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1h (8/16 14:24). 69837166 5 Re 0 Img PNG 210KB (633 × 758) 1 Reply >live in a flat with 3 people >have to s--- ↓ >toilet is occupied >go back to my room and wait >the urge to s--- is getting unbearable ff 15 min >toilet still occupied >nearly s------- ms >can't hold it in >s--- on a plate I shidded on a plate and have to sit in my room that smells like s---, bc I couldn't knock on the door and my flatmate to hurry 1h (8/16 14:28). 69837209 1 Reply >started getting a boner thinking of what you could do with this it's f------ over

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Bueno: howling men | /r/Greentext

File: 1363944296014.jpg-(81 KB. 569x625, image.jpg) Bueno. >takes bitches card >I'm sorry ma'am, it was declined" >the bar falls silent Anonymous Jr 03/22/13(Fri)05:24 No. 11535288 Replies: >>11535531 >be at bar with friends >drinkingallnight >feminazi across bar >treating male bartender like s--- >spouting endless reason why men made her fat >her wymin friends agree >a devilish idea pops into my head >grab shot glass >"by all means, it was..." >take shot >slam glass down >shatters >equally devilish grin spreads across my face >call to bartender >tell him i'll pay her tab as her lower female wages won't be enough >order shot for effect >bitch done eating >asks for tab >my penis begins to swell with anticipation >bartender is a bro >feminazis eyes swell "w-what?" >other men see my smile >they begin grunting like apes >women begin to s-- gently >immediately speak up: "ill cover it" >bartender hands me her check >bitch begins to wail >wimyn friends join her >the men begin banging their chests and howling >my erection barley contained in my pants >i sign my name on the bill >my friends go wild >"th-th-thank y-you..." she squeaks >"...my privilege." >the men go insane >now fighting each other with diamond hard erections >women everywhere crying in the fetal position at this display of oppression >turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Dumbledore Asked Calmly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/26/23(Thu)11:48:59 No.179764444 Calmly.jpg 441 KB JPG >HARRY POTTER >DID YOU PUT THE PFIZER DOCUMENTS IN THE GOBLET >*Inhales* >OF >*Inhales* >FIIIIRE?!!

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Anon gets hit by his teacher constantly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 KB JPG 03/10/21 (Wed)21:45:22 No.62695227 >be me >highschool gym class >shirts vs skins >take off shirt >gym teacher sees my bruises >get called into office >asked if bruises are from home >no these are from school >oh ok >never chosen for skins again >thanks gym teacher

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Anon commits chemical warfare | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/15/18(Sun)19:41:20 No.44709361 >yesterday >it's my little sister's birthday >she's a literal 13 year old Stacy >f------ spoiled as s--- as well >always tells me to leave the house already as I am 26 years old >hate her guts >be lactose intolerant >she and her classmates were out bowling >eat a s--- ton of varying dairy products >2 different kinds of yogurt, 3 different kinds of cheese and 2 tall glasses of milk >a deadlier version of mustard gas starts building up inside of me >spend the next 15 minutes farting inside my sister's bedroom >farted in every single sleeping bag and corner >10 minutes later sister comes back >they all run upstairs to watch some gay dancing movie >sister opens door >a wall of sulfuric gas hits her and her friends in the face >one of the quiet kids almost fainted >sister yells at parents >parents suspect it's a gas leak because they thought no man could produce such stench >got off scot-free Anyone else /devilish/?

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Anon gets approached by a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG 01/27/23(Fri) 14:39:59 No.893350304 >Be me, in University >Busy working on my assignment in the library >Spot a gal doing the same thing >She leaves for a coffee break, but suddenly comes back like she forgot something >Asks me if I would like to give company to her >Sure, why not >Both of us drinking coffee awkwardly >Have no idea why she wanted my company >Then she ends the silence by telling me that she has been working on a paper related to human psychology >I then understood why she wanted my company >Bitch thinks I'm a human psychology subject because I act retarded sometimes >Date? >Yeah >Get offended and tell her that I need to get back to the library to finish my work >She apologizes to me, and asks me out on a date on the whim >Mind-Blown >*Retardation kicks in* >I say, but why should I date you!? >She gets offended this time, and tells me that we aren't dating, but just wants to go out on a date with me >Ask her what's her ideal date night sounds like >She tells me that we should go on a picnic >Weird, but alright I guess >She then shows me this remote location (literally in the middle of b------ nowhere) on her phone, and tells me that the place is a perfect spot for picnic >I'm getting murdered aren't I, anons? imgflip.com

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I can confirm | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/22(Sun)11:21:03 No.127007146 Flag_of_Argentina.svg.png 28 KB PNG >World Cup ends >Argentina back to being poor irrelevant s------- full of low iq brown people >>127012821 # : Anonymous >>127007146 (OP) # Yes, I'm okay with it 12/11/22(Sun)11:22:24 No.127007184

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"This job interviews are some sort of lying contest, isnt it?" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 359 KB PNG 10/12/21 (Tue)00:04:58 No.65728352 >be me >job interview >"Anon I notice you've never had a job before despite being 20, why is that?" >I just never wanted one until now >"I see..." >never hear from them again What the f--- was I supposed to say? Did they want me to lie?

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Anon's pee pee is different- | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: XOUJKHrL) 11/09/12 (Fri)09:42 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

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A boy named Sue. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 585 KB PNG 11/09/21 (Tue)04:03:47 No.66085975 >be me >give s--- eating grins to people out of the blue >classmate asks me if something's wrong after I give him one > reply "something's going to be" for s---- and giggles >get the s--- beat out of me by the f------ f----- >he starts yelling I got a gun >get restrained >people yelling but I can't even open my eyes and head is rigning >don't remember what happens later >I'm escorted to the principal's office along with the kid >kid gets suspended after they hear his story >principal begs me not to sue in front of my parents the next day >s--- eating grin with my face beat to a pulp We sued.

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Anon starts a war | /r/Greentext

IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen 299 13 LISON BETH STORIT MIR IRTS SÄRTS 307 KB JPG >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die

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Hardly working | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 32 KB JPG 01/26/23(Thu)18:55:29 No.71976287 >>71975841 (OP) # >WHAAAAAT? YOU DONT LIKE COLLEGE??? BUT...BUT HOW? EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO TO COLLEGE >IM DOING A 4 YEAR MAJOR IN SOCIO-BIO-ECONOMICS WITH A MINOR IN NEW WORLD FILM STUDYS PHILOSPHY >ARENT YOU GLAD YOU MOVED OUT OF YOUR HICK TOWN AND ALL THAT WILDERNESS AND INTO THE CITY >ITS SO DIVERSE, SO MANY COOL STORES AND STARBUCKS >WHAT ABOUT THE CLUBS AND SOCIETIES???? THE DEAN APPROVED OUR WALKOUT PLAN FOR PROTESTING AGAINST RACISM >IF YOU DONT GO TO COLLEGE YOUR GOING TO END UP BEING A JANITOR OR SOME BORING JOB FOREVER >DEBT? DEPRESSION? NO MEANING IN LIFE? NO NO NO THATS ALL MADE UP NONSENSE IM THE HAPPIEST IVE EVER BEEN JUST LOOK MY DORM AND ALL MY TIK TOKS THAT SHOW MY DAILY LIFE WITH MY NEW AWESOME FRIENDS >HA WHAT DO YOU KNOW ANYWAYS YOU DONT HAVE A PHD

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Anon questions his faith | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20211211-204924_Amazon Shopping~2.jpg 153 KB JPG >get gf cow lingerie on amazon >f--- her in it many times >driving past field of cows on my way home from work >get r----------- Did a God really create us?

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Greentext Stories - Anon Poops on a Plate | /r/Greentext

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1h (8/16 14:24). 69837166 5 Re 0 Img PNG 210KB (633 × 758) 1 Reply >live in a flat with 3 people >have to s--- ↓ >toilet is occupied >go back to my room and wait >the urge to s--- is getting unbearable ff 15 min >toilet still occupied >nearly s------- ms >can't hold it in >s--- on a plate I shidded on a plate and have to sit in my room that smells like s---, bc I couldn't knock on the door and my flatmate to hurry 1h (8/16 14:28). 69837209 1 Reply >started getting a boner thinking of what you could do with this it's f------ over

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