Anon has a another dream | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Mire thread No amoking Toale Fumes 86 13.1 153 KB PNG >be me >sitting in living room, feeling dizzy >decide to go and get some water from the kitchen >gf intercepts me and tells me to go to the living room and jay on the sofa >l oblige >comfyonsofa.exe >she arrives with a glass bottle of water and some snacks >sits on my lap and hugs me >I chug some water >rest my head on the sofa >she comes closer and starts hugging me >I place my hand on her cheeks and she leans in for a kiss >wake up

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon meet his sister | /r/Greentext

"Family" stories -MON GOUS !! 159 KB JPG A- *** >match with girl on dating app >she watches anime & joe rogan >match made in heaven >lowkey skinny and plump where it needs to be >one small thing: she has no face pictures only body pictures >neither do I >nevermind that >set up for a date >I show up at the place >she shows up shortly after >I take a better look at her face and suspicion start to rise >tell her we should remove our masks so we can get to see our faces >we remove our masks simultaneosly >realization >its my sister >she blushes just like in chinese cartoons >mfw my first match was my little sister >awkwardatmosphere.mp3 >we both agree to never talk about this and go home After we got home we f----- like rabbits

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Anon on a good milkmail day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MULK 10 KB JPG 06/12/23(Mon) 09:40:48 No.73646238 >be me >work milkmail industries incorporate >the order is come from the cave >he tells me to investigate the river >Tao posseses my inner being in dasein >reflect upon the forest >the way towards the bottom is from without >activate protocol 56 trigger gravity >wake up under tre >he speaketh wit teh might of a thousand suns >i am the setting sun, soon to arise once more >the decay has begun >explode the forest >client located in underground system of railroad >he confesses from within his mask >"humanity is the harbinger of injustice in this mortal coil, repent for your sins and you shall be forgiven" >sorry i m deliver milkmail of samurai warriors 98 yen for collection >no pay >rip his throat out and make him pay with his blood >sever his limbs and sew them on the wrong side, the body wil reattach them >freeze the lower limbs using liquid nitrogen >k nook knoc >it is a breaking and shaking and waking >let the wisdom fill my soul >love my Job3, sorry Matt >thank you for order

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Anon forgets to take his medication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/11/23(Sun)23:10:06 1.09 MB PNG No.900792020 >be me, walking through the forest behind my house in PA >see a glowing light in the distance, approach it >there is a human body on the ground that looks like it's been through a meat grinder >next to it, there is a brain covered in some kind of wet excretion. It has wires attaching it to a pair of bloodshot eyes, a dismembered nose, and ears >there is a tube connecting a vat of iridescent glowing liquid to the brain >brain is still moving >RUN >p----- my pants w-- do I even do in this situation? I don't wanna go back, don't think anyone will believe me. No idea what this was or what I walked in on.

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Anon got emotional damaged | /r/Greentext

File: main-qimg-b7d20d8762d9937(...).jpg (27 KB, 602x581) >feelsgoodman >ask her out □ Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)22:28:12 No.73652599 >she rejects me >??? >?????? >be me >meet cute girl in a uni course >get along well so take few more classes together >winter is coming >now I can pull the best move in the book >after uni, say I could really go for some mulled wine (christmas market is 20 minutes away) >me too Anon! >"You could have told me that you changed courses" >laugh and play it down >still decide to take some random course together >starts flirting with me >trap.zip >well then lets go >enjoy a nice evening but afterwards she seems cold towards me >whatever, taking different course next semester >fast foreward 6 months >randomly spot her on campus >she is mega p----- >"Its your fault for not asking me out" (im not making this s--- up)

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anon isn't the cool guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)22:51:47 No.900815563 My anti social behavior actually won over the girl I lost my virginity to. She thought I was too cool to interact with people in my class when in reality i was a weirdo >Freshman Year High School >Homeroom >Teacher assigns seats >These will be your seats for the year no changing >Get sat next cute rocker/emo chick (2004 the afi tshirt s---) >Whole Year every guy in class hits on her >5'6" White Girl with C cups and nice ass and thighs. Very Fit >She rejects them all >Im the only one who doesn't "talk" to her >im not terrible looking >tall im 6'3" at 14 >The conversations we do have over class work is usually short and to the point >Spend year ignoring her attempts to talk to me after class >end of the year last day of school >she asks if i want to walk her home >I am confused but just say "yeah why not" >walk her to her house she invites me in >we get inside and she jumps me >making out groping dry humping >clothes come off >go to her room >VIRGINITY LOST! >spend the next few hours having sex >no condom just pull out >she gives me her number tells me to call her >proceed to sperg out and call her all the time and text her >she realizes i am not the cool guy >stops talking to me I saw her literally for the rest of high school even had her in a few more classes she never spoke to me again because I revealed myself

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Anon shows his hand before the play | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)12:34:54 No.900804999 >>900805289 >>900805612 >>900804760 >be me protesting >say that i will give up in 2 days >they wait for 2 days >i stop protesting >they win >oh s--- well now i know how it feels to be a heroin addict.. when are they going to open rehab for us redditors? Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)12:44:45 No.900805289 >>900805479 >>900805604 >>900806055 >>900806757 >>900807035 >>900807692 >>900807735 >>900804999 Rehab does exist in most countries and it's free, but remember the first rule of overcoming addiction related to denial of the addiction and trust in those who will help, so you need to start trusting and listen, now the first step is that all you need to do is find a bridge or a tall building and do a trust fall off the top of it. Yours sincerley, Dr D. Davidson, MD Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)12:55:21 No.900805612 >>900806830 >>900807557 >>900807599 >>900806150 >>900806373 >>900806776 >>900805114 Congratulations if you actually manage to not view the website for two days, most of them will still be sat there 24/7 but just using different subreddits, while talking about their normal subreddits. Use this opportunity to get out while you can.

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Anon has 754 feet videos | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)17:10:43 No.900815075 ► >>900815125 >>900815228 >>900815778 >>900815951 >>900816125 >>900816577 >>900817236 >>900817426 >>900818096 >>900818210 File: feet-754.webm (1.83 MB, 720x1280) >>900814154 >be straight >meet cute girl pic related >we never have sex >converts me to foot fetish >she has a secret to tell me >i'm trans >oh ok >me confused but we carry on >i love her >she died last year >heart broken i didn't like trans people before i met her, but now i respect them Anonymous 06/12/23 (Mon)17:11:46 No.900815125 >>900815997 >>900827364 >>900815075 How did she die, covid? Anonymous 06/12/23 (Mon)17:13:23 No.900815206 >>900815393 >>900815459 >>900815668 >>900816145 >>900816868 >>900816917 >>900817013 >>900817369 >>900818064 >>900818786 >>900819373 >>900819612 >>900819799 >>900820321 >>900821022 >>900821308 >>900821648 >>900821731 >>900822014 >>900822422 >>900822502 >>900823139 >>900823536 >>900823915 >>900824060 >>900824558 >>900825207 >>900815125 Testicular cancer Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)17:19:00 No.900818096 >>900818248 >>900818381 >>900819107 >>900819606 >>900820225 >>900820344 >>900820865 >>900821180 >>900821786 >>900821957 >>900822430 >>900815075 Did you smell her feet when identifying her body in the morgue and can you describe it for me?

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Anon gets a clever idea | /r/Greentext

134 KB PNG >Twink >Be in college >Hate alot of f------ and normies here >Idea.jpg >Get a buttplug cat tail >Get a straight pride poster >They arrive >Set plan into motion >Hang the straight pride poster >The heavy knock at the door that morning works better than my alarm >Entire room vibrating from the sheer autistic rage released on the door >Am in my high socks and hoodie >They took the bait >Grab the cat tail and open the door half way >About three people there >For the basedjak archetype he sure seems to have a heavy knock >The other two look like turbo normies with dyed hair >"Excuse me do you know how homophobic thi-" >Open the door to reveal the entire fit >Candy eye them playfully >"Trick or treaters? You guys are early" >They look dumbfounded at each other >Use this opportunity to toss the cat tail >Retards instincts were to catch it >Kek >Close the door >Hear a muffled conversation of disgust >Their entire focus is now on the tail >Soflty weep in glorious keks as they swiftly depart from my dorm Normies are easy to mess with

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Anon wants to be a fig wasp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)19:59:23 No.4538205 1. A pollen-laden female wasp enters the syconium of an unripe fig through an opening known as the ostiole. 8. The female wasp, carrying pollen, flies to another fig tree in search of a syconium in which to lay her eggs. She dies within the syconium soon afterward. 7. After collecting pollen from mature male flowers within the ripe fig, each mated female wasp escapes through a tunnel. 6. Without ever leaving the syconium, the wingless male wasps dig escape tunnels for their mates and then die. ostiole fig syconium (contains both male and female flowers) life-cycle-fig-wasp.jpg 270 KB JPG 4-22 >>4537891 (OP) # >wake up in a dark cavern >c-- in your sister >suffocate or starve inb4 "god I wish that were me" 2. The wasp lays eggs within some of the flowers in the syconium. In the process, the insect pollinates the other female flowers. 3. Flower ovaries that contain wasp larvae form enclosing gall-like structures. The pollinated flowers without larvae produce seeds for the fig plant. 5. Male flowers have matured by the time mated female wasps emerge from their galls. 4. As the fig matures, male wasps emerge first from the galls. They then travel the syconium in search of female wasps, fertilizing them while the females are still in their galls. Ⓒ Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. >>4538220 # >>4538226 # >>4538507 # >>4538511 #

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Women simply don't understand... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/21 (Sat)21:41:13 No.63265334 >Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history >Tell her I'm a virgin still at 28 55 KB JPG >"Oh, so you're asexual?" >"No, I'm not, I want to have sex I just haven't." >"What do you mean?" >"What do you mean what do I mean?" >"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?" >mfw I didn't know what to f------ say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is f------ useless. View Thread

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Anon struggles with geography | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Am I f------ retarded? download.jpeg.jpg 8 KB JPG 06/12/23(Mon)18:06:54 No.900814909 >Just started new job Manager has thick accent >I think he's Brazilian >His partner comes by >They start speaking another language to each other >Strange, normally I can make out a few words in Portuguese, I speak Spanish, I can't make out a lick of this s--- >Think nothing of it >Fast forward 2 weeks >Plastic thing with paper inside on door frame leading to the back of the store >Weird symbol that looks like a w on it >Google it >Called a "Mezuzah" >The symbol is a hebrew character >They're f------ Jews >MFW I thought they were just weird f------ Brazilians this whole damn time

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Anon has sex | /r/Greentext

>be 16 >hanging out with gf of same age >just simply ask to have sex >she thinks about it for a little bit >"sure" >she takes of her pants and underwear and just lays down on her stomach >i start to struggling to put it in her hole (didn't know it was so far back) >start f------ her >for no f------ reason i just start punching her face >no idea why i did that >she get's up and is like "why the f--- did you do that?" >uhhhhhhhhh >my grandma is no banging on my door and yelling for us to unlock it >quickly put on my pants with the condom still on my d--- >convinced her we are not having sex and goes away still to this day don't know why I punched her, possibly influenced of the intense amount of p--- I was watching at the time.

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