d------ friends. Anon should immediately move on and make other friends. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 74 KB JPG 11/05/21(Fri)18:18:02 No.66039722 >be me >was supposed to go to 6 flags with my friends today >bought everyone tickets >get dressed up, and do my hair up and have been keeping my skincare routine up so i have a clear face >finally get to wear my nice clothes beyond playing dress up in the mirror >and finally can wear my hair jewelry outside >today is the day >wake up to a cancellation text signed: everyone >disappointed but oh well eat a chicken sandwich and go workout in my homegym >in between sets i see a pic posted in the discord of all of them at six flags >play crab game and delete my discord im honestly hella sad rn i genuinely dont even know why they couldnt just be honest

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Something about military reform,tanks and dingus. | /r/Greentext

>>56808913 # There are two ways to run a military: with your brain, and with your d---. In 34 KB JPG academic parlance this is the "warrior mindset" vs the "professional soldier" but those labels are insufficient. We all make terrible f------ decisions when we're horny - for example I was facefucking a dude last night and he was obviously trying to pull of my d--- and I didn't let him. It was super hot, but it was also behaviour which is beneath contempt and which I regret. The point is that you know what I'm talking about. First, understand that this is not an analogy. It's literally the same thing at play: your brain overriding your faculties of reason to force you to engage in behaviour which is, objectively, stupid. And there is a certain appeal in the idea of hordes of heavy armour thundering across the plains. Modern tech makes an M1 Abrams much more effective but an M60 Patton is about the same size and makes about the same amount of noise so it doesn't matter what you KNOW intellectually: twenty M60 Pattons is always going to make you horny in a way that a single M1 Abrams can't. And if the Pattons are going to take high casualties then that's a GOOD thing, because you get to set your jaw and growl around your cigar that "that's war," and that everyone else just can't handle the truth, while you jerk yourself off into a bodybag under the table with your other hand. You can't f--- a tank but you do use it to pick up girls and to convince other men not to f--- your girls or else. The purpose of power is to get sex: tanks are power. More tanks = more power. Thus, "reformers," and you are not equipped to argue with people like this unless you understand that their positions are insincere in a way that they themselves don't even recognise. They're not stupid, they're horny. If only there was such as thing as ego- c------, because one journey through post-nut clarity would leave them weeping the bitter tears of a man caught sniffing his little sister's dirty panties.

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Anon dances for a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/19/23(Thu)17:55:01 No.892913974 >>892916079 >>892916351 >>892916975 >>892917531 >>892918231 >>892918499 >>892918752 >>892919011 >>892919600 >>892920189 >>892920765 >>892921039 >be me >waiting to crossing the road >pretty lady stops her car for me to cross safely >smile and put my hand up to say thanks >she leans her head out the window and points up >I STOPPED FOR THE TRAFFIC LIGHT YOU RETARD >me pause >turn 360 degrees and moonwalk back into middle of road to block her car >traffic light goes green >stand there doing the micheal jackson thriller dance routine >she beeps her horn lots of times >keep dancing >car door opens and she jumps out >she runs at me roughly 12km/h >kicks me in the balls with her black louis vuitton heels >fall over >she grabs me by the hair and drags me onto the pavement >look up and ask her for her phone number >she spits in my face and calls me a creep >walks back to her car and drives off >contact the police and explain what happened >they suggest i contact a lawyer >provide me with cctv footage from a shop on the road the video doesn't have any audio so i need a girl to recreate the noises for me because it was so sexy, i have a domination and foot fetish myself so it was a dream come true that this happened in real life, should i hire a prostitute to come over and record the audio or would a femanon be able to help me out? Anonymous 01/19/23(Thu)18:26:29 No.892916079 >>892917841 >>892918443 >>892918586 >>892918820 >>892919496 >>892916355 >>892916890 >>892917378 >>892913974 Wait at that crossing tomorrow until she comes past again and block the road again with your dancing, but keep your phone in your pocket with the audio recording and you can get it for free instead of wasting money on women. Work smart not hard Anon.

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Anon is a chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous egg service ylcoo @ylcoooo OMGG??? 01/19/23(Thu)15:07:04 No.892920448 2d Well, it finally happened. Our mean ole backyard rooster, HeiHei, attacked the baby child!! We were SO lucky that he didn't do any more damage than he did. Half an inch, and she would have lost an eye! Nevertheless, he got what was coming to him! 9 mama don't play when it comes to her babies. HeiHei nuggets for dinner! DO 11.5K 8.9K comments 30.3K shares Screenshot_20230119_120248.jpg 375 KB JPG >be family pet chicken, 6+ years of working egg service >attack kid once : >gets chopped up and fried into chicken nuggets >kid eats me with ketchup on hand >mfw

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Anon literally plays his girl like a fiddle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)05:10:43 No.860871920 6 KB JPG >really f------ love eating my girl out >love hearing the sounds she makes >one time realise she makes a different kind of moan depending on what I'm doing >the sounds she makes vary in pitch, I can make her make specific noises at will >try to play the Darth Vader theme on her >almost got it >she snaps out of euphoria the second she figures out what I'm trying to do >mood killed instantly >she doesn't trust me down there again >tfw I'm not allowed to eat p---- anymore

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Anon plays vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous jesus f--- 121 KB JPG 01/23/21(Sat)17:36:44 No.62000148 >be me >quarantining >continue my fallout addiction >bank over 1000 hours >get burnt out >i get back into skyrim >only have about 50 hours >h-------- theres a lot i missed >cant stop playing >my new addiction >i play constantly >ffw to today >redecorating my room irl >finish >im so exhausted >damn that was a lot of work i better quicksave >what >mfw

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Anon does what is called a pro gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 3 Replies 01/19/19(Sat) 19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. View Thread 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 Anonymous >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu

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Anon is now free to use 'nifty' | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/23(Fri)00:02:39 56 KB PNG No.892928170 >an old black man just called me "brother” H--------, did I just get the n word pass!?

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Anon is a connoisseur of the classics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous M 01/19/23(Thu)15:17:27 No.71888541 >Neon Genesis Evangelion is a MASTERPIECE because the Mmain characters are mentally ill BOERDERY 12 KB GIF 01/19/23(Thu)15:20:23 No.71888573 : Anonymous >>71888541 (OP) # because asuka is hot and misato is hot i havent seen the anime

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Baby roulette | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/19/23(Thu)20:22:17 No.892921076 >>892921146 >>892921770 >>892921875 >>892922198 >>892922255 >>892922734 >>892923098 >>892923446 >>892923639 >>892924197 >>892921000 >be yesterday night >girlfriend's birthday >she is russian >we haven't had sex yet >been dating for 10 months >buy her a big box of condoms >attach a card with a note on top of it >explain that i used a pin to put a hole in 1 of the 100 condoms >it's like russian roulette but without a gun >she opens it >reads the note >her face looks like her pet dog had been shot in the head >ask her if she likes the present >tells me she would rather it had been a gun >says there is no way i would ever risk having a baby with you >she went upstairs and locks herself in the bedroom >me sleep in the sofa i don't think she is on her period so what the heck is going on with this women? Anonymous 01/19/23(Thu)20:23:49 No.892921146 ► >>892921496 >>892921726 >>892921802 >>892922085 >>892921076 You idiot, russian roulette is a 1/6 chance of the bullet firing, but your condoms are only 1/100.. did you fail math at school? Pierce 15 more condoms with your pin and then write an apology note and slip it under her door.

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Femanon is incredibly based. | /r/Greentext

it, they can then they deserve to die. Anyone Anonymous (ID: (wlaVvN6w) 07/01/22(Fri)20:42:31 No.384849170 >>384849539 >>384852126 >>384854224 >>384855620 >>384856181 >>384856611 >>384857116 >>384858702 >>3848614 File: 1647036720144.png (241 KB, 499x499) Anonymous (ID: vuHq+68d) 07/01/22(Fri)20:46:27 No.384849539 >>384852064 File: 1622949656299.png (129 KB, 500x458) >>384849170 (You) God this is so f------ based beyond belief. 1488>>384852024 >>384846342 (OP) I'm in it. It's a lot of incompetency.. I've also learned enough to make it very entertaining. I've learned how to roast and redpill women simultaneously in their language: Compliment them according to their gender rules. I regularly offend my all-female team this way to watch them seethe at the consequences of their own protocols. I'm autistic; I fill an extra quota and am slightly more I watched her try to hide the raw hurt of being called an ugly sheman in her corporate safespace. I watched it slowly sink in, the confusion of knowing that feeling offended was against her beliefs, That the other NPCs were smiling enthusiastically and not refuting it, rational to offset the sea of estrogen, so big tech drools over me. I'm basically unfireable. E.g.: My least favorite coworker was extending our useless meeting for no f------ reason, so I told her that she and the token t----- had the same cute hairstyle; with their strong features, they were like twins! Maybe as she cried in the bathroom she questioned: Do I truly think trannies are women if I feel insulted when compared to one? But probably not - I've never found that my female counterparts think very deeply when emotional. She took a sec to wonder if she could tell HR that a disabled autistic woman complimented her and a female-representing coworker and made her uncomfortable (no). I'm feminine enough to notice the subtle shock glossing a woman's eyes when you just said something so hurtful, she will think about it on and off for the rest of her life. Something that really digs past all of the constructed social intricacies and stabs her in the natural-born insecurities of the femininity they betray constantly. We meet every week. I wonder if she will ever accept the fact that I told her to her face that she looks like a disgusting t-----, and watched as her NPC brain forced her to smile and thank me for it. But I rest easy knowing that there is absolutely nothing she can do about it.

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Anon likes BBC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/23(Thu)16:30:05 No.892907954 Perfect Man He's Sweet and Decadently Rich! Just How a Man Ought to Be! 20230118_173528.jpg 1.98 MB JPG >The mainstream knows >the capitalist confectioners know it >We know it >your bitch knows it. Why are you all so slow to realize what the rest of the world has already accepted? You have been outcompeted by a superior organism.

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Anon makes a fren | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/21 (Sun)20:45:31 No.138718405 >Call Amazon customer service >I'm informed the call center guy is speaking from Egypt >Turns out to be the most to 44 KB PNG professional, most polite call center guy I've ever interacted with >Thank him a lot >"Always at your service Sir" >Before leaving I ask him if he's actually Egyptian >"Yes" >congratulate him on his perfect Italian >"Thanks, I invite you to visit Egypt, the country of the the Sphinx and the Pyramids, one of the seven wonders of the world" >Haha wow thanks! >"I've worked with Italians before. You can visit my city which is located there near there, you'll love it there" >Thank him so much, and ask him his name again >He knows mine from the screen I felt /international/ love bliss bros. I now have a new Egyptian fren

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