File: saj_pepe.jpg (37 KB, 792x589) 306 01/04/23(Wed)23:04:48 No.892028751 [Reply] >Be me College student living the dorm life >Go to bar with friends >Chugging alcohol.png >Start talking with this qt3.14 >She's French and lives in the same dorm >Much fun.exe >As a group decide to go to club >Language barrier immerse >Start kissing instead of talking 2 hours later >I'm tired, wanna go home >She wants to stay >I order bolt with friends and we go home >Get home go to sleep >Have this weird dream that the qt3.14 is in my room half naked arguing with my roommate and taking her pants off >Wave at my roommate and go back to sleep >Wake up >Tell my roommate about the weird dream >He starts laughing >He tells me that she came into our room arguing with him that she will have sex with me >She is only in her bra >"You have to take your pants off if you want to have sex" >I get up and wave at my roommate, after which I go to sleep again >She looks at my sleeping ass disappointingly and decides to leave Mfw I'm still virgin

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has PTSD due to Kirby Pinball music | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/21/12(Tue)02:40 No.151962394[!] >>151962697 >>151962772 >>151962835 >>151 >Playing Kirby's Pinball Land on my gameboy >Need to go brush my teeth >I brush my teeth in the bathroom attached to my parents bedroom >Parents were already in bed >Open their door with gameboy in hand >See my mom's ass up in the air as she bends over with her face around my dad's d--- >"ANON GET OUT!" >Kirby music still playing None of you know my pain. Imagine seeing your mom give your dad a BJ while this music plays. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F4gG7rXw1s Seriously, listen to that s---.

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Anon chats to western guys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)18:23:50 No.892019602 >>892019962 >>892020573 >>892020750 >>892021349 >>892021593 >>892022024 >>892022692 >>892022906 >>892022990 >>892023289 >>892023926 >>892019335 (OP) >be indian >work in call centre scamming old people >earn $1 every week >hear about new job opportunity >wages are $1.20 weekly >wow! >sign up >western onlyfan girls need help replying to chat messages >sounds fun >spend all day flirting with 40 year old men >get really horny and love it so much >idea >rub my d--- furiously >setup fake paypal account with girls name >tell them s-- stories about how tough my western female life is >say western parents take percentage cut from onlyfans earnings so i don't get much >roleplay i'm their little girl and they are my new daddy >they send me weekly pocket money to the paypal >tfw earning more than every else in the centre >i am literally earning more money than my boss, best job i have ever had

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Anon uses deodorant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My brother is a tard >be me, have brother who has been living with me for 2 y >a year ago he came in the room while i was applying picrel >he instantly flips his s---, screaming at the top of his lungs that he is allergic to this deodorant and how can i not know this about him >i didnt know he was and was surprised as ive been using it for years >his face turns red and his eyes start watering and he starts coughing and sneezing to a point where we had to give him allergy pills > f--- it, start using other s----- deodorants so i dont accidentally kill him Rexona 01/04/23(Wed)19:08:24 No.71690424 125 KB JPG > year goes by >yeaterday he comes home from the store and brings 5 of picrel telling me they were on sale and asking if i want one >w-- >thought you were allergic to this s--- >he is genuinely confused and looks like he doesnt know w-- im talking about >i remind him of what happened a year ago > acts even more confused and tells me ive lost my s--- and he never had any allergies >picks up a can of rexona and sprays it under his pits >leaves >mfw

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Anon has a good thing going and is about to piss it all away for nothing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Uhh...guys? 36 KB JPG 09/14/20(Mon)18:44:26 No.57433665 Recently I convinced my girlfriend to swallow me after oral, which of course is awesome. But something strange has happened...her deadlift and squat 1RM PRs have increased 21 and 17 percent respectively in the last 2 weeks. Now after our workouts she demands to suck my c---. Last night she even got me erect against my own will. I'm worried she grows stronger by the day, should I strike her down before it is too late? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon finally understands Twilight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16 24 57 No.150079078150079193 >150079231150079258150079449150079600150079790150079005150000021150000 117 >>150080506150080690150080756 >>150086927 >>150087196 >1500672631500077501500053251500094541500936352150094527150096450 File: Id.png (499 KB, 1047x1572) fond dents >1500812421500952099-150082326150082396215000445150084745150084905150004902150055323150085352 Stephanie Meyer wrote a book that was a remake of Twilight with every character's gender swapped Anonymous 04/26/21 (Mon)18.54.14 No. 150084902150096603 >>150079078 what the f--- I finally get it So it's now a story about a sullen loser high school boy who gets systemically stalked and pressured into a relationship by a borderline psychotic vampire girl that's constantly internally struggling with her desire to f--- him outweighing her desire to eat him, who then protects him from an even more predatory vampire girl who simply wants to torture and devour him, then she later gets into a feud with a muscular and athletic Native American werewolf girl that is also in love with him Anonymous 04/26/21 (Mon)23:31:26 No. 150096603 ► File: 6sfha4wsu5x11.png (122 KB, 750x422) >>150096994>>150097169150097731150097982 I get it now. >>150084902 Damn, now I feel bad for making fun of Twilight all these years. What the f--- happened to me? 2150096312

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anon took a shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 432 102 KB JPG 01/04/23(Wed)17:08:00 No.892015555 >be me >14/15 year old >just took a huge s--- >no toilet paper >decide to not call anyone to pass me toilet paper for some reason >look around for anything to use >see sister's pads >felt awkard and weird af but it worked >when i'm done i see a warning on the package saying not to flush them >think nothing of it since i've flushed loads of stuff with that warning and nothing happened >few hours later >dad goes to the toilet and comes out 2 seconds later >calls down my sister >hear them shouting at eachother >go in and see toilet completley flooded with pads and s--- floating around >completley destroyed >sister obviously gets the blame >nobody ever believes her when they say it wasn't her >years later and nobody knows it was me >sister still gets made fun of because of it

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anon has always been special | /r/Greentext

‒‒‒ First time you realized you're probably autistic thread? First time you realized you're(...) 72 KB JPG >Be me >Be about 6 >Don't want to go to school tomorrow >Have an idea >But I must. I must not go to school >Pick it up, close my eyes and pinch my nose >Bite.exe >Try to swallow as quick as I can, fail >Coats inside of mouth >Vomit s--- everywhere >Try and brush my teeth : Anonymous >If I'm sick, I don't have to go to school >I need to get sick >I know what has germs on it >Go to bathroom, lay fat log on toilet paper >Reeks, nearly gag just from the smell >Toothbrush stains brown and stinks >Mfw I wake up next morning not sick >Mfw I still have to go to school 1/04/23(Wed)11:06:19 No.71690399 : Anonymous I was scared to tell my parents what happened so I still used that toothbrush for another few months until I "dropped it" in the toilet >>71690399 (OP) # What in the name of Jesus Christ did I just read. >>71690399 (OP) # pls no tell me this isnt real anon i dont want it to be real 01/04/23(Wed)11:07:30 No.71690412 01/04/23(Wed)11:09:13 No.71690434

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anon meets the milkmail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.21 MB JPG 01/04/23(Wed)08:53:43 No.71685582 >be me >Order a mail from the milkbox online, 34 yen for samurai >wait weak for Aristotle >Milk man k nok on door >Nobody: not a single soul: >Youre mail is her >Come take, I am milkmail >I pay for service >Happy milk when >Merry 2010 >Me at 4.23 AM on December 2nd 2007 >The world is everything that is the case

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anon describes a position of the Bible in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)08:58:56 No.892015091 אהיה אשר אה trollgod.jpg 145 KB JPG ה אשר אהיה >be God >Tell Abraham I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah >He oy veys about the good people who are living there >Agree to spare it if there are 50 righteous people there >He jews me down to 10 >Be omniscient >Know damn well there aren't even 10 good people in the cities >mfw : Anonymous 01/04/23 (Wed)09:14:52 No.892015863 >>892015091 (OP) # >floods the entire earth before that "God is perfect"

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Anon is touch starved | /r/Greentext

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Anon pavlovs is co worker | /r/Greentext

Ⓡ 451 KB PNG >assigned to do a project with a co- worker >whenever we do some progress or get past a roadblock say the word "stupendous" >do it for a couple weeks >co-worker eventually starts picking it up >pavlov.png >co-worker starts saying stupendous as well in the same situations >stop saying it >ffw 1 month, project pretty much done >just cleared the last bug, co-worker says stupendous >allacordingtoplan.wav >"huh? that's an unusual expression" >"what do you mean, anon? I heard it from you" >"i never used that word in my life" see you soon on the board, fellow schizo

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Anon loses attraction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 12/23/18(Sun)08:23:08 No.50003572 >think a girl likes you and have a hige crush on her >all the signs >always looking at me and smiling, always pays attention to what i have to say >touching me >always happy to see me and always says hello >find out shes the same with another guy >instantly lose attraction

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Greentext Stories - Anon had a dream | /r/Greentext

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File: saj_pepe.jpg (37 KB, 792x589) 306 01/04/23(Wed)23:04:48 No.892028751 [Reply] >Be me College student living the dorm life >Go to bar with friends >Chugging alcohol.png >Start talking with this qt3.14 >She's French and lives in the same dorm >Much fun.exe >As a group decide to go to club >Language barrier immerse >Start kissing instead of talking 2 hours later >I'm tired, wanna go home >She wants to stay >I order bolt with friends and we go home >Get home go to sleep >Have this weird dream that the qt3.14 is in my room half naked arguing with my roommate and taking her pants off >Wave at my roommate and go back to sleep >Wake up >Tell my roommate about the weird dream >He starts laughing >He tells me that she came into our room arguing with him that she will have sex with me >She is only in her bra >"You have to take your pants off if you want to have sex" >I get up and wave at my roommate, after which I go to sleep again >She looks at my sleeping ass disappointingly and decides to leave Mfw I'm still virgin

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