Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

E Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)18:47:03 No.57779130 Camera_20230408_194345.jpg 518 KB JPG I have given a raccoon a gun I shall post the results later

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is on Reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: N88N2iGK) 05/06/17(Sat)22:32:10 No.170514 >be me >browsing reddit >find new subreddit >looks interesting, good amount of subscribers >immediately bombarded with colorful CSS theme >big banner telling me to subscribe >can't vote unless I'm subscribed >top sticky thread is promoting their new discord channel >second sticky thread is about whatever the current discussion theme of the week is >comment sections has AutoModerator auto-stickying a comment to remind people of the rules and to join the discord channel >the textbox for comments has a background reminding people of the rules and to be polite >the downvote button displays a message begging us to not downvote based on opinion, as if anyone actually followed that >can't take it anymore, disable CSS >try to make a post >reminded of the rules again >ask people a general question, should get a discussion going. Looks like a fairly standard thread. >AutoModerator immediately replies >"Sorry /u/Anon, your thread has been removed because it wasn't properly tagged." with more text reminding me of rule number 3b and links to their FAQ page. >Whatever, try to make the thread again with a [Discussion] tagged as suggested. >"You are doing that too much. Try again in 9 minutes" >Wait 9 minutes >Post >AutoMod again. "Hi /u/Anon and thanks for posting, however your thread has been temporarily removed because your account is either too recent or doesn't have enough karma. It has been forwarded to the moderators for review." with more text reminding me about rule 6c >Wait an hour >Get a reply from a moderator >"Sorry /u/Anon, we reviewed your thread and that question has already been asked 6 months ago. Please remember to use the search feature before posting a new thread." with more text reminding me of rule 2a >Tell the moderator that's b------- >Get banned >Message the mods about it saying that one mod was powertripping >Get muted >Decide I'll just lurk then >See the same question I asked on the front page the next day >17k upvotes, 3000 comments, gilded twice

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Anon turns into a femboy after entering computer science | /r/Greentext

Anonymous help New Study Reveals Monster Energy Drink Causes Men to Turn Into 'Femboys' Fri, 03 Mar 2023 03/19/23(Sun)16:26:16 No.72628516 URINE GINSER MONSTER ENERGY ashdjs.jpg 64 KB JPG 500 mL In a shocking discovery, a recent study has revealed that consuming Monster Energy Drink can lead to a phenomenon called "estrogenization in men, causing them to turn into "femboys." According to the study, Monster Energy Drink contains a high amount of phytoestrogens, which are plant-based compounds that mimic the effects of estrogen in the body. When consumed in large quantities, these compounds can disrupt the hormonal balance in men, leading to a decrease in testosterone levels and an increase in estrogen levels. >went full femboy 2 months ago cos computer science, discord etc >suddenly cute autistic classmate i barely knew for years wnats to do things with me >i feel for her >cant stop thinking about her >also cant stop thinking about sucking cocks and other femboy stuff How do i fix myself? i dont think she is autistic enough to understand

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Anon fights back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: iptPmkK5) E > Year is 2045 > Al spiders scrape the internet find your old post history and connect all the dots > They show you are racist, hateful, sexist, p--- addict, etc. and generate reports to prove it > Everyone is scared of everything they said 15 years ago, and all is achieved We are so f-----. ChatGPT 04/12/23 (Wed)04:25:27 No.423190901 1.23 MB PNG : Anonymous (ID: EpiWJ44 04/12/23 (Wed) 04:26:46 No.423191021 >>423190901 (OP) # lol just double down >>423191325 # >>423201024 # >>423211765 # >>423215269 #

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Anon has a reunion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 69 KB PNG 04/12/23(Wed)11:56:12 No.72922168 >have a really close group of friends i met on TF2 >we play together for close to 10 years >group splits apart because life and other s--- >one of my old buddies message me years later >he's a full blown /pol/tard now >he keeps asking me if i agree on his theories about the jews >i play along, just to see where it goes >"glad to see you're still cool wanna join my new discord?" >the discord picture is hitler >say i'll join tomorrow and block him hours later when he's sleeping now im sad, he was a normal dude back in the day, sure we all had a kinda edgy sense of humor but still, what makes a guy turn into this?

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Anon needs jewish solutions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous WHEN THERE'S A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS IN THIS WEEK 43 KB JPG 04/12/23(Wed)06:58:43 No.14882862 >be me >struggle with perfectionism and prioritisation of tasks >submit an assignment 40 minutes late last night >assignments submitted after 1 min after the deadline get marked down to a maximum of 50/100 >this assignment is worth 50% of my grade as well >email tutor >tutor says there is nothing they can do >lightbulb moment >email tutor again saying "I was interstate" >"this city has 1.5 hour time difference" >"that is why I messed up" >tutor says this sounds like a genuine reason, is happy to grade assignment normally >"as long as you can send some kind of evidence that you were interstate" >sweats What would you do in this situation? I'm thinking fake plane ticket email but just wondering if that could backfire. 6 Replies i need the most jewish of suggestions /his/ View Thread

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An anon tip is provided. | /r/Greentext

>buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later

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Anon shits on 4chan instead of using his military genius to conquer nations | /r/Greentext

File: 1411924096398.png (356 KB, 917x483) WHO WOULD WIN? A Stick VS 1000 US Marines Anonymous (ID: FKONWLZ) 11/23/14(Sun)23:11:03 No.581035868581036028581036107 >>581036353 >>581036760 >>581036765 >>581037395581037482581037536581038831581038852581039313 >>581039339 Tough choice Anonymous (ID: TzbEUWVz) 11/23/14(Sun)23:17:28 No.581037053581037181581037278 >>581037393 All it is is one marine to break the stick SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F--- >>581037053 # then you have two stick stick win everytime Anonymous (ID: 554) 11/23/14(Sun)23:18.12 No.581037181581037370581037481 >>581039519

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Anon loves Velma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon, I'm here | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG > be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes >it said "nice" >Idon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Cheeky Oyster Anon Correction Required | /r/Greentext

Need more cheeky mobs in upcoming games gotta reeducate them all >>2966762 # smell like fish in here.jfif.jpg 167 KB JPG : Anonymous >>2966744 # I want to f--- an oyster. 03/04/23(Sat)13:37:14 No.2966762

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Anon discovers South Park | /r/Greentext

Cartman you dumbass You know nothing about Women I know enough To exploit it 113 KB JPG > Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

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Anon gets his answer | /r/Greentext

File: 1AA163EE-370E-4567-B375-E(...).jpg (398 KB, 1920x914) The Invasion Of Taiwan Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:44:45 No.57813074 [Reply] >>57813146 Hypothetically, how would a Chinese invasion of Taiwan play out? Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:50:09 No.57813146 >>57813074 (OP) # Like me banging ur mom

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