anon tries to educate gamers | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD. GAME OVER Quit playing video games, you're wasting your life away! >You have one life and there is no part 2. >While you're playing, your friends are getting money and getting girlfriends. >Your sibling is depressed and has no one to talk to while you're playing your dumb f------ game >Your parents will soon die and you will not be able to remember any moments with them cause you played f------ games >You will soon turn around and realize you're 40, haven't achieved s--- in life and you're to old to start anything worthy. >You think you're ugly now? Imagine what you'll look like when you're older. Now it's the best time you'll ever have. Every following year will be worse. You have one life. There is no "part 2". Stand up, right now, leave the f------ game and start living and doing things with other humans. This is probably the last chance you'll have.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon summarizes the current bread and circus show | /r/Greentext

File: ezgif-3-50e9b68be1.png (717 KB, 1200x630) Anonymous (ID: XfVAAHUU) 01/04/23(Wed)15:30:50 No.410888093 ► >>410888670 >>410888722 >>410888741 >>410888804 >>410889156 >>410889309 >>410889652 >>410889870 >>410890080 >>410890166 >>410890611 >>410890702 >>410891056 >>410892310 >>410892400 >>410892426 >>410893287 >>410893638 >>410893765 >>410894256 >>410894490 Massive f----- loser RINO Kevin McCarthy has lost 5 votes in a row in a historic shameful and pathetic display of his ability to lead and instill confidence. Circumcised c--- sucking f----- Kevin McCarthy can only lose 4 votes, he is currently losing 21. QRD: >Republicucks won the house >Now they have to vote for a speaker, it is the first order of business before anything else >You can't do ANYTHING without a speaker of the house, can't even swear in new congress >Speaker of the house is one of the most important positions in American government it is third in line behind Vice President and President >20 TRUE AMERICANS are preventing congress from doing ANYTHING by refusing to vote for a traitorous jew c--- licking p------------ McCarthy >They can keep this going FOREVER and effectively shut all of government down Has this ever happened before? Yes, but it is extremely rare the last time this occurred was 100 years ago 34th Congress (1855): 133 ballots 31st congress (1849): 63 ballots 36th congress (1859): 44 ballots 16th congress (1819): 22 ballots 17th congress (1821): 12 ballots 26th congress (1839): 11 ballots 23rd congress (1833): 10 ballots 68th congress (1923): 9 ballots 118th congress (2023): 6 ballots (so far) <---- YOU ARE HERE

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Anon might have more than just allergies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 01/04/23(Wed)17:16:15 No.892041535 >>892041914 # >wake up >go on about morning routine >bouta leave >put on glasses to drive >start sneezing uncontrollably for three solid ah minutes Is y'all feel me on this or nah? Why does it happen like that? >every. day. this happens. every. day. : Anonymous Whitest post I've ever read. >>892041914 # 01/04/23(Wed)17:17:45 No.892041612 : Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)17:19:31 No.892041698 Start taking allergy pills every day then. Move where you keep your glasses. I don't know, I'm not a f------ doctor. Maybe you should talk to one.

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Anon is a tiny ratman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 0oedbbzp) 01/04/23(Wed)17:40:40 No.410861905 >>410862270 >>410862307 >>410862655 >>410863040 >>410863109 >>410863248 File: ikit-claw.png (1.52 MB, 1385x1413) >>410860633 >Make a vast tunnel empire. >be me >tiny ratman >big-smart rat brain >settle under-below pointy-ears >yes-yes >pointy-ears find-see us >demand coin-money to live below-down >s----f---.svg >summon clanrats to fight-combat pointy-ears >bring up ratling gunners to shoot-shoot through clanrats >3000 ratmens deployed >900 pointy-ears deployed >shiny rock bullets fill the air-sky >all pointy-ears dead >congratulate last 236 ratmen for big-smart brain tactic >pointy-ears didn't even get within 1 mile-kilometer of clanrats >pointy-ears failed to kill-die a single clanrat >mfw ratling gunners expended all ammo-bullets >mfw

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The American dream | /r/Greentext

7 KB PNG >be me >american >wake up next to my sister as usual >ask her to wake up the kids >wife is overdosing on xanax so she doesn't say anything >whatever.jpg >order doordash cause my bitch sister didn't make breakfast >tip mandatory 500% >take one of my 45 glocks and go to work with it concealed >see the neighbors kid trying to collect his football from my lawn >dump my whole 33 round mag into him for trespassing >realize I used hollow point >realize I wasted 33 dollars on this stupid f------ kid >go back inside and shoot myself due to crippling debt and obesity >wake up in a hospital bed >doctor hands me a bill for 750k dollars God I love this country

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Anon has very, intense feelings for Octavia | /r/Greentext

1662427276684.jpg 28 KB JPG >her face when you eating out her cloaca under the sheets

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Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

File: saj_pepe.jpg (37 KB, 792x589) 306 01/04/23(Wed)23:04:48 No.892028751 [Reply] >Be me College student living the dorm life >Go to bar with friends >Chugging alcohol.png >Start talking with this qt3.14 >She's French and lives in the same dorm >Much fun.exe >As a group decide to go to club >Language barrier immerse >Start kissing instead of talking 2 hours later >I'm tired, wanna go home >She wants to stay >I order bolt with friends and we go home >Get home go to sleep >Have this weird dream that the qt3.14 is in my room half naked arguing with my roommate and taking her pants off >Wave at my roommate and go back to sleep >Wake up >Tell my roommate about the weird dream >He starts laughing >He tells me that she came into our room arguing with him that she will have sex with me >She is only in her bra >"You have to take your pants off if you want to have sex" >I get up and wave at my roommate, after which I go to sleep again >She looks at my sleeping ass disappointingly and decides to leave Mfw I'm still virgin

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Anon has PTSD due to Kirby Pinball music | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/21/12(Tue)02:40 No.151962394[!] >>151962697 >>151962772 >>151962835 >>151 >Playing Kirby's Pinball Land on my gameboy >Need to go brush my teeth >I brush my teeth in the bathroom attached to my parents bedroom >Parents were already in bed >Open their door with gameboy in hand >See my mom's ass up in the air as she bends over with her face around my dad's d--- >"ANON GET OUT!" >Kirby music still playing None of you know my pain. Imagine seeing your mom give your dad a BJ while this music plays. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F4gG7rXw1s Seriously, listen to that s---.

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Anon chats to western guys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)18:23:50 No.892019602 >>892019962 >>892020573 >>892020750 >>892021349 >>892021593 >>892022024 >>892022692 >>892022906 >>892022990 >>892023289 >>892023926 >>892019335 (OP) >be indian >work in call centre scamming old people >earn $1 every week >hear about new job opportunity >wages are $1.20 weekly >wow! >sign up >western onlyfan girls need help replying to chat messages >sounds fun >spend all day flirting with 40 year old men >get really horny and love it so much >idea >rub my d--- furiously >setup fake paypal account with girls name >tell them s-- stories about how tough my western female life is >say western parents take percentage cut from onlyfans earnings so i don't get much >roleplay i'm their little girl and they are my new daddy >they send me weekly pocket money to the paypal >tfw earning more than every else in the centre >i am literally earning more money than my boss, best job i have ever had

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Anon uses deodorant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My brother is a tard >be me, have brother who has been living with me for 2 y >a year ago he came in the room while i was applying picrel >he instantly flips his s---, screaming at the top of his lungs that he is allergic to this deodorant and how can i not know this about him >i didnt know he was and was surprised as ive been using it for years >his face turns red and his eyes start watering and he starts coughing and sneezing to a point where we had to give him allergy pills > f--- it, start using other s----- deodorants so i dont accidentally kill him Rexona 01/04/23(Wed)19:08:24 No.71690424 125 KB JPG > year goes by >yeaterday he comes home from the store and brings 5 of picrel telling me they were on sale and asking if i want one >w-- >thought you were allergic to this s--- >he is genuinely confused and looks like he doesnt know w-- im talking about >i remind him of what happened a year ago > acts even more confused and tells me ive lost my s--- and he never had any allergies >picks up a can of rexona and sprays it under his pits >leaves >mfw

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Anon has a good thing going and is about to piss it all away for nothing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Uhh...guys? 36 KB JPG 09/14/20(Mon)18:44:26 No.57433665 Recently I convinced my girlfriend to swallow me after oral, which of course is awesome. But something strange has happened...her deadlift and squat 1RM PRs have increased 21 and 17 percent respectively in the last 2 weeks. Now after our workouts she demands to suck my c---. Last night she even got me erect against my own will. I'm worried she grows stronger by the day, should I strike her down before it is too late? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon finally understands Twilight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16 24 57 No.150079078150079193 >150079231150079258150079449150079600150079790150079005150000021150000 117 >>150080506150080690150080756 >>150086927 >>150087196 >1500672631500077501500053251500094541500936352150094527150096450 File: Id.png (499 KB, 1047x1572) fond dents >1500812421500952099-150082326150082396215000445150084745150084905150004902150055323150085352 Stephanie Meyer wrote a book that was a remake of Twilight with every character's gender swapped Anonymous 04/26/21 (Mon)18.54.14 No. 150084902150096603 >>150079078 what the f--- I finally get it So it's now a story about a sullen loser high school boy who gets systemically stalked and pressured into a relationship by a borderline psychotic vampire girl that's constantly internally struggling with her desire to f--- him outweighing her desire to eat him, who then protects him from an even more predatory vampire girl who simply wants to torture and devour him, then she later gets into a feud with a muscular and athletic Native American werewolf girl that is also in love with him Anonymous 04/26/21 (Mon)23:31:26 No. 150096603 ► File: 6sfha4wsu5x11.png (122 KB, 750x422) >>150096994>>150097169150097731150097982 I get it now. >>150084902 Damn, now I feel bad for making fun of Twilight all these years. What the f--- happened to me? 2150096312

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anon took a shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 432 102 KB JPG 01/04/23(Wed)17:08:00 No.892015555 >be me >14/15 year old >just took a huge s--- >no toilet paper >decide to not call anyone to pass me toilet paper for some reason >look around for anything to use >see sister's pads >felt awkard and weird af but it worked >when i'm done i see a warning on the package saying not to flush them >think nothing of it since i've flushed loads of stuff with that warning and nothing happened >few hours later >dad goes to the toilet and comes out 2 seconds later >calls down my sister >hear them shouting at eachother >go in and see toilet completley flooded with pads and s--- floating around >completley destroyed >sister obviously gets the blame >nobody ever believes her when they say it wasn't her >years later and nobody knows it was me >sister still gets made fun of because of it

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