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Dean Norris @deanjnorris Baby Shark doo doo do do do doo.... (Don't worry caught and released alive) File: shark.jpg (31 KB, 647x646) Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri) 13:52:07 No.860962857 >Be me >Shark, swimming as usual >I see a something that looks like a huge fish >belly on the surface >I approach >A hand grab me >It's f------ Dean Norris >He sings baby shark while he takes a selfie >with me suffocating >He releases me back in the water >???????

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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This is why we love Keanu Reeves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/21 (Sat)12:44:01 No.156133592 >>156133444 (OP) # >>156133444 (OP) # >>156133444 (OP) # 126 KB JPG In October 2001, Keanu Reeves met with the families of 9/11 victims. After a brief interview in which he expressed his condolences and hope for closure, he reportedly burst out laughing and made airplane noises and mimicked two planes crashing. He then picked up the child of a deceased victim and whispered into her ear "Your dad's dead, bitch", and proceeded to put on a pair of sunglasses and unleash a barrage of martial arts attack on the small child. She was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced dead due to extreme trauma. When asked later about the incident, Reeves became visibly sexually aroused and repeated the same attack on the reporter. >>156133626 # >>156133662 # >>156133706 # >>156134549 # >>156136752 # >>156136846 #

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Just saved you 500 hours of watchtime | /r/Greentext

O Every "Tribal people react to" video be like Anonymous 01/27/23(Fri)05:25:11 >hello abdul, please introduce yourself>i am bdul, hello >today we show you a thing that is not commonly present in your third-world country >wow, I've never seen something like this before >this is incredible >repeat this 9000 times with different sandniggers >quantum wave resonance I just saved you 500 hours of watch time, thank me later

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Anon talks about bicycles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again? 148 KB JPG

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Diogenes is based | /r/Greentext

No.236424158 47 minuti fa >>236423661 >Students are in their seats, Plato begins his lecture >Suddenly, the door swings open >it's Diogenes >25 minutes late to class >"Oh my God Becky, is he holding a dead chicken?" >"Like, is that his lunch or something?" >"He's so weird" >Diogenes sits at a desk in the back, leaning awkwardly backwards and bouncing his knee up and down >He gets up quickly, knocking his thigh on the desk with a clunk >Everybody turns around and looks >Plato stops talking >Diogenes walks to the front of the class, stumbling part way through >"Oh God, not again" >Diogenes holds up his plucked chicken >"B-behold, a m-m-man!" His voice breaking >Eyes roll and audible groans are heard throughout the class >Diogenes slams the chicken on the table, it slips off, so he bends down, picks it up, and puts it back on the table >He walks out, masturbating 1 reply

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Anon's boss is kind | /r/Greentext

depositphotos depositphotos depositphot depositphotos debesitohotos depositpho depositphotos Image ID: 136995278 www.depositphotos.com depositphotos_136995278-stock-photo-businessman-doing-thumbs- up-sign.jpg 148 KB JPG >hey anon I heard you going to the bathroom and it sounded like you had to go number 2 so I just decided to uh clock ya out. Don't forget to clock back in when you're done

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Anon starts a family | /r/Greentext

18h (1/24 6:17) · 4418313 · 4 Re - 3 Img PNG 17KB (114 × 96) · ratge.png 1 Reply Rat in my walls >hear a rat in my walls >spray canned cheemse into the hole in my wall >joyful rat sounds >feed my new pet for years >always ready at the same time each day for a new can >name them Ernesto >I soon hear a second set inside the walls >Ernesto's got a babe >double the cheemse rations >weeks later Ernesto has kids >cans of cheemse getting expensive with inflation >resort to using powdered cheese from KD boxes >family of rats becoming too big for my walls visible cracks forming 18h (1/24 6:22). 4418317 >>4418313 (OP) Don't play god OP 18h (1/24 6:50). 4418334 PNG 95KB (568 × 548) 1626846517192.png : 17h (1/24 7:46) · 4418367 DO CALD 1500 110) : : ...

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Anon nails it. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 210 KB PNG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 80 KB JPG >893374612 # 01/27/23(Fri)19:59:32 No.893373664 My teacher found my fingernail bag and now I'm being sent to a counsellor View Thread 01/27/23(Fri)20:22:09 No.893374561 >>893373664 (OP) # Why do you have a fingernail bag, anon? : Anonymous >>893374561 # to keep fingernails in 01/27/23 (Fri) 20:23:26 No.893374612

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Anon should be more grateful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/23(Fri)12:18:45 No.71988236 >wake up 3 pm >22 unread messages from egirl >say good morning >she starts complaining about whatever for 30 minutes to an hour 71 KB GIF >wow I'm sorry that happened >my head is hurting! I have a stomachache! boo this hoo that! >wow I'm sorry that happened >she sends dozen or more pictures of her pets >wow they're so cute >anon do you want to vc for """a bit? I'm 'a "about to go to bed" >talks about uninteresting nonsense in vc for THREE f------ hours >alright anon I'm gonna go to bed now goodnight! >stays in vc for an unsolicited sleepcall, presumably to make sure you don't talk to anyone else >50/50 chance she brings up some nonsense b------- nonissue in the middle of sexting/sending nudes and expect you to calm her t--- good f--- f------ lord I hate neet girls so f------ much 01/27/23(Fri)12:21:48 No.71988268 : Anonymous >>71988236 (OP) # She sounds so f------ cute bro, atleast she tries to interact with you and share her interests with you. You're ungrateful.

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Anon cannot get more updoots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB JPG 05/01/20(Fri)04:28:20 No.826589636 >make funny post on social media >only get 2 likes >one is my mom >other is my dad : Anonymous Your parents love you anon, don't forget that 05/01/20(Fri)04:29:45 No.826589684

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Anon saves a life. | /r/Greentext

06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. : Anonymous 170 KB JPG 82 Replies/23 Images View Thread

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Anon socially interacted with another person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/23(Sun)21:25:35 No.69444498 5b780abd36def94d2cc0c6feab2201f3.jpg 27 KB JPG >tfw accidentally socially interacted with another person at the gym today and now I have to interact with them every time I see them from now on every single time I go to the gym

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Anon scare away the goblins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)10:05:28 No.163991421 >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter 26 KB JPG >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut >>163991453 # >>163991482 # >>163991503 # >>163991682 # >>163991690 # >>163992810 #

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Greentext Stories - hank (anon) has a pet shark | /r/Greentext

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Dean Norris @deanjnorris Baby Shark doo doo do do do doo.... (Don't worry caught and released alive) File: shark.jpg (31 KB, 647x646) Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri) 13:52:07 No.860962857 >Be me >Shark, swimming as usual >I see a something that looks like a huge fish >belly on the surface >I approach >A hand grab me >It's f------ Dean Norris >He sings baby shark while he takes a selfie >with me suffocating >He releases me back in the water >???????

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