anon didn't manage his expectations | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 89 264 KB PNG 07/04/23(Tue)13:11:46 No.73902863 >meet a new bitch >she only has two boobs >ensure a boring date until you can politely leave

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Long time swimmer, first time collar | /r/Greentext

I T-Mobile Board /lgbt/ - LGBT Anonymous 144 KB JPG 1:46 PM boards.4channel.org ✓ 31% ▼ Settings Mobile Home 07/04/23(Tue)12:35:50 No.31782520 I pranked my bottom again. Might've gone too far this time >bottom bf surprises me wearing a leather collar he custom-ordered >the dog tags have my name and his >"anon as long as I'm wearing this you can do ANYTHING you want to me! Don't hold back!" >quivering in anticipation of our usual dom/sub antics >...but he did say ANYTHING >drag him to the beach with me and make him go snorkeling with me to try to see fish and crabs and sea creatures >unsatisfied with the quantity and variety of fish seen at the beach, I drag him to the aquarium to look at more fish (even though it's far cooler to find them in the wild) >take him home and make him download classic Starcraft (not starcraft 2) and play against me >demand to have passionate, sickeningly sweet vanilla sex where we lavish each other in praise and affection and I am physically transmitting love into his body with every touch and every thrust and every moment of eye contact >the next morning I find the collar in the trash and he's so irritated he sulks for days Worth it. Next time he'll choose his words more carefully lol

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Anon makes a wish... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)18:24:08 No.187113591 Speak your three wishes. 07/04/23(Tue)18:27:31 No.187113703 : Anonymous >>187113591 (OP) # >I with for you, the djinn, to give a BJ to another djinns child checkmate demon, you're now known as the pedodjinn

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Anon's friend accidentally kills himself. | /r/Greentext

File: 1385260192525.png-(200 KB, 438x336, 1356057001793.png) Anonymous 11/23/13(Sat)21:29:52 UTC-5 No.517672052 Replies: >>517672226 >>517672274 >>517673125 >>517673550 >>517675017 So guys, my friend might have just killed himself by accident, in a really hilarious way no less. >be at my house >parents are out for weekend >have all my d------ friends over and smoke some weed and get drunk >little brother is a pal, doesn't tell on us >about an hour into our session, friend picks up a peculiar small brown cardboard cylinder that was lying around and prepares to smoke it >we were all pretty stoned but I was conflicted about what the thing was but I was pretty sure It wasn't a blunt >as he is about to light one end I suddenly realize with horror what it actually was >little brother does model rockets as a hobby which run on small fuel cylinders like the one he was about to smoke >before I can say anything he lights it >FFFFFFFFFFWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.jpg >cylinder ignites >thrust from flame pushes cylinder down friend's throat into stomach >hear loud "pop" as it blows up inside him >friend starts screaming with flames and smoke pouring from his mouth >we all panic and lose our s--- >lil' bother calls 911 despite our activities >ambulance arrives and picks up now convulsing friend >we all get co t summons because weed >still have yet to hear of friend's condition >worst day of my life >not sure whether looking back on this to laugh my ass off or cry hysterically TL;DR my friend tried to smoke a model rocket engine thinking it was a blunt

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retarded piratejack | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 476311042 X 38 65,0 kB PNG 27 REPLIES 2 hr. ago >download a $60 game 100 times >company loses $6000 46 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon has difficulties | /r/Greentext

the gym feeling worse > Be me > go to a new gym for the first time > Get overwhelmed by the amount of people there > realize I'm probably the smallest guy (probably just my imagination). > Get sad and depressed. > Wonder around to get used to the new environment, also to know where all the equipment is. > All the benches and machines are taken, so I have to awkwardly wait on the side. > Get even more sad because I feel like a creep > Decide to leave, but before I do, I decide to try out my membership bonus of free food from the vending machine. > Member card gets declined, leave the gym feeling even worse.. why am I so autistic?

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He threw it back and busted a nutt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)09:50:26 No.72824595 >day 4 of nofap >have very vivid sex dreams >wake up with raging erection >go to gym >leg day >do a calf press >feel weird sensation in my groin >think nothing of it >almost finish my set >on my fifth rep >sensation comes back >c-- bucketloads through my flaccid c--- >almost pass out it's so intense bros...what happened to me?

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Anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

group h t for (1 ¹]-group_ima-small block; 244) ( O Anonymous 07/03/23(Mon)13:27:52 No.73892650 ▶ >>73892665 >>73892706 >>73892779 >be me in middle school > 7th grade, bullied hard in my own class > seriously consider to become a hero > november arrives > bully #1 and #2 fool around in a tunnel, wild freight train appears > it's super effective > #1 is reduced to pieces, # 2 loses limbs > class shocked, bullying calms down a bit > restarts at the beginning of december > bully #3 gets hit by a truck during the first snowy day > spends months in hospital, never saw him again > cancer of #4 bully's mom wins > he goes to his father's in other state > no more bullies in class > life doesn't like emptiness, new social pyramid forms > two wild new bullys appears > february bully #5 gets expelled for fighting in the playground > shortly after, bully #6 just stops coming to class > next year comes, no bullying at all > year after, new d--- kid arrives in my class > kickly starts racketing me and others > get cornered outside school one day, punches me and attempts to steal from me > didn't notice police in the alley, I didn't either > expelled at the speed of light > no more bullying, ever I seem to have activated some kind of IRL protection cheat code, I really wish I could share it with Anon but I haven't the slightest clue about how I actived it

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It's all so tiring | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23(Mon)13:14:29 No.73885213 >wake up >still forced to exist //// 109306570_p5.jpg 103 KB JPG b站:超大萝卜糖 S.....

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Anon's gf does a bit of roleplay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)07:40:39 No.902013982 >>902014492 >>90201 >>902015335 >>902015628 >>902015680 >>902016307 >>902016874 >>902017219 >>90201 >>902018348 >>902018563 >>902019198 >>902019649 >>902019991 >>902020429 >>90202 >>902013967 >be me >making love to my girlfriend (real girl, i sold my doll) >she is eating the pillow >i'm dripping sweat on her back >i hear moans and mumbling >uhh stop uhh hurting me uhhh >why uhhh why hurt me uhhh im a good girl uhh >uhhhh stop please uhh pleaseee >me stop >d--- is diamonds but worried about r--- charges >grab her hair and pull her head out of the pillow >babe what did you say, are you ok? >oh sorry i didn't know you could hear me >i was roleplaying to help me get off >me ask what the roleplay was >she says it doesn't matter >announces she is tired >has shower >me w-- ok guys i need help what was she roleplaying? Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)07:45:47 No.902014492 >>902013982 She had to imagine what it was like to be r---- because she knew you too weak and beta to hold her down and do it properly. >>902014256 Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)07:41:44 No.902015335 >>902014180 >>90201 File: img_13.png (633 KB, 474x700) >>902013982 TFW you get cuck'd by your GF even though you are the only other person in the room

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2nd anon is terminally online | /r/Greentext

OFF Tas You virgins have no idea how amazing it is to come home from a hard (but rewarding) day at work, and collapse into the arms of your boyfriend/girlfriend. Just knowing that they love you (and you can have sex) is what gets you motivated for the next day, because this is what you'll be coming home to. Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)00:15:59 No.73891595 >>73891578 (OP). Where's Tyrone? Hiding in the closet?

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Anon talks about Andrew Tate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 167 KB JPG 07/04/23(Tue)00:36:42 No.73898587 >sex trafficking >cam girls business >shill on multiple internet platforms >scam university >work with mafia >convert to Abrahamic religion and start preaching to people how great the Jewish God is S---- too funny Anonymous >>73898587 (OP) # hating da j00z aint cool, dont do that 07/04/23(Tue)00:39:07 No.73898604

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Anons give expert medical advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 29 KB PNG 5 Replies / 1 Image >>73898169 # : Anonymous >>73898109 (OP) # So just stop listening to it? >73898169 # 07/04/23(Tue)11:45:36 No.73898109 My tinnitus is really bad right now. : Anonymous : Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)11:50:50 No.73898128 >>73898109 (OP) # Just cover your ears? 21 KB PNG View Thread 07/04/23(Tue)11:49:53 No.73898122 07/04/23(Tue)11:57:00 No.73898169 >>73898122 # I tried to by sleeping earlier, it worked, but I woke up. >>73898128 # It just gets louder T_T

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