Anon makes easy money | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 05/04/23(Thu)16:27:02 No.898707604 49 KB JPG >hate myself >life comes at me fast and I get married >hate myself even more, want to kill myself >a month later, wife comes to me with her paycheck >"anon you are my husband, I trust that you will take good care of me and the family we are going to make. Here's my paycheck, going forward you take care of the money and the house. I will take care of the home." That moment changed me, like someone for the first time thought of me as worthy of something. I still suck at so much in life but I wake up every day wanting to be better. She saved me /b/ just with her trust, she made me a man. It's been 4 years and we have a beautiful daughter together. Life is good.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has a butter dish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous better dink AF 61 KB JPG 05/04/23(Thu)22:05:14 No.898706691 >be me >home alone >sitting in my PJs >hear a knock on the door >it's a little girl, probably around 13 >"I came to drop off the butter dish" >she hands it to me >"thanks" >no packaging or anything >she walks away while I close the door no one in my family knows who she was or why she would be giving us a butter dish I have a butter dish now I guess

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Femanon doesn't like it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 206 KB PNG 04/16/23(Sun)16:31:40 No.72973144 >like to flirt with guys >disgusted when they flirt back why am I like this?

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Anon tries to get in shape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)02:02:40 No.61176759 >>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros >>61176799 # >>61176803 # >>61176818 # >>61176835 # >>61176906 # >>61177071 # >>61177082 # >>61177707 # >>61178136 # >>61178305 #

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Anon makes a bad joke | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/04/23(Thu)16:39:00 No.898695935 >be attending after party of event >some stupid bitch comes up to me that I really hate >both drunk >>898696204 >>898696302 >>898 >I offer her a drink >She says "I don't want a drink off you in case it was roofied" (she was just saying that to be a c--- and cause she was drunk) >Tell her "If I was going to spike somebody I'd do better than a 6/10" >She gets p----- at me and leaves (good) I still think this is really funny but I'm wondering if it was a retarded thing to say now. She never mentioned it again btw cause she was probably too drunk to remember

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Anon supports animal rights? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OCNOKND/ 05/05/23(Fri)02:31:13 No.425815403 File: 250C68B9-09E9-402D-AE23-D(...).jpg (259 KB, 720x794) Anonymous 03/02/12 (Fri)17:39 No. 1921453 If only you knew how bad things really are. >Be a Jew >Sin all year >Transfer your sins to a chicken >Torture the chicken and kill it >The chicken goes to hell instead of you >Yay! we fooled God mas monos

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Anon hates being in love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate being in love 05/04/23(Thu)18:04:33 No.73198544 >fell hard for a girl that I talk to at the bus station every morning >headaches start to get more frequent >chest starts to hurt all the time like a m----------- >in a bad mood 24/7 >think about scenarios all the time in which she rejects me and insults me till I cry >start getting moody and hostile to everyone >quality of life decreases drastically >stupid brain and stupid heart cant just let go and accept that she will never want me anyway >have to suffer like this for god knows how long 246 KB JPG I hate being in love. Its the worst feeling I can possibly imagine. Is there a way I can stop myself from this s---? I will never succeed with a woman anyway I need to stop my retarded biological desires somehow

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Anon doesn't understand that he's the problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people ****** 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. - 1d I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD there is no political solution E 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >>329597517 (OP) # >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

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Reject Capitalism, Return to Feudalism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (W25nZhQD) 05/04/23(Thu)20:45:51 No.425787996 File: 1678361686931151m.jpg (116 KB, 1024x863) Cats in Middle Ages: - hard working went to church - walked on hind legs - contributed to society Cats now : - lazy and ungrateful - atheists - too lazy to walk on hind legs

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Anon protects virginity. | /r/Greentext

SpongeAnon >be 18 >17 year old classmate asks to share virginities > i say no because I think its wrong to f--- someone I have no intention of seeing later >be 19 >18 year old w---- on dating apps explicitly asks to f--- (i distincly remember her saying no man had ever given her an orgasm) >i say no because I don't wanna f--- some w---- >be 20 >24 year old friend im on a hangout with brings me to her bed 31 KB JPG 05/04/23(Thu)08:04:06 No.73196986 >don't f--- her because I'm not f------ someone who I didn't even realise I was dating >be 21 still virgin >get girlfriend >shes not a virgin Should I have sex with her? I can't get over the fact that I protected my virginity willingly with the expectation that I would find a fellow virgin to share my life with, and now I will forever feel lesser to my girlfriend because of my own morality.

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Anon watches customised kino every night | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 184161966 KJEK 736.8 kB PNG 22 REPLIES 25 IMAGES 2 hr ago ... >produces customized kino for you nightly 2 REPLIES REPLY Anonymous | 184161990 mine are so boring that i have trouble distinguishing my dreams from things that have really happened 2 hr ago ●●●

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I think i almost gave a t-----(...) 05/04/23(Thu)10:56:54 No.73195724 >I was walking home with my groceries >A "girl" approached me and said hi to me >We talked for a bit >"She" asked me for my phone number 19 KB JPG >I said ok and start writing it down on a post it note >Hmmm wait a minute theres no way a girl would ask someone like me for my phone number >Kick "her" as hard as i can in the crotch to see if "shes" a man >"She" falls to the ground and starts grabbing "her" balls and crying. >yep as i though thats a man girls dont have anything down there so that wouldnt hurt a real girl >leave I almost gave a t----- my phone number and got aids. That was close. They are getting more and more realistic every year i almost fell for that one. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon recounts a dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The best time of your life gre(...) 05/04/23(Thu)17:37:08 No.898682093 10 KB JPG >be me >be super skillz computer terrorizt hackerman. >work at pizza planet. >radio in kitchen >"*WIN TICKETS TO SEE SOME F----- OYLMPIC ICESCATOR SPIN AND TWIRLL AROUND LIKE SOME F----- WHILE HEART PLAYS MUSIC*" >want to see scantily clad rocker chicks. >maybe rockgod waifu Joan Jett will show up who knows. >"*TEXT 'F----- ICESKATER' TO 555-3825*" >text 'f----- icescator' to number. >500 times >I win the tickets >go to concert >winter so coat >have Zeppelin Zoso patches on coat >mfw the entire section of rinkside seats is empty. >mfw I won all the tickets in the contest and they didn't have time to run another contest. >my winter coat is covered in Zeppelin Zoso patches and I'm obviously not hear for f----- icescathor. >ignore f----- icescater flips abd faggotry and headbang to cougar rocker chicks. >go backstage and f--- rocker chicks. >blow my load down Joan Jett's throat. >c-- twice in both Heart chick's p------. >I am a pizza planet God. >banned from that channel4's and their affiliated radio statiom's contests.

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