Anon is old | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 247 KB PNG 06/08/23(Thu)12:40:27 No.34969357 >>34972735 # >>34968963 (OP) # >Be me >Need a brick job done >Visit the Free Masons. >Sweet! They'll do it for free! >Walk into the Temple. (What a weird name for a store) >33 years later >So you're saying I have to f--- my own a------ to become the leader of this lodge? >tfw brick job never got done.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Goblin anon | /r/Greentext

NO! HOT GOBLIN SEX! GOBLIN BREEDING! Is there a way for a goblin to find his true love? Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)17:14:37 No.73671446 ► >>73671494 >>73671553 >>73671710 >>73672597 >>73672963 >>73673363 >be me >5"6 >have long ears and sharp teeth >have pale green skin >have raspy, high pitched gremlin voice >Clumsy and goofy >have the manners and personality of gollum >just looks and acts like a f------ goblin in general >no one ever took me seriously,is just treated like a wacky background goblin in my entire life that occasionally throws one liners that make people chuckle >they aren't even hating on me, they just treated me like a f------ gremlin >My crush isn't even disliking me, she is pretty with having me around >except she called me 'boblin the goblin' everytime and rarely talk to me except to laugh at my silly antics and one liners I tried to act like an actual man looking for love in front of her, got a 'don't be silly goblin haha' >tfw I am f------ goblin zoned I have a personal life. I have my own interests.I am smart, I went to college, i have a f------ job.I have confidence. I am a normal human being. But just because I look and act like some woodland mythical creature, I am forever unable to find true love. Is this over for me?

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The jannycide has begun | /r/Greentext

1/3 VMaa95C2 (OP) 5h (6/14 2:09) 430598459 JPG 154KB (1080 x 944) 92 Replies jesperbj 12h BG 257 Re 57 Img IMG_20230614_090033.jpg _vectorcall 12h r/adviceanimals and r/tumblr have been forced public by Reddit Reply 4 36 How? . E Sparxx Interface 12h Reddit Admins removed the Moderator(s), replaced them with other Moderator(s), and reopened the sub(s). 8 REDDIT ADMINS ARE FORCIBLY REOPENING SUBS AND REPLACING THE MODS What are we going to do, redditbros?

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Woman? Yeah whatever makes you sleep at night bro. | /r/Greentext

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Anon had a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 02/21/22(Mon)05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat

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Carlton does not like his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 18 KB PNG 3 Replies 06/14/23(Wed)07:45:39 No.73672119 >one chance at life >parents named me f------ Carlton View Thread

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Cars are jewish, bikes are christian | /r/Greentext

EXXON M & McDonalds R: 5 Are car owners the biggest cucks??: >supports auto jews >Supports oil jews >Supports insurance jews >Supports loans jews >Has to pay taxes for using car >Has to pay for a licence like a good goy >Has to pay for mantaince jews

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Anon is a menace | /r/Greentext

Anonymous better feared than loved 157 KB JPG 06/14/23(Wed)15:06:46 No.73671870 >be me as teenager >get bullied in school >no friends and everyone thinks I am weird >get pushed around by the same kid every day while everyone laughs >eventually lose it and bite him in the face >bully is bleeding from face >everyone shocked >teachers call parents >detention for 2 months from school >not put into another school because live in s------- country and in little s------- town with only one major school >eventually return to school >everyone still thinks i am weird and doesnt want to be friends with me >BUT are too scared now to do anything >kids look to the ground when I am walking by >realize how good it feels >still hated but now feared >later start reading about Oskar Dirlewanger >start idolizing him for his personality and ability to put fear in his enemies hearts >realize that its better to be hated and feared than to be loved and disrespected Advice to my fellow robots. We cant be loved and never will be so the best we can do is to be as menacing as possible. Always remember that normies will abuse you the second you show humility so dont give them the chance to do so

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Anon talks some shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: fub06m10 06/13/23(Tue)23:11:56 No.430594968 >be reddit >"the last bastion of free speech" >fires Asian female CEO for attempting to not ban questionable subreddits in the name of "free Speech" >adds a feature called "reddit gold" where users basically donate money for the sole purpose of keeping ads off reddit (I'm not joking, this was the OG reasoning behind reddit gold) >puts ads on reddit anyway >adds tons of other s----- meme awards that can be paid for on top of reddit gold, like silver and wholesome and other s---. >Gets p----- mobile app devs make a mobile web browser specifically for reddit >tries to compete with third party reddit browsers, but app sucks since no effort put into it for like ten years. >gets mad no one users their mobile app because why would you? >F------ lock it down to third party apps >"twitter and facebook lock theirs down" twitter and facebook official mobile apps actually work, and are generally ad free

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Anon tries to explain the protest and how it wouldn’t work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Tue 13 Jun 2023 20:29:34 No.94056286 Report Quoted By: >>94056399 >>94056870 >>94057633 >subreddits go private in le heckin protest we did it reddit chungus style >two days pass and everyone's celebrating how heckin united they all are >moderators begin to get bored as they start feeling empty without people to ban and posts to delete >some subreddits begin to open back up as they already got bored of this protest s--- >the percentage of closed subreddits starts to decrease day by day, the number of subreddits closed becomes the minority as it starts to become clear that reddit won't change their policies >power moderators begin to reopen en masse out of fear of being forcefully replaced by the reddit admins and losing their cattle herd >spineless redditors bow their heads and accept another 'minor inconvenience and use the official app or whatever because god forbid they go a week without goysloppin' >the whole thing amounts to nothing, just like the Modern Warfare 2 protest, Occupy, Blizzard Hong Kong protest, the War Thunder protest, the Twitter protest, and any other protest organized by brain- rotted consoomers that forces them to stop sucking corporate c--- for more than one week None of these things have worked. The placation level is too high. They are addicts, drones, insect people. As I write this the percent of original subreddits that have closed that are still closed has just dropped below 90%. Currently 7939/8829 participating subreddits are still closed. Expect this number to drop even more within only a day. An army made of sand shall wash away in the tide

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Anon goes to a concert | /r/Greentext

375 KB PNG >be me around 4 years ago >At an Alkaline trio concert (pop punk band) >Show about to start, someone who's clearly not a band member comes on stage holding guitar >He plays the notes to "sweet child of mine" by guns and roses? >Just then he pulls out his pistol and shoots himself on stage, dropping dead immediately >Everyone in audience clapping and cheering as I start having a panic attack >Curtain closes and then reopens >Alkaline trio Band members on stage now, the piano intro to their song "time to waste" starts playing >Matt Skiba rips the head from the body still on stage >When the guitar section starts the headless body gets back up like it's being held up by an animatronic machine >It plays the guitar segment, absolutely ripping it, I can't tell if the arms are being moved by anything or if the body is an animatronic >Crowd still cheering and I'm trying to leave because I know this is real and something is going on >Matt Skiba sings the song as I try to get up to leave but can't move as if I'm in sleep paralysis >Wake up and my alarm is going off, the song is time to waste by alkaline trio >Walk to my kitchen, still shaking with anxiety and have an erection that won't go down what did my body mean by this?

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Anon Goes to Target | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Target Story Ashley Q 188 KB JPG 06/14/23(Wed)00:19:21 No.900906581 >be me >undiagnosed autistic >talk to a target employee named Ashley about wardrobe choices >Ashley asks for my number >every time I see Ashely announce "Hey it's ashley from the beauty department.mp4" >get my two sperg friends hooked on saying it >make an Ashley-wojack >hello Ashley

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anon finds the perfect gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)02:23:41 No.10474408 mileena.jpg Mileena is the perfect girlfriend. If you play the games you realize she is loyal and devoted to Shao Kahn, and just wants to be respected and appreciated. In her ending in MK11 we can see she would be a great mother >would protect you >would want to give birth to your kids >wouldn't cheat on you, because she would be devoted and loyal >would be a great mom >probably a freak in the bedroom >all this and you just need to tell her you love her >only downside is the face (can be solved by having her mask on during sex) and that she would eat her enemies for breakfast >still a prettier face than bong women's

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Know Your Meme

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