Anon experiences disappointement | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous i screwed up so bad 6 KB PNG 05/28/23(Sun)00:18:32 No.73472590 >go to coffee shop near my house for the first time >qt3.14 working the register smiles at me after i order >fall in love >been going there at least 3x a week since then >always order the same thing so i make an impression >been doing this for at least 6 months >today i went in and said "yeah i'll just have my usual" >she says "i'm sorry sir, i don't know what you mean. what would you like?" >stammer for 20 seconds, turn and walk out i can never go back.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is oppressed depressed | /r/Greentext

05/26/23(Fri)00:24:48 No.182368926 ► >>182369003 >>182369022 >>182369031 >>182369050 >>182369056 >>182369187 Anonymous >Dude, I'm so heckin depressed and suicidal in my first world country where I live in first world cities and can access first world privileges and make first world wages working under first world working hours half brahmin half dalit & 05/26/23(Fri)00:25:28 No.182368937 i dont say this or do this but look like this Anonymous I look like that and say that 05/26/23 (Fri)00:26:01 0.18 saar... 946 Anonymous 05/26/23 (Fri)00:26:04 No.182368950 ► Anonymous 05/26/23(Fri)00:30:08 No.182369003 >>182368926 (OP) # i say that but i don't look like that

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anon needs a cute and funny computer | /r/Greentext

Cunnynon i need a new cunnyputer 05/27/23(Sat)15:49:23 No.899964031 ~~Cunnynon >be me >c---- cunnysoiur >pc dies on me need new cunnyputer what specs should i look for in my new cunnyputer 44 KB JPG i need enough storage to store thousands of anime screenshots of lolis eating lolipops and making cute faces and games, like nekopara thanks in advance

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Anon despises Gollum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Let's make a Gollum game 23 KB JPG 05/27/23(Sat)01:31:05 No.638467329 >Be Daedalic >Become the opportunity to create a Lotr game >Lotr: rich in characters & lore >Choose the most repulsive and treacherous m----- creature to play as the MC >Gollum_Vydia_Trailer.mov >Gameplay consists of: Press A to climb rock >cancer_graphics.jpg >Trailer gets dislike bombed on YT >Daedalic: I_sleep.exe >Game releases >Goes down badly even with the venal press >Emergency meeting at Daedalic >"Must be due to the bugs, we apologize, lol" Since when did video game publishers become so alienated to greenlight this kind of s---?

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Anon has a bad dream (link to audio clip in comments) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sun 10 Jul 2022 00:41:13 No.32330317 Report Quoted By: >>32330639 >>32333853 >>32334202 >>32320927 >Have this dream >In a factory >Typical wacky dream s--- going on >Go through the backdoor of the factory >Walk out into a sort of Disney cartoon >A bit like on Who Framed Roger Rabbit when Valiant is in Toontown >Don't like it >Has this weird sort of opera/choir kind of music in the background >But it's really foreboding and eerie >Whole place feels foreboding and eerie >Start panicking >See phone booth >Use phone booth >Call myself to come rescue myself >Wake up sweating >Time to get up anyway >Go downstairs >See I have message on answering machine >Play message >It's the same music from the dream and someone talking but you can't make out what's being said >Message was received just before I woke up >Maybe I called my house phone with my mobile while I was sleeping like some kind of muscle memory thing >Although that wouldn't explain the background music >Remember my mobile was downstairs charging the whole night anyway Link related, it's the voicemail. https://voca.ro/13QtZg1ZrqaD tl;dr I called myself from a dream I think

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Anon resonated with Aragorn | /r/Greentext

e: 1684511656172058.jpg (2.42 MB, 1978x2936) HA THE MODE OF THE S Anonymous (ID: PhKQzctz 05/27/23(Sat)23:17:36 No.428514557 >>428514593 >>428 >>428516460 >>428516779 >>428516908 >>428517032 >>428517164 >>428517281 >>428518110 >>428518409 >> >>428521906 >>428522539 >>428523975 >>428525174 >>428525717 >>428525791 >>428526156 >>428526292 >> >>428533210 I don't think this movie resonate with non-Europeans like it does with us. 05/27/23(Sat)23:18:12 No.428514593 Anonymous (ID: NONKJCSY >>428523905 >>428526349 >>428528454 >>428514557 (OP) im black and i resonated with aragorn Anonymous (ID: zdUP6U2B 05/27/23(Sat)23:19:08 No.428514655 >>428514557 (OP) Obviously not. The meaning of the movie is deep rooted in Western esoterism. Anonymous (ID: q75Td4k8) 05/27/23(Sat)23:28:41 No.428515497 >>428516539 >>428520273 >>428515497 >>428514593 arwen and her baby's daddy aragone >>428517649

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Anon visits the court...... | /r/Greentext

>be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess

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fake and gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 772019469 (6 m) >checks reddit >goes on r/greentext >finds a funny greentext story >lol.png >checks comments >"fake and gay" PNG 19.80 KB ok but really i think r/greentext has a limited word count when it comes to making fun of greentexts.

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Anon motivates you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 67 KB JPG 05/27/23 (Sat)07:19:14 No.73468213 >ugly fish has a friend whats your excuse?

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Anon meets Maisie Williams. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/20(Wed)19:53:56 No.1714215 ► >>1714271 >>1714430 >>1691529 >be on vacation in bongland >see Maisie Williams gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout >follow her for a block >working up courage >gently touch her shoulder "H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?" >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments >then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence "YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!" >quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths "FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper >head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Maisie cocks her head and squints at the menu "ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?” >look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script >she shoves her menu at the waiter "I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!" "I'm sorry, madam, we don-" "I SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!" >he slinks away without even taking my order >Maisie pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles "JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE?” >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >turn around >Maisie is slumped over the table >r---- to death by Pakis

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Anon is living the dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 63 KB JPG 05/03/21(Mon)21:04:37 No.63503742 > Be me about 5 months ago > Cold as f--- outside. Snow and s---. > Go inside > Take a hot shower > Get dried off and make a glass of hot chocolate > Light fireplace > Sit down on couch and start playing vidya > Dog jumps up next to me and lays down > Life is good

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/v/ spots T-gang representation in Tears of the Kingdom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous STA Költin 05/27/23(Sat)04:29:18 No.638464716 I promise I'll give you suitable treasures in exchange for them! IMG_4684.jpg 50 KB JPG Log Nintendo be like: "We already have trans representation at home"

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Bro living the dream | /r/Greentext

11 KB JPG >be me >at coffee shop >super cute girl goes up to grab her drink >looks like one of those lib health nuts >she turns and looks right at me >actual 10/10 >literally unable to move >still staring, can't help myself >she gives me a little frown >tsundere.png >walks right towards me >w--.jpg >completely frozen >grabs me and takes me outside >in disbelief >walks me to her car >as soon as the door closes she tears my clothes off >im literally dripping >she starts sucking >ecstasy.wav >immediately dump my fluids in her mouth >she swallows without a second's hesitation >goes for a few more minutes >i keep splashing my cream down her throat >she doesnt care, keeps swallowing >suddenly she's had her fill >rolls down the window and tosses me out on the side of the road >mfw i get blown into the bushes by a gust of wind >mfw i wont decompose for at least 200 years >mfw im a plastic straw

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