The juice is loose | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous I am the weapon 449 KB JPG 03/26/23(Sun)15:01:41 No.57625435 >stock piling firearms and ammunition >Blasting the following >400mgs test e E3D >200mg tren e/EOD >50mg Superdrol /ED >3IU HGH /EOD >Girlfriend broke up with me months ago >Job : Lost > Home : 90s 4runner >Snorting ketamine and cocaine >Destroying chipotle as my daily diet >Go out on dates with women out of my league by pretending I have money >Pound passable trannies if they don't give it up same day I have ascended from mere mortals and becoming a biological hormonal weapon

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon in the bathroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Me in the bathroom 13 KB JPG 03/26/23(Sun)00:08:33 No.896517916 >Be me >Be in bathroom >See man >See him pissing >Idea.jpg >Touch his penis >"That feel good?" >He looks disgusted and attempts to pull up his pants >"Shhh" I tell him "it will be done soon" >I slowly start grinding my hand up his c--- >Not long later he c--- a huge sticky c------ >Success.png

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Anon attends a barbeque | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 03/25/23(Sat) 23:30:05 No.72711372 >be me >today was a weird day >my boomer dad was having this bbq with his freemasons friends >it was fun at first >but then it went on, and on, and.... ON. >mf went from 12:00 am to literally 12:00 pm with these people >it was fun at first but then I got tired, and eventually annoyed at these people >not at "them" but at the fact I just couldn't have some free time at a saturday >eventually just slip away and go to my PC >play a bit >browse internet >eventually remember of this new things of chat Al >its fun, talk until I get capped >go to youtube, youtube recommends some mental stuff s--- >panic attack >make this s--- gt lol Is this where boomer spend all their energy in? In Saturday BBQs?

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Anon cannot afford 50 cents | /r/Greentext

225 KB PNG >in city center >need to use restroom >need 50 cents >am 10 cents short >start kindly asking strangers for them >everyone is extremely rude, some people straight up tell me to piss off >evntually just threaten some guy and take it by force Why is everyone such a f------ a------? And no, I didn't look homeless, I was wearing a suit without a tie : Anonymous 02/02/23(Thu)10:06:01 No.72065807 >>72065786 (OP) # uses a suit and cant afford a f------ 50cents fee Imao

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Mfw when anon bonds with his dad over greentexts | /r/Greentext

> be me > having breakfast with dad > he's looking at something on his phone > "hey anon, whats 'MFW'?" > tell him 206 KB PNG > ask him where he heard that > "oh, i'm just looking at this image on r/greentext" > bond with dad over greentexts > i love you dad feels good man

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forgot to rinse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG 2 Replies 06/25/21(Fri)00:52:39 No.857587849 >mom: why does the shampoo bottle smell like eggs and chlorine? View Thread

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Anon's Life Is Over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My 43 yo mom is suddenly pregn(...) 54 KB GIF 03/25/23(Sat) 20:58:45 No.72710661 >My mom asked me I was ok if she gave birth to a new brother Context: My pops divorced when I turned 18. I've lived with my mom ever since (Im 20) >Mfw when >No more tendies >No more neetdom >I'll actually have to be my brother's father figure >I'll need to get in the working force >My brother will be a bastard child It is over anons, right?

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Anon hates mayonnaise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HELLMANG 84 KB JPG SAMANT 03/10/23(Fri)15:18:29 No.19032650 >bland >unhealthy and mass produced product made of seed oil >even the "healthier" home made version is practically seed oil thickened >ruins sandwich with blandness >stinks >looks repulsive Seriously f--- mayonnaise

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Anon never got a choir gram | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITT: s--- memories 516 KB JPG 03/25/23(Sat)21:04:50 No.72707595 i was just struck with a s--- memory. myself. >highschool had a valentines tradition of "choir-grams" >students could pay for a choir- gram to be delivered to another on valentines >the choir students would then burst open the door in the middle of class, shout "CHOIR-GRAAAM", bring the recipient to the front of the room and serenade them with one of a selection of songs. afterwards they give them a note and usually a flower or something like that >most kids got at least one from either a significant other, someone confessing their love, an anonymous secret admirer, or even just their friends >well liked teachers would get them too >popular guys would always make a big show of being annoyed at how many choir-grams they's recieved and how they had to carry around so many flowers. >they'd loudly discuss with eachother how many they got and made bets as to who would have the most by the end of the day >because there were only seven periods in the day they frequently had multiple songs sung to them in the same class >i of course never recieved even one and quickly learned to stop hoping or even turning my head when the door opened >one year i come home and mom asks me if i got a choir-gram >no >she's mad. tells me she bought one to be given to me anonymously i'm so glad that didn't go through. i wouldn't have been able to bear the disapointment if i ever learned that me secret admirer was just my mom feeling sorry for me. they shouldn't have taken her money but maybe she was being pushy. 16 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anons go to anons anonymous | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 57 KB JPG >sit back down Who's next? 4 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous >>72709755 (OP) # hi, i am Anon and i give live advice of topics i have no experience about. ENTJ 03/25/23(Sat)20:32:28 No.72709755 >look around the room at everyone in r9k >stand up >"Hi, I'm OP. I pretend to be my ex on messaging apps and get off to the random messages from guys wanting to f--- her." GREBLAST : Anonymous hi im anon and i use chatgpt as a therapist View Thread 03/25/23(Sat)21:07:37 No.72710136 Anonymous 03/25/23(Sat)21:09:34 No.72710156 407 KB JPG >>72709755 (OP) # hi i'm ENTJ, i pretend to be a massive gigachad who f---- e-girls and larps as a mercenary in a third world country but in reality i'm an indian manlet who looks 24 KB JPG like he's 60 03/25/23(Sat)21:11:32 No.72710176 i also simp for vore, an e-girl who's asexual, a single mom and refuses to even acknowledge me 03/25/23(Sat)21:17:08 No.72710239 >>72709755 (OP) # Good evening, I'm anon. I bought women's stockings and wore them while masturbating to sissy hypno p---.

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Anons discuss magic sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous - it's only for one night - she will magically consent to anything you want, or if you prefer she will try and fail to fight you. - she will forget everything the day after and there will be absolutely no detectable consequence (no risk of pregnancy, no physical evidence of your actions) 1.02 MB JPG 03/25/23(Sat)20:49:46 No.72709951 If you could f--- any woman in the world who would you choose? The rules - she must be biological (can't choose a woman born with a penis) : Anonymous >>72709951 (OP) # Probably f--- that autistic anime obssessed manic pixie girl I had a crush on in highschool but never asked out. I wonder how she's doing. >>72710172 # Anonymous >>72709951 (OP) # your mom oregano 03/25/23(Sat)20:51:01 No.72709966 03/25/23(Sat)20:51:02 No.72709967 001010010 400-54.00 N 70700060

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Anon codes his way to prosperity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sldl6Bnx 6 minutes ago 54323823 Data science jobs are the meta desu > Barely changes YoY, statistics remains the same as it was back when I learned it in uni > Mostly automated, literally just click a few buttons and "run the analysis" while I sit on my ass > Only real work is having to explain s--- to people, but chatgpt writes the first draft for my reports > Meanwhile actual coders have to learn new s--- all the time, working till 8pm to find that illusive bug in their code

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Anon is straight (real) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)08:58:34 No.30206710 image_2023-03-23_214643673.png 2.04 MB PNG freepik >mom raised me to be a cute housewife >came out as ftm, got hrt, pass perfectly >move out for the first time to live with mtf going thru a divorce >roommate tells me her ex is transphobic and crazy >roommate watches youtube and plays videogames all day while i keep the house clean >i became a househusband : Anonymous freepi we've done it we've come full circle in the most progressive way possible >>30206933 # 03/24/23(Fri)09:00:09 No.30206740 >>30206710 (OP) # this is literally just an normal heterosexual couple but with opposite hormonal balances : Anonymous 03/24/23(Fri)09:04:20 No.30206819 >>30206710 (OP) # Tell her to get off her lazy butt and contribute towards the cleanliness of the house. If she isn't as neat and detail oriented as you, she can at least do basic s--- like dishes and vacuuming. Roommates are expected to do their part, that's probably prt of why she's divorced. >>30207494 # >>30207619 #

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