anon is a gentleman... | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous I still don't get it 96 KB JPG 07/10/23(Mon)05:31:25 No.29320953 >Be me(a long time ago), 15yo in sexed class >Teacher "Remember to always ask consent before doing something sexual with someone." >Me pass a note to a girl >"Can I put my finger in your vagina?" >She get very opset and tell the teacher >Everyone laugh at me >I get sent to detention How am I supposed to ask for consent if I get punished for asking consent?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon triest to make something worse than the Star Wars Sequels. | /r/Greentext

File: Star_Wars_Logo.svg.png (57 KB, 1200x724) STAR WARS Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)13:04:15 No.187320017 >>187320351 >>187320376 The year is 2035. You are tasked with creating a star wars trilogy that makes younger zoomers/gen A come out and sperg about how star wars is ruined and the sequel trilogy was better and had so much soul. What do you create? Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)13:15:45 No.187320376 ► >>187320017 (OP) >you have to create something that makes the ST look good by comparison An inside the toilet bowl perspective shot of KK's ass s------- out kimchi after coffee, in slow motion, spanning three films.

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Anon doing yard work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 03/09/20(Mon)14:16:50 No.57087832 >snow melted >first day of yard work >raking the leaves off the lawn >picking up felled branches >mowing the long grass off the front lawn from last year >repair stone wall >change outdoor flood lights >while mowing front lawn, notice qt slowing down to check me out while i work i love owning a home guys, best decision ever made 14 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon Knows Brazilian Jiu Jitsu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Don't f--- with us bjj chads(...) ELITE DRAT LOVE 07/08/23(Sat)14:56:04 No.71528106 mogged.png 734 KB PNG One leg lock and you will have a limp for the rest of your life. 07/08/23(Sat)15:09:00 No.71528231 : Anonymous >>71528106 (OP) # >heh... now that we are on the ground you are finished >wait no don't get up >AIIEEEE don't stomp and soccer kick my face in that's against the rules noooo gracie-sama help me https://youtu.be/1MRKI9LACJM [Open] >>71531425 # >>71532029 #

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anon is sad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 40 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)15:18:08 No.73962400 >tfw can't relate to women because I hate animals

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anon cures his procrastination | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)11:20:05 No.73959922 Better-Call-Saul-Jonathan-Banks.jpg 104 KB JPG >spend my whole life having issues with procrastination >ever since I was a kid, I could never just do basic s--- because I would procrastinate >watch breaking bad/bcs and see Mike >grow enamored with his various adventures >always like the way he took charge by just telling people what to do and how it's going to happen >try it on myself >if I feel lazy or demotivated, I just imagine in my head mike demanding I do what needs to be done >"so here's what you're gonna do, you're gonna get up, put that laundry in the washing machine and while that's washing, you're gonna do those dishes right there" >s--- like that >my life has significantly improved and I feel way more disciplined Thanks finger

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Anon is disgusting... cheese AND curry sauce?? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)18:32:44 No.902323004 >>902323605 >>902323905 >>902324527 >>902324590 >>902325214 >>902325814 >>902325996 >>902326345 >>902326528 >>902326734 >>902327207 >>902327437 >sweet onion >curry sauce >cheese >tandoori mayo >halahpeenose peppers >honey mustard >6 inches that goes deep inside you so easily >you'll be thinking, is it in yet? >but then you'll feel it rumbling >it'll explode inside you >new from subway, the titan sub only $2.50 Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)18:38:15 No.902323605 >>902323809 >>902324499 >>902324889 >>902325010 >>902325646 >>902326395 >>902326928 >>902327271 File: 1688927874195.jpg (179 KB, 1136x1510) 2 FOOTLONG SUBS $9.11 FLY ON IN FOR SUBTEMBER 11TH! YOU WILL "NEVER FORGET" THIS DEAL SUBWAY eat fresh. >>902323004 When their history with Jared and 9/11.. you know subway had that meeting at some point.

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/07/23 (Fri)11:29:40 No.902189676 >be taking a shower >wash ass with shower head >little spray of hot water shoots up my hole >feelsgoodman >do it some more >couple of wet farty bubbles squeak out >get hard >push shower head up my ass and spray boiling water on prostate >balls starting to twitch >suddenly I'm e---------- semen and diarrhea >boiling diarrhea shooting from my mouth and nose >bathroom flooded with septic half-digested food and semen >sister comes in, starts writhing on the floor massaging stinking semen mix into her vagina >don't you ever knock? >she starts giving birth to puppies >every puppy has my face

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Anon Steps Out | /r/Greentext

62 KB JPG >be sick of never doing anything or going anywhere >decide to go out one evening >take the bus to the town >start ealking torward a bar >see the bouncer standing at the door >get nervois and walk past it >walk around the block a couple of times to see if he's gone >around the third time he's not there >slowly walk inside >he's just oitside the door >pay him to take my jacket >go to the counter >buy a drink >go sit in a booth >there's almost no one else here >a couple of girls singing karaoke and one other guy cheering them on >sit there for about half an hour slowly drinking my drink >get out >go to another bar across the street >a lot more people there >it's small and crowded >it's loud >the air is really hot >there's a band playing >go to the counter and order a drink >just stand there drinking my drink >see next to me a table with judt one guy and empty chairs >after fifteen minutes finally gather the courage to walk up to the table, grab a chair and drag it to my previous position >sitting there for another fifteen minutes and finish my drink >go outside >no bussess at this time >walk 9 kilometers back home in pitch black darkness >decide to never go out again Who else a total waste of oxygen here?

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/09/23(Sun)12:52:43 No.73958686 [Reply] >>73958854 >>73959210 >>73959427 >be me >had a crush on the same girl since grade 9 >now both in college (same area) >i am still a virgin >gotten fit since high school but still obviously autistic >she is basically an ig model now >insane figure, perfect round t--- >we run into each other at a pub and catch up >both a little drunk and we go back to my place >we are fooling around and i finger her >literally just in my bed kissing her and playing with her clit and occasionally going inside her >unironically bored as f--- >she is writhing and arching her back What if we date as a joke >i am thinking about one piece >she finishes, i feel her clench around my fingers and she literally shakes

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Anon: Short and Sweet | /r/Greentext

229 KB PNG >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean

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Anons discuss effeminate men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)09:59:47 No.73958053 >>73959776 # >be me >be straight >too straight I can see the feminine in other men >accidentally f----- a femboy who do I blame now? : Anonymous >accidentally f----- a femboy Yeah you gay n----. Ain't no accident. 07/09/23 (Sun)10:01:24 No.73958057

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Anon experiences moral dilemma | /r/Greentext

File: B3A5EEE1-D62F-4709-92E2-9(...).jpg (161 KB, 903x1426) Is cheating on Mexicans bad? Anonymous (ID: clkDCJX5) 07/09/23(Sun)09:14: >be me >22 year old business owner in N. Carolina >live above a cafe >occasionally grab a coffee from downstairs >get to know the staff who work downstairs after a couple years of living here >talk frequently with all the baristas, they begin to like me quite a bit >the manager is a 27 year old white girl (german) who is married to a Mexican dude >she invites me to her friends wedding >realize she's inviting me INSTEAD of her husband, as her “+1” >ohfug.jpg >ask her employees why she invited me instead of her husband >they say she always talks s--- about him and doesn't want to be married to him >wedding is in 3 weeks >haven't accepted or declined to come What do I do n? I don't want to ruin a marriage but he's a f------ I'd consider it my duty as a white man but I'm only 1/2 white anyways.

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