Anon’s hygiene are questionable | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (SAD PEPE HOURS) 132 KB JPG 11/30/22(Wed)14:32:09 No.889972328 >go through sad breakup >get tinder to cope by finding a hookup >finally find a chick that'll let me shag her >red flags but I'm sad and lonely so do her >two days later there are pimples on my d--- >s--- s--- s--- s--- did I get STDs >be extremely retarded so try to pop the pimples with beedles in hopes of getting rid of whatever I have >next day there are more so go to doctor >"anon w-- were you doing. You can't treat std like that anyway. And that's not even std. Apply this anti bacterial cream and keep good hygiene for a week, you'll be fine." I'm all clear but have permanent scars all over my d---

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Educated Conversation From /lit/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/18(Thu)02:51:32 No.11025519 >>11025299 (OP) # >a pizza elicits a more intense emotional and sensual response in girls than I ever have or will and to think there are people who will be shocked by my suicide >>11025561 #

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 01/24/23(Tue)20:49:28 No.71951526 >catfish some guy for half a year on discord >get bored of it and just block him >before i do so i tell him i have weird feelings about him >its been almost 3 years now and he keeps making at least 2 accounts every month to readd me >never accept >he still has the chat open and pins messages from time to time, wishing me happy birthday and telling me he misses me 3. f------. years. at least 100 accounts to readd me. What do you think is worse? Letting him keep doing it or telling him I was a guy the whole time. Idk if he still browses r9k, he used to lol

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Anon needs his eyes checked | /r/Greentext

>finished heavy set of decline press >sit up >see guy with the biggest pecs ive ever seen >h-------- >they seriously stick out like half a foot >wonder what he did to get them like that >so big >so round 48 KB PNG >thats a woman >its a girl with b-------

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anon laughs at cryptobros | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Uv1NOMOU) MALE 05/12/22(Thu)21:06:32 No.48714526 W-Would you like fries with that, sir? maxresdefault.jpg 159 KB JPG C C >I-I used to be a millionaire you know! >It w-was in t-this thing called crypto currency! It was the future! Yeah that's great, can you hurry up with my order? I have places I need to be.

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Anon dumps some hard to swallow IQ pills. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (Goemegr) 06/26/21(Sat)22:31:26 No.327667712327667818>>327668086 2327685429 >>327665089 (OP) Not that anon but I have the IQpills from that thread in text, will dump. >I did IQ research as a grad student, and it involved a lot of this stuff. Did you know that most people (95% +) with less than 90 IQ can't understand conditional hypotheticals? >For example: >How would you have felt yesterday evening if you hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch? >What do you mean? I did eat breakfast and lunch. >Yes, but if you had not, how would you have felt? >Why are you saying that I didn't eat breakfast? I just told you that I did. >Imagine that you hadn't eaten it, though. How would you have felt? >I don't understand the question. >It's really fascinating. We did research on convicts in San Quentin. They're absolute f------ retards, at least 50% illiterate. Anonymous (ID: (Goomegr) 06/26/21(Sat)22:32:20 No.327667818>>327667906 >>327668933 >>327669227 >>327669920 >>327685429 >>327688917 >>327667712 >Other interesting phenomenon around IQ involves recursion. >For example: >Write a story with two named characters, each of whom have at least one line of dialogue. >Most literate people can manage this, especially once you give them an example. >Write a story with two named characters, each of whom have at least one line of dialogue. >In this story, one of the characters must be describing a story with at least two named characters, each of whom have at least one line of dialogue. >If you have less than 90 IQ, this second exercise is basically completely impossible. >Add a third level (frame') to the story, and even IQ 100's start to get mixed up with the names and who's talking. >Turns out Scheherazade was an IQ test! Anonymous (ID: (Goomegr) 06/26/21(Sat)22:33:08 No.327667906>>327667980 >>327684917 >>327685429 >>327686122 >>327667818 >Time is practically impossible to understand for sub 80's. They exist only in the present, can barely reflect on the past and can't plan for the future at all. >Sub 90's struggle with anachronism too. For example, I remember the 80-85's stumbling on logic problems that involved common sense anachronism stuff. >For instance: >Why do you think that military strategists in WWII didn't use laptop computers to help develop their strategies? >I guess they didn't want to get hacked by Nazis? >Admittedly you could argue that this is a history knowledge question, not quite a logic sequencing question, but you get the idea. >Sequencing is super hard for them to track, but most 100+ have no problem with it, although I imagine that a movie like Memento strains them a little. >Recursion was definitely the killer, thought >Recursive thinking and recursive knowledge seems genuinely hard for people of even average intelligence (although at San Quentin there weren't too many of those!) Anonymous (ID: Goemegr) 06/26/21(Sat)22:33:49 No.327667980327668199 >>327685031 >>327685429 >>327667906 >It's the main reason why so many people with sub-90 IQ are sociopathic or psychopathic. They don't have the mental computing power to model other people's thoughts and feelings. I've seen it over and over with convicts. >How do you think that man felt when you beat him? >Dunno. >How do you think that boy's mother felt when she heard that her son was dead? >Dunno. >It comes across as psychopathic, but these people literally don't have the brainpower to build even a crude model of someone else's mind, let alone populate it with events that are in the past. Anonymous (ID: (Goemegr) 06/26/21(Sat)22:35:47 No.327668199>>327673995 >>327679808>>327685429>>327685570 >>327685800327687876 327687892 >>327667980 >I forgot to mention another important part of abstract reasoning, which is 'mapping'. Basically, expressing one thing in terms of another. >For example: >Imagine a picture of an arrow, colored in a gradient from yellow to green, following the direction of the arrow. >Imagine a one-way residential street, with ascending house numbers, with the lowest number being at the entrance of the street and the highest number being at the exit. >If you mapped the arrow onto the street, what color would house number 1 be? >This question really isn't tricky for most 100+s. It has some minor ambiguities, but anyone of normal intelligence can do the 'mapping': that is, the expression of one thing in terms of another. >However, for sub-90's, this stuff is REALLY difficult. They struggle terribly with it. Sub 80's just can't do it at all. >Anything under 90 will routinely make errors with even commonplace mapping (like subway maps, time schedules, etc.) Sub 85s start to get into the territory where they can't learn to read, as symbolic mapping of phonemes (or even morphemes) even with constant drilling, is just too tricky. >Math is another area I could get into, but the long and the short of it is that it's heavily decided by IQ. That's a bit tautological, since it's a principal IQ measurement, but you know what I mean. >As for the criminal narcissists etc: I honestly don't know. However, sufficiently high IQ autists can emulate theory of mind, and do. If you're smart enough, you can build a little simulator in your brain. You also need to be smart enough to appreciate the utility of it. >I suspect that any autist or narcissist over 120 can do this stuff regularly without getting tired, but it's like playing a strenuous game of chess for them. They really don't have the 'hardware' for empathy. That's it. >reeeee formatting f--- you I already reformatted it for normie consumption and have been disseminating it, not retranslating to autist

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Anon relates to Mayans | /r/Greentext

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Anon loves his papa | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 minutes ago 09CFC8C4-39FE-4270-9838-FA5F57F4F14E.jpg (33.4 KB, 500x282) 71949323 it gets better > be me > 18 year old wageslave > wageslave every day working whenever i can > have good dad > never makes me pay for much, tried his best to make me happy and make up for bad childhood > always love him > fast forward a bit, he goes through surgery, cant work, has to stay home and rot until better > unable to pay rent > dad freaks out in silence > he shyly asks if i can help with rent, asks for $400, says he's disappointed with having to ask me > no problem pops.jpeg > go out with friends that night, hit up ATM before going home > go home eventually > dad is outside taking dog out, something is obviously on his mind > walk up to him with $400 and a little extra > he stares at me, takes it slowly > we stand there for a second, he just hugs me > "love you son, thank you so much" > "uhhh, no problem dad, love you" > go inside home > dad is proud of me > happy we're all gonna make it somehow, someway

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Anon spends time with his grandpa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 150 KB JPG 01/24/23(Tue)11:17:15 No.71949109 >grandpa asks me to go to a party with him >running low on money so free meal is free meal >10 other boomers are there, some even bring kids along like grandpa >things go very casual, everyone grills and talks about family >they are actually chill it's pleasant to sit with them, one of them teachs me how to do metallurgy in backyard >ask another one why they are gathering here >"oh we were in the Ku Klux Klan together" what the hell you guys said that they were dangerous with guns and s---. but they are actually boomers who just want to have good time. 8 Replies View Thread

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Anon is anti-wasp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 06/28/22(Tue)02:18:12 No.880981822 >be me >enjoying my delicious icecream >a wasp lands on me >"hehe it wants to be my friend" >stings me >pain.png >I swat it away. >I find the wasp nest where it came from in my backyard. >I don't have any pest control items >i declare war on the wasps and toss whats left of my icecream on the wasp nest. >I go to work >Hours later, i come back and see ants have invaded the tree where the wasp nest was located. >The wasps go a------ and attack the incoming ants >The ants let the rest of the ant colony know that the ants are under attack. >Incoming massive ant army >Wasps are now under attack >Individual wasps are held down by ants and stung repeatedly. >Must be 1000 wasps vs 100,000 ants. >I listen to soviet march music from the game red alert 3 on repeat and watch a massive insect war breakout for a solid 3 hours. >Eventually the ants start breaching the wasp nest >Wasps abandon their nest with their young. >Yeah f--- them wasps, serves them right. >Next day, i see many corpses of fallen ants and wasps. >Everyday I salute the ants for their service and brave sacrifice before i go to work. >I love ants.

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Anon should have bought a Switch | /r/Greentext

Xbox will force gamers to power down to fight climate change, touting the first 'carbon aware console' ANDREW CHAPADOS | January 23, 2023 fy in xbox climate.jpg 175 KB JPG >in the middle of Gaylo 7 >about to kill the end boss >*system message pops up* >"Dear sers and or madam, we will now shut down the console for 3 hours to save the climate. Our system has detected that you are a white male, due to your privilege and carbon footprint the shutdown period has been lenghtened by 2 more hours". >"Gaylo 7 will resume in 5 hours. Thank you for your patience." F--- I should have bought a switch

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Anon plays a game of d&d | /r/Greentext

File: berk pepe.jpg (102 KB, 1338x885) F------ NORMIES REEEEEEEEE GREEEFEESSU Anonymous 12/14/17(Thu) 15:33:36 No.753817649 >finally get a d&d game going >really big berserk fan >thought it would be funny to make a pepe guts as a PC >we go out and smoke a blunt >friend goes rogue >first quest is to hunt a boar >intimidate a guy to give me his bow >give the bow to rogue >this guy f------ sucks >misses first shot he fires it flies into a bush and we get attacked by goblins >he tries to attack with his dagger >rolls a 1 and accidentaly throws away his dagger >forgets to pick it up afterwards >finally found the boar >rogue tries to sneak up on him and tries to attack >DM reminds him he doesn't have a dagger >put the boar out of his misery >drag him back to town >waytoostonedforthis.jpeg >rogue asks if he can slip a finger up the boars ass >i encourage him to just put his whole arm in it >the madman attemps it >rolls a f------ 20 >DM tells him his arm is up to the shoulder in a boar's ass and that the boar didn't even notice >my turn >told the DM i want to use my brute strength to put him further in >he's up to his waist now >get only half the reward because the boar was mutilated >party agrees to not smoke and play d&d again

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boomer moment?? | /r/Greentext

Obamna 01/24/23(Tue)09:51:07 No.893187613 >going in a walk with parents >Married couple asks me to take a picture of them >refuse and say no sorry i dont want too >they laugh >parents criticize me all the way home Was i wrong here, i dont even know those people, why should i give a f--- Since when are you not supposed to refuse things now

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