Maybe practice basic hygiene instead of shitposting online anon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 05/06/22(Fri)01:01:44 59 KB JPG No.68513329 >tfw haven't showered in like 3 weeks >went to the landomat >saw this cute girl I know who always gives me a big hug when I see her >She's clearly not wearing a bra >I have to avoid the hug because I know i probably smell bad. Could have had titles pressed against me. Feels bad.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon should try showering every once in a while | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 07/14/22(Thu)08:42:29 No.69406541 >be at relatives with family >they hug everyone >except me >they go for an awkward handshake with me where my hand is squished

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Anon goes to work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 168 KB PNG 04/22/23 (Sat) 19:41:45 No.73052953 >be me, going to work >packed train but managed to secure a seat >somewhat long ride, so decide to play some vidya >fire up some good ol' pixel gun 3d >play survival for as many rounds as I can >the woman next to me keeps glancing at my phone, idk why >realize it's because of the pet mammoth I named "hairy n-----" >I close the game and put my phone back in my pocket for the remainder of the ride. Thank god my company doesn't have company shirts or else she would have probably called my boss, and I would have been f-----. 45 Replies / 36 Images View Thread

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anon is just like me fr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)22:16:13 No.73053001 bane2.png 310 KB PNG >don't enjoy masturbating anymore >don't enjoy drinking anymore >don't even enjoy eating anymore I hardly feel anything. I can't sleep most nights, but it doesn't seem to matter. I get up every morning and go to work like I had around 8 hours of sleep. When I get home I listen to music and stare at the ceiling. I think I'm going to walk to my city's tallest bridge tomorrow and jump off of it. : Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat) 22:19:23 No.73053030 I. . . Dont... Tbink. . . Sandals. . . Are... Good... For... Your.. Feet... : Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)22:21:20 No.73053058 Try taking a ZMA (zinc magnesium and b6) supplement first.

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Anon fails the skill check | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 04/22/23(Sat)11:53:59 No.73052607 CN >boring ass English class >the urge >the urge is strong >too strong to resist >instead of pretending to go take a s--- like a normal person I have a worse idea >put my hands inside my shirt >people probably think it's normal autismo behavior for >high school 9th grade >hit puberty pretty late, am just now in my hyper horny phase me >reach into my pants and just play with it a little >stealthily of course >no one notices it seems >do it again a week later >nice no one noticed again >next day I get weird looks from people >talk to one of only 2 friends i have there >hand him a book he dropped >"don't touch it with your right hand" >didn't understand at first >after he walked away it hit me >he isn't even in that english class >everyone f------ knows The only silver lining is that this happened during the last 2 weeks of school and I was homeschooled after that

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Anons family gathering | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 43 KB JPG www >be me >be today >family gathering >get ignored for the most part >they're not really interested in what I have to say >get cut off while talking >go up to my room >play vidya >... 04/22/23(Sat)16:38:02 No.73051653 >"Anon, come downstairs! Everyone is wondering where you are." >while passing by my mother she says "Aren't you ashamed to leave everyone just like that?" Tremendous. 13 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anons brother is homophobic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 74 KB JPG 04/22/23(Sat)22:16:45 No.73054441 >Be me >Have an older brother >He's very transphobic and homophobic >He asks me to help him set a new ringtone >Look through his files to find the sound he wants to use >Stumble upon MULTIPLE t----- p--- videos >Ask my brother about it >"I don't know how those got there" >"I don't remember downloading those" >He immediately tries to delete the videos >The atmosphere is really awkward now >Just ask him to leave What the f--- do I do? Do I just ignore it and accept the fact that my older brother loves t----- p---? I don't think I can ever look at him in the same way again. 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon has stuffed toys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >turn on my raspberry pi and put on Super Mario Kart >he drives around in circles because he's at that age were he doesn't understand how to press multiple buttons 84 KB JPG >he gets bored and plays with my stuffed toys until he gets called down for dinner This is a true story 04/22/23(Sat)16:50:48 No.634920425 >nephew asks to see my room because I'm a cool gamer uncle according to my sister >my Wii U is unplugged because it's a s--- console and my PS4 only has grown up games : Anonymous >>634920425 (OP) # >my stuffed toys >>634920795 # >>634920945 # 04/22/23(Sat)16:54:32 No.634920623 : Anonymous >>634920623 # Sorry. Collectable plushies. : Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)16:57:32 No.634920795 : Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)16:57:40 No.634920805 OK, and I should care about literally any of this because...? 04/22/23(Sat)16:59:45 No.634920909 ok but why did you have sex with him

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anon shares a life hack | /r/Greentext

O Master piss Life hack? Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri)18:51:10 No.73046260 >Arrive at urinal at the same time as another guy >STANDOFF, silence as neither of us piss >Start thinking about how my c--- is probably bigger than his. >starts pissing And you can too. You're welcome anon >> □ Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri)18:52:55 No.73046276 ► File: 51c-2.png (262 KB, 428x438) >Arrive at urinal at the same time as another guy >STANDOFF, silence as neither of us piss >Start thinking about how my c--- is probably smaller than his. >starts c------ And you can too. You're welcome anon

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Playing video games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 168 KB PNG 04/22/23(Sat)12:41:45 No.73052953 >be me, going to work >packed train but managed to secure a seat >somewhat long ride, so decide to play some vidya >fire up some good ol' pixel gun 3d >play survival for as many rounds as I can >the woman next to me keeps glancing at my phone, idk why >realize it's because of the pet mammoth I named "hairy nic >I close the game and put my phone back in my pocket for the remainder of the ride. Thank god my company doesn't have company shirts or else she would have probably called my boss, and I would have been f-----. 42 Replies / 33 Images View Thread

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Anon biffs his English exam | /r/Greentext

File: untitled.png (29 KB, 361x300) Today's researchers have found that the veritable army of trained volunteers traveling the country conducting face-to-face interviews can sometimes be 29 replaced by another army the vast array of individuals volunteering details about their lives-and, inadvertently, their language-through social media. Brice Russ of Ohio State 29 A) NO CHANGE B) replaced-by another army, C) replaced by another army; D) replaced by another army Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat) 13:09:38 No.73053858 >Be me >16 >Standardized testing >English test >See question (pic related) >Semicolons are used to separate complex thoughts >Pic C >Days later >Get test back >Got question wrong >Forgot about colons >Rage.wav

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Humans won't be replaced (and that's bad) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HD-03 04/21/23(Fri) 22:01:04 No.92938411 Boston D D5B84034-8DC1-4639-84BB-B507EB451310.jpg 540 KB JPG >robot >100kg battery >10,000 watt hours for 1 hour of movement >breaks after a couple years VS >human >1 potato (220 grams) for 1 hour of movement >lasts 70 years >way more manoeuvrable Why are biological processes so much more efficient than mechanical ones? : Anonymous >>92938411 (OP) # Let me rephrase the question for you to show off your stupidity. 04/21/23(Fri)22:07:07 No.92938518 >Why are humans not better at creating mechanical beings that can rival humans after just 70 years of robotics? >Seasoning applied

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anon notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

230 2000 000 in 2010 GTV Aue www.p Oare van y est kare Crestrekt >right-wing Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child r----- in Florida >right-wing Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. >right-wing Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. >right-wing Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child p---------- on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor. >right-wing Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for r----- his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17. >right-wing Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls. >right-wing Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl. >right-wing Republican racist p-------- and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child. >right-wing Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile. >right-wing Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl. >right-wing Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. >right-wing Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. >right-wing Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail. >right-wing Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child p--- am i noticing a pattern?

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