into em mate Anonymous : Anonymous >>29398685 # Wouldn't that be inferior to a c--- sock? >>29398781 # View Thread 07/20/23(Thu)10:27:44 No.29398685 07/20/23(Thu)10:49:34 No.29398745 07/20/23(Thu)10:51:57 No.29398758 >>29398745 # you could also just get a regular sock to put on your junk if you insist on being a creepy weirdo

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Anon has fun | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 162 KB GIF caffeine is fun! 11/10/19(Sun)20:43:09 No.5528302 >drink one redbull >suddenly feel super energized >race around room giggling >listen to happy music and throw arms in the air >huweeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Anon likes his Uncrustables | /r/Greentext

05/14/18(Mon)13:14:04 No.10598617 Uncrustables are the only thing keeping me alive at this point. This isn't a f------ joke every day I wake up, go to the same s----- school full of s----- people who all think their better than one another, full of teachers who either don't want to be their either or hate you, spend time with people who don't like me and who I don't like, then go home, cry in the shower for an hour, then engage in a sorry attempt at studying, all for what? All for the f------ uncrustables, every day, twice a day, those absolute godsends of treats get me through my miserable f------ life, the sweetness of the jelly matched with the saltiness of the peanut butter, all on soft, round bread pockets. God isn't real, heaven isn't real, only uncrustables are real Anonymous 49 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon's Bizarre Adventure | /r/Greentext

File: image_2023-07-20_023647581.png (1.22 MB, 1440x1080) Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu)02:37:12 No.902916475 >Be me >17 >JapFag >Turn myself in cuz I'm a bruiser >Mom worried >call her a bitch >Grandpa flies all the way from America to come get my edgy ass out >Tell him I'm probably possessed >Some random Egyptian f-- shows up >It starts getting weirdly hot in my cell >A giant f------ Bird Man sprouts from the a------'s back >HowInTheFuck.jpeg >Get put in some weird fire tentacle s--- >Mom screaming >Grandpa chilling >Thanks you old f--- >Massive f------ burst of energy >Big buff ghost dude with long ass hair spawns >f------ tears the bars of my Cell to shreds after breaking the toilet to put out the fire >guards are confused >I'm confused >Grandpa tells me that the ghost a------ behind me is called "A Stand" >Living version of my fighting spirit or whatever the f--- >Go to whoop the egyptian a------ >Stops fighting me >Says "You already stepped out of your Cell, my job here is done" >w-- >Son of a Bitch made me get out all on my own Good f------ grief...can anybody else relate? Pic related is me and my Ghost thing and yes I know I look like an edgy f--

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Anon wants to get high | /r/Greentext

Weed Eggs >Don't like smoking, but wanna get high >Buy a nug off of my roommate for like $15 >Think I can make eggs like people do brownies, activate the THC with eggs >End up with watery, green eggs that taste like s--- >Choke them down >Don't get high

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Anon doesn't like Bloodborne | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 290 KB JPG 08/17/17(Thu)20:14:13 No.387435461 At what point did you realize Bloodborne was a masterpiece? : Anonymous 08/17/17(Thu)20:15:20 No.387435554 Just because it's a good game doesn't mean it's good f--- off already >>387435767 # >>387436942 # >>387438938 # >>387439965 # >>387441915 # >>387442719 # >>387443892 # >>387444218 # >>387445192 # >>387448757 # >>387451520 # >>387452684 # >>387455592 # >>387458664 # >>387458840 # >>387460210 # >>387460527 # >>387461123 # >>387465525 # >>387465754 # >>387466465 # >>387466721 # >>387467092 # >>387468004 # >>387470086 # >>387470161 # >>387470847 # >>387470958 # >>387471609 # >>387472496 # >>387472775 # >>387474393 # >>387476479 # >>387478253 # >>387478321 # >>387478492 # >>387479394 # >>387479698 # >>387479760 # >>387480759 # >>387482921 # >>387486965 # >>387487631 # >>387489241 # >>387491290 # >>387491771 # >>387491918 # >>387492007 #

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Anon fixes Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

File: geeejdagono8v73z6yej.jpg (65 KB, 1024x521) Anonymous 07/19/23 (Wed) 20:16:09 No. 187768412 >>187768456 >>187768532 >>187768644 >>187769285 >>187769348 >>187769954 >>187770505 >>187770975 >>187771049 'One BILLION points to Gryffindor!" Dumbledore bellowed across the dining hall. "Hahahaha yes you heard me right, one BILLION points!" The students were left speechless as their headmaster cackled maniacally. "And you know what, NEGATIVE one billion points to Slytherin! Yes, hahaha! Yes, that will do!" The jaws of the Slytherin table dropped in unison. They were struck in disbelief by what they just heard. "I'm the headmaster! Hahaha I can do anything! ANYTHING! Even this!" Gandalf raised raised his wand and pointed it at Slytherin table. "Sectumsempra!" Goyle fell to the floor, clutching at the wounds that had suddenly manifested across his bulbous belly. "Crucio!" Ganondorf cried out once more. "What's the matter, Draco? You look a little glum for someone that was supposed to win the House Cup today!" Draco's expression turned from shock to a frown, whether by means of the cruciatus curse or by own his destitution when faced with certain death remain unclear. "Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra!" Dumbledore wailed calmly. Slytherin students fell to the floor en masse. After near every last member of the House of Slytherin laid dead before his outstretched legs, Dumbledore approach the still conscious Draco. "Hell will always be given to those who ask for it, my dear Draco." Dumbledore removed a ritual dagger from his robes and plunged it deep within Draco's heart, ending the Malfoy line once and for all. The prodigal of Slytherin's blood seeped down into the goblet beneath him, which Dumbledore had saved just for this occasion. As the blood finished pouring and the poor boy could stay upright no more, the headmaster cast the child's corpse aside and drank heartily from the chalice. Through blood-soaked teeth, the legendary Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore called for the attention of the remaining Hogwarts houses one last time. "A toast!" He proclaimed. "A toast, to gamers!" The students raised their own mugs in approval. What a magical year at Hogwarts!

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Anon is learning French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07719/23(Wed)19:42:51 NO.74091234 pwj.png 592 KB PNG >NEET with endless free time >decide i'll try to learn a language for fun >pick french >do few hours a day of duolingo >start having nightmares about it >phrases replaying in my head constantly, all i see is french words and images of the phrases when i sleep >in a state of sleep and not being fully asleep and all i see is french repeating in my mind this is causing so much stress on my brain, how do i learn a language without this happening? every night the same thing

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