Anon is 39 years old | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Steve Carell 40 Year-Old Virgin Le Than News 142 KB JPG : Anonymous >>182771852 18.5 years. : Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)21:48:28 No. 182771852 How far away are you? 04/08/23(Sat)21:49:14 No.182771874 15 months (OP) # : Anonymous >>182771852 (OP) # I was 13 years away at one point but avoided it by sheer luck. 04/08/23(Sat)21:50:24 No.182771910 04/08/23(Sat)21:51:42 No.182771952 1401198851357.gif 1.97 MB GIF

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anony attempts a hygiene. extremely homosexual content. | /r/Greentext

22 KB JPG >clean my a------ in the shower >dry it off with toilet paper after I get out >there's still s--- how

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Just. As. Planned. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)15:23:12 No.52832736 112 KB JPG >Tzeentch is losing >Tzeentch isn't achieving their objectives >Tzeentch's style of war isn't good >Chaos is a failure >this is a military failure What you wolfbois don't understand is that Tzeentch has developed a new style of war Beweglichertorpfostenkrieg called When you don't achieve objectives, simply change your objectives You cannot be defeated if you decide at the last second that it was part of your plan the whole time This is fifth generation warfare

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Anon has strayed far from God’s grace. | /r/Greentext

04/08/23(Sat) 14:35:10 No.72874221 >tfw have the chance to marry a cute, shy sumbissive muslim girl from my parents country but would rather try dating the 50th 4chan egirl who ghosted me Being on this site for a decade truly ruins a man. When I was 15, all I wanted was to own a small business and have a loving wife like my dad but here I am today 1 Reply : Anonymous 84 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous >>72874221 (OP) # ask for pictures of her naked body to confirm she's hot And ask her kinks as well, would she drink piss? 04/08/23(Sat) 14:43:31 No.72874329

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President Trump gets debriefed | /r/Greentext

File: trump.jpg (283 KB, 1240x775) AVEO presidential briefing >like about roswell and jfk and s--- >they give it to me straight >oswald shot JFK >military guys come into the room >say that this conversation never happened >itshappening.gif >f--- >9/11 was not an inside job >f--- Anonymous (ID: 4rC/TrpU 11/15/16(Tue)07:10:14 No.98627923 >>98628110 >>98628259 >january 21, 2017 >day after inauguration day >it's time for my first super classified >the roswell UFO was an experimental aircraft that crashed >f--- >they are for real >s--- >the CIA invented crack to wipe out the n------ >top f------ kek >there's only one thing left they talk about >the lizard people >they're real >waitwaitniggaholdupareyouforrealrightnow.webm >disappears in a puff of smoke >now i have to give a press conference I didn't sign up for this s---. >obama walks in >says he's one of them >but he and his people mean us no harm >yet >his eyes glow bright green and he flicks his tongue at me

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Anon should be more wiser | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 1650830746085.gif (655 KB, 460x426) O Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)19:07:26 No.57778781 >>57778969 >>57779112 5/2/6/3 Anonymous 04/08/23 (Sat) 19:15:22 No.57778845 File: 1629836939277.jpg (14 KB, 236x314) >>57778903 >>57778951 anybody on this board in the national guard or army reserve? considering joining, not really sure whether it's a good idea or not >Hey anime website help me make a major life choice

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Anon wastes his teenage years | /r/Greentext

SRS 89CEB712-830F-4B9C-9045-02392E6A09F1.jpg 28 KB JPG If u read this plz respond i need to know if I was alone >be me >pre teen >use to watch lots of Disney tv shows and diary of wimpy kid plus other young adult content >all teenagers I use to see as a kid looked so cool and awesome >thought that when I grew up my teenage years would be that cool as well >f------ bitches, doing drugs and other teen shenanigans >im now 19 and a few weeks away from being 20 >teenage years were nothing like tv shows or movies Does it get better after your teen years anons or is it down hill from here. I never had sex, no crazy stories and spent my days on internet

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Anon wants to buy a house | /r/Greentext

QiyPS1Qf #1, No. 54514165 4/8/23 11:39:37 AM 1678641440358445 JPG 550x450 51.7 kB "Don't trust what you see, even salt looks like sugar." >go see a house this morning >$420k asking >See next door neighbor while viewing back yard >Asks the realtor how much it's selling for >$420k she says >He laughs and says he bought his house for $200k 5 years ago >He shakes his head at the realtor and walks away >Realtor insist hard wood floors make the price worth it I f------ hate this place.

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Anon works at chick-fil-a | /r/Greentext

Anon is an arsonist Anonymous 19/04/02(Tue)21:46 No. 3421 [Reply] +42 P File 155423436523.jpg - (144.36KB, 1000x847, vZGYWfO.jpg) >be me >working at chick-fil-a >doing a promo where you get a free entree or a meal for looking like a cow (costume-meal, tshirt-entree) >been super busy >tired as f--- >finaly it cools down a bit >landwhale and her daughter come up, they order 2 #1 meals and diet (offcourse) cocke >give it to them for free >confusion.mp4 >say we "are doing a promo" and point to the sign >they walk away happy, oblivious to the fourth degree burn that just went down >mfw

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Anon has a wife | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PRERETTA CALDSEERT HET HEEVER GARDONE V.1 1041 04/07/23(Fri)12:40:27 No.57764358 >>57764369 # X14MdiE.jpg 1.77 MB JPG >>57764140 # I'm not joking around anon gwen is my wife!!!

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Anon plays airsoft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ASG with retards 252 KB PNG 04/08/23(Sat)21:20:49 No.72874705 > be me, 19yo 5'1 > no f------ team, go alone with bunch of retards > everyone laughs at my height at asg prep > i got new ar57 to test out > spent 8 hours making leaves n' s--- camo for it > packed 9 mags > jeeps arrive to pick us up > time passes > we arrive and split to 20v20 > game is in forest and some ruins > f------ snow everywhere > decide to hide n' wait for clueless retards > some f----- ran next to me with his anime skin m4a1 > whypeopledothat.jpeg > shoot him with whole f------ mag > he had no cover and half of it beat his ass (literally) > go through small hole in building > reload in empty room > can still hear his screams and crying > Imaowhataweakfaggot.wav > decide to camp in this hole for rest of the game > got 13 kills in timespan of hour being short is one of the best perks in asg

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Anon deals with abusive mother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITT How to deal with violents (...) 5 KB JPG 04/08/23 (Sat)23:12:28 No.72875829 >21 >Currently doing some pretty good studies >I am forced to live with my parents due to the high rent in my area >Mother completely crazy, screams, hits etc >Beta father who is constantly absent or just not interested and who vaguely always agrees with her What happened today >Be me >i'm taking a dump >Has a YT video on in the background >She screams like a dog to stop the video and the audio >I tell her she can ask politely and she doesn't need to yell for that kind of thing >She forces her way into the bathroom and tries to hit me >I tell her once, twice, three times to stop >She continues >I take her hand and twist her fingers as hard as I can >She screamed in pain >I'm in my room and it's been a long time since I felt this good

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Anon... likes Futurama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/16(Wed)19:45:58 No.27849641 I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. 24 KB GIF For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sex slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one.

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