Anon has a wife | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous PRERETTA CALDSEERT HET HEEVER GARDONE V.1 1041 04/07/23(Fri)12:40:27 No.57764358 >>57764369 # X14MdiE.jpg 1.77 MB JPG >>57764140 # I'm not joking around anon gwen is my wife!!!

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon plays airsoft | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ASG with retards 252 KB PNG 04/08/23(Sat)21:20:49 No.72874705 > be me, 19yo 5'1 > no f------ team, go alone with bunch of retards > everyone laughs at my height at asg prep > i got new ar57 to test out > spent 8 hours making leaves n' s--- camo for it > packed 9 mags > jeeps arrive to pick us up > time passes > we arrive and split to 20v20 > game is in forest and some ruins > f------ snow everywhere > decide to hide n' wait for clueless retards > some f----- ran next to me with his anime skin m4a1 > whypeopledothat.jpeg > shoot him with whole f------ mag > he had no cover and half of it beat his ass (literally) > go through small hole in building > reload in empty room > can still hear his screams and crying > Imaowhataweakfaggot.wav > decide to camp in this hole for rest of the game > got 13 kills in timespan of hour being short is one of the best perks in asg

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Anon deals with abusive mother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITT How to deal with violents (...) 5 KB JPG 04/08/23 (Sat)23:12:28 No.72875829 >21 >Currently doing some pretty good studies >I am forced to live with my parents due to the high rent in my area >Mother completely crazy, screams, hits etc >Beta father who is constantly absent or just not interested and who vaguely always agrees with her What happened today >Be me >i'm taking a dump >Has a YT video on in the background >She screams like a dog to stop the video and the audio >I tell her she can ask politely and she doesn't need to yell for that kind of thing >She forces her way into the bathroom and tries to hit me >I tell her once, twice, three times to stop >She continues >I take her hand and twist her fingers as hard as I can >She screamed in pain >I'm in my room and it's been a long time since I felt this good

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Anon... likes Futurama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/16(Wed)19:45:58 No.27849641 I used to have 50,000 posts on a f------ really weird, small, Futurama forum. There were only about 50 posters on the entire board. 24 KB GIF For some reason I literally roleplayed as Kif (the frog who was a slave to Zapp Brannigan) in every single f------ post. I remember that the other posters would say things like 'post your penis again for me Kif with a picture of Zapp and I would do it (after using photoshop to make my d--- green). I was basically a f------ sex slave for 50,000 posts. I remember on one occasion a girl came onto the board and I really liked her, but instead of talking to her like a normal human I tried to pick her up by writing an extensive, 1200 word post describing the backrub I gave to Zapp Brannigan. I hate that part of my life almost as bad as this current one.

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Anon questions a trade deal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be Russia >Convict some irrelevant woke black the female athlete for 9 months in prison for This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever 08/05/22(Fri)21:19:27 No.883351991 67 KB JPG smuggling drugs >Not her first time in the country either, w-- did she expect to happen >Be Biden >SenilePanic.jpg >Offer Putin the release of Viktor Bout in change for this Griner-woman >Viktor f------ Bout >The man known as the Merchant of Death, the dude that was the real life inspiration for the movie "Lord of War" How the hell is 9 months imprisonment for an idiotic black woman smuggling drugs the equivalent of a life sentence for one of the worst arms dealers of all time?

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Anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 3 KB JPG >the year is 2035 >cars have been banned >everyone rides bikes 03/26/23(Sun)13:25:59 No.1900037 >not richfags ofc, they still drive and there's nothing you can do about it >roads have been shrunk to build more microapartments >so you're stuck in (bike) traffic >bikes now require loicence plates >and to follow traffic laws >and to pay road taxes >and insurance >and to have a riding loicence >and there are bike speed cameras >you can barely afford this >your commute road is blockaded by generation ligma activists from the do-what-we-say-else-the- world-is-going-to-end-for-real-this-time ngo >"NOBODY NEEDS A BIKE, WALKING IS BETTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT" they shout >it starts raining 55 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon plays the guessing game | /r/Greentext

Cyb(OR)g !FQ5As2D/.o 04/01/15(Wed)19:08:40 No.17578453 >meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man.

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Anon regrets it all | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >do well on every other assignment, do absolute horse s--- on exams >want to be a pilot or even an astronaut >"sorry anon you dont have the eyes for that" >last resort 15 KB JPG 06/12/20(Fri)19:40:01 No.829860654 >be me, turning 19 soon >want to get a degree in some sort of IT field >want to enlist in the military >have flat feet (asymptomatic but i would be worried about them becoming symptomatic despite the improvements ive made since i first had them) >mfw this feels like the end and i have nothing else to do. those are the only fields i want to go into. i dont want to be a wagie nor a neet but it feels like ill be headed down one of those routes why did my parents f------ procreate? they claim to be prolife yet i need to suffer from their s----- genes. this isnt fair 6 Replies View Thread

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The telltale heart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heartbeat 41 KB PNG 12/05/22(Mon)15:35:52 No.71275834 Little story that im proud of >Be me >be born with the curse of anxiety >be like 8, s---'s is a problem so big that my parents can't ignore it >unable to speak to new kids or in front of the class >be 14 >decide to change >force myself to do everything that makes my heart go full speed >be 18, i did it, sorta, i can act calm but still im a nervous wreck >Be me now >studying to be a nurse >have to do a presentation in front of the class about anything for a s--- subject that no ones cares about but it's the last grade of it, so everyone is there. >there's a catch, whoever goes in front, will have a heartbeat monitor on >the day comes, and all girls that goes in front sees their heartbeat and go full panic mode, stuttering and stammering >"Your turn anon" >everyone sees my heartbeat, goes between 120- 150 >act so calm during the whole thing >i can actually see the shock faces of ppl whos paying attention and understands what's happening >i get a genuine applauses >teacher congratulates me >i feel so happy but i leave the classroom beacause im still a p---- >next day >girl: "Hey anon, you know this?" >"Yeah, i can explain it", acting cool with my kinda fake cool voice >"Hey anon, are you nervous now?" >".... Yeah" >Smiles at me and chuckles This was yesterday, and kinda felt good that people realized how much effort i put on social stuff and i wanted to share it with someone

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anons discuss the difference between reddit and 4chan game reviews | /r/Greentext

e: 1449820956231.png (89 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)14:03:03 No.633432745 ► >>633432836 >>633432890 >>633432956 >>633433049 >>633433151 >>633433590 >>633433846 >>633434120 >>633434651 >>633436203 >negative game review >"I wanted to like it, I really did" Anonymous 04/08/23(Sat)15:19:06 No.633436203 >>633432745 (OP) >4chan game review >"I wanted to hate it, I really did"

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anon uses google earth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/08/23 (Sat)06:02:52 No.72870186 >be me 9th grade with no friends >sit in the computer lab all day when i can and just look up random stuff on wikipedia and look at places with google earth >in a random geography class and sit in the back near the computers to avoid everyone >class was mostly african american so it was really loud all the time >just sit in the back to avoid it and go on google earth to look like im doing something important >eventually after getting picked on for never talking, one of the loudest guys in the class walks up to me on the computer and asks what im doing "uh its google earth, you can go like anywhere in the world" >guy gets the biggest smile ever and asks if he can use the computer >i let him on and he immediately zooms into Louisiana >random ass swamp town in the middle of nowhere >tell him how to use the street view to move around >he starts telling me about every street and house as he moves down, tells the names of all the people that live in every house >he get to a run down middle school and gets kinda quiet, looks at it for like 3 mins and seems like hes about to cry before he laughs then says thank you to me >day after day the other kids as to use the computer and eventually they are all full >ever kid just goes to their old house, looks around and tells me about it >after like 1 week im basically best friends with everyone in the class, dont get picked on anymore and they try to bring me into conversations and its actually really nice thanks google earth Google Earth >>72870219

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Anon and Terry the tard | /r/Greentext

- download.jpg (14 KB, 290x174) google iqdb wait >ohshit.bat >terry goes full tard >sprints at me >he screams a mighty war cry "HABALUUU" >oh s--- Anonymous 11/01/16(Tue)19:45:17 No.710193039 [4] [Reply] ill start off >Be me, 13, Jr high >gym class >all students are sitting in attendance rows on gym floor >we began warm up exercises. >notice terry tard struggling to do jumping jacks >make eye contact >tackled to ground by tardo >drools on me as he starts dry humping me >mfw >people laughing as i'm being r---- by terry the tard. >tard police wrestles him off me >terry is dragged away >scared for life.mp4 >we finish warmups >students are told to make teams of 8 for floor hockey >students sit on bleachers as the first 2 teams play >they finish their game >our team is called up next >we're playing terry the tard's team >terry boasts about being the best hocky player because his dad is Canadian >i play goalie >terry gains possession of the puck >slides the puck down the gym towards me >im ready >tard shoots puck at goal >pro skills engaged >puck blocked >terry prides himself in hockey and i just blocked his shot >tard rage activated >notagain.zip >tardo bitch slaps me with a hockey stick like the w---- i am >blood everywhere >class watches as i'm plumbed by retarded terry >tard police comes to the rescue >terry breaks the f------ jaw of the tard police >the teachers run in and are able to pull tardo off of me >my face looks like hiroshima >rushed to nurse and bandaged up >tard police and terry weren't seen for the rest of the school year lesson: don't piss off a f------ tard V

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Anon has the shakes | /r/Greentext

anonymous 45 KB GIF 04/08/23(Sat)07:54:13 No.72867942 >drunk for 5 days straight >arms are shaking even though I'm still drunk >2 days are lost already >will need to wait for my body to tell me the alcohol's clear >I've still got about 700ml of vodka

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