Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

02/18/23(Sat)19:38:04 No.70004886 : Anonymous >be me >get nauseous at the gym >run to the toilet >open first door I see >someone taking a log there >can't resist >puke all my meal prep on him >realized what I did >"if someone would puke on me would punch him in the face" >punch him straight in the face >close door >leave Never came back there again.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon despises the homeless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Real story here: >Be driving home from grocery store >Stop at intersection with red light >Beggar comes up to car >Roll my window down 06/29/21 (Tue)08:16:22 No.49797423 >He gets closer >Hose him down with pepper spray >Drive off >Never see beggars at that intersection again >>49797623 # >>49797700 # >>49797736 # >>49799124 # >>49805120 # >>49806296 # >>49807165 # >>49808269 #

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Anon plays Dota. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/23(Sun)05:13:35 No.72282221 >First time playing Dota >Get matched with toxic teammates >Saying terms I don't understand >pick Invoker because he looks cool >"omg noob why did u pick 326 KB JPG invoker u suck" >game starts >enemy typing "ez" every minute >teammates flaming me in Spanish >My hero is more complicated than nuclear physics >teammate goes afk in his lane with an invisibility item >we lose in 18 minutes >back to League of Legends

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Anon has a grilled cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 784 KB PNG 02/18/23(Sat) 14:34:49 No.72281058 >Eating grilled cheese with my mom >I take a bite into it and some mayo drips out >I point it out to her and ask why it looks like vaginal discharge >She silently puts down her grilled cheese and goes to her car and drives off What's her deal? : Anonymous >>72281058 (OP) # I think I'm probably on this guy's level with attracting woman. 02/18/23(Sat) 14:36:55 No.72281078

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anon gets trolled by a retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous please be patient I have autism 77 KB JPG 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is to alpha for his own good | /r/Greentext

File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) Otimes where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place (we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright

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People power | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous am i too far gone? mys 88 KB JPG 02/18/23(Sat)12:45:02 No.72281186 >j------- to adult, human p--- for the first time in months >biggest load of my life should i just kill myself?

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anon visits an old friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 216 KB JPG 08/13/20(Thu)16:15:00 No.59554950 >sitting alone in room playing vidya >get text from old friend who ghosted me once he went full chadmode >havent talked to him in years >"bro come out tonight (address and time)" >the time is literally 20 minutes away >typical chad >decide f--- it i havent hungout with people in forever ill regret it if i dont go >shower and get dressed >pickup some beers on the way there just as a friendly gesture to chad >pullup to a house that has cars loaded on the road and on the front yard >music blaring >walk up to the front door and enter because its wide open >walk around and see nobody i know >finally find chad hanging with his new group of friends >walk up to him and say hello and hold up the beers and say look what i got >he says hey and says he didnt know i was friends with (owner of the house) >say im not >he asks who invited me GOD >i say he texted me >he makes a sudden realization face and then says "ooooooh i meant to text another (my name) sorry man, damn that means i didnt invite him,let me call him right now" and walks off while making a call >put the beers down on the counter and go back to my car and go back home

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Anon wonders about Boar Economics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 139 KB PNG 10/07/21(Thu)19:53:23 No.573742381 >kill a wild boar >it drops 3 coins where do the coins come from? 10/07/21(Thu)19:54:10 No.573742463 : Anonymous >>573742381 (OP) # piggy bank >>573742543 # >>573742709 # >>573742841 # >>573743052 # >>573744128 # >>573744226 # >>573744381 # >>573744918 #

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Anon Has a Folder | /r/Greentext

e: beub.jpg (138 KB, 1080x720) Anonymous = 11/24/14(Mon)19:19:34 No.33711808 ► >>33711842 >>3371189 File: foldert.png (670 KB, 1312x876) Doesn't matter. You're in my folder now. An cand am TI LLEIT G2 span1 741 M Amara Candles Cand and Canadian Cinidin CE andphon 103 Bruk? r com Aminka Aven Schaden PRE:944 BINARY ACCES Ravin French 7 Irish Inka Jalgra ca racian mora D-inu Janina San Arab- Agen Apen Aperk war Auson 2 Abalond Autoland Auslar! Aution Act Auto Autor! Main L Anonymous [ 11/24/14(Mon)19:10:58 No.33711472 ► >>33711584 >>33711619 Can I seduce scandinavian girls? I will go for holy days. Pic is me Thanks. Chec CHih FIER Kond E CH 2 HOP.CO T S Bran.co Fun 17 French 8 min Israel 2 Anonymous 11/24/14(Mon)19:21:50 No.33711902 ► >>33711808 This is very unsettling. Man Cole now Garkalam Thang hoy Harpoon Kaland ATILA Bild 13 Countila Marcha Kwall six Edd Bikin 13 Corbi K Kebab Baskoni croada PICTER > French Tunisian Let's Cod 3ENG 1 Hamon. this Zal Dukkha FORRE Parl MJ B Belgeler n B kebab French Israel Italian 2 Anonymous E 11/24/14(Mon)19:20:22 No.33711842 >>33711808 thats normal Durd -FON S F

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Anon leaks the secret lingo used by enlightened individuals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ATTENTION!!! Thanks for your attention 477 KB PNG 02/18/23(Sat)16:21:17 No.72278564 >sister barges in my room >tells me a pair of her panties are missing >"theyre prolly at chads apartment" >she looks confused >"whos chad" Goddamn it I promised myself I wouldnt let the lingo from this place leak out irl Anonymous >>72278564 (OP) # stop wearing your sister's panties, f----- 02/18/23(Sat)16:25:28 No.72278601

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/17/23(Fri)19:10:12 No.894533395 >>894533754 >>894536797 File: 16942013375584.jpg (19 KB, 400x400) >Be me >Like to do a little trolling >Make a trip down to my local Wal-Mart >Go into the restroom >Find a closed stall >peek through to make sure pants are all the way down >Start shaking the door violently >"Occupied" >Shake the door harder >"dude stop" >Shake door even harder and faster >"IM GOING TO KICK YOUR F------ ASS IF YOU DON'T STOP" >start shaking door at mach speed >hear belt buckle clanging around implying he's pulling his pants up >immediately start running out >casually sit on bench outside bathrooms >dude runs out of the bathroom >runs right past me >doesn't notice me >there's a kid about 14 or so walking towards the exit >guy assumes it the was kid >starts screaming at a random kid in the middle of Wal-Mart for something I did >hold laugh in from distance >run outside >laugh

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/11(Sun)18:07 No.10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ >Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR. LAW-MAN!" >Those cops will never be the same.

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