Anon is based | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 115 KB JPG 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.87437280C Worth it >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's obvious his wife cheated >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is sick | /r/Greentext

EAPOLIS 4804 ov Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)09:18:40 No.72465444 >fever at 100 feeling dizzy af >gf says shes horny >tell her I am sick multiple times and cannot move >gf starts getting all dolled up randomly >says she is going out with friends >posts on her story that she is with her guy friend >so sick cannot even get mad >sleep till noon >gf not home and wont answer my texts or calls I hate women bros. >>72465477 >>72465639 >>72465702 Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)09:21:54 No.72465477 ► >>72465529 >>72465444 (OP) rip on the trips of truth. immediately dump her and mssg whichever one of her friends seems the most desperate.

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anon dislike YouTube commentator | /r/Greentext

Some Ordina Gamers The Sonic Creator Has Been Arrested... 13:26 SomeOrdinaryGamers 286K views • 14 hours ago Anonymous 03/05/23 (Sun)20:24:57 No.72457108 ► >>72457121 >>72457130 YouTube commentators are the most insufferable people on the Internet ☐ Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:31:11 No.72457174 | >>72457108 (OP) >Be Pajeet >Makes youtube commentary >Have outlandish retarded take >Makes money >Be you >Cries and whines about X thing is not true >Cries and whines on 4chan and plebbit >Makes no money

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Quoth the raven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 03/04/23 (Sat) 07:48:41 No.72445403 >walk outside my flat this morning >hear someone call me a cuck >turn around and look to see who said that >nobodys there >hear the same voice >cuck cuck >look up >its f------ picrel what the f---

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Anon Spitting lowkey | /r/Greentext

I only do this late at night/early morning when there's no traffic. Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)00:21:29 No.26267969 F7E775C5-56AE-42F6-B665-D534CEEC17F2.jpg 386 KB JPG >>26267868 (OP) # >WEEWOOWEEWOO DO YOU KNOW HOW I-L-L-E-G-A-L THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU JUST PULLED WAS? YOU F------ GOD DAMN M-----------. YOU COULDVE F------ KILLED MY WIFES BF'S BIRACIAL DAUGHTER. THINK ABOUT THE HECKIN SAFETY OF OTHERS YOU FREAKING CRIMINALINO!!!!!!!!!!!! >that'll be $500 and 3+hours of your time btw kthxbai

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It was the devil!!!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)20:58:27 No.72373689 5ef09ad285600a6a844f5361.jpg 372 KB JPG humans are so funny. they kill animals every day but when it happens to them IT'S DA DEVIL AND HIS DEMONS WAGING A SPIRITUAL WAR OMG Imao so so funny to me

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Anon wants to fuck his turtle | /r/Greentext

File: 1648955740175271tm1648955(...).jpg (69 KB, 949x842) O Feels Thread Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:19:31 No.72456857 >>72456920 >>72457246 >>72458118 >Tfw your pet turtle will never become an anime girl >Tfw she will never thank you for taking care of her and feeding her >Tfw she will never cuddle with you >Tfw she will never go to school >Tfw people will never,istake her shell for a backpack >> Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:28:50 No.72456920 >>72456857 (OP) Please don't f--- your turtle anon □ Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:09:36 No.72457246 >>72456857 (OP) That's Tank and this is a Barney thread.

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NOOOO! my ARMy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DLLdFm2C 4 hours ago 1677945516943822.gif (353.9 KB, 500x491) 17168829 > be ARM > invented in 1985 > used only in one line of computers computer built by Acorn > they sold poorly but were amazing computers > spends the next 34 years in mobile devices and microcontrollers > nobody cared > apple decides to use ARM > apple creates nothing revolutionary or amazing > itoddler child molesters convince themselves that the "entire industry" will move to ARM > ~3 years later.. absolutely f------ nothing happened > industry had a laugh and continued on making machines with CPUs that aren't f------ s--- as ARM > apple still can't get more than 20% market share after existing as a company since the mid 1970s amazing progress, itoddlers. maybe by 2050 you'll have 30%? my sides.

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Anon's girlfriend thinks fumos are cringe | /r/Greentext

04/29/21(Thu)00:57:22 No.34494857 My girlfriend called my fumos "hentai stuffed animals". When I tried to explain that Touhou isn't a hentai and explain that Reisen isn't a normal rabbit, she is a moon rabbit who deserted the Lunar Defense Corps during the war of 1969 she didn't even care and said that was cringe. Should I kill myself? 1.12 MB JPG Anonymous >>34494862 # >>34494936 # >>34495099 # >>34495147 # >>34495279 # >>34495592 # >>34498263 # >>34507304 # >>34511682 # >>34527612 #

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anon hacks the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 232 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)19:59:45 No.72456927 > inherit fair amount of cash > buy s----- house which has been converted into 5 small flats > live in one, rent others out > free money for life, property is still entirely mine, get paid for doing nothing > choose tenants carefully > 18-23yo females, crappy jobs, no money, always broke > don't tell them i own the place, pretend i pay rent too, tell them i'm a graphic artist... never made a penny from it in reality > every month they freak out about not having enough to pay their mystery landbaron > i occasionally come to the rescue, offer to pay part/all of their rent that month, as long as i get it back > immediately get given it back without them knowing it, then double when they repay > hero > no longer undersexed Is it true love, /r9k/?

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Does anyone have the story of anon going on autopilot for a week after taking some drugs/medication? At the end he said that he was a crane operator or something similar | /r/Greentext

File: gettyimages-1133279591.jpg (284 KB, 1600x1067) 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:42:33 No.178661609>>178661988 >>178662195 >>178662219 >>178662344 Anonymous >Be tiny French town in the 1980s >Garfield phones wash up on the shore >No one knows where they're from >35 years pass, Garfield phones constantly wash ashore >Finally locate a shipping container on the bottom of the ocean that's wedged between rocks and is leaking Garfield phones >Government says it's cheaper to let the phones wash ashore and remove them than to remove the crate >Town just has to deal with Garfield phones for the foreseeable future Anonymous 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:57:36 No.178661988 ► >>178666095 >>178661609 (OP) # I hate Monays

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Anon likes fat girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 48 KB JPG >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game Tbf my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Chad material.

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Anon drives home from work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)20:38:48 No.72459486 >be me, driving home from work late at night >need to fart >turns out its not a fart, its nasty ass diarrhea >oh well, ill be home soon >get pulled off by police like 30 secs later >cop tells me to roll down my car window >instantly gets hit with the smell of liquid s--- >asks w-- is that smell, i tell him the truth - i s--- myself > he looks at me with a disgusted look on his face, tells me to go >oh well, ill be home soon and at least its pretty late >park in front of apartment, 4 neighbors are sitting on the porch for whatever goddamn reason >they act like they didnt notice but i know they did >run home asap to clean my s--- ridden jeans Im pretty sure the whole building knows i s--- myself, everyone is acting strange and awkward when they see me. Also, i still have diarrhea

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