Carlton does not like his name | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 18 KB PNG 3 Replies 06/14/23(Wed)07:45:39 No.73672119 >one chance at life >parents named me f------ Carlton View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Cars are jewish, bikes are christian | /r/Greentext

EXXON M & McDonalds R: 5 Are car owners the biggest cucks??: >supports auto jews >Supports oil jews >Supports insurance jews >Supports loans jews >Has to pay taxes for using car >Has to pay for a licence like a good goy >Has to pay for mantaince jews

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Anon is a menace | /r/Greentext

Anonymous better feared than loved 157 KB JPG 06/14/23(Wed)15:06:46 No.73671870 >be me as teenager >get bullied in school >no friends and everyone thinks I am weird >get pushed around by the same kid every day while everyone laughs >eventually lose it and bite him in the face >bully is bleeding from face >everyone shocked >teachers call parents >detention for 2 months from school >not put into another school because live in s------- country and in little s------- town with only one major school >eventually return to school >everyone still thinks i am weird and doesnt want to be friends with me >BUT are too scared now to do anything >kids look to the ground when I am walking by >realize how good it feels >still hated but now feared >later start reading about Oskar Dirlewanger >start idolizing him for his personality and ability to put fear in his enemies hearts >realize that its better to be hated and feared than to be loved and disrespected Advice to my fellow robots. We cant be loved and never will be so the best we can do is to be as menacing as possible. Always remember that normies will abuse you the second you show humility so dont give them the chance to do so

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Anon talks some shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: fub06m10 06/13/23(Tue)23:11:56 No.430594968 >be reddit >"the last bastion of free speech" >fires Asian female CEO for attempting to not ban questionable subreddits in the name of "free Speech" >adds a feature called "reddit gold" where users basically donate money for the sole purpose of keeping ads off reddit (I'm not joking, this was the OG reasoning behind reddit gold) >puts ads on reddit anyway >adds tons of other s----- meme awards that can be paid for on top of reddit gold, like silver and wholesome and other s---. >Gets p----- mobile app devs make a mobile web browser specifically for reddit >tries to compete with third party reddit browsers, but app sucks since no effort put into it for like ten years. >gets mad no one users their mobile app because why would you? >F------ lock it down to third party apps >"twitter and facebook lock theirs down" twitter and facebook official mobile apps actually work, and are generally ad free

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Anon tries to explain the protest and how it wouldn’t work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Tue 13 Jun 2023 20:29:34 No.94056286 Report Quoted By: >>94056399 >>94056870 >>94057633 >subreddits go private in le heckin protest we did it reddit chungus style >two days pass and everyone's celebrating how heckin united they all are >moderators begin to get bored as they start feeling empty without people to ban and posts to delete >some subreddits begin to open back up as they already got bored of this protest s--- >the percentage of closed subreddits starts to decrease day by day, the number of subreddits closed becomes the minority as it starts to become clear that reddit won't change their policies >power moderators begin to reopen en masse out of fear of being forcefully replaced by the reddit admins and losing their cattle herd >spineless redditors bow their heads and accept another 'minor inconvenience and use the official app or whatever because god forbid they go a week without goysloppin' >the whole thing amounts to nothing, just like the Modern Warfare 2 protest, Occupy, Blizzard Hong Kong protest, the War Thunder protest, the Twitter protest, and any other protest organized by brain- rotted consoomers that forces them to stop sucking corporate c--- for more than one week None of these things have worked. The placation level is too high. They are addicts, drones, insect people. As I write this the percent of original subreddits that have closed that are still closed has just dropped below 90%. Currently 7939/8829 participating subreddits are still closed. Expect this number to drop even more within only a day. An army made of sand shall wash away in the tide

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Anon goes to a concert | /r/Greentext

375 KB PNG >be me around 4 years ago >At an Alkaline trio concert (pop punk band) >Show about to start, someone who's clearly not a band member comes on stage holding guitar >He plays the notes to "sweet child of mine" by guns and roses? >Just then he pulls out his pistol and shoots himself on stage, dropping dead immediately >Everyone in audience clapping and cheering as I start having a panic attack >Curtain closes and then reopens >Alkaline trio Band members on stage now, the piano intro to their song "time to waste" starts playing >Matt Skiba rips the head from the body still on stage >When the guitar section starts the headless body gets back up like it's being held up by an animatronic machine >It plays the guitar segment, absolutely ripping it, I can't tell if the arms are being moved by anything or if the body is an animatronic >Crowd still cheering and I'm trying to leave because I know this is real and something is going on >Matt Skiba sings the song as I try to get up to leave but can't move as if I'm in sleep paralysis >Wake up and my alarm is going off, the song is time to waste by alkaline trio >Walk to my kitchen, still shaking with anxiety and have an erection that won't go down what did my body mean by this?

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Anon Goes to Target | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Target Story Ashley Q 188 KB JPG 06/14/23(Wed)00:19:21 No.900906581 >be me >undiagnosed autistic >talk to a target employee named Ashley about wardrobe choices >Ashley asks for my number >every time I see Ashely announce "Hey it's ashley from the beauty department.mp4" >get my two sperg friends hooked on saying it >make an Ashley-wojack >hello Ashley

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anon finds the perfect gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/14/23(Wed)02:23:41 No.10474408 mileena.jpg Mileena is the perfect girlfriend. If you play the games you realize she is loyal and devoted to Shao Kahn, and just wants to be respected and appreciated. In her ending in MK11 we can see she would be a great mother >would protect you >would want to give birth to your kids >wouldn't cheat on you, because she would be devoted and loyal >would be a great mom >probably a freak in the bedroom >all this and you just need to tell her you love her >only downside is the face (can be solved by having her mask on during sex) and that she would eat her enemies for breakfast >still a prettier face than bong women's

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Anon is woke | /r/Greentext

R: 22/1: 2 >cast Asian woman >call her Native American How is this not racist?

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Anon gets a free starbucks drink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >go to park >sit on bench for hours because I don't have anyone to talk to >notice two beautiful women come up to me 21 KB JPG >they give me a starbucks drink because they saw me sitting alone for hours >they leave and I never see them again What did they mean this? 8 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 06/12/23 (Mon)06:21:06 No.73645098 114 KB JPG View Thread 06/12/23 (Mon)06:31:38 No.73645201 >>73645141 # It was the dragon drink, pic rel >>73645163 # It's not a larp. I was surprised when it happened. It seems that if you stay alone in one place long enough people start to notice you.

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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Wake up >Get paid to bang every sugar daddy's wives >Travel around the world, railing every 19 yr old supermodel I can get my hands on >Turn lesbians straight >Women willing to kill their hubbies just to spend a night with me Life is gud

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Anon doesn’t respect actors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/23(Sat)23:00:01 No.186204755 images (7).jpg 27 KB JPG 19 >AHHHHH THE WORLD IS GOING TO BE 0.1 DEGREE WARMER IN THE NEXT 50 YEARS AHHH WHY WON'T ANYONE DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT >*Climbs into one of his sixteen SUVs* >AHHH THE HECKIN' ENVIRONMENT IS BEING DESTROYED BY RICH CEOS AHHH >*boards private jet* >SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING, WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN??? WE HAVE TO SAVE THE EARTH!!! >*lands on the runway at his private island. Enters his sixth vacation home, all 17 rooms pre cooled to his exact specifications* >I'M GOING INSAAAAAANE >*heads to the beach to board his yacht*

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Anon does some trolling | /r/Greentext

Trollin' Time Anonymous 06/13/23(Tue) 10:13:31 No.73660641 [Reply] ► >Be me wake up, feel like trolling and witness chaos >Be me, have friend who is an actual 4chan moderator >Be me, have faggy brother who is a reddit moderator for some big shot subreddits >All 3 of us like rocket league so we schedule a match later at night >I let them introduce themselves while we queue up for Comp >In 30 minutes it becomes a shouting match between them. I can hear my brother from the first floor kitchen (I am in the attic like Anne Frank) Here are some quotes from their friendly altercation >"I can't smell the difference between your gameplay and cat piss" >"Stop huffing your screen. Your cat might've actually p----- on it" >"*Get's demoed* THESE F--- KEEP RAMMING ME" >"F--- have a tendency to ram people" >"You probably sit on your f------ hands all day and j------- to give you the feeling someone is giving you a h------" >"I think I saw your mother on the frontpage of kekma.net" There is a good chance my 4chan friend is watching this. If so. Hello Hasan. How was your night? Anonymous 06/13/23(Tue)10:34:37 No.73660813 ► I bet some redditfag will screenshot this for karma so your fagbro will probably see this too

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