fake and gay | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous No. 772019469 (6 m) >checks reddit >goes on r/greentext >finds a funny greentext story >lol.png >checks comments >"fake and gay" PNG 19.80 KB ok but really i think r/greentext has a limited word count when it comes to making fun of greentexts.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon motivates you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 67 KB JPG 05/27/23 (Sat)07:19:14 No.73468213 >ugly fish has a friend whats your excuse?

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Anon meets Maisie Williams. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/20(Wed)19:53:56 No.1714215 ► >>1714271 >>1714430 >>1691529 >be on vacation in bongland >see Maisie Williams gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout >follow her for a block >working up courage >gently touch her shoulder "H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner?" >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments >then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence "YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT!" >quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths "FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper >head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Maisie cocks her head and squints at the menu "ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!?” >look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script >she shoves her menu at the waiter "I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV!" "I'm sorry, madam, we don-" "I SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE!" >he slinks away without even taking my order >Maisie pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles "JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE?” >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >turn around >Maisie is slumped over the table >r---- to death by Pakis

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Anon is living the dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 63 KB JPG 05/03/21(Mon)21:04:37 No.63503742 > Be me about 5 months ago > Cold as f--- outside. Snow and s---. > Go inside > Take a hot shower > Get dried off and make a glass of hot chocolate > Light fireplace > Sit down on couch and start playing vidya > Dog jumps up next to me and lays down > Life is good

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/v/ spots T-gang representation in Tears of the Kingdom. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous STA Költin 05/27/23(Sat)04:29:18 No.638464716 I promise I'll give you suitable treasures in exchange for them! IMG_4684.jpg 50 KB JPG Log Nintendo be like: "We already have trans representation at home"

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Bro living the dream | /r/Greentext

11 KB JPG >be me >at coffee shop >super cute girl goes up to grab her drink >looks like one of those lib health nuts >she turns and looks right at me >actual 10/10 >literally unable to move >still staring, can't help myself >she gives me a little frown >tsundere.png >walks right towards me >w--.jpg >completely frozen >grabs me and takes me outside >in disbelief >walks me to her car >as soon as the door closes she tears my clothes off >im literally dripping >she starts sucking >ecstasy.wav >immediately dump my fluids in her mouth >she swallows without a second's hesitation >goes for a few more minutes >i keep splashing my cream down her throat >she doesnt care, keeps swallowing >suddenly she's had her fill >rolls down the window and tosses me out on the side of the road >mfw i get blown into the bushes by a gust of wind >mfw i wont decompose for at least 200 years >mfw im a plastic straw

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Mother of Anon merely laughed. | /r/Greentext

>be me this morning >open gift from parents >its a weighted blanket >empty out my stocking >there's various small sensory toys >its not like I'm 7, I'm 18 >my younger brother and sister got normal s--- 13 KB PNG >look up at mom "Mom... am I autistic and you guys just never told me?" >she just smiles >mfw

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horse room | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 KB JPEG 27.05.2023 13:07:53 No.88431750 you open the door to your house. your home is missing. something is lying in it's place. you look down the unfamiliar room. the room is too dark the make out where the corners are. to you the room seems impossibly large. you notice a pathetic light. in the middle the room is a stray candle on a run down wooden chair, dimly illuminating the room. near the chair stands a horse. the candle softly shines on it's body, you can barely make out the horse's face and it's rough shape. you notice the horse has been staring at you. you don't know how long. you start staring back at the horse. you stop counting how long you've been staring, the horse's gaze starts to feel comforting. the horse gapes it's mouth. the teeth look human. it speaks in a tongue you understand. the horse tells you to come inside. your mind feels hazy. you struggle to think a single coherent thought. you don't feel lucid. you hear the door shut behind you.

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Anon can't break the cycle | /r/Greentext

Come into MY house, suck MY d---, call ME gay? #1, No. 73466597 5/27/23 2:34:25 AM 4A0DBA14-0F22-4AC7 -B96D-97F6A28103D5 JPG 524x539 45.4 kB >doing thing >feeling good >remember it's all meaningless since I will always be a creepy incel and I will die alone >stop doing thing and relapse on destructive behaviors How do I break the cycle?

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Anon know about terror | /r/Greentext

► Anonymous 04/30/19 (Tue) 15:04:55 ID: 86270b No.13212049 >>13212102 >>13212211 >>13212288 File (hide): 5bbd4c6fe2fd2c3.jpg (60.89 KB, 620x420, 31:21, London Dockyard Bombing 19....jpg) (h) (u) >>13212019 >A white nationalist wanting to raise awareness of the jewish problem and wanting worldwide support would target prominent jew elites and or zionist politicians How many jewish elites have you killed? 0 Apparently there has not been a single White nationalist in the last 8 decades. At least according to your criteria. Actual "terrorist" organizations are not comprised of rambo super-soldiers who snipe presidents and banksters from farm planes. Real warfare is dirty and bloody. And most hits are against "easy" targets. Even the most sophisticated "terrorist" organizations in the world rarely kill top level leaders. Expecting a lone wolf operating alone to do so is ridiculous. I'll bet you don't even know who these "elites" are. ► Anonymous 04/30/19 (Tue) 15:57:06 ID: 44188f No.13212288 >>13212308 >>13212313 >>13212320 >>13212355 >>13212501 >>13212535 >>13212647 >>13212776 >>13212049 Terrorism in general is a f------ brainlet tier political strategy, but terrorism against unarmed civilians is especially so. You're not significantly hurting any government or system, you're not costing anybody a lot of money, you're not killing a significant portion of a population or crucial government assets, you're just making you and everybody even vaguely affiliated with you look like bloodthirsty retards. https://www.e-ir.info/2014/06/22/is-terrorism-an-effective-way-to-attain-political-goals/citation related, the only way that terrorism would theoretically "work" is if you were to dedicate your entire life from very early age to infiltrating a terrorist group who you DON'T align with and perpetuate a terrorist attack on behalf of a political enemy, which is obviously unobtainable LARP tier and has the moral implications of gunning down and/or killing people who you are supposedly aligned with, but the prevalence of "false flag" theories every time an attack like this happens and the utter absence of false flag theories when ever a muzzie shoots up a place shows that most people understand the ineffectiveness of terrorist attacks implicitly. ► Anonymous 04/30/19 (Tue) 16:08:34 ID: 86270b No.13212355 >>13212501 >>13212647 >>13215235 File (hide): 77a2cc82d763d8a.jpg (90.97 KB, 1023x681, 341:227, Manchester Bombing .jpg) (h) (u) >>13212288 >Terrorism in general is a f------ brainlet tier political strategy I disagree. It works. Want some examples? I present you as an example of the effectiveness of terrorism. Tell me, when is the last time you were able to express your completely normal racial feelings in public or in earshot of a leftist? Not recently, huh? Why is this? Because you know that if you expressed your completely legal rights to a completely normal feeling in front of a liberal, you would likely end up the victim of a terror campaign waged by the ADL to make you jobless and homeless. If you're unlucky, you would be physically assaulted, have your house set on fire, and maybe even be killed. has happened before. So you keep your mouth shut. That's political terrorism and by god does it work. The ADL is a terrorist organization. Terrorism works by making it unpleasant and dangerous to express certain political opinions. In otherwords, by killing or injuring some people who you may not even know, terrorists cause you to change your own behavior. Now let's discuss my favourite topic; economic terrorism applied to states. You probably don't fly a Swastika in front of your home because you know that the ADL or their lackeys would wage economic terrorism against you and that is unpleasant. Now hypothetically apply this same logic on a larger scale. A state engages in a behavior that a group dislikes. In retaliation they do pic related every time they don't get their way. Sure, the government can weather a few major banks going under. Keep calm and carry on after all. But keep this up for a year, two years, three years and the calculating elites behind every government will begin making mental calculations on the costs of continuing this war. That's the only language that they understand. Anonymous 04/30/19 (Tue) 16:27:37 ID: 86270b 13212501 >>13212647 >>13215235 File (hide): bd8f873916aea58.jpg (120.81 KB, 750x785, 150:157, oklahoma-city bombing.jpg) (h) (u) EUSKAL HERRIA >>13212288 >>13212355 Now let's bring the discussion of "terrorism" down a notch and discuss the micro level again hypothetically. Let's simplify matters to two examples; One is a real-world historical example and the other is a potential future if things do not change. Say you're a bloke in South Armagh County Ireland in 1982. The British are here and so is the PIRA. You could collaborate with the British authorities. But if you do that, the Provos will almost certainly find out and blow your f------ head off if they don't break every bone in your body first. Thus, even if you do not support Irish nationalism, even if you're not even a Catholic, you will most likely keep your mouth shut and applaud when needed and not talk to the Brits. I want to include another example; You're in the same place at the same time but now you're a British soldier. You could proactively patrol the surrounding farmlands and villages and interract with the community to gain their trust and bring these 'orrid troubles to an end. But if you show your face outside yoru compound, you're likely to be shot. If you drive around in an armoured cab, you're likely to run over an IED and go home a cripple or worse. And if you try to live in a house anywhere in Derry, the Provos will come to your appartment, drag you and maybe your family out and shoot you. So you don't. You keep your arse in your bunker and sulk. That's how the PIRA cleaned an entire county of enemy soldiers. Now let's imagine that someday White Americans get tired of being run out of our homes and ethnically replaced by these hostile shitskins. So one man goes to the border and starts randomly applying the same PIRA logic to these greedy, sneering bastards vomiting forth from the swamps of Mexico. These greedy spics come here because they know that they have everything to gain and nothing to lose. If they also heard that Americans might shoot people crossing the border, the flood would end. Less and less people would risk entering the USA because free gibs is still not a fair trade off for death. Even a few such instances would be enough to spook the swarm. Don't believe me? Go ask yoru neighbors whether they became afraid of airtravel in the wake of 9/11. Half of America was preparing for the apocalypse after the DC snipers even though they only killed a few random people in a small area. And just a few anthrax laced letters made millions of Sally Soccer-moms and Joe six-packs across America afraid of their own mail. You're more likely to die in your own bathtub than be killed in an Islamic terror attack. Yet ask almost anyone and they'll tell you that they're afraid. They're afraid of offending Muslims because of a few people they never met were killed randomly by Muslims in retaliation for slights. ► Anonymous 04/30/19 (Tue) 16:46:01 ID: 86270b No.13212647 >>13212743 >>13215235 >>13215300 File (hide): e1e999dd81baf2b.jpg (33.24 KB, 480x276, 5:3, Basque-separatist-group-E-....jpg) (h) (u) >>13212501 >>13212355 >>13212288 Now let's discuss tertiary effects of terrorism. Let's bring things back up to the Macro level but remember that this works in all cases Say that you're a aggrieved group in say, I dunno, Spain or something. Say you're Basque and the Spanish government has revoked your ethnic autonomous status and is now flooding your province with shitskins in an act of literal biological war against the Euskadi. So after years of pleading and begging for a peaceful redress of your peoples' grievances, the Basque people get tired of having their rights trampled upon and go back to the terrorism that made them a special autonomous region in the first place. Every couple of weeks, a large bomb is detonated outside or underneath a major bank or a politician who is responsible for this atrocity is kidnapped and murdered. This will continue for as long as the Spanish government refuses to respect Basque rights. How long do you think it would take them to figure it out and cut off the flood? How many banks? How many airports? How much money would you want to hemorrhage before you stopped this insane, ridiculous policy of flooding Navarre with shitskins? Now contemplate what might happen if the Northwest Front behaved like the Neo-ETA in this hypothetical exercise. ▶ Anonymous 04/30/19 (Tue) 16:58:53 ID: 86270b No.13212743 >13215235 File (hide): d8440ae18a8770b.jpg (863.92 KB, 800x1200, 2:3, 20.jpg) (h) (u) >>13212647 Sorry, I lost my train of thought due to an irl distraction. I was talking about tertiary effects of terrorism. Anyway, so here you are, a Basque in Spain blowing up banks. Even if you just blow up one bank, the Regime will panic because the bankers are panicking. The bankers are screaming that the System do something to stop this holocaust of bank explosions. But the System cannot do anything to stop angry dissidents from retaliating against a policy that THE GODDAMN BANKERS implemented in the first place. So they do the next best thing; they pretend to be doing something. That means posting extra security at every bank, at every synagogue, at every airport, at everyone's house. Soon, every mayor and his secretary gets an armed security detail. You can't even get your mail without going through a metal detector and being padded down like a criminal. This is expensive and demoralizing for the Regime. It is wasteful and is one of the tertiary costs of a Regime warring against an asymmetrical enemy. In otherwords, being groped at the airport is one of the costs that you as a citizen pay because your government is waging a genocidal war against the people. That's a tertiary cost of this war. And it is apparent in your high taxes that pay these goons to grope you and in the demoralizing feeling you experience every time you have to pass through a literal military security checkpoint just to fly to a city in your own country. Apply this to any asymmetric conflict. Myanmar, Iraq, or America. A few hundred dollars worth of explosives can compel a tyrannical regime to expend literally billions in needless and ineffective security theater. This sometimes even exceeds the actual damage that terrorism costs a government. Generals fight wars but accountants call the shots.

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This summer....Rob Schneider is.... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/27/23(Sat)09:05:19 No.58347617 >>58347647 >>58347487 # >THIS SUMMER JOIN ONE UNLUCKY GUY... >shot of Rob Schnieder on the street of St. Petersburg trying to speak to locals in English Who gets caught up in one unlucky war >shots of Putin ordering an invasion and montage of tanks, helis, and a map of Russian forces pouring over a map of Ukraine >shot of Rob being mistaken for an AWOL soldier, and grabbed and hauled off Rob: Wait you guys have a serious mistake! >You guys... >shot of training camp >montage of beatings, being shot at, a grenade nearly going off in his hand >have made >gets thrown into a truck >a big >arrives at the front >Mistake.... >goofy rock song plays >Narrator: Now he has to survive a war, he never signed up for through any means neccesary. >shot of Rob dressed as a woman dancing for Chechans >Rob looks up and sees a bird, he tells his buddy and everyone just runs. Rob stands there. >suddenly bombs drop and he has to run leading to a minefield >This summer... Rob Schnieder is... Going to War

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Anon sums up 2016 | /r/Greentext

Does anyone even like trump an(...) Elon Musk @elonmusk The attacks against DeSantis are not landing 4:16 PM - May 26, 2023 778.8K Views 848 Retweets 233 Quotes 10.8K Likes 54 Bookmarks 05/26/23 (Fri)18:34:37 No.428446549 IMG_3378.jpg 208 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: rWezLrrQ >>428446549 (OP) # Nobody ever liked Trump. They just hated Hillary. Anonymous (ID: OZGT284D 05/26/23 (Fri)18:35:27 No.428446613 >>428446691 # >>428446999 # >>428447776 # >>428448414 # >>428449772 # >>428451102 # >>428453017 # >>428455178 # >>428455279 # >>428457987 # >>428459646 # >>428460674 # >>428460884 # >>428461216 # >>428461396 # >>428464913 # Anonymous (ID: T/z2b1Qj 05/26/23(Fri)18:36:11 No.428446691 >>428446613 # >Nobody ever liked Trump. They just hated Hillary. FPBP >>428449772 # >>428453017 # >>428456233 # >>428457987 # >>428464913 # 05/26/22/Fril19.27.19 No 128116822

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The wisdom teeth are extracted by Anon. | /r/Greentext

>get wisdom teeth removed go home high as s--- get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (1 don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube -25 times >I thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin"

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