anon s--- himself | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: peepo-poo-poo.gif (849 KB, 498x498) Anonymous (ID: zYik4NAV) 04/10/23 (Mon)17:27:28 No.17431026 ► S------- your pants stories thread, I'll start > be me > 21 > yesterday > on my way to donate plasma for free money > on my way to the place I have to clench my cheeks to hold in a humongous dookie about to come out of my chocolate portal > arrive at plasma place > sprint to the bathroom > unload the most pasty s--- ever no paper towels > relief.png > look down > giant s--- smear in undies > try to wipe it out with s----- one ply toilet paper > smears more >f--- > fingers tear thru paper and get dookie all over my fingers > decide to just put a bunch of toilet paper in my underwear and put them back on > flush and go to wash hands > no soap > > try to wash poop hands with water as much as possible > go out and get it line for vital checks > i sit down and the qt3.14 worker girl smiles at me > she asks for my hand to do a needle finger prick > i offer her the same f------ s--- poop hand > there's still dookie on it and it smells > she puts her mask over her nose and wipes finger with alcohol wipe > go thru rest of vitals check > get deferred because my blood pressure is crazy high because I am a fat retard > get up and see horrible sight > toilet paper had fallen out of pants and was on the floor in the middle of the lobby > run out as fast as i can > s--- smears on my ass while i drive back home > cry in the shower it was rough

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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