Anon has a pocket watch | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 11 12 1 8 19 Ö 86 KB JPG 09/01/21 (Wed)19:39:01 No.65222780 >Sitting at the bar >feel someone tap my shoulder >turn around and see a guy standing there with this weird smile on his face >he says "got the time?", but he is almost laughing as he asks >I say "sure" and pull out my pocket watch >As soon as I pull out my pocket watch the guy belts out laughing, along with a large table nearby, full of people laughing and looking at me >before I can even check the time, the guy walks away to the laughing table and loudly says "I told you it was a f------ pocket watch chain!" >one of the girls at the table says "Who the f----" but laughs so hard she cannot speak >I look around and see that there are other people in the place looking at me and some are laughing too >put my pocket watch away and try to go back to my drinks What is wrong with pocket watches?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Radda Radda | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/16/23(Thu)20:09:18 No.135570406 >>135570475 >>135570593 >>135572024 File: 1660351380888.png (282 KB, 973x1556) >>135569807 >>135569855 >>135569857 >>135569933 >>135569974 >>135569521 (OP) >>135569529 >>135569544 >>135569706 >>135569744 >>135569754 >>135569772 Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda >Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda >RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda >Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda >Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda RaddaRadda Radda Radda Radda Radda Radda

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Anon has a slight mental impairment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB GIF 02/17/23(Fri)14:21:06 No.72264629 1 Reply / 1 Image >be me, 22 year old permaneet virgin >start new wagie job at convenience store >first ever job, pretty nervous >about a week in, getting the hang of everything >girl comes in, semi regular >qt 7/10 >she asks my name >answer on autopilot as if she asked how much a small coke is >turn around and keep ringing up customer >when she leaves coworker laughs and says she was probably trying to flirt with me its over View Thread

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Anon doesnt believe in tires | /r/Greentext

File: car tire.png (206 KB, 382x382) Anonymous 02/16/23(Thu)21:55:06 No.72259698 [Reply] ► >supports weight of over two tons >must be extremely strong "what's inside a tire?" >air "w-what?" >just air. but don't break it open, then all the air escapes and you have to buy a new one, okay? you really expect me to believe this?

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Anon learns a new skill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous desu call hoem 8 KB JPG 02/17/23(Fri)09:13:43 No.72265167 >be me at work >straight male >always drink water throughout the entire day, always need to pee often >9am get into work and already have 40oz in me >forgot meeting is coming up >start to feel it creeping up during the meeting >by the end of the meeting am about to piss myself >rush to bathroom >accidentally rip top button of pants off >am able to hide that my button is gone with my belt >go home >decide to try sewing the button back on myself >have never done it before >watch a youtube video and successfully sew it back on >really enjoyed the process of sewing >want to sew more buttons just because it was fun Am I turning gay : Anonymous >>72265167 (OP) # >Am I turning gay Definitely : Anonymous >>72265167 (OP) # not the ending I expected at all, I thought you were going to be f----- by your boss in the bathroom stall 02/17/23(Fri)09:20:19 No.72265226 02/17/23(Fri)09:20:42 No.72265229

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Anon exposes other anons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 304 KB PNG 02/16/23(Thu)21:42:20 No.72259592 You guys are pathetic losers who will start to wag their tail the moment a real human female says a word. 49 Replies 15 Images View Thread

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Anon gets the uni experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 hours ago 1676403391782389.png (1.2 MB, 841x890) 6 REPLIES 72260336 >be me unifag >in phys lab >supposed to measure the acceleration of a falling object to confirm gravity >i get 9.79, partner gets 9.81 >tell her "I guess you're just more down to Earth" >she gives me a weird look and leaves I didn't think it was that bad Anonymous 4 hours ago >>72260336 (OP) That's pretty fun. Idk why normies hate dad humor. I love it. 72260360 Anonymous 4 hours ago 72260381 she probably didn't get it and projected that self-concise feeling of being stupid onto you. 1 REPLY Anonymous 4 hours ago >>72260384 What's wrong with uni anon? 1 REPLY Anonymous 4 hours ago >>72260336 (OP) i'm so f------ glad i got out of university in time sucks to be you, op, i guess 1 REPLY 72260384 72260405 Anonymous 4 hours ago >>72260336 (OP) it wasn't bad, it's like this anon said>>72260381 it's her problem for having no sense of humor and having terrible social skills. 72260413 Anonymous 4 hours ago >>72260405 basically i only got into it because a somewhat distant relative of mine wanted me to be an engineer, but i could never be an engineer, thats just not where my talents are. this relative tho has a lot of money, so that ended up wasting two years of my life. in that time, i had my cost of living basically covered by that relative, and got an ok allowance that i basically fully spent on booze. the specific city i my uni was in hapened to be mostly students, most of whom where edgy depressed nihilistic alcoholics, which turned out to be a dynamic that just ended up making everything it touched uglier. effectively, this was a subconscious attempt of this family member to drown me in the misery of this very city, and i survived it, i hated it, i'm glad i've got out of it - but i still cary a seed of it in me, the alcoholism >inb4 your gay i just masturbated to gay p--- about 20 minutes ago, i'm well aware 72260458

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Anon ate his kid | /r/Greentext

>be me >have gf >like giving her oral >she likes it rough >she gets iud (built in birth control) no more period >me gusta.jpg 12 KB JPG >turn her into a Twinkie >don't care >spit it out >still sex >every now and then she has period blood clumps >every now and then I get some in my mouth when I give her oral >going rough one time >hammertime.jpg >heard girls like it when you give oral in the middle of sex >give oral >big clump falls out >so shocked >swallow >can't stop in the middle of sex >forget top throw up after >one week later she's crying >she says Anon I went to doc because I was 2 month pregnant but I lost the baby >she doesn't remember when >mfw I remember >mfw I ate my kid

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Anon is a villain | /r/Greentext

File: hackerman.jpg (68 KB, 900x900) Anonymous 11/25/22(Fri)21:53:22 No.619268069 >Custom-built PC >Use a third-party operating system >VPN service, the best quality available >search using DuckDuckGo >Avoid big-named torrent sites >Direct Torrents Only >Download onto USB >Download USB content to separate computer Finally, time to play Super Monkey ball 2

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anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Does she want to f---? 155 KB PNG 02/17/23(Fri)02:19:36 No.69985710 >talk to random girl in an elevator at work like a month ago >We always say hi after we pass by eachother afterwards >Show up drunk yesterday >We start talking and the conversation leads to me saying tell me something interesting >My boyfriend of 8 years was actually cheating on me since day 1 >What about you >Obviously she probably didn't and doesn't believe me but I state that I've killed people before >Practically no response >On my way out she says hi and gives me a bro handshake I'm confused. Does she like me? Anonymous Anonymous Yeah dude. Bitches love killers. Slay that p---, king. : Anonymous >>69985710 (OP) # How'd you kill someone 02/17/23(Fri)02:21:03 No.69985721 02/17/23(Fri)02:21:38 No.69985727 02/17/23(Fri)02:24:51 No.69985757 >"My boyfriend cheated on me, what's your secret" >"I've killed people" Absolutely based, intimidate women when given the chance : Anonymous >>69985710 (OP) # Next time try to one up her by a smaller margin and keep the manslaughter or murder in your backpocket for when u really need it. 02/17/23(Fri)03:51:47 No.69986499

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Anon love his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)20:03:36 No.778848231 >be me >be with this girl >she kinda accepts me >even tho I'm a/b/eta >she let's me stay at her place >very comfy, smells good >I can play vidya too 66 KB JPG >she offers that she could make some food for me >hell f------ yes! >she even asks what would I eat >tendietime.wav >her tendies are the best >she cares for me I can feel it >I love my mum

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Do americans really act like USSR officials during Chernobyl disaster? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)05:19:26 No.4960483 >>4960488 >>4960513 >>4960878 >>4960934 >>4961041 >>4964304 >railroad workers throw strike specifically because of safety hazards like this >biden puts down union because muh economy >railways take home billions upon billions of dollars in profit >run skeleton crews and expect them to work double time with no rest, skimping on safety >train derails because of a worn out wheel bearing that would have easily been spotted had workers been able >the 5 cars that contained highly toxic vinyl chloride would have been classified as Highly Hazardous had regulations been passed about increased scrutiny regarding cars like that >Clean up crew decides that lighting it on fire was the best way to fix the issue >EPA and local regulators told people that it was safe to live there despite air being unbreathable, water being toxic and acidic as f---, and tons of live stock and marine life dying >toxic vinyl chloride decomposed to even more hazardous hydrochloric acid and phosgene >cops arrest journalists trying to report on it. >literally the worst ecological disaster in decades and the railway tries to donate a mere 25k to the town for ???

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Anon has a delusional gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPG 02/04/22(Fri)08:41:25 No.24324732 >failed male gf occasionally gets phases where she gets delusions about being a man and having sex with girls >always have to remind her that she's a girl now and won't be penetrating anyone in her life ever again >she keeps blabbering on about how she is going to be a total chad and c-- in girls raw >ask her how she is planning to f--- anyone with her tiny atrophied oversized clit >she says with a straight face that she has a c--- made to breed women while I'm looking at it in its little pink cage with a pink ribbon around it >casually dismiss her with a "uh huh" >she gets all pouty and says she means it this time and is going to be an alpha male >hold her down in a mating press and c-- inside her >keep going even though i've finished to make a point until she explodes her useless clear watery c-- all over her little breast buds >make her lick it off and make her tell me in her cutest girliest voice that she'll be a good girl from now on >she is sweet and submissive and feminine for a few months but the phases keep coming back How do I remind her of her place once and for all? I've already taken away her mechanical keyboards and nintendo switch and make her lick her estrogen off my c--- every night.

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