Anon invested 200 dollars | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: DYGdnIXs) 77 KB GIF 02/08/23(Wed)21:43:00 No.53635166 *Califronia dreamin' playing* >Welcome, My name is Anon Rothschild >I own $200 of the world, I own stocks in companies such as Blackrock, Apple, Tesla, Astrazeneca and Google >l invest therefore I own >I own your Technology >I own your cars >I own your medicine >I own your information >I own your food >I own you

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon knows how to spot a Canadian | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous (ID: +OCtgzJj) 02/08/23 (Wed)18:26:16 No.415418388► >>415418769 File: CanadasGlory.jpg (61 KB, 720x960) BRITISH COLUMBIA Staying Safe at the Glory Hole Get the Hole Picture Before you pop your peen into a neighbour's glory hole, consider the hole itself. Is it safe? Are there jagged edges? Does it appear to have been sanitized recently? Some people have reported injuries upon insertion, so be sure you stay injury-free". Avoid Gendered Language Try to avoid using language specific to an individual gender (for instance: "Oh man, that's good" or "Keep going, girll") and aim for inclusive vocalizations of pleasure. Some options could be: "I am appreciative of this moment of tenderness," or "Can we make this quicker? My kid's in the car." Peek Before You Poke If you are being serviced by a certified B.C. GloryHole SuperHost, they should first politely affer you the opportunity to peek through an eye-ovelhole to ensure you've got the right host Watch Your Back Keep care of your other long and hard bone-your spine! While being attended to, stand with your shoulders back and knees locked. British Columbia hospitals treat more than 420 cases of gloryhole- related spinal injuries per month. Don't become a statistic. >>415418245 >not sophisticated enough to pad the stall wall Yeah, definitely not Canadian i i X Olory hole injuries only covered by WorkSafe BC for construction workers and police officers in uniform with above average girth Photographic proof may be required.

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Anon is disappointed by reality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 07/07/22(Thu)11:01:09 No.26638718 I thought getting my MTF girlfriend estrogen would get me a hot futa gf. Instead I am now dating a moody teenage girl trapped inside a 20 yr old's body.

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Anonette is hopeful for the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/27/23 (Fri) 16:39:50 No.29360229 File: 1672044629539826.png (507 KB, 860x765) >one day I will date a guy >one day I will wear his hoodies >one day he will playfully pick me up >one day I will get bridally carried >one day he will pin me down during sex >one day we will have cute dates sightseeing at museums and aquariums >one day I will listen to him autistically infodump about whatever interests him >one day I will massage him and let him rest his head in your lap after a long day The future is bright, sisters

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Anon's daughter is trans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB PNG 02/05/23(Sun)09:57:52 No.29478391 >son decided he wants to be a woman 4 years ago >goes against our religion but he's the only family I have left since I've p----- off the rest of the family to the point they won't speak with me. >try to keep contact with him but it hurts thinking of how he's going to walk around like some kind of drag queen >only talk on the phone, never see him for 4 years >have heard his "voice" once in a while, sounds fairly feminine but he sticks to his natural voice when I call in >drive out to visit him for the first time in years >he looks almost exactly like his mother did when she was his age >has a bf and lives as a regular woman without any spectacle or anything How did that work out - my son was a grown man, and as far as I know he didn't even get surgery. He even acts like a woman, worrying about the nice towels and the good plates and that sort of b-------.

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Anon drives a car | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/02/13(Wed)19:47 No.28612461 Replies: >>28612507 >>28612537 >>28612602 >>28612690 >>2861273 >watch Drive with friend >calls me up one day to pick him up and drive him somewhere >preparing, I put on a cool jacket, put on some gloves (cool) and quickly download the OST of Drive >I drive up to his place >he is waiting, along with two girls, one of whom I remember from back in high school but never spoke to >l greet them with a slight nod, but don't say a word as they come in >friend is smiling, doesn't laugh though, so as not to break my act >>the girl from high school sits in the passenger's seat, I always had a crush on her >she starts talking to me >I always take five seconds before answering her questions as shortly as possible >we just drive silently, while the OST is playing >next day, my friend says the girl was asking about me a lot > "Really? What did she say?" >my friend doesn't respond because he doesn't exist >I have no friends >there were no girls > stare at the ceiling of my bedroom

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anon finds the emperor suspicious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 390 KB PNG 02/08/23(Wed)15:41:37 No.135430218 >be on movie poster >be extremely powerful incan emperor >shows up in the last scene of the movie >pretends to be your wife in full drag >breaks the 4th wall >gets covered in cheese >refuses to elaborate >completely vanishes from existence for the rest of the movie with 0 acknowledgement from other characters what did kuzco mean by this?

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 104 KB PNG >turns green >mfw 7 Replies 06/10/20(Wed)02:36:44 No.82965001- >at a stop light >light is red "go green.... NOW >still red "go green... NOW >still red "go green... NOW View Thread

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Anon finally understands Obi-Wan | /r/Greentext

9h (7/24 7:25) 171542194 242 Re 20 Img JPG 300KB (1400x1400) 25 Replies . >You WILL give me two free slaves, a free ship, and a large soda in exchange for a stack of worthless Zimbabwe dollars what was his f------ problem :

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Anon is a PDF file | /r/Greentext

File: syrianloli.png (648 KB, 1153x1154) Muhammad Smiry Muhammatimay "Pull me out and I will do whatever you want, I will be your servant!" Syrian child saying to the rescuer C15 008. 41 AM-Fe7.2023 2.4M 20.5K 3,017 Que Te 52.1K WWYD Anonymous 02/08/23(Wed)20:02:01 No.894027864 [Reply] ► >>894036587 >>894038586 What would you do? + 134 replies and 90 images omitted. Click here to view. >> ☐ Anonymous 02/08/23 (Wed)23:30:20 No.894036587 >>894027864 (OP) hey OP, have you considered killing yourself? >> Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)00:20:35 No.894038586 >> Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)00:48:19 No.894039701

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Anon didn’t get the sale | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Working sales job selling floors >Kinda new so desperate for sales >Old guy, at least 70, comes to our store 187 KB PNG >Heavy Brooklyn accent >Pick out some stuff, sit down at desk to crunch numbers and make bid. >Notice he has one of those military veteran hats that old veterans always glue to their scalps >thankyouforyourservice.pander >Starts telling me about how crazy tough he had to be as a marine >Sounds like he was in Vietnam but he's so old he must have been like 40 then >Pretend to be impressed >Need to make this sale >Old guy looks around then stands up >"Watch this" >With all his strength he starts slamming his fists into his sides >About 3 solid hits >He sits down obviously in great pain >"That would have made most men keel over" >Try not to show I'm in shock and continue to act impressed >He takes his samples and leaves >Guy never shows up for next appointment, doesn't answer any follow up calls. >This guy committed Marine seppuku in my store and I'm pretty sure he died when he got home. >Didn't get the sale

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Steam Deck Owner Asks for Girl's Number | /r/Greentext

"Hey cutie, nice bod, how about giving me those digits?" > Slams backpack down > Heaves out Steam deck from protective case > Gives screen a good clean with a few spritzes of anti-bac spray > Fans burr loudly as I turn it on > My custom boot up animation of my favourite Genshin Impact Waifu runs > "HELLO. MASTER. YOURE. QUITE. GOOD AT. TURNING. ME ON." > Switch to Desktop mode > Wait for it to load > Hands too slimey from chicken grease and sweat to use track pad > Lick them clean > Open a text file after fumbling and misclicking for a few minutes >Battery runs out > Sigh heavily > Fish out power bank from backpack > Hook it up, damn thing looks like its on life support > Wait a bit for some power to transfer > Hit the power button again > Fans whir so fast I have to cover my ears and yell "ALMOST THERE, HON" > "HELLO. MASTER. YOURE. QUITE. GOOD AT. TURNING. ME ON." > Power bank runs out > Look up and ask if there's a power outlet nearby She's been gone a while Reply Share ...

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Anon exposes Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

No.153617911 07/14/21 (Wed)19:51:44 1617090666052.jpg JPG 42.2 KiB 340x226 : >"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"

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