Anon thinks his mom is jealous | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Board /r9k/- ROBOT9001 : Anonymous 89 KB PNG Settings Mobile Home 07/18/23(Tue)07:59:54 No.74073200 >be me >like 10-13 yo >mom comes in my room one night when im fapping on the computer >shows disgust "dont do that" >leaves >some weeks later >in bath >she comes in >says shes gonna do something >starts complementing how big my peepee is >i tell her not to say that >she says i should be happy >fast forward >in bed >mom comes in completely naked >"ew mom get out!" >"but anon its natural" >yell that i dont wanna see that as i cover my eyes >she leaves angrily She was fat as s--- to the point where the p---- hangs. Im so f------ confused because of other s--- from her. Havent heard from her in 7 years. Last time i saw her she yelled at the neighbours. I f----- my sister. Was she jealous?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is a robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous depressed autist 32 KB JPG 07/18/23(Tue)13:37:42 No.74074668 >can't enjoy anything anymore >all my happy memories are of gaming >nothing is as comfy as gaming when I was a kid >sold all my gaming hardware, haven't played in years >see new Zelda, looks like s--- >read books and watch shows from when I was a kid in an attempt to rekindle any semblance of human emotion >nostalgia just makes me more depressed as I realize how s----- those things actually are >realize I'll never feel that way again >pick up extra shifts not because I need the money but because I am bored >try to be "productive" but still feel s----- >try to be escapist neckbeard but feel guilty for not being productive because my dad would always berate me for playing video games >try weed, it's awesome, then it just makes me more depressed >never derived any joy from being around others, no desire to have friends >used to get neurotically obsessed with girls, haven't had a crush in years >feel nostalgia for my first crush because I haven't felt that way since >basically just a retarded robot >nothing without something to obsess over >don't want to live or die

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Anon believes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 07/18/23(Tue)10:55:32 No.74073154 I BELIEVE in ME. I CAN do it. I WILL do it. I'm GONNA DO IT. I REFUSE to GIVE UP. KEEP GOING Believe in you anon who are struggling at this moment of his life! You have the courage and heart to do it! You only need that little spark on your soul to ignite it! BELIEVE IN YOU ANON I BELIEVE IN YOU TOO YOU CAN DO IT ANON

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I want anon to go to the doctor. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: t5FOpzvQ) Z 07/17/23 (Mon)13:13:18 No.434757171 I DON'T GIVE A F--- mm 1663982545302278.png 928 KB PNG >be me >never go to the doctor >probably gonna die of some easily curable affliction that only becomes a problem if you ignore it too long >whatever

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F around and find out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >2 hoodrat cousins f------ with a pistol >1 hoodrat gets shot by way of ND and drops dead >Other hoodrat bugs out, puts the gun to her own head and pulls the trigger >Body slumps against the door, keeping family from getting in right away >Cue screams and wails of horror and grief 06/28/23(Wed)12:28:58 No.58753738 >>58753810 # >>58754993 #

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despite all my rage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)18:19:25 No.74073961 mfw 1653853019167.png 232 KB PNG hello i think the femcel meme has gone far enough already i am filled with rather easily to call it anger at the fact my fairly attractive younger sister (not in a weird way you perverts) just said to the question asked by our parents "why are you still single" at our lunch and she has went onto a tanget saying not only is she a "femcel" she is also filled with "redpills" and "pinkpills" and the fact she needs to "looksmaxx" to even get popular because she is a "charismacel" and a total f------ failure judt to name a few of her ""points"

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Anon tells the harsh truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 07/18/23(Tue)13:04:44 No.32007934 Patrick Bateman is a character from a movie directed by a woman, adapted from a semi- autobiography written by a homosexual, and there is literally not a single masculine thing about him. He's comically obsessed with status and looks, constantly busy with hair care, skin care, clothes, shoes and useless fashion accessories, jealous of beyond belief of his friends, gossiping like a woman, mentally ill and insecure, he's not a self-reliant masculine handyman, he's not a warrior or a fatherly figure, he's a pampered urbanite, a crying f----- mess with no children. Even his murders are not calculated purposeful violence (masculine), he just ends up schizoing out because he has no self control. One of the most fembrained characters to ever exist, he's basically Carrie Bradshaw with a penis. And EVERYONE understood this when the movie got released 23 years ago. The fact that zoomers ended up seeing him as some kind of masculine sigma chad only highlights they're the weakest, most faggotized and sissified generation to date. : Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)13:06:20 No.32007950 >>32007934 (OP) # they haven't seen the movie.

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Anon Uses The Bathroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)11:13:16 No.74073910 >be me, on the toilet at home >time comes to wipe my bum >after finishing, what the f--- do I smell on my hand? 142 KB JPG >F------ CHEAP ARTIFICAL ASS LOTION HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL MY C--- MOM TO STOP GETTING LOTION SCENTED TOILET PAPER REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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N-no, th-this can't be... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 47 KB JPG : Anonymous >>187696488 # >>187696713 # >>187699978 # 260 KB PNG 07/18/23(Tue)16:04:02 No.187696453 >Sir, we questioned his school peers and alleged current co- workers. Nobody remembers him. The guy's a ghost. 07/18/23(Tue)16:20:06 No.187696713 >>187700416 # >>187696453 # >God damn it Johnson there must be something! >Search through all their instagrams, facebook, myspace if you have to. >I don't care who this guy is, nobody gets that far in life with a girlfriend >>187696741 # >>187699978 # : Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)18:54:33 No.187699978 >>187696453 # >>187696713 # >We have Sir! There's no Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, not even a Snapchat or Tiktok - the guys a ghost! >I saw a case like this once rookie, don't worry. We'll get him at work, what does his LinkedIn say? >Uh Sir... You're gonna want to see this... 07/18/23(Tue)19:11:46 No.187700416 : Anonymous >>187699978 # >it says here he was a janitor for a few years at a place called Four Chan >so he must have a little money saved up from that job >sir, you're not going to believe this...

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Anon buys a Christmas gift for his son | /r/Greentext

File: img.jpg (38 KB, 480x360) PickLeMAN GO Anonymous 07/17/16(Sun)16:29:29 No.8288691 >Christmas morning, it's still dark >A father steps into his home >He takes his snow covered coat off from his 6 mile walk home from the coal mine >it was a long 18 hour shift >A boy sits by the fire near the tree >'Ah, my son, pyotor' he thinks >The boy holds up his only gift by the fire >Vasily scans the boys face for excitement >It had cost him a months wages >He had seen pyotor staring longingly into the store front windows and knew just what to get him >This Christmas pyotor will be happy' he thinks >Things had been hard since Anna had passed >"Well...son, what do you think? Vasily holds his hat against his chest eagerly awaiting the smile that would Pierce the cold grip of winter in Vasilys heart >A lads joy on Christmas morning would be enough to fill his empty belly >Would bring some color back into his life >Pyotor looks up, tears streaming down his face >What the f--- is this papa?! >Vasily grips his hat tighter, his eyes staring in disbelief, dread closing in through the shoddy cracks of their wooden home >'its...it's pickleman, pyotor. The dolls you are always admiring. I know you love your puppets so- >Pyotor throws the doll at Vasily and thunder strikes as the hunk of plastic strikes his chest >You idiot! Can't you get anything right! It's POKEMON, this is why mama killed herself you fat failure, I wish it had been you who died instead! >Pyotor dashes off to his room >Vasily sinks to the floor, holding the broken pickleman in his rough weathered hands >Choking back tears as he tries to reattach the pickle to pickleman arm >his clumsy hands ruined through a life of hard labor only made things worse >pickleman falls to pieces in his hands >tears stream down his cheeks to the chorus of a crackling fire and a desolate winter wind wisping the snow drifts from the roofs of the village houses >Vasily curses God through his pathetic sobs >The fire reflects a warm glow off the disembodied plastic head of pickleman >The screen fades to black as picklemans lifeless eyes stare back at the audience

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Anon plays Euro Truck Simulator 2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 709 KB PNG 7/18/2023,4:37:01 PM > Be me, ETS2 player > Encounter a road event No.61831797 > "Ok I'm gonna be a bit late for the delivery" > Find a detour > When connecting back to the main route, find yet another road event that you can't squeeze through > Realize that you're almost asleep and that you're gonna be super late > "Why the f--- do I play this game anymore" > Route Advisor - Job Description - Cancel Delivery

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Anonymous has a fondness for vintage teddy bears. | /r/Greentext

>feels good >take a break O Anonymous 09/11/22(Sun)11:18:29 No.885436835 [Reply] ► >>885437413 >be me >two years ago or >wake up >see a big fat hairy daddy bear >instant boner something >browsing gay dating sites >has a hobby >ok that's enough i'm interested >lives on the other side of the country >ah s--- >be NEET (temporary due to corona) so have time to travel >go to him >arrive >see a big fat leather daddy bear >dude is 60, leather clothes, nice beard, big round belly, a bit dirty an unkempt, that "i have a blue collar job" aura >for reference i was a 24 yo f----- nerd doing some b------- university courses >go to his place >the apartment is a complete mess, not cleaned in years >go to a room with little sunlight >room has a sofa, and lots of machinery in it >dude sits next to me >chit chat >hug >his soft belly feels fantastic >takes off leather jacket >his shirt is wet from sweat >kiss and cuddle >dude starts licking me >not these soft kisses like most f------. dude spreads his saliva all over my face like a dog >dude takes off his shirt >the hairiest man ever seen >at this point we both very sweaty >80's hits radio in the background >look at his hands >full of that oil that mechanics use that nothing can clean >lick them >message a guy >looks okay Anonymous 09/11/22(Sun)11:18:43 No.885436840 >>885437413 >hungry >go to shop, make food, etc. >find it difficult to talk to the dude >be from a completely different world than him >very irritated due to lack of communication >think about going back home right now >decide take a nap first >dude goes to another room to do his stuff >calm down >start cuddling >start sucking his d--- >dude can't get the little guy up but nobody gives a f--- >hear the words "i love you" >finish and go to sleep >wake up in the morning >sex time again >get up and gtfo because post-nut clarity hits hard We didn't really hit off because the social gap is just too big, dude simply thinks in simpler categories and can't get his s--- together, but oh my god, that meeting is one of my most treasured memories, it's basically p--- coming true.

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Anon questions women's sexuality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)10:55:39 No.74073156 SpaceBabe Screenshot_20230718-104548-885.png 404 KB PNG Women be like: >Oh of course I'm not a lesbian anon I've only had sex with like 8 girls and made out with barely 20 of them, why would you think I was attracted to women? Like they all genuinely seem like this on some level, I'm not anti women or anything, but damn all "straight" girls seem to be closest bisexuals in denial like come on girls, if a dude kisses another guy once he's basically gay, I just want to hold women to the same standard

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