Anon finds a simpler way. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 30 KB PNG 01/05/23(Thu)12:49:37 No.71704668 >be me >sociable, but incapable of talking to women in a non-platonic way >have lesbian friend >frequent hugs because thats how women act with their friends in this part of the world >no longer feel touch-starved >no longer feel desperate for a gf its that simple anons

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon notices something about Spider-Man 3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?

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anon is sexually deranged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)13:38:20 No.71754650 >be me >4am >schlicking >power cuts out (typical where I live) >vantablack.png >it's so f------ dark >wave my hand inch away from my 42 KB JPG face, can't see s--- >start to imagine I'm in a horror movie >there is someone out to get me >he is going to r--- and murder me >scenes of me being brutally strangled and beaten vividly appear in my head >he's molesting my unconscious body on my bed, in my childhood home >c-- to the thought Why did god make me like this? 2 Replies View Thread 01/09/23 (Mon)15:15:19 No.71755254 : Anonymous >>71754650 (OP) # Because me and the gang have been watching you for some time. Throw out the flashlight. : Anonymous >>71754650 (OP) # I hope that you actually get r---- and strangled OP 01/09/23 (Mon)15:38:12 No.71755386

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Anon fucks up his love life | /r/Greentext

!!!! O god dammmit Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:45:03 No.71752745 [Reply] ► >>71752830 >>71753027 >start talking to 9/10 trans women, passes perfectly, even cute when they wake up/no makeup >talking for a few months >ask her to iceskate >she says yes >i (legitamately) get ill 2 days before and cant go >she's been distant ever since >still talk, but she's not as enthusiastic did I just fumble the opportunity of a lifetime? How can i recover? also blah blah transgender groomer jews blah blah blah suck my penis + 3 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:51:39 No.71752830 >>71752745 (OP) You could try offing yourself nextime instead of whining about your boring love life on 4chan.

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Anon is regretful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 185 KB PNG 01/09/23 (Mon)16:05:33 No.892296624 >just paid for p--- 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is already possessed by stupidity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)23:46:30 30 KB JPG 3 Replies : Anonymous No.33793869 This is a silly thread but I'm curious. Is there a possible way to be demon possessed and get all of the benefits but still be in control? Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)23:48:23 No.33793876 View Thread : Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)23:49:47 No.33793883 01/08/23(Sun)23:49:49 No.33793885 >>33793869 (OP) # >possessed >in control m8 do you know what possession is?

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anon thinks he's part of the black community | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 01/09/23 (Mon)13:15:54 No.71754518 I am a white n----- >mouth portrudes forward >strong brow ridge >big lips >low impulse control and long term thinking >secretly think everyones out to get me >iq 110 so it's not because im low iq (about average) Im 100% white but with the spiritual traits of a n----. View Thread

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Anon is jealous | /r/Greentext

File: C7D28B8C-A3EC-4FFB-98C2-F(...).jpg (117 KB, 750x750) 0 ONE I PICK THE PERFECT SOY JA TO PORTRAY VOU AE YOUR LIFE IS FUCHINGA OVER O Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)09:07:19 No.71752334 [Reply] ► >be me >cashier at work >checking out a girl going through my line >this guy approaches her out of nowhere and they hit it off >he asks her to get coffee and she accepts >while giving her his phone he drops this huge glass jar of artichokes he was holding >mfw im standing there cleaning up all the glass and artichoke water all over the floor while he just secured a date with a girl >mfw >> Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:08:39 No.71752343 ► i dropped a bulk jar of phat pickles once as a kid lol

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Anon has social anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 01/08/23(Sun)17:58:23 No.71751479 >have social anxiety >legit cannot talk to people >they just assume I'm retarded >hate my existence for this >try my best to talk more >every attempt gets shot down by a condescending remark guess I'll just kill myself then

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Anon works at the gas station | /r/Greentext

File: a09.png (387 KB, 680x708) old guy toilet incident Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)20:03:33 No.10555629 [Reply >be me >work in s----- petrol station >deal with 12 year old chavs/roadmen on a daily basis >yesterday an old man walks in >maybe 80 years old >I am at the end till >nobody is fueling up so only him inside here >he asks my coworker who is stocking up shelves if he could use our toilet >he says yes and points around the shelf to the toilets >I watch him walk in while drinking a redbull >a few minutes pass by >he walks out with a 10 metre long toilet paper tucked in his ass >he wiped is ass with the end bit scraping across the white floor >he slowly walked in a circle around all the outer aisles smearing s--- with his new tail >he walkes out of the shop

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anon is confused by weed | /r/Greentext

File: marijuana-or-cannabis-lea(...).jpg (135 KB, 957x1080) Vector Stock ok.com2005 Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:07:22 No.892238394 [Reply]► >>892239905 >>892239945 What the f--- is the point of smoking this s---? >Smoke weed >Immediately get hungry and/or thirsty >Laugh at s--- that isn't even funny >Too lazy to do anything that requires physical effort >Get paranoid for no reason >Have to smoke more after 60-90 mins or you're barely high anymore This has got to be the biggest meme "drug" out there. At least with alcohol you feel good and want to do s---, as long as you don't drink too much. The only upside weed has is there is no such thing as smoking too much, because worst that'll happen is you fall asleep. So I guess if you want something "safe", weed makes sense but that's where it ends. + 1 reply and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:37:40 No.892239554 File: romans-15-32.jpg (68 KB, 688x360) 12 The Sy

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Anon has figured it out | /r/Greentext

>Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton have a secret love affair >she becomes pregnant, and gives the baby up for adoption to a poor family >have the mother move the Europe, to avoid it possibly getting out to the public >their son grows up to be Andrew Tate I would believe it.

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Anons brother sustains brain damage | /r/Greentext

>brother is an incel >or was one, can't really be called anything nowadays >he was extremely deep into the subculture >tried hanging himself in December >we managed to save him at basically 58 KB JPG the last second >but he got major brain damage >ever since recovering, he can't form a meaningful sentence, and every other word he says has the suffix "-cel" attached to it >basically sounds like Boomhauer except reading the incel wiki >for example, we were making some porridge for him to eat recently, since he has trouble swallowing >kept calling us "porridgecels" and "breakfastcels" all other sorts of nonsense insults with "-cel" attached >whenever the news comes on, he starts hurling racial epithets with "-cel" attached (you can guess what they're like) >also attaches "-maxx" to random words, like "I'm hungrymaxxed" or "I need to shitmaxx" >threw a coke can at the Amazon delivery guy today and called him a "wagemaxxed mailcel"

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