anon thinks he's part of the black community | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 178 KB JPG 01/09/23 (Mon)13:15:54 No.71754518 I am a white n----- >mouth portrudes forward >strong brow ridge >big lips >low impulse control and long term thinking >secretly think everyones out to get me >iq 110 so it's not because im low iq (about average) Im 100% white but with the spiritual traits of a n----. View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is jealous | /r/Greentext

File: C7D28B8C-A3EC-4FFB-98C2-F(...).jpg (117 KB, 750x750) 0 ONE I PICK THE PERFECT SOY JA TO PORTRAY VOU AE YOUR LIFE IS FUCHINGA OVER O Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)09:07:19 No.71752334 [Reply] ► >be me >cashier at work >checking out a girl going through my line >this guy approaches her out of nowhere and they hit it off >he asks her to get coffee and she accepts >while giving her his phone he drops this huge glass jar of artichokes he was holding >mfw im standing there cleaning up all the glass and artichoke water all over the floor while he just secured a date with a girl >mfw >> Anonymous 01/09/23(Mon)09:08:39 No.71752343 ► i dropped a bulk jar of phat pickles once as a kid lol

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Anon has social anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 01/08/23(Sun)17:58:23 No.71751479 >have social anxiety >legit cannot talk to people >they just assume I'm retarded >hate my existence for this >try my best to talk more >every attempt gets shot down by a condescending remark guess I'll just kill myself then

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Anon works at the gas station | /r/Greentext

File: a09.png (387 KB, 680x708) old guy toilet incident Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)20:03:33 No.10555629 [Reply >be me >work in s----- petrol station >deal with 12 year old chavs/roadmen on a daily basis >yesterday an old man walks in >maybe 80 years old >I am at the end till >nobody is fueling up so only him inside here >he asks my coworker who is stocking up shelves if he could use our toilet >he says yes and points around the shelf to the toilets >I watch him walk in while drinking a redbull >a few minutes pass by >he walks out with a 10 metre long toilet paper tucked in his ass >he wiped is ass with the end bit scraping across the white floor >he slowly walked in a circle around all the outer aisles smearing s--- with his new tail >he walkes out of the shop

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anon is confused by weed | /r/Greentext

File: marijuana-or-cannabis-lea(...).jpg (135 KB, 957x1080) Vector Stock ok.com2005 Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:07:22 No.892238394 [Reply]► >>892239905 >>892239945 What the f--- is the point of smoking this s---? >Smoke weed >Immediately get hungry and/or thirsty >Laugh at s--- that isn't even funny >Too lazy to do anything that requires physical effort >Get paranoid for no reason >Have to smoke more after 60-90 mins or you're barely high anymore This has got to be the biggest meme "drug" out there. At least with alcohol you feel good and want to do s---, as long as you don't drink too much. The only upside weed has is there is no such thing as smoking too much, because worst that'll happen is you fall asleep. So I guess if you want something "safe", weed makes sense but that's where it ends. + 1 reply and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:37:40 No.892239554 File: romans-15-32.jpg (68 KB, 688x360) 12 The Sy

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Anon has figured it out | /r/Greentext

>Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton have a secret love affair >she becomes pregnant, and gives the baby up for adoption to a poor family >have the mother move the Europe, to avoid it possibly getting out to the public >their son grows up to be Andrew Tate I would believe it.

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Anons brother sustains brain damage | /r/Greentext

>brother is an incel >or was one, can't really be called anything nowadays >he was extremely deep into the subculture >tried hanging himself in December >we managed to save him at basically 58 KB JPG the last second >but he got major brain damage >ever since recovering, he can't form a meaningful sentence, and every other word he says has the suffix "-cel" attached to it >basically sounds like Boomhauer except reading the incel wiki >for example, we were making some porridge for him to eat recently, since he has trouble swallowing >kept calling us "porridgecels" and "breakfastcels" all other sorts of nonsense insults with "-cel" attached >whenever the news comes on, he starts hurling racial epithets with "-cel" attached (you can guess what they're like) >also attaches "-maxx" to random words, like "I'm hungrymaxxed" or "I need to shitmaxx" >threw a coke can at the Amazon delivery guy today and called him a "wagemaxxed mailcel"

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They say single dads can't do it alone | /r/Greentext

01/08/23(Sun)16:51:05 No.892274123 Anonymous >be single dad >the mum died in a hot air balloon "accident" >daughter has started developing boobs >asks me to take her bra shopping >tell her the shops have run out of stock >bee stings poking out her tops 24/7 >suddenly becomes more popular at school >her grades have improved due to confidence >gym teacher invite us over for dinner at parents evenings what have you do to help your kids get an advantage in life? 01/08/23(Sun)16:53:03 No.892274234 Anonymous >>892274061 idk but i guarantee the gym teacher will give her an A+ if you first him let give her a D

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ah yes, Earthsquare, now that’s an RPG game | /r/Greentext

THE WITCHER ASSASSINS OF KINGS ITT: games from the world of bizarro Anonymous >The Muggle 2: Protectors of Peasants Anonymous 01/07/23(Sat)14:45:33 No.8506368 >Sekiro: Light Lives Once >you can't resurrect when you die C Anonymous 01/07/23(Sat) 14:54:35 No.8506421 >God Is Unlikely to Laugh >Justice: Mortals Among Others >Awake Cats >Everyone Lives Forever >Project I.S.H.: I'm Staying Here >Wooden Equipment Liquid 2: Daughters of Oppression

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Doctor cures Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)20:41:53 No.892270605 >>892270734 >>892271483 >>892271835 >>892271929 >>892272064 >>892272266 >>892272817 >>892273189 >>892273913 >>892274453 >>892270675 >>892270385 >go to see the doctor >tell him i am a sex addict >dreams about r----- women >notice a bulge in his trousers but ignore it >he tells me about prescription sex dolls at the local clinic >awesome >attend an appointment there >three different skintones to choose from >pick the white one >unlimited access in a private room to do whatever i want >a women talks through a loud speaker in the other room >she roleplays and moans like an asmr youtuber >throw all my other meds in the bin It has been 3 weeks since I started and my head is so much clearer after every visit, I got off unemployment, I have a small social circle of friends who play board games together and the doctor has invited me out to go swimming with him next weekend. We're all going to make it bros, you just got to make the first step. >>892274390 Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)20:51:23 No.892271137 >>892274639 >>892275014 >>892275654 >>892271201 >>892270675 I guarantee that women in the other room is a gay guy using a voice changer and watching you via a hidden camera, but otherwise I'm happy for you.

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Anon encounters Dream stans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)11:27:00 No.64535436 >be me >Talking with friend >Mention a dream I had last night >The moment I say the word "dream" a wormhole appears >It's a bunch of dream stans 17 KB JPG >I must have summoned them by mistake >They charge me and begin to attack >The stench of their unwashed bodies almost makes me pass out >Somehow manage to stay conscious >They're virgin strength is starting to show and they nearly overpower me >Conjure up my own virgin strength from years for 4chan and reddit usage >Obliterate the little s---- into obscurity I will not rest until all of the cringe is destroyed. I will do what I must. 4 Replies View Thread

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David "Free Drinks" Davidson | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:38:53 No.892260964 >>892265909 >>892266 >>892266359 >>892266540 >>892266764 >>892267312 >>892267389 >>892267951 >>89226 >>892268640 >be at dinner with cute girl >she hasn't talked to me at all >>892260964 (OP) >only drinking glasses of wine >not eaten any of her food >ignores me when i try to start a conversation >what do? >> Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)17:50:42 No.892261519 >>892261581 >>892260964 (OP) Another one bites the dust, she has you in her phone under the name "free drinks" Anonymous 01/08/23(Sun)19:19:25 No.892265909 >>892266149 >>892266367 >>892266857 >>892267302 >>8922679 >>892268436 >>892268638 >>892268744 >>892269330 File: 1659473846098384.jpg (151 KB, 1024x819) I'm on a dinner date what do I say she's so cute and I'm nervous

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Anon has a fucking unbelievable job. | /r/Greentext

File: 1250171675.jpg-(12 KB, 289x219) I accidently my laser 0 Anonymous 08/13/09(Thu)09:54:35 No.152616551 [Reply] My job is so f------ unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f------ stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f------ dog to work. Every f------ day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f------ day. Anyway, I drive these f-------- around in my van and we solve mysteries and s---. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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