Bamboozled | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Overloaded Rift. 6h I wish I had never heard of GME Loss p--- ... I can't get the post to upload, but I just woke up to see I'm down $74,000 because of this cultist s---. I have only a few thousand left. Years of work are meaningless now when last week I could have been able to plan the rest of my life on 130k. F--- gamestop, f--- Robinhood and their s----- manipulation, f--- reddit and their cultist mentality for the stock, and f--- me for thinking I was part of anything other than burning a fuckton of my hard earned money. I want to f------ myself. I'm so angry at everything right now. What am I supposed to tell my family? Anonymous (ID: B38dgE60) 02/21/23 (Tue) 10:06:51 No.53796723 >>53796794 >>53796811 >>53796817 >>53796992 >>53797124 >>53797144 >>53797317 >>53797352 >>53797353 >>53797430 >>53797814 >>53798005 >>53798129 >>53799337 >>53799357 >>53800310 >>53801673 >>53802388 >>53802406 >>53802770 >>53802988 >>53803198 >>53803235 >>53803403 >>53805626 >he fell for the reyydit meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is Jim Carrey‽ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB GIF 02/22/23(Wed)08:44:54 No.72324811 >be me last year >on school bus from school event >sitting behind milf teachers >they start talking about my fetish out of no where >oh s--- >start talking about how they used to do it >would pay to see that >start listing a bunch of people who do fetish >i recognize all of them >they all turn their heads and stare at me >mfw do they know? is this the truman show?

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Anon is Ted Cruz. | /r/Greentext

: Ted Cruz >>34134293 # Well, I was born in the early 70's and am currently 52, so ya until I die hopefully in my 100's if our Blood God grant's me that much life using the blood of the weak and cowardly >>34134399 # : Anonymous >>34134319 # 02/20/23(Mon)02:36:39 No.34134319 >>34134419 # 02/20/23(Mon)03:00:02 No.34134399 Ladies and gentleman, Ted Cruz.

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Anon wins a Nobel prize | /r/Greentext

England Removal 4011569-2712 england removal.jpg 95 KB JPG >Yes, I would like to place an order. Yes, I am sure.

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Anon forgot to change the VPN | /r/Greentext

■ Anonymous (ID: sd0SjGMf) = 02/20/23 (Mon)13:48:57 No.416901601 >>416901699 >>416901717 >>416901743 >>416901779 >>416901806 >>416901823 >>416901831 >>416901850 >>416901914 >>416901929 >>416901958 >>416901965 >>416902109 >>416902152 >>416902170 >>416902211 >>416902314 >>416902384 >>416902415 Here in Poland no one is celebrating... Biden's visit only means that the war will last longer, and more ungrateful pigger rapefugees from Banderastan will come to spread banderism around. Volene was not enough for them, now they want to replace us in our own home... very shameful! Anonymous (ID: 1+19wHOB) 02/20/23(Mon)13:50:12 No.416901699 ✓ >>416901742 >>416901601 Your vpn isn't working vatnik. Anonymous (ID: MTI2/4Yg) 02/20/23(Mon)13:50:47 No.416901743 ✓ >>416901601 Someone screen-cap the Russian vpn failure. Kek. Anonymous (ID: 91C42Zmo) 02/20/23(Mon)13:50:26 No.416901717 ✓ 1666261048014.png (664 B, 31x26) google iqdb wait >>416901601 >Here in Poland Anonymous (ID: InoYDO7p) 02/20/23(Mon)13:51:13 No.416901779 ✓ 45634572.jpg (12 KB, 350x350) google iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: mRcDmg2G) >>416901601 AHAHA VPN GOT SANCTIONED >>416901601 include me in the screencap Anonymous (ID: ZPZWAXCb) 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:29 No.416901929 ✓ >>416901601 The state of vatnik fake propaganda, can't even get a VPN to work Heino onl Anonymous (ID: C4W8BM5M) 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:58 No.416901965 ✓ Screenshot 2023.jpg (6 KB, 270x54) google iqdb wait Auny 202 >>416901601 Private Botovich, your VPN is off! Anonymous (ID: +QPaRQS7) No.416902109 ✓ 02/20/23(Mon)13:51:49 No.416901806 ✓ >>416901601 Put me in the screencap wait ve Anonymous (ID: f8TPDE5/): 02/20/23(Mon)13:56:06 No.416902152 ✓ 1658580407215.png (193 KB, 576x461) google iqdb 02/20/23(Mon)13:55:38 >>416901601 Anonymous (ID: Jx3h14Vj) 02/20/23 (Mon)13:56:17 No.416902170 ✓ 1676794793273604.png (224 KB, 589x636) google iqdb wait >>416901601 Pidor slow down you've distracted me and I forgot the VPN again! >>416901601 They pay these people Anonymous (ID: rtoEwD4v) = 02/20/23(Mon)13:51:59 No.416901823 baking Anonymous (ID: WDeY437m) 02/20/23 (Mon)13:56:46 No.416902211 ✓ 1676372956432329.jpg (270 KB, 732x568) google iqdb wait >>416901601 me in screencap pls Anonymous (ID: ZT6s+FqB) 1676750971248328.png Anonymous (ID: SfQz2Eih) 02/20/23(Mon)13:52:18 No.416901850 ✓ 1658980516843853.gif (1.39 MB, 498x498) google iqdb wait >>416901601 >Here in poland O kurwa Anonymous (ID: jy7Vpxvc) No.416901914 ✓ >>416901601 Imao 02/20/23(Mon)13:52:05 No.416901831 ✓ (547 KB, 524x682) google iqdb wait >>416901601 Imao, the pole vpnigger f---- up AGAIN. ADD ME TO THE SCREENCAP Anonymous (ID: SrNqNSwy) 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:47 No.416901958 ✓ IMG_20230219_140037_926.jpg (241 KB, 1280x1136) google iqdb wait 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:09 Anonymous (ID: LawUEnFL): 02/20/23(Mon)13:57:57 No.416902314 ✓ 1666121790703782.jpg (65 KB, 800x600) google iqdb wait >>416901601 >>416901601 polebros... MOG In axtarm Anonymous (ID: dRLIW/Mo) 02/20/23(Mo 104he.jpg (29 KB, 399x385) google iqdby 30.052.WALSKI Anonymous (ID: dnvuPpxc) + 02/20/23(Mon)13:59:18 No.416902415 ✓ >>416901601 They aren't sending their best Anonymous (ID: NphAG9/c) 1665739048674261.png >>416901601 witnessed 02/20/23(Mon)14:02:09 No.416902641 ✓ (384 KB, 680x702) google iqdb wait >>416901601 Do you still get your 15 rubles regardless?

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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Ww503DHf 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.161424130 >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that I'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)

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Sometimes the ponies play you | /r/Greentext

File: 1659554409929113[1].jpg (37 KB, 306x306) Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)21:21:08 No.21651629 >>21651634>>21651730 >>21652040 >>21652056 >>21652322 >>21652458 >>21652487 >>21652498 >>21653371 >>21653938 >>21654550 >>21654961 >>21655706 >>21658217 >>21659280 >>21659652 >>21659739 >>21665377 >>21669389 >>21671928 >>21672500 >>21679751 >>21688692 >>21688746 >>21691860 >They say kitties have claws, but this one had a .45. She was a crazy dame with two dead husbands and legs that stretched to next Tuesday. So yeah, I took the case. If I'm gonna catch another bullet, it might as well be for gams like hers.

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listened to music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 04/22/21(Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 >be me >Be audiophile >Spend 5 hours trying to find new song in lossless format >Can't buy since out 100 000 on equipment >finally find song >It is .exe file but whatever >Spend next 5 hours tuning my setup for R&B >Finally listen to song >Hear that the power company turbine is slightly off it's magnetic field >Makes slight hiss in my headphones >Instantly s--- and throw up over myself >Be safe out there fellow audiophiles

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Anon gets revenge. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/23(Wed)20:04:39 No.72326149 >Be me 10 years ago >15 year old with a big sister >she's constantly being a bitch to me >she's dating this guy who is pretty cool 76 KB JPG >one day, I walk in on her making out with some other dude >she freaks out and begs me not to tell her bf >"sorry sis, you should've thought about that before you cheated" >call him and tell him everything >he's devastated, but also kind of relieved because he knew something was off >fast forward a few days >he comes to our house to confront her >opens her room >walks in to find her with ANOTHER guy >he leaves without saying a word >she starts crying and locks herself in her room for days >this is what I do to my enemies

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FemAnons will never understand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HA HA HA BAI HAHA HA HA 57 KB JPG 02/22/23(Wed)00:36:53 >playing with d--- and balls >stretching penis as long as it can go >wrapping the d--- around so the nuts and the d--- swap places >roll up d--- >stretch penis again and pluck it like a guitar string >pull down pants and swing d--- and balls around making slapping noises like a retard women will never get this experience; they will never get to have so much dumb fun for no reason, they don't even know how the d--- and balls works it's like the world's funnest hand warmer and they have no idea : Anonymous No.72323948 02/22/23(Wed)01:14:32 No.72324238 Imagine being such a f--

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Anon learns a little something about teamwork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 145 KB JPG >Can't ask to be excluded or else I'm not a team player This is like high school all over again what the f---. Improved morale my ass I just get an ego punch every Friday before my weekend now 02/21/23(Tue) 22:33:06 No.72322884 >Work starts makes us do mandatory sports together every Friday during the last hour of shift to "improve morale" >Always picked last every single time in whatever we're doing : Anonymous >>72322884 (OP) # Well yeah, how do expect everybody else to get their morale boost? You're being very selfish here, Anon. : Anonymous GREAT SUCCESS! 02/21/23(Tue)22:35:00 No.72322904 : Anonymous >>72322884 (OP) # are you unfit? what is your job? 34 KB JPG 02/21/23(Tue) 23:18:20 No.72323303 02/22/23(Wed)00:03:28 No.72323667 >>72322884 (OP) # Just say you need to use the bathroom then hide in there for like 40 minutes. If anyone checks on you just say you have diarrhea. By the time you come out they'll be almost done and you can just hang on the sidelines and watch. Make a point of saying how disappointed you are you didn't get to play. You can probably get away with this for 3 or 4 weeks before someone starts getting suspicious If anyone questions you immediately start screaming at them about their ablest witch- hunt. Keep saying you're sorry that your chronic illness isn't "convenient" for they're little school yard playtime. If they still seem on the fence start throwing your own s--- on the walls and screaming "IS THIS PROOF ENOUGH FOR YOU, DARREN? DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP NOW YOU BASTARD????" curl up on the floor of the bathroom in your own s--- and refuse to get up until you can speak with someone in HR Start crying as soon as the HR person arrives and spend 2 or 3 hours talking about how you wanted to be an artist but no one ever supported you Agree to leave the bathroom and go home if someone will bring you chicky nuggs Get free chicky nuggs GREAT SUCCESS!!!

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Anon has a mosquito problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous SS 234 KB PNG 02/21/23(Tue)23:59:05 No.72323636 >extreme urge to pee, been holding it for at least a few hours >random mosquito lands on my thigh >slap it very hard and acidentally hit my own nuts with the thumb >squirm in pain and legs shake instantly >d--- gets hard but don't pay attention to it, must be the urge to pee >finally go to bathroom >boxers are abosutely wet with precum >for some reason i let out a involuntary moan while peeing >felt funny for a few minutes I don't know what i learned from this. : Anonymous >>72323636 (OP) # Mosquitoes get you horny. 02/22/23(Wed)00:02:16 No.72323657

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ex wife of anon's dad tried to make her pity for his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 726 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat) 22:37:00 No.72182834 >dad was abusive >leave him and go to my grandmother >he actually ends up in jail for a little while >could have been more if I was smart enough to say everything he did >haven't seen him since I testified in court >anyway, he's dying he lost to cancer >good >his brother contacts my grandmother and says my dad wants to see me before he goes >relunctant but I go to see him >his whole side of the family is there >they're all so sad it's crazy >he's had two more kids with someone else since getting out >feel like everyone there hates me >they fake being nice but it's obvious they hate me >his kids won't even make eye contact with me >his ex wife is the only one who actually acts genuine with me, which makes sense >he asks if he can be alone with me >don't want to but it seemed planned and they all leave >he starts talking like he has a script >apologizing and trying to make me pity him >ultimately he dragged me out there so he can make peace with me and have my forgiveness before he goes >refuse and tell him that I still think he's vile >quickly leave >the next couple weeks his family floods my grandmother with angry calls >when he dies and they call my grandmother and tell me I'm invited but don't show up Why would they try so hard to hurt me because I didn't want to forgive my dad for hurting me

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