Anon gets mogged by a wizard | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1656347327551.gif (1.06 MB, 400x224) O Should mages be banned from the gym? Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)09:36:41 No.70120037 >Me, a strong and healthy 6'9 warrior working out my muscles in the bodybuilding aisle >A group of manlet mages come giggling and start "working out" next to me >One necromancer from the group brags about his 6p18 deadlift >He conjures spirits to help him lift >I laugh and point this out to him >He says it still counts because the spirits are dead >Druid says he wants to try my exercice, I mog the s--- out of that skinny vegan f----- >He turns into a f------ bear and overhead presses my deadlift 1RM >Then see the wimpy wristlet illusionist wizard "materialize" another 2 plates each side for his deadlift >Try to get external validation by pointing this out to the other warriors passing by >No one else disbelieves his illusion >I storm to the showers in a fit of rage >Just before I can rinse myself the f------ demonologist summons succubuses and makes them drain my daily gains and transfer them to him. I hate these wizards and their fake gains so much. >> Anonymous 03/01/23 (Wed)09:38:15 No.70120059 ► >gym tulpamancer always has a spotter It's not fair bros, I never get a spot >> Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)09:42:03 No.70120105 File: 1656517586050.gif (2.56 MB, 1200x675) >Gym chronomancer ask how many sets I have left >"2 bro, won't take long" >He speeds up my reps and thus reduces time under tension >Make minimal gains and I am obligated to leave the bench after 2 sets I HATE MAGES SO MUCH IT'S UNREAL ► >>70120150 >>70120202 >>70120332 >>70120422

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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I‘m fu*ked guys! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 91 KB JPG 02/04/21(Thu)22:18:34 No.62172469 >tfw invited a girl over and unironically showed her my meme frog folder

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Anon demands an explanation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)16:47:45 No.29843921 Study finds "strong" correlation between online game cheating and transgender self-identification "Perhaps the strangest correlate we've found" News by Wesley Yin-Poole, Deputy Editor Updated on 13 November 2020 Video game cheating has been around for as long as video games. But here's a headline you probably haven't heard before: cheating in games means you're less likely to cheat yourself where gender is concerned. The classical cultural image of the online game cheater is an antisocial male getting his laughs by ruining game sessions. According to a study performed by the University of Munich, that stereotype couldn't be more wrong. "The principle of rebellion against game rules is also extensible to rebellion against societal gender rules," commented Dr. Reinhard Pekrun. "Or perhaps it comes down to fantasy. The desire to present one's self as a skilled competitor is adjacent to the desire to present one's self as a beautiful woman or man. Between cheaters and transpeople there is also a common element of resistance to scorn, and, speaking inversely, an instinct for these often-maligned people to enact revenge through video game cheating." 17851751-31F2-410F-8F33-6E2A770E80CD.jpg 150 KB JPG Tranners, explain yourselves

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Anon tricks girl with flawless logic | /r/Greentext

I'm in a dilemma /b/. ami a bad person? >be me >be 18 >at 8/10 friend's house >watching some s----- adam sandler movie >girl with bouncy boobs on screen >"Anon, I wish I had boobs like that" >hereismychance.jpeg >"Why u can, don't u know the trick? >"What trick" >"If ur boobs are sucked regularly, they grow large." >"I don't think dat's true anon" >"yeah? why do u think pornstars have huge boobs?" "Idk, those are fake i guess" >"why would anyone pay to see fake boobs?" >"oh, never thought of dat" at this point I didn't know how to ask her to let me suck dem t------ >"same is for guys as well, the more their d---- are sucked, the larger their penis" >"what? really?" >letsdothis again.jpeg >"why do you think pornstars have such huge penis? And why do guys want to get blown all the time?" >"oh, now it all makes sense anon" >"how about we help each other out. it's a win-win" >"yes, right now? >holyshit.jpeg this carried on for 4 days and i got 7 BJs before she found out i was lying. Now she won't talk to me. does that make me a bad person /b/? Anonymous (ID: WS/G7efD) 10/31/14(Fri)16:02:48 No.576811869 no, she was a dumb slut for believing that s---

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Anon and the cum box | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)15:03:09 No.41713546 32 KB JPG >keep putting my c-- napkins in a cereal box >start f------ the box and c------ into it like a fleshlight >starts to get soaked with rotten c-- and looks disgusting so i stop f------ it >still c-- into it from a distance and keep jamming c-- napkins in for months >cleaning my room earlier today >decide to throw it out >realize how heavy, compressed, and solid it is now, a solid brick of c-- napkins >manage to tear it out of the box >literally had to stomp on it to break it into two pieces and it won't flush down the toilet >trash is full and no one else is home so i decide it is the right time to burn it >put it on an old car hood in my backyard and light it on fire and smoke a c-- while it burns >entire neighborhood smells like burned c-- now

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anon wonders what JK rowling was thinking when she wrote this controversial harry potter scene | /r/Greentext

le: 1650081877331026.jpg (85 KB, 657x480) Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)11:15:30 No.181196405 >>181196420 >>181196425 >>181196948 >What's the matter Harry? >...Harry? >H-Harry! HARRY STOP! W-wai >...ahh...ah...ah... >Ohh... good... ness... >Harry...h-harry...HARRY! >y-you came inside... >You... YOU BETTER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! Or else so help me Harry James Potter I will sit on your face until you learn your lesson! What was J.K. Rowling smoking while she wrote this?

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Anon wonders if his friends would grief for him | /r/Greentext

02/26/23(Sun)18:48:44 No.72372946 My childhood "friends" won't go to my funeral once I die. Maybe their parents will do it, since some of them are friends with my parents. But my own "friends"? Nah, they will hear I died, they will shrug and just keep doing whatever they were doing in that moment. Some other friends will never know I died because nobody will tell them. So bassically, nothing I ever did or said will matter. I will probably kill myself soon. And no "friend" will ever care. I haven't talked to them for like 7 years. But I keep dreaming about them every God damn night. I keep thinking about them. Why can't I move on? : Anonymous you can easily return to the past but no one is there anymore 119 KB JPG

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anon is Venezuelan | /r/Greentext

File: 1677555362722250.png (925 KB, 760x1086) Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)13:20:31 No.72407422 [Reply] Im 15 cm and pretty thick yet i still feel small as f--- Cant imagine the pain people with less than me go through Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)13:21:00 No.72407426 >im 15 cm bros a bedbug Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)13:40:12 No.72407556 >>72407581 >>72407426 Where the f--- you live n---- O Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)13:44:08 No.72407581 File: beetle.jpg (37 KB, 500x500) >>72407556 >>72407556 venezuela n----

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Anon doesn’t understand girls | /r/Greentext

601 KB JPG and shamed like one Anonymous Am I the only one who understand how girls can't can walk out dressed like this in public & not be asking for it? Why dress like a slut, if you don't want to be treated >>35175420 # 02/27/17(Mon)14:41:22 No.35175116 >>35175089 (OP) # but they are asking for it just not from you

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Anon fucks up big time | /r/Greentext

/v/ - Video Games Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:06:01 No.459443806 >>459444131 >>459444212 >>459444351 >>459444487 >>459444502 >>459444553 >>459444685 >>459444879 >>459444890 >>459444905 >>459445053 >>459445313 >>459445493 >>459445682 >>459446376 >>459446550 >>459447064 >>459447101 >>459447328 >>459447352 >>459447668 >>459441153 >used to walk home from the bus stop every day with a cute tomboy in highschool and we got relatively close >she signed my yearbook at the end of senior year, but I never bothered to look at it >never saw her again after high school >looked back over my yearbook for s---- and giggles after about 10 years, turns out she left her phone number and a message saying that she wanted to hang out with me in the summer and to keep in contact I f----- up ANGRY WELSH NOISESS at a V Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:09:31 No.459444212 File: 1371254366387.png (30 KB, 341x317) Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:19:58 No.459445313 ► File: Angry Seiba.png (608 KB, 1162x808) - I al daye 00 SAMAN for A A LIVE You are not f-----. OF Here tip WERDE Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:31:53 No.459446550 >>459446673 >>459446692 >>459446737 >>459446761 >>459446776 >>459446813 >>459446862 >>459446971 >>459447026 >>459447062 >>459447064 >>459447165 >>459447260 >>459447328 >>459447352 >>459447453 >>459447507 >>459447545 >>459447553 >>459447571 >>459447668 >>459447674 >>459447806 >>459447945 >>459447965 >>459448105 >>459448114 >>459448194 >>459448212 >>459448463 >>459448501 >>459448573 >>459448591 >>459448691 >>459448714 File: Untitled.jpg (2.03 MB, 4032x3024) >>459443806 >>459446550 WHY DID YOU POST THIS IT HURT LESS TO READ WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS FAI DELETE THIS NOW >>459443806 HOW DO YOU F--- UP THIS BADLY YOU TROGLODYTE, YOU HAD THE CHANCE I WILL NEVER F------ GET AND YOU F------ NUKED IT >>459445493 I misremembered a couple of the details since its been a while, but here BREAKING NEWS 15:38 АААААААААААААААААААААААААААААААА >>459443806 F--- did not f--- up. I'm so glad we parked next to each other! Every morning on my way to school I look forward to walking in with you! I'm also really happy we had economics we will have to, hang out sometime this summer text mes M You could not have f----- up. This s--- is beyond regular f------ up. Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:41:08 No.459447571 ► > File: 1256614531835.png (78 KB, 374x252) You f----- up so hard that you went all the way around and are nov on the opposite side. Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:21:45 No.459445493 ► >>459446550 >>459443806 >>459444502 no you didnt AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Was she cute? Adm het w Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:36:37 No.459447064 >>4594472 File: 04e810b9-1871-4c9a-bf39-5(...).jpg (69 KB, 662x610) in the ce you ga >>459443806 >>459446550 It's been some time since I was this mad. by wh Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)20:11:02 No.459450737 ► File: 1554038483573.png (150 KB, 499x499) CHI >>459443806 >>459446550 АААААААААААААА >>459446550 I don't even have words. The madman wasn't bullshiting and just made me want to go hard drinking. Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)20:24:44 No.459452219 ► File: Hellboy-beer.jpg (27 KB, 340x306) Anonymous 07/2 INTO >>459446550 this is a f----- on an unprecedented scale no words can describe how unfathomably, File: 1460056942333.png (345 KB, 498x568) >>459446550 I have the urge to kill myself just reading this Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you. incomprehensibly F----- this is jesus h christ this belongs in a f------ textbook Avitus 731% MAD mi Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:36:37 No.459447062 ► 13-30 KABA CHURCH 1&2 Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:08:47 No.459444131 ▸ File: 1552354040136.jpg (30 KB, 561x421) >>459446550 This is an elaborate joke right? right? 味味A >>459446550 She's probably happily married now, maybe even has kids. Girls like that go fast, the only ones usually left on the market are emcels with no personality. It's for the best though. Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:54:44 No.459449054 File: Avitus.png (97 KB, 400x355) Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)19:17:16 No.45944505 Man, this thread is just making me sad. >>459443806 Damn son, you blew it. >>459443806 Jesus christ anon, that hurts my soul >>459446550 I CANNOT TOLERATE IT ANY LONGER Damn. How can you live with such mistake? I'd have searched for her immediately after seeing that message. Maybe there's still time. >>459446550 I AM GOING TO KILL YOU F------ N----- I AM IN ABSOLUTE RAW F------ AWE AT HOW ONE MAN CAN BE SO I HARDLY HAVE A REACTION IMAGE THAT CAN F------ DESCRIBE HOW MAD I AM, JESUS F------ CHRIST GENUINELY KILL YOURSELF. YOU LITERALLY HAD EVERYTHING SET OUT TO YOU ON A GOLDEN PLATTER AND YOU F------ BLEW IT ALL. F--- YOU. 100% Nuclear DOWN TONIGHT WHY? Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)20:12:43 No.459450913 ► ABSOLUTELY F------ RETARDED AND OBLIVIOUS >>459443806 It's been an hour and I'm still f------ enraged. God f------ damn it. Anonymous 04/21/19(Sun)20:27:35 No.459452520 ► I though I could walk this off and beat my d--- to forget about this but NO I'm too f------ second hand angry. Jesus christ I haven't been this upset about something so petty in MONTHS. Maybe more than a few years.

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Anon has a Selena Gomez sighting | /r/Greentext

File: 1677225481051361.jpg (156 KB, 1170x1261) Anonymous 02/24/23 (Fri) 22:15:14 No.181024833 >>181024854 >>181024868 >>181024928 >>181024978 >>181025030 >>181025979 >>181026946 >>181027202 >>181027239 >>181027964 I heard selena gomez went into a restaurant, and ate everything in the restaurant, and they had to close the restaurant

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Anon browses r/atheism | /r/Greentext

File: 1677567715430332.png (70 KB, 860x850) Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue) 18:57:10 No.72399414 ► >be me >atheist >never lost an internet debate with a dumb religitard >97 year old great grandmother is dying of cancer >visit her one last time in the hospital >family gathered around her deathbed >she says "at least I get to be with my husband again" >outrageous >tell her that the concept of heaven and hell are made up fairy tales to keep people in line and that she's going into the ground just like everyone els >she dies >family won't talk to me anymore >not invited to her funeral Christfags and their silly fantasies BTFO'd once again. >> Anonymous 02/28/23 (Tue)18:58:14 No.72399426 ► christards btfo and on suicide watch Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)19:09:19 No.72399496 ► THIS MONKEYS GOING TO HEAVEN

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Anon goes to the zoo. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)16:24:55 No.72407127 >be 6 years old >mom took me to the zoo for the first time >was super excited to see all the animals >saw a sign that said "don't feed the animals" 28 KB JPG >thought it meant don't feed them bad food >decided to share my sandwich with the monkeys >mom looked away for a second >next thing I know, the monkeys have stolen my sandwich >I start crying and mom scolds me for not listening to the sign >fast forward 20 years >still salty about the monkeys stealing my sandwich >vow to never trust a monkey again >go to the zoo and see the same sign >laugh to myself and buy a hotdog instead >monkey starts motioning for me to throw it to him >give him a little piece >monkey gives me a little thumbs up >guess not all monkeys are bad after all

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