N-no, th-this can't be... | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 47 KB JPG : Anonymous >>187696488 # >>187696713 # >>187699978 # 260 KB PNG 07/18/23(Tue)16:04:02 No.187696453 >Sir, we questioned his school peers and alleged current co- workers. Nobody remembers him. The guy's a ghost. 07/18/23(Tue)16:20:06 No.187696713 >>187700416 # >>187696453 # >God damn it Johnson there must be something! >Search through all their instagrams, facebook, myspace if you have to. >I don't care who this guy is, nobody gets that far in life with a girlfriend >>187696741 # >>187699978 # : Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)18:54:33 No.187699978 >>187696453 # >>187696713 # >We have Sir! There's no Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, not even a Snapchat or Tiktok - the guys a ghost! >I saw a case like this once rookie, don't worry. We'll get him at work, what does his LinkedIn say? >Uh Sir... You're gonna want to see this... 07/18/23(Tue)19:11:46 No.187700416 : Anonymous >>187699978 # >it says here he was a janitor for a few years at a place called Four Chan >so he must have a little money saved up from that job >sir, you're not going to believe this...

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon buys a Christmas gift for his son | /r/Greentext

File: img.jpg (38 KB, 480x360) PickLeMAN GO Anonymous 07/17/16(Sun)16:29:29 No.8288691 >Christmas morning, it's still dark >A father steps into his home >He takes his snow covered coat off from his 6 mile walk home from the coal mine >it was a long 18 hour shift >A boy sits by the fire near the tree >'Ah, my son, pyotor' he thinks >The boy holds up his only gift by the fire >Vasily scans the boys face for excitement >It had cost him a months wages >He had seen pyotor staring longingly into the store front windows and knew just what to get him >This Christmas pyotor will be happy' he thinks >Things had been hard since Anna had passed >"Well...son, what do you think? Vasily holds his hat against his chest eagerly awaiting the smile that would Pierce the cold grip of winter in Vasilys heart >A lads joy on Christmas morning would be enough to fill his empty belly >Would bring some color back into his life >Pyotor looks up, tears streaming down his face >What the f--- is this papa?! >Vasily grips his hat tighter, his eyes staring in disbelief, dread closing in through the shoddy cracks of their wooden home >'its...it's pickleman, pyotor. The dolls you are always admiring. I know you love your puppets so- >Pyotor throws the doll at Vasily and thunder strikes as the hunk of plastic strikes his chest >You idiot! Can't you get anything right! It's POKEMON, this is why mama killed herself you fat failure, I wish it had been you who died instead! >Pyotor dashes off to his room >Vasily sinks to the floor, holding the broken pickleman in his rough weathered hands >Choking back tears as he tries to reattach the pickle to pickleman arm >his clumsy hands ruined through a life of hard labor only made things worse >pickleman falls to pieces in his hands >tears stream down his cheeks to the chorus of a crackling fire and a desolate winter wind wisping the snow drifts from the roofs of the village houses >Vasily curses God through his pathetic sobs >The fire reflects a warm glow off the disembodied plastic head of pickleman >The screen fades to black as picklemans lifeless eyes stare back at the audience

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Anon plays Euro Truck Simulator 2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 709 KB PNG 7/18/2023,4:37:01 PM > Be me, ETS2 player > Encounter a road event No.61831797 > "Ok I'm gonna be a bit late for the delivery" > Find a detour > When connecting back to the main route, find yet another road event that you can't squeeze through > Realize that you're almost asleep and that you're gonna be super late > "Why the f--- do I play this game anymore" > Route Advisor - Job Description - Cancel Delivery

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Anonymous has a fondness for vintage teddy bears. | /r/Greentext

>feels good >take a break O Anonymous 09/11/22(Sun)11:18:29 No.885436835 [Reply] ► >>885437413 >be me >two years ago or >wake up >see a big fat hairy daddy bear >instant boner something >browsing gay dating sites >has a hobby >ok that's enough i'm interested >lives on the other side of the country >ah s--- >be NEET (temporary due to corona) so have time to travel >go to him >arrive >see a big fat leather daddy bear >dude is 60, leather clothes, nice beard, big round belly, a bit dirty an unkempt, that "i have a blue collar job" aura >for reference i was a 24 yo f----- nerd doing some b------- university courses >go to his place >the apartment is a complete mess, not cleaned in years >go to a room with little sunlight >room has a sofa, and lots of machinery in it >dude sits next to me >chit chat >hug >his soft belly feels fantastic >takes off leather jacket >his shirt is wet from sweat >kiss and cuddle >dude starts licking me >not these soft kisses like most f------. dude spreads his saliva all over my face like a dog >dude takes off his shirt >the hairiest man ever seen >at this point we both very sweaty >80's hits radio in the background >look at his hands >full of that oil that mechanics use that nothing can clean >lick them >message a guy >looks okay Anonymous 09/11/22(Sun)11:18:43 No.885436840 >>885437413 >hungry >go to shop, make food, etc. >find it difficult to talk to the dude >be from a completely different world than him >very irritated due to lack of communication >think about going back home right now >decide take a nap first >dude goes to another room to do his stuff >calm down >start cuddling >start sucking his d--- >dude can't get the little guy up but nobody gives a f--- >hear the words "i love you" >finish and go to sleep >wake up in the morning >sex time again >get up and gtfo because post-nut clarity hits hard We didn't really hit off because the social gap is just too big, dude simply thinks in simpler categories and can't get his s--- together, but oh my god, that meeting is one of my most treasured memories, it's basically p--- coming true.

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Anon questions women's sexuality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/23(Tue)10:55:39 No.74073156 SpaceBabe Screenshot_20230718-104548-885.png 404 KB PNG Women be like: >Oh of course I'm not a lesbian anon I've only had sex with like 8 girls and made out with barely 20 of them, why would you think I was attracted to women? Like they all genuinely seem like this on some level, I'm not anti women or anything, but damn all "straight" girls seem to be closest bisexuals in denial like come on girls, if a dude kisses another guy once he's basically gay, I just want to hold women to the same standard

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Anon won't be joining the wedding | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: 1677293921698981.png (442 KB, 539x500) MEN'S 3000M STEEP CANADA GAY Indian Marriage Anonymous (ID: 4BQEJZMS) 07/18/23(Tue)00:43:06 No.434864158 >Friend moves to Leafland 5 years ago >Two years ago tells me he has met a woman who he likes >Last year tells me he has proposed to her and plans on getting married this year >My wife and I receive our wedding invitation >"Traditional Indian wedding" >Call friend immediately to ask what the deal is >"We are having a traditional Indian wedding, anon. You'll have to wear Indian male wedding attire" >Ask why he is not having a Catholic wedding, considering he was born and raised Catholic >"She wouldn't like that" >Tell him I'm not going and that he is a cuck for submitting to some third world culture instead of forcing her into a Christian ceremony This is the most cucked s--- I have heard in a long f------ time. Imagine submitting to your wife's backwards s--- instead of forcing your religion into her. He bent the knee. If any of you passport bros do this, you're giant

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Anon plays hard mode | /r/Greentext

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Anon's crisis | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20230716-225945.png 750 KB PNG >be me >Suicidal >Afraid I'll go to hell if I commit >Decide to keep living because of eternal fear overwhelming the earthly fear >Idea of heaven terrifies me too, eternity is too much to process Anyone else having a fine Tuesday morning?

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 04/11/18 (Wed)14:32:15 No.44609723 >be me >use mouthwash >mouthwash goes down pipe >mouthwash disolves and condenses >watercycle.png >rains down >is collected for water >used in girls shower >mfw i basicly licked up a girl see you later virgins View Thread

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Anon took the Tyler Durden memes too seriously | /r/Greentext

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Anon derails biology class | /r/Greentext

Anonymous [Report] Image search: [Google] 2017-02-25 10:50:18 Post No. 723560076 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class 24KB, 495x495px > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go > I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources

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femanon takes a guys vcard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 163 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue)12:14:18 No.892368837 >be 25f >want a pure cute boy to mess around with >find a virgin from my class I ended up dropping out of >he rejects me twice after I coyly ask if he wants to have sex >a year later ask him out to dinner and he agrees >I pressure him to drink and he gets drunk >we go on a walk and I take his virginity >It's cold and the grass was damp but he seemed to enjoy it Later I think about a scene I read from chainsaw man and try to reinact it with him >bite his fingers and tell him to memorize my bite >"That's kind of weird Anon but ok" 1 year later we're still dating. Am I autistic?

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How depressing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23(Mon)21:15:36 No.73888668 tomoki.jpg 222 KB JPG >tfw no dead n----- storage bf

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