Anon uses nasal spray | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

I wanna die Procto-eze Cleanser 6C0F26FA-D798-47F5-B180-CE393853414E.jpg 3.05 MB JPG >there have been many ads on tv and yt about these new nasal sprays that are actually gels and have better resorption >go in bathroom and see picrel >looks like those new nasal sprays >shove it up my nostrils, works wonders >keep using it for a week every time im in the bathroom >i decide to order it online so i look it up >OHGODPLEASELORDNO >long story short ive been using dads hemorrhoid creme as nasal spray for a week >idk if he applied it via hand or shoved it up his ass but it did smell kinda funny Should i rope?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon really doesn't like punk (I don't understand him either) | /r/Greentext

File: 1662054094368235.png (96 KB, 280x300) Anonymous 02/06/23 (Mon)15:56:31 No.893940994 [Reply] Why do people like punk music? It's f------ s---. >bands are not skilled at their instruments, a lot of them can't even play adequately >vocals are usually just screaming, there is certainly no "singing" >songs are painfully short >the recording quality is usually bad >there is really nothing artistic about it, it all sounds the same, it all has the same structure and style >all of this is done on purpose Why would you willingly and intentionally listen to punk?

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This greentext is a wonderful parable about how we attribute our failures to external causes instead of our own lack of knowledge / effort / discipline. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/25/21 (Wed)09:01:20 No.16600087 >Reads recipe >Changes it significantly, substituting many ingredients, using differing cooking times and temperatures >Recipe comes out tasting bad >"Wow, this recipe is so s---!"

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Anon becomes bilingual | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 46 KB JPG 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype/discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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Harry Potter and The Search For My Father | /r/Greentext

IF YOU'RE SURPRISED, IT MEANS YOU DON'T SEE ENOUGH BLACK PEOPLE IN MAJOR ROLES. Harry Potter THE DEATHLY HALLOWS JOIN US ON OUR MISSION FOR BETTER BLACK REPRESENTATION IN THE MEDIA @legallyblackuk Could it work? AND HP.jpg 159 KB JPG : Anonymous >>171762817 (OP) # >accio welfare LEGALLY BLACK 07/28/22(Thu)12:16:15 No.171762966

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Anon doesnt like sex | /r/Greentext

140 KB PNG 02/09/23(Thu)08:23:35 No.17011650 sex is not worth trust me > be me > 18 > fat virgin > started working out, looksmax > somehow went to club and got 8/10 girl > we went back to her > got nervous > couldnt get erection > I have sensitive penis so when she started blowing me it hurted even more > somehow fingering her > didnt get hard > I felt like we are doing something weird and we shouldnt do that > I didnt even c-- at her place > went home > c-- 4 times while thinking about her Actually sex isnt as good as it looks. I am deeply disgusted and sad. M----------- is better cuz noone is watching and judging your body

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Anon invested 200 dollars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: DYGdnIXs) 77 KB GIF 02/08/23(Wed)21:43:00 No.53635166 *Califronia dreamin' playing* >Welcome, My name is Anon Rothschild >I own $200 of the world, I own stocks in companies such as Blackrock, Apple, Tesla, Astrazeneca and Google >l invest therefore I own >I own your Technology >I own your cars >I own your medicine >I own your information >I own your food >I own you

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Anon knows how to spot a Canadian | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous (ID: +OCtgzJj) 02/08/23 (Wed)18:26:16 No.415418388► >>415418769 File: CanadasGlory.jpg (61 KB, 720x960) BRITISH COLUMBIA Staying Safe at the Glory Hole Get the Hole Picture Before you pop your peen into a neighbour's glory hole, consider the hole itself. Is it safe? Are there jagged edges? Does it appear to have been sanitized recently? Some people have reported injuries upon insertion, so be sure you stay injury-free". Avoid Gendered Language Try to avoid using language specific to an individual gender (for instance: "Oh man, that's good" or "Keep going, girll") and aim for inclusive vocalizations of pleasure. Some options could be: "I am appreciative of this moment of tenderness," or "Can we make this quicker? My kid's in the car." Peek Before You Poke If you are being serviced by a certified B.C. GloryHole SuperHost, they should first politely affer you the opportunity to peek through an eye-ovelhole to ensure you've got the right host Watch Your Back Keep care of your other long and hard bone-your spine! While being attended to, stand with your shoulders back and knees locked. British Columbia hospitals treat more than 420 cases of gloryhole- related spinal injuries per month. Don't become a statistic. >>415418245 >not sophisticated enough to pad the stall wall Yeah, definitely not Canadian i i X Olory hole injuries only covered by WorkSafe BC for construction workers and police officers in uniform with above average girth Photographic proof may be required.

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Anon is disappointed by reality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)11:01:09 No.26638718 I thought getting my MTF girlfriend estrogen would get me a hot futa gf. Instead I am now dating a moody teenage girl trapped inside a 20 yr old's body.

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Anonette is hopeful for the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/27/23 (Fri) 16:39:50 No.29360229 File: 1672044629539826.png (507 KB, 860x765) >one day I will date a guy >one day I will wear his hoodies >one day he will playfully pick me up >one day I will get bridally carried >one day he will pin me down during sex >one day we will have cute dates sightseeing at museums and aquariums >one day I will listen to him autistically infodump about whatever interests him >one day I will massage him and let him rest his head in your lap after a long day The future is bright, sisters

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Anon's daughter is trans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB PNG 02/05/23(Sun)09:57:52 No.29478391 >son decided he wants to be a woman 4 years ago >goes against our religion but he's the only family I have left since I've p----- off the rest of the family to the point they won't speak with me. >try to keep contact with him but it hurts thinking of how he's going to walk around like some kind of drag queen >only talk on the phone, never see him for 4 years >have heard his "voice" once in a while, sounds fairly feminine but he sticks to his natural voice when I call in >drive out to visit him for the first time in years >he looks almost exactly like his mother did when she was his age >has a bf and lives as a regular woman without any spectacle or anything How did that work out - my son was a grown man, and as far as I know he didn't even get surgery. He even acts like a woman, worrying about the nice towels and the good plates and that sort of b-------.

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Anon drives a car | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/02/13(Wed)19:47 No.28612461 Replies: >>28612507 >>28612537 >>28612602 >>28612690 >>2861273 >watch Drive with friend >calls me up one day to pick him up and drive him somewhere >preparing, I put on a cool jacket, put on some gloves (cool) and quickly download the OST of Drive >I drive up to his place >he is waiting, along with two girls, one of whom I remember from back in high school but never spoke to >l greet them with a slight nod, but don't say a word as they come in >friend is smiling, doesn't laugh though, so as not to break my act >>the girl from high school sits in the passenger's seat, I always had a crush on her >she starts talking to me >I always take five seconds before answering her questions as shortly as possible >we just drive silently, while the OST is playing >next day, my friend says the girl was asking about me a lot > "Really? What did she say?" >my friend doesn't respond because he doesn't exist >I have no friends >there were no girls > stare at the ceiling of my bedroom

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anon finds the emperor suspicious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 390 KB PNG 02/08/23(Wed)15:41:37 No.135430218 >be on movie poster >be extremely powerful incan emperor >shows up in the last scene of the movie >pretends to be your wife in full drag >breaks the 4th wall >gets covered in cheese >refuses to elaborate >completely vanishes from existence for the rest of the movie with 0 acknowledgement from other characters what did kuzco mean by this?

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