Problem??? | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

1.4k Anon is gay : Anonymous 38 KB JPG 49 Comments 7.5k Anon is straight Anonymous 61 KB JPG Posted by u/PM_ME_YOUR_TAINT_PIC 1 day ago Problem? 133 Comments >be me (man) >love fingering and eating out fems p------ till they squirt >love feeling fems blast their hot juices all over my face and down my throat >still identify as gay Problem? Award Share 03/18/23(Sat) 18:47:29 No.30123061 Award Save 03/29/21(Mon)20:12:28 No.19791572 >be me (man) >love jerking and sucking off dudes cocks til they c-- >love feeling guys blast their hot load all over my face and down my throat >still identify as straight Share Save

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is Married | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)19:44:02 No.72633057 Current marriage deal: Born male: >go from 12-35, school, working, saving, and make sleep with 1-2 a few times, usually markedly less attractive than you are and be ignored by all prime age women. >Now when you're 35 and the women are 28-40 you're supposed to buy one a 500k start house, 35k ring, 60k car, then spend the rest of your life giving them 90% of your income, taking orders, chores and you might have sex once a month. Women: >Spend 12-30 having unlimited sex with men vastly more attractive than you are, partying, getting treated like a celebrity, free flights, clothing, food, rides, constant entertainment, have sex with dozens of men whenever you want. >When your looks fade, skin wrinkles, vagina loosens and the top 10% of men are no longer interested in jetting you around and f------ your holes in luxury apartments and cars find a beta who's been waiting his entire life and "settle" for a half a million dollar home and all needs taken care of for the rest of your life. >*If the betas aren't to your liking because you're so used to roman sex parties on yachts and having caviar stuffed in your p---- you can also accuse one of the boomer chads of "r---" retrospectively and settle for 7 figures in cash. pic related, what she looked like when she wasn't interested in you, and what she looks like now she's ready to settle down.

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Anon need to Get godsplained | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/23 (Mon)06:52:59 No.72639724 >I am the lord your god. And you, My child are my intelligent design. >btw don't forget to brush your teeth or else your mouth will deteriorate from bacteria >btw don't forget to give your pathetic flesh body daily maintenance with a bath or else you'll get sick or something >btw don't forget to be born with the right genetics or else you won't be able to breed >btw don't forget to run away from apex predators I placed on this world cause your body wouldn't stand a chance in combat 418 KB PNG >btw make sure you don't contract this disease or else your body will shut down cause I didn't make your immune system strong enough >speaking of, this tiny little bug and microscopic organism could ruin your life under a week >btw don't forget to maintain a healthy weight or else you'll die from enjoying my creations (food) too much >etc. why is god like this?

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Anon is on a date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 96 KB JPG 03/20/23 (Mon)04:44:44 No.72638777 >go on date with girl >first date ever at 26 >we talked and laughed and even went to watch a movie >didnt expect to get anything out of it just trying to be comfortable talking to girls >after I drive her back home she sits quietly in my car and doesn't say a word >feels a little awkward and I just say "uh ok then, that was fun, see you later" >she says yeah, gets out, and I speed away Was I supposed to walk her to her door or something? It was 2 in the morning. Are there videos on how to start physical contact in a sexual way with a girl on dates? I swear I'm too autistic to do anything, I don't even know how to kiss. 41 Replies / 36 Images View Thread

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Anon buys flavored condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I might be getting married to (...) 03/20/23 (Mon)08:17:25 No.72640355 515 KB JPG >fiancee has always been sort of dumb, did poorly in high school (we've been together for six years, since junior year) >small (4'9) and chubby but with b------- and hips >bought a big box of flavored condoms on Amazon since we recently ran out >ordered strawberry flavored since usual kind weren't available >over the past week, she's been complaining about stomach pains >has sudden horrible gas and bloating >I did some investigating and found out she's been eating around four condoms a day, just chewing them the best she can and then swallowing them whole >thought they were gummy candies for some f------ reason >doctor said for her to just keep drinking water and to go to the hospital if they don't pass in a couple days 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a Midnight Snack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous *Saves your sleep* : Anonymous 2 RE 03/19/23(Sun)19:41:35 No.70330408 s-1500.jpg 32 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)19:43:39 No.70330426 1653271230220.jpg 158 KB JPG P/HIP HOP VINYE >>70330408 (OP) # >can't pick your boogers for a midnight snack That's a tradeoff I don't think I'm willing to make. >>70330446 # >>70330449 # >>70330457 #

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

File: c3f.jpg (32 KB, 480x454) ☐ I f----- it up with my best friend bros... Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)19:41:34 >Be me >19yo male >My bestie 19yo female (girl) (biologicalwoman) >Super close friends >We were hanging out >I accidentally drop some coins >She immediately bends down to pick them up >Hands them to me >OUT OF NOWHERE I say "Good Girl" >Immediate regret >F--- F--- F--- F--- >We stare at each other for 30 long seconds >I notice her face turning red >I have no idea what to do >Immediately start talking about something else ignoring what just happened

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Anon ponders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)08:07:11 No.73479678 I know you guys always say that the blackpill is b------- incel ideology and not realistic but I often genuinely wonder just how better my dating life would be if I was a tall white guy with nice hair

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Anon tries Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HOW DOES HE DO THAT? 20 KB PNG 03/19/23(Sun)21:41:43 No.72637750 >use Reddit >constant unfunny memes about trans rights and s--- >so annoying that I become transphobic >go onto 4Chan >constant threads dedicated to hating trannies >somehow meet an actual trans woman here >they're really chill >start to think about it >wouldn't have a problem sucking c--- if the c--- was on something that looked like a woman Moral of the story: memes that actively support trans rights are cancer 03/19/23(Sun)21:53:52 No.72637853 : Anonymous >>72637750 (OP) # The moral of the story in this case being that reading 4Chan makes you want to suck cocks?

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Anon trusts what is essentially a BuzzFeed quiz to tell him how smart he is. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 147 KB JPG 09/27/21 (Mon)05:55:21 No.863896215 > Woke up > Bored bed. > Got the Bright idea to do an IQ test > "some of this questions are difficult" > Start rounding up my answers or going with my gut feeling. > Last few questions about shapes and colors make sense > must be where the creative type like myself come out as geniuses > Score 63IQ. Am I Retarded /b/?

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Worm breedin | /r/Greentext

>>53865529 (OP) >work at a worm breeding farm >work in the finance department >Do my usual walk around with investors >talk production forecast b------- with them >young guy swerves forklift into overhang door >blades stab the doors >door completely falls apart >fork lift speakers blasting Limp bizkit >keep rolling rolling rolling >$40,000 in damages

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That’s impressive Anon. It would’ve taken me hours to plan out a convo killer that effective | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous COMATER 472 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)19:12:32 No.70847805 >go to college >Study to be mortician >Chemistry class >Girl sit next to me is talkative to me >"Anon what are you studying to be" >"Mortician" >"Cool I want to be {insert profession}, why do you want to work with the dead anyway" >Autism.batch >"Because I'm a virgin" >S--- s--- f--- >"Oh.. Kay...." >Doesn't talk to me the rest of class

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Anon gets forced to be part of TikTok video | /r/Greentext

s8ILJCWF #1, No. 54211621 3/19/23 4:05:04 PM A83E6552-95F3-43B0-BD36-BDCF93D4299B JPG 906x799 66.9 kB >be me >at my wagie job doing sheet metal fab >spending the last 5 hours grinding away at a project and having issues with quality control on the piece >sweaty and frustrated >look like s--- because I didn't shave since I didn't have time and haven't gotten a hair cut lately >suddenly all of the office stacies come out to shoot a tik tok video about work being done in the shop >they do stupid dances with me in the background trying to work >it gets posted and gets 100k views because our marketing director has a big ass and is featured front and center >all top comments either thirsting about her or commenting that I look homeless and depressed >hr calls me into office after about being more engaged in viral marketing and my boss and all of the office girls want me to do this dance to this song clip; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SnNVJVdqo8 (Peter Griffin Happy Happy Happy meme 10 Hours) [642:24] with the girls >say it will counteract the current comments about me and that I'm basically forced to do it tomorrow morning How do I get out of this wagie humiliation ritual bros? I can't quit without risking defaulting on my loans and losing family land I've been working at paying off for years.

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