Xmas dinner doing it's thing | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: onymous de 7 KB JPG 3 Replies 12/26/18(Wed)16:52:57 No.50053486 >try to s--- >break toilet View Thread : Anonymous >>50053486 (OP) # you should s--- outside like the animal you are! fat f--- 12/26/18(Wed)17:00:43 No.50053588

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon asks the experts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 3 Replies 05/27/23(Sat)01:47:30 No.899935439 I want to f--- my cute brown neighbors 20 year old butthole but I'm 32 years old. How do I accomplish this without creeping her out because of the age gap? >>899935589 # View Thread : Anonymous >>899935439 (OP) # >Hmm I want to have sex with a woman? Who should I ask? >Of course, 4chan is famous for having lots of sexually experienced people! Just do everyone a favor and jump off a bridge 05/27/23(Sat)01:49:28 No.899935510

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Anons discuss their pooping habits | /r/Greentext

File: 1634049849025.jpg (587 KB, 1200x1200) O my very own pooping blog Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)08:19:01 No.122828 i did not poop today hopefully i will poop tomorrow Showing all replies. >> Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)13:03:04 No.122830 ok >> Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)20:41:34 No.122832 ► yes >> Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)00:08:42 No.122841 i pooped today >> Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)18:09:57 No.122846 ► just pooped >> Anonymous 05/09/23(Tue)22:31:10 No.122847 ► >>122849 i'm not op but i'm gonna have a poo right now >> Anonymous 05/10/23(Wed)02:58:29 No.122849 ► >>122851 >>122847 good work >> D Anonymous 05/10/23(Wed)04:14:45 No.122851 >>122849 thanks it was an alright poo

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Anon has some choice words for Home Depot | /r/Greentext

File: homedepotcartproblems.jpg (1.63 MB, 1528x1466) Home Depot Horror Stories Vol.1 Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:15 No.73487422 >Be me >Work at Home Depot as a Lot Associate >Grab carts and help customers. Not a hard job, but it can be frustrating. >About six months ago, management gets more shopping buggies. >Like, a LOT more. >The old, worn-out buggies are put in the corral in the middle of the lot. Managers tell me a scrap company will pick them up by next week. >Weeks pass, but scrap company doesn't come. Managers tell me they must've flaked, so the carts are moved to the corral over on the edge of the lot. >Unfortunately, we discover the new carts are very s-----. The metal bends out of shape easily, and they're a bitch to keep together and get undone. >They're so bad the customers end up preferring the old carts to the new ones. >Not a huge deal. It takes longer to get the job done, but customers like having more carts, so its manageable for me. >Then a couple months later, management decides to get more lumber carts. >(For those who don't know, lumber carts are the bigger ones that are designed for transporting heavier stuff like planks and concrete, s--- like that.) >In a moment of genius, management also gets more pallets of concrete and line them up underneath the canopy in front of the lumber department, the same time the new lumber carts come in. >It was under the canopy we usually store the lumber carts. >So now we have to store most of the new lumber carts in the corrals in the back of the lot. Now they're all full 24/7. >Even worse, customers are putting their buggies in these corrals, and there's no room. During busy hours, the buggies and carts overflow into the parking lot. (Pic related.) >Customers don't even use the extra lumber carts! >On most days now I'm so overwhelmed I can't even finish my job on time. >I complain to management about the situation, but they dismiss me every time. >Other Lot Associates keep quitting. Never enough people. >F--- this job.

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At least there was no flash. | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 : Anonymous Whats the most humiliating exp(...) 4 60 KB JPG ▼ Settings Mobile Home 05/24/23(Wed)01:07:11 No.73427720 >be me >loser working s----- retail job >work with a 6ft tall goth girl >shes beautiful and sweet >kind of have flirty convos with her >finally ask her on a date >immediately says she has a bf >die a little on the inside >a few weeks later he comes in to the store. Riding a Harley. Drops off food for her. >model tier good looks but has a scar over his eyebrow and a bit of his face >good shape, tattoos all over and long hair >notice the guy is SHORTER than her >he picks her up with one arm and kisses her >after he leaves all the dumb girls I work with swoon over him >goth girl tells everyone how he was a Marine and now in sales or something. He makes a bunch of money >one of the girls ask if hes good in bed >goth girl deflects but finally breaks down >I listen but pretend to not notice all the girls >says his d--- is huge >he doesnt disappoint >girls squeal >try to talk a little s--- on him >immediately she gets p----- and says hes better than you in every way and to not talk about her boyfriend >says he would kick my ass >feel like s--- and totally emasculated >he comes in another day to bring her a coffee >driving a Ford Raptor >the only reason I knew it was a raptor was because of the graphics on the side of the truck >he stays a little and chats with my goth oneitis >decide to go up and introduce my self to him >honestly really nice and charming >hate him for it 05/24/23(Wed)01:13:12 No.73427773 : Anonymous >>73427720 (OP) # >decide to get some creep shots of her to at least get some pics to j------- too >snap a pic but I left my sound on >camera shutter click resonates through the quiet store >she ask what that was >wont say and deny >all the girls at the store tell me how creepy I am >they tell me I am an ugly weirdo and probably a virgin >my oneitis GF is screaming at me >she reports me and I get fired >find her a few years later and stalk her insta >her and that guy now have two kids >feel utterly cucked >moved back in with parents I want to die lads

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Anon picked the shortest straw in life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)05:56:57 No.73487887 44 KB JPG > Be me > Tuesday > At train station waiting for my train to come > Another train that's passing through stops on the same platform > See hot Latina conductor get out > Pretty face, probably 5'4, nice fat ass shoved into to tight work pants, nice hair done up under her cap, but could still see it > She got on the train and it left after a minute or two > I will never see her again It's just not fair bros

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Anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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Anon has a hard pee pee | /r/Greentext

>>26797234 # Idk, I wasn't really aware enough to think it was wrong so I didn't clear the browser history. Who knows, I don't think anything happ- holy f--- I just remembered a memory I repressed. 18 KB JPG >be me, even younger >get curious about the file system in Windows >click on every folder I can find >find one with a bunch of pics in it >it's all p---, I remember one being some black chick giving a t-- job >my dad walks in >picture still on the screen I turn to him >"my pee pee feels hard" I say >He chuckles and carries the laundry he is holding into the other room. >mfw I slept in my bugs life bed sheets blissfully unaware for what I saw.

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Anon gets a orange | /r/Greentext

Anonymous HAPPY MEME-ORIOLE DAY 27 KB JPG 05/29/23 (Mon)07:02:14 No.73488386 >be 10th birthday >getting good gifts since I'm a big kid now >grandpas turn to give me gift >he gives me a f------ orange >look around like w-- >say "is that it?" >everyone groans and I go to the next person >afterwards mom tells me an orange was the best gift during the depression >whatever.mp3 >later on playing with my new toys in the yard >everyone goes to side of house to look at something >they leave grandpa in his wheelchair out front >I get the orange and throw it into the street and it rolls down the hill >he starts to cry a bit >family comes back >tells me to play with grandpa, he's looking bored >show him some pokemon cards and tell him the best things come from japan >he seethes and calls me bad names >lol as he gets wheeled inside >he really tried to save america and get a purple heart in okinawa just to gift his grandson an orange

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Anon goes on a feel trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/29/23 (Mon)06:03:06 No.73487935 >biked by my childhood home today >was sold 13 years ago to a chinese investor couple >turned into airbnb >old neighbor told me it's been abandoned for a over year >whole property used to look beautiful >parents took so much pride in our home >now completely overrun and falling apart >treated with such little care that even the back door was left unlocked >said f--- it and go inside >it's all been been completely destroyed >water leaks in ceiling, debris all over the floor, holes in every wall >all our old furniture is still there from the day we moved out >our family dinner table >dads old workshop in the basement >my childhood bedroom >thousands of memories everywhere I looked >yet it was all so unrecognizable 31 KB PNG

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Anon seeks a free therapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous what did he mean by this? She was asauited or ayythitsg just for the laternen 59 KB JPG 05/29/23(Mon)01:28:04 No.7348556 >go to free euro gov therapist >tell him i am diagnosed autistic and have issues with going related to it outside/work/school/socializing and that i am sad because i am constantly forced to do em >he responds that he is not educated at autism that much but that i am probs just depressed and anxious and prescribes me ssris and xanax i als asked if i could ask about disability and he was iffy on it but i get that since we europoor

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Anon gets played | /r/Greentext

Frederick A Allen Bless Ya Food Before You Eat- #Amen 134 KB JPG >be me (18f) >meet tall skinny emo boy on tinder (22m) >exchange snapchats >we talk and plan to meet >he picks me up at 1030 pm that night >we go to the park and talk in his car for an hour and a half >we realize we unknowingly met before at a house show 2 weeks prior >he decided to call it a night and drops me off to stay w my friend >she tells me send thirst trap >i do it >4 hours later of snapping he asks to pick me up at 430 am >i do it >we go to empty parking lot and we talk for a bit >he asks if i have ever gave head >i say no because i have not >he says he will teach me >after all is done he spends an hour showing me his soundcloud music >we go to the park by my house where we originally were the night before >we talk more about people we mutually know >i say its time for me to go home before my dad gets back >he asks for a "favor" >its 7 in the morning broad daylight and people around >i dont like saying no because i dont like hurting feelings >i do it >he takes me home >im retarded and say "PLEASE DONT GHOST ME" >he fist bumps me and drives off >walk of shame to my room >i text him when i get to my room >no reply >i stalk his snapmap and hes active but no reply >i got home at 745 am and it is now almost 10pm >i found his other social medias and the address he is currently at and i have been scream crying because i know i got played hard

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Anon attracts creeps | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 05/29/23 (Mon)05:52:57 No.73487851 174 KB PNG >be me >girl who is not obese >into fgc (mostly street fighter) >go to anime convention >notices guy in crowd, super muscular in vega cosplay >asks for a picture >sees a Q cosplay in the crowd >we all chat over street fighter >happy >vega goes in for a hug >too scared to say no >he's covered in coconut oil >calls me a cute girl multiple times >goes in for another hug, this time saying to the other guy that i smell nice >walks away quickly are all gamefags like this or do i only attract creeps and losers

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