anon has stuffed toys | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous >turn on my raspberry pi and put on Super Mario Kart >he drives around in circles because he's at that age were he doesn't understand how to press multiple buttons 84 KB JPG >he gets bored and plays with my stuffed toys until he gets called down for dinner This is a true story 04/22/23(Sat)16:50:48 No.634920425 >nephew asks to see my room because I'm a cool gamer uncle according to my sister >my Wii U is unplugged because it's a s--- console and my PS4 only has grown up games : Anonymous >>634920425 (OP) # >my stuffed toys >>634920795 # >>634920945 # 04/22/23(Sat)16:54:32 No.634920623 : Anonymous >>634920623 # Sorry. Collectable plushies. : Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)16:57:32 No.634920795 : Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)16:57:40 No.634920805 OK, and I should care about literally any of this because...? 04/22/23(Sat)16:59:45 No.634920909 ok but why did you have sex with him

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon shares a life hack | /r/Greentext

O Master piss Life hack? Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri)18:51:10 No.73046260 >Arrive at urinal at the same time as another guy >STANDOFF, silence as neither of us piss >Start thinking about how my c--- is probably bigger than his. >starts pissing And you can too. You're welcome anon >> □ Anonymous 04/21/23(Fri)18:52:55 No.73046276 ► File: 51c-2.png (262 KB, 428x438) >Arrive at urinal at the same time as another guy >STANDOFF, silence as neither of us piss >Start thinking about how my c--- is probably smaller than his. >starts c------ And you can too. You're welcome anon

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Playing video games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 168 KB PNG 04/22/23(Sat)12:41:45 No.73052953 >be me, going to work >packed train but managed to secure a seat >somewhat long ride, so decide to play some vidya >fire up some good ol' pixel gun 3d >play survival for as many rounds as I can >the woman next to me keeps glancing at my phone, idk why >realize it's because of the pet mammoth I named "hairy nic >I close the game and put my phone back in my pocket for the remainder of the ride. Thank god my company doesn't have company shirts or else she would have probably called my boss, and I would have been f-----. 42 Replies / 33 Images View Thread

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Anon biffs his English exam | /r/Greentext

File: untitled.png (29 KB, 361x300) Today's researchers have found that the veritable army of trained volunteers traveling the country conducting face-to-face interviews can sometimes be 29 replaced by another army the vast array of individuals volunteering details about their lives-and, inadvertently, their language-through social media. Brice Russ of Ohio State 29 A) NO CHANGE B) replaced-by another army, C) replaced by another army; D) replaced by another army Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat) 13:09:38 No.73053858 >Be me >16 >Standardized testing >English test >See question (pic related) >Semicolons are used to separate complex thoughts >Pic C >Days later >Get test back >Got question wrong >Forgot about colons >Rage.wav

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Humans won't be replaced (and that's bad) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HD-03 04/21/23(Fri) 22:01:04 No.92938411 Boston D D5B84034-8DC1-4639-84BB-B507EB451310.jpg 540 KB JPG >robot >100kg battery >10,000 watt hours for 1 hour of movement >breaks after a couple years VS >human >1 potato (220 grams) for 1 hour of movement >lasts 70 years >way more manoeuvrable Why are biological processes so much more efficient than mechanical ones? : Anonymous >>92938411 (OP) # Let me rephrase the question for you to show off your stupidity. 04/21/23(Fri)22:07:07 No.92938518 >Why are humans not better at creating mechanical beings that can rival humans after just 70 years of robotics? >Seasoning applied

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anon notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

230 2000 000 in 2010 GTV Aue www.p Oare van y est kare Crestrekt >right-wing Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child r----- in Florida >right-wing Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. >right-wing Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. >right-wing Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child p---------- on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor. >right-wing Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for r----- his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17. >right-wing Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls. >right-wing Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl. >right-wing Republican racist p-------- and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child. >right-wing Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile. >right-wing Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl. >right-wing Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. >right-wing Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. >right-wing Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail. >right-wing Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child p--- am i noticing a pattern?

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Mario Bros. Movie Hits Different for Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Super Mario Bros 04/23/23(Sun)00:38:09 No.898021335 Be me Mariotard for the past 31 yearsNever understood what trannies and LGBTFags are talking about with "muh representation" Excited to see Super Mario Bros Worried Chris Pratt will f--- up my Mario Kino by phoning in the voice Edge of my seat the whole movie, diamonds everytime Peach is on screen The end astounds me, I feel like I am one of the heroes MFW Bowser is put in the jar Instantly understand what gays and trans crave Drive home pretending I'm Bullet Bill blasting down the rainbow road 11 KB JPG Go home and j------- for not even 2 minutes to my collection of Princess Peach p--- before blowing the fattest load into my c-- jar, letting out a "yahoo, it's a me Mario" Feels like the Super Star touched the tip of my mushroom My Bowser figurine is almost completely submerged MammaMia.mp3 I hope the next movie has Daisy or Rosalina

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Anon likes Oyasumi Punpun | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat) 15:52:55 No.73051762 >be me >bad seed ugly and lonely >one day i meet that cute girl who likes oyasumi punpun just like me >feel happy for the first time in life >we start being sexfriends but she has vaginismus so she asks me to do everything to her but no penetration >tell her i don't care about sex i just love being with her >not my gf but we do everything together >after 5 months she gets tired of me and leaves >depressed and suicidal for 2 years now >start stalking her and see she has a bf now >then she posts a picture in another guy bed weeks after >"he just nutted in me and started mixing on FL Studio" why are women so evil?

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Anon is mommymaxxing | /r/Greentext

18/se/E Ver drinking breast milk Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:14:06 No.60522647 >>60524046 >>60524168 >>60524399 >>60524925 >>60525090 >>60525199 >>60525318 > File: Screenshot 2021-03-23 184007.png (482 KB, 790x565) Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue) 18:40:38 No.60523056 ► >>60523082 >>60523101 >>60523282 >>60523302 >>60524127 >>60524505 >>60524925 >>60525254 >>60525267 >>60525664 >>60525690 >>60525794 >>60527869 >>6 Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)1 >>60523056 You are literally a baby's first gains goblin. Put me in the screencap. >be me >set a goal to get swole >bought breastmilk from a local woman >a literal ice cooler full of it Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:14:48 No.60522661 >>6 File: Screenshot 2021-03-23 181430.png (338 KB, 468x620) >>60522647 (OP) better pic than the 1st one >mfw I drink it everyday for HGH >mfw even Arnie used to drink it all the time in his bodybuilding days cya virgins, pic related. I'm getting swole faster AND in style. >>60523417 It's for you Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:15:50 No.60522681 >>60522698 >>60523056 >>60523417 What's it taste like? Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue) 18:16:50 No.60522698 ► >>60523738 >>60524925 >>60525558 >>60525922 >>60526121 File: Screenshot 2021-03-23 181616.png (317 465x613) Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)19:03:34 No.60523442 File: 1596908710682.png (259 KB, 600x1080) Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:42:39 No.60523082 ► >>60523056 Hope she doesn't have AIDS bro. >>60522647 (OP) >>60522661 >>60522681 it tastes like regular milk but slightly thicker and a teeny bit like metal. but overall, good. >>60522698 bro its not supposed to be thick or taste like metal, ita very fluid and sweet >t. father of two who drinks mad breastmilk Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)19:05:05 No.60523472 File: 1615863539360.jpg (34 KB, 627x658) Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)19:53:13 No.60524127 >>60524214 File: Goku.jpg (115 KB, 960x540) >>60523056 >>60523417 H-------- OP you're gonna make it bro >>60522843 >>60522825 >>60522737 >>60522681 my holy stash >>60523417 you ARE going to make it >>60522900 >>60522988 >>60523008 >>60522894 >>60522882 >>60522874 Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:54:35 No.60523282 File: BeeegBoi.jpg (13 KB, 231x250) >>60523056 did you raid the lactation room? Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)20:12:31 No.60524399 ► >>60522647 (OP) absolutely based 3/24/21 - /fit/ - "Mommymaxxing" >>60523554 Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)19:40:48 No.60523956 File: 1590722552971.jpg (75 KB, 570x754) >OP >>60522647 (OP) >>60522681 >>60522737 >>60522843 >>60522874 >>60522882 >>60522894 >>60522900 You are literally a baby's first gains goblin. Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)19:02:20 No.60523417 › >60526285 >>60526564 >>60527229 >>60527327 >>60527520 >>605241804 180524210.4 +605251.34.4 2+86825211.4 File: IMG_20210323_185959_50.jpg (45 KB, 360x640) >>-60530100ť 11:405329. >>60522988 >>60523008 >>60523082 >>60523101 62400 >>60523180 >>60523183 02220 315 b >>60523339 >>60523345 >>60523360 >>60523374 Bon apetite! Oreos go great with it! www >>60522647 (OP) # >>-60522661 >>60522698 # >>60523056 # >>60523417 # What the F--- is wrong with you? That s--- is meant to help babies grow, not to fulfill your degenerate fondsing Anonymous 03/23/21 (Tue)18:57:20 No.60523338 ► 2 File: 1616266366831.png (432 KB, 776x720) >>6052261/ (CP) Fut me in the screencap, bros. Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)19:49:59 No.60524078 >>6052 File: 12348812348.jpg (76 KB, 820x580) AARAAN Based OP. Hope I'm not too late for the screen cap Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)18:55:48 No.60523302 >>605 >>60523056 Put me in the screencap. Reddit will s--- their pants over Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)20:34:57 No.6052465 Just put me in the screencap bros. - A.P. Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)20:40:40 No.60524735 ► File: 92532DE4-A51D-4BFE-8B4D-7(...).png (521 KB, 719 on menarge >>60523417 Please post body I must see king drinking breast milk Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)20:14:38 No.60524424 ► File: 1615647822995.jpg (104 KB, 1080x1080) >>60523417 king

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Anon wants a normie friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 3.19 MB PNG 2 Replies 04/22/23(Sat)08:41:51 No.73051291 How do I tame and befriend normalfags? I only watch anime, stuff like Sopranos and read manga. I cracked a joke at uni the other day and everyone looked at me weird. I tried pulling a Sopranos move and went like: >"C'mon... I'm just breakin' balls!" It didn't work. >never watched star wars >never watched capeshit >never watched pozzed tv shows >never saw a ball game >don't read the news View Thread 04/22/23(Sat)08:43:32 No.73051300 Anonymous >>73051291 (OP) # There should be plenty of people into weeb stuff at unis. Find people into weeb stuff. If you try to do that with people you have absolutely nothing in common with, you may as well talk to a wall. Anonymous 04/22/23(Sat)08:48:29 No.73051330 why do you want to befriend normies? you have nothing in common and would get frustrated, autistic and bored around them

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something something about boomer anons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: DjxfOyJL) >>108991663 (OP) >be a man in the 1950's >coming home from work from my high paying unionized job with pension and benefits >drive my 8,000lb 8mpg 18' long car with huge fins on the back >glance out the window and see a n---- walking down the street >stop at the corner bar and call the cops, watch as they beat him into a coma while sipping a Gimlet >stop by the hardware store on the way home and buy several guns with no background check >greeted by my submissive and dutiful wife with a kiss >greeted by my obedient and well educated kids with a hug >greeted by my Golden Retriever carrying my slippers >sit own to a dinner of all-American grown products that is already on table >after dinner the kids do their homework and the wife does the dishes 01/25/17(Wed)09:45:48 No. 108991904>>108992100 >>108993039 >>108994093 >>108995505 >pour myself a Canadian Club on the rocks and recline in my La-Z-Boy >watch the nightly news and see America bombing Communists in some backward s------- >smile as I remember all the Nips I killed on Guadalcanal >plan our family vacation trip to the Poconos >time for bed >f--- my wife in the missionary position with no concern for her pleasure >drift off to dream of the greatness of America

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the greatest generation ruined the boomers by giving them what they didnt get. and it spoiled them and fucked up gen x and gen x has fucked zoomers (with zoomers gonna be DP by debt and AI) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/18(Sun)22:00:43 No.45718012 Hello Anon. It's Grandpa. I came down from heaven to ask you this one simple question: what the hell is wrong with you? I killed four Nips on Iwojima and now here you are, seven decades later, 81 KB JPG masturbating to their cartoons! Jesus Christ! What happened to you? Was I too easy on your Father? I'm so glad I'm dead so I don't have to see the "man" you've become. You sicken me. View Thread

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Anon jerks it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)11:49:54 No.50935046 >j------- for the tenth time in a row today >semen stops c------ out F------ FINALLY! Now I can j------- anywhere without worrying about 10 KB JPG making a mess! >j------- for the eleventh time, not preparing a tissue >the tiniest bit of j--- that c--- out lands on my cheek FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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