Femanon(?) doesn't wear undies | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: tinkerchan Music is my life. 07/03/23 (Mon) 20:47:32 No.73888431 homelesspropagandawillnevercease.jpg 20 KB JPG >be me >hate wearing clothes bc theyre restrictive >worst offender is underwear >never wear panties unless i absolutely must >go to walmart w my aunt and uncle >wearing cargoes w no panties under like usual >realize im ovulating >uncontrollably start squirting c-- thru my pants >feel the sludge between my thighs while i walk >start pissing myself out of embarrassment >my uncle notices >next day >wake up pregnant What do i do

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon asks r9k their thoughts about his pokemon smash/pass list | /r/Greentext

1688396384958215.png Place Pokemon Gardevoir 109551 Lopunny 105281 Braixen 95077 Glaceon 93669 Zoroark 89772 Kirlia 89432 Meloetta 88792 Sylveon 87434 Vaporeon 84386 Delphox 84039 Tsareena 83748 Hatterene 82203 1 2 3 +56 4 (12 KB, 294x292) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao smashes passes 19157 22065 32922 34306 38814 39308 40270 41474 44193 44304 45500 47319 7 8 9 10 11 12 Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)10:59:07 No.74019692 [10] [Reply] ✓ >>74019780 Thoughts on Pokemon smash/pass? 0 Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)11:09:46 No.74019780 ✓ >>74019817 >>74019692 (OP) >vaporeon is ninth Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)11:11:31 No.74019795 ✓ >scolipede not in top 10 w-- bros Anonymous 07/14/23(Fri)11:13:44 No.74019817 ✓ >>74019780 >vaporeon bros... we lost...

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Anon try to pet a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB GIF 4 Replies / 1 Image 07/12/23(Wed)00:58:09 No.73988387 >be me >sees a cute cat >walk over to cat >reach out to pet the cat >tfw when the cat hisses at me and walks away im sorry kitty View Thread

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Anon does an IQ test........ | /r/Greentext

>friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw

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It's progressing, just backwards | /r/Greentext

- by byl la >high intelligence >either emotionless or highly empathetic >many hobbies/skills Fish are learning to walk, humans are evolving too. 63 KB JPG 1 her th Skysefyll Autism is the next step in evolution.

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anon anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 KB PNG 10/10/21(Sun)00:39:19 No.864729554 >be me >day ruined

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anon hires a maid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 127 KB JPG 01/06/19(Sun)17:04:45 No.789303055 >be me >fairly wealthy but not rich enough to be president >sitting in my house while my house cleaner Maria is dusting >decide I'm tired of not g----------- >get idea >sextortion.jpg >offer Maria enough money to buy some fake ass documents so she could stay in the country >but she gotta do the lickle on my pickle. >"si senior anon, I will do." >fuckingnoice.wav >so while I'm distracted trying to get my underutilized ding dong out of its denim prison she snuck up and cracked me in the back of the head >l black out, when I wake up my wallet is gone and the house is spotless >bitch robbed me >but she finished cleaning the house >well That's how Maria works

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Anon has the basic loser life | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >no friends >no job >living off savings >find friends >lose friends over semester 65 KB PNG >home for summer >still no job > have GF but she's depressed

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Anon found out what the baphomet is | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: KK3Z9n/E) 06/15/23(Thu)23:13:25 No.430821933 >>430815257 (OP) # Women are literally demons (all evidence points to this), humans (men) are 111 KB PNG supposed to reproduce asexually through mitosis but we have been corrupted by demonic forces and have lost this ability. The penis real purpose is to direct the stream of urine, we are not supposed to have sperm (also part of demonic corruption.) >>430822129 #

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Driven to happiness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/23(Wed)21:36:22 No.73920911 >be me IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO >have a younger brother 44 KB JPG >he and I have never gotten along >nothing severe, we just didn't have anything in common >we both moved out at age 18 and more or less fell out of contact >haven't seen him since our dad's funeral in 2020 >his 27th birthday is coming up >come up with a devious plan >reach out to his wife on Instagram >explain the situation and ask if there's anything he's mentioned that he really wants >she tells me he loves antique cars and model cars >get a custom made die cast model of the car our dad had when we were kids, a 1977 Mercury Cougar in sky blue >order it sent to his apartment under his wife's name >takes six weeks to arrive, I can barely wait >she sends me a video of him unwrapping and opening it >his face lights up, I can't be sure but it looked like he teared up a little Get pranked little bro. I know we don't talk but I love you.

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Anon doesn't learn from his mistakes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 3 KB JPEG 12/07/2023, 19:29:39 No.52157807 > be me > piss off a powerful wizard > banished to the desert > be me 10 years later > finally escape the desert > first thing i do as soon as i make it back to civilization is track down the wizard who sent me there > it's been so long he's probably forgotten all about me, there's no way he'll see this coming > easily break into his tower > dodge a few basic security spells > point my gun at him and tell him it's so f------ over > instantly banished to the desert again

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Anon gets it | /r/Greentext

Ass worship Anonymous 05/15/23(Mon)23:58:58 No.899342627 >Be me kinky guy >have been obsessed with ass since the start of high school >most relationships don't last long as they are never as kinky as I am >after a few years of trying finally meet her > she is 27 im 23 >I met her on a fetish community and she shared my love of worshipping ass >we go on a few dates and then we finally do it for the first time >she sits on my face nothing out of the ordinary >this becomes a regular occurrence and after maybe 3 months we move in together >this is were my current problem arises >i did not realize how kinky she is (she is hyper-sexual, i should have known) >everyday after work when we are together she wants to have her ass being worshipped by me. its not every second of every day but at least an hour or more a day are spent with me worshipping >whenever i say i don't want to she starts to ignore me until i do >recently she has gotten into the habit of playing games or watching movies while sitting on me, if im lucky its just my chest and not my face >as i said im a kinky guy but im not sure what to do anons any opinions would be great? i will make an update if there needs to be one

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Anon goes to the toilets | /r/Greentext

File: w414e.jpg (76 KB, 897x600) Anonymous 07/13/23(Thu)15:41:14 No.74013362 > be me in the 2000's > enter middle school, first days of class > gigantic fat kid named Terence in class > he's repeating the school year > have to go to the toilets > see Terence taking a leak, he's pissing everywhere except the urinal > floor, wall, plumbing, everything but designated area > ends his thing by building pressure and hits the ceiling with piss > i'm 12 and what is this > do my thing, leave > another day, I need to go to the toilets again > witness Big T filling a sink with water > he drops his pants, proceeds to defecate in the sink > pants back on, he leaves > huge turd inside the sink > turd stays there one week because cleaning ladies are grossed out > things go on, I sometimes go to the toilets just for the show > puberty hits Terence, he's taking the habit of masturbating in the toilets, always leaves door opened > see him do his thing one time, he c--- inside a condom and leaves it on the floor > remember discovering that day that semen color was not related to the skin color, 'cause big T is black > some day Terence got expeled > maybe because he got caught doing his crap, other rumors talk about assaulting a girl inside the girls bathroom > never got the truth Fond memories lads, I still have vivid memories of how going to the toilets back then was something of an adventure. No wonder I became a ferret later, but I miss Terence.

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