Anon loses attraction | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 12/23/18(Sun)08:23:08 No.50003572 >think a girl likes you and have a hige crush on her >all the signs >always looking at me and smiling, always pays attention to what i have to say >touching me >always happy to see me and always says hello >find out shes the same with another guy >instantly lose attraction

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's mother has cancer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)14:02:00 No.71688737 [Reply]► >>71688786 >>71688815 >>71688859 >>71688873 >mom has cancer >isn't able to walk or speak coherently anymore >most of the time she is asleep >it's just waiting for the inevitable hug your moms robots O Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)14:07:15 No.71688786 ► >>71688737 (OP) that's so fugging sad man I hope you're trolling □ Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)14:07:41 No.71688794 ► File: FPr6sliXSAMAvYe.jpg (81 KB, 599x509) I'm sorry, friend. How are you? ☐ Anonymous 01/04/23 (Wed)14:09:51 No.71688815 >>71688737 (OP) >hug your moms robots I told my mom I hope she dies from cancer. Worthless bitch

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Anon works at a gun range | /r/Greentext

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Oxygen Tank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 4 Replies 12/19/22(Mon)16:28:33 No.69309932 I saw an old man with an oxygen tank at the gym today. Made me realise there literally is no excuse. View Thread : Anonymous 12/19/22(Mon)16:29:43 No.69309947 If I ever get to the point where I need an oxygen tank to live just kill me instead.

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Anon's dad leaves him a live grenade. | /r/Greentext

ile: 1251246526.jpg-(1.29 MB, 2048x1536, gren.jpg) 1803 The Evil Machinist !!ntQ7 Amcmo5D 08/25/09(Tue)20:29:58 No. 155355111 let me see the bottom of it >>155355111 Look what I found!!! Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:28:46 No. 155354835 So, I was looting through some stuff my dad left when he died and I found this. The old bastard had a live grenade!!! It seems kinda old,but looks ok to me... What would /b/ do with it? Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:34:34 No. 155356086 File1251246874.jpg-(1.32 MB, 2048x1536, bottom.jpg) bottom >> Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:29:13 No. 155354940 grenade in pooper noticias.com.gt Noticias de Guatemala Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:35:36 No. 155356297 It's plastic lololol PORTADA NOTICIAS NACIONALES DEPARTAMENTALES Anuncios Google Árbol Familiar Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:40:03 No. 155357247 File1251247203.jpg-(1.23 MB, 2048x1536, metal.jpg) Muere joven al estallar una granada en el baño de su casa >> Oscar López Ortega, de 17 años de edad, fue hallado muerto tras registrarse una explosión en el interior de su casa, elementos de la policía llegaron al lugar de los hechos a las 8:45 PM de ayer al domicilio ubicado en zona2, barrio moderno, cerca del cerro del carmen... 0 COMENTARIOS Compartir en Facebook >>155356297 no plastic dimwit, is all metal INTERNACIONALES Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:39:02 No. 155357029 toss in toilet. don't flush. wait for epic fountain Flash Anonymous 08/25/09(Tue)20:44:16 No. 155358159 File1251247456.jpg-(1.23 MB, 2048x1536, gren2.jpg) Gobernador del estado de lluevo Aug 26, 2009 9:30:38 AM ECONOMÍA Historia Familiar CONGRESO >>155357029 En fotos Localizan avioneta desaparecida después de 2 años mmm, should I?

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anon does some introspection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)17:22:37 No.71687712 787A2803-4B44-4195-BF69-262E1E77B4CB.jpg 47 KB JPG You ever just sit there after watching something extremely sexually degenerate and very questionable on a random site and just go >wow that is some very good acting And call it a day to protect your psyche

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Anon knows the witcher is doomed without Cavill | /r/Greentext

Lauren S. Hissrich @LHissrich-5 h I can't imagine a better day. The #Witcher writers' room opened today, and it was full of ideas and banter and cupcakes and creativity and darkness and champagne and this hilarious picture that's better than any of the posed group selfies I attempted. It's happening. Traduire le Tweet 152 ♡ 1,0 k ♥ They ruined The Witcher Anonymous 12/29/22 (Thu) 12:01:54 No.178460045 >>178460056 >>178460092 >>178460100 >>178460122 >>178460154 >>178460172 >>178460268 >>178460271 >>178460359 >>178460481 >>178460562 >>178460695 >>178461028 >>178461081 >>178461135 68 Poor Henry Cavil just can't catch a break. The guy was basically run off by Lauren Schmidt- Hissrich and the lousy feminist writers who just have to turn the whole thing into another estrogen soaked d--- soap opera. Blood origin? Yeah that's just what we want to see. A nagging menopausal old Asian woman with a cheap prop sword nagging all the men. BO Anonymous 12/29/22(Thu)12:18:52 No.178460695 >>178461131 >>178461423 >>178465813 >>178467428 >>178467709>>178468649 >>178468887 >>178469038 >>178470374 1672123318955457.png (97 KB, 1080x323) google yandex iqdb wait an entire industry that's spiritually just a little girl trying to annoy her brother by making his GI Joes have a tea party

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Character design conspiracy | /r/Greentext

homunculus-argument If I ever start drawing a comic with human characters in it, for variety in character design I'm going to just start browsing /soc/selfie threads on 4chan, and whenever I come upon a pic of a guy who looks visually interesting, I'm just gonna copy that. The statistically most likely option is that literally nobody will ever find out. The far, far less likely but infinitely more hilarious option is that one day in the far distant future, some dude who browses 4chan picks up a small-publisher comic, starts browsing through and halts on a side character like "what the f------ s--- that's me." onlygot1hinge : Anonymous 06/01/22(Wed) 23:50:28 No.879311945 Screenshot_20220601-233122.jpg 118 KB JPG >start watching a new show with my roommates >was suspicious of the concept at first but damn, it's actually got an interesting premise and gorgeous art, well written and everything >second episode in, already invested, when in the middle of a scene two of my roommates burst out laughing and the third one yells "SEE? F------ TOLD YOU!" >he hits pause >new character that was just introduced looks exactly f------ like me >down to the f------ haircut >show remains paused until they're done laughing about how the f--- does that even happen >never been more f------ baffled by something in my life, but try to act normal despite of seeing my own goddamn face on an animated screen >continue watching with them and do my best to just seem nonchalant about it >internally get mildly obsessed with this little guy >never read fanfiction in my life but look some up purely out of curiosity and satisfy some weird craving I've never had before >h-------- there's so much p--- >some of it incredibly sweet and gentle, some deeply f----- up >apparently doing both in the same story is a whole genre of fanfiction >there's women out there who would yearn to deeply brutalise, comfort, or do both to this sad mad scientist cripple shrimp guy >who f------ looks exactly like me >become invested in self-insert fics >there's girls writing themselves into the world of the show for no other reason than to f--- this sad little man >who looks like me >mfw it truly, deeply, viscerally, sinks in for me that the true reason I can't get laid is because of my personality 78 notes

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Anon is making changes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.46 MB PNG 03/04/21(Thu)13:44:12 No.62601435 >be me >jerking off to weird s--- >about a millisecond before climax I stop for no reason >get up and take a cold shower >while in the shower realize time is running out >realize I only have a few more chances if I want to get anywhere in life I gotta get organized. I hope today is the day start. View Thread

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Anon hates Life | /r/Greentext

I just... I just cannot believe this is it. This is life. There is no magical third act where I am the star in some fantasy adventure. I won't suddenly gain superpowers and fight cartoonish villains. This is it. This is all it will ever be. 50 more years of quiet, drab misery. Our one shot at consciousness is spent on something so unimaginably boring. My "gift" of sentience is spent wageslaving, consuming media, messing around with hobbies that will never fill the void, eating, s-------, cleaning. And that is all there is. 164 KB JPG

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Anon chose the wrong tunes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/23 (Wed)09:27:41 No.26224061 gonna hijack this thread for a eurobeat related story >be me >enjoy driving slightly fast on empty road at night >blast eurobeat the whole way through >one night decide to slide around in snow >fwdautomaticsuv.dorifto >but i made one fatal mistake >i forgot the eurobeat >start sliding out to the left >no worries i got this >overcorrect to the right >i got this >literally spin 180, and start going backwards >i might be in a bit of a pickle here >crash into snow mound >during all of this, toto's africa was blasting on my phone overall would rate the experience a 6/10, have to dock some points because i couldn't listen to toto for months after

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Anon becomes stinking rich | /r/Greentext

: OP 324 KB JPG No.178752383 01/04/23(Wed)11:17:56 This is a true story of how I became stinking rich. >be me, middle-aged man >on the streets of a small village, famous for its pubs >"STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP!" >"Gather round, folks. You won't regret it!" >"You there. Old lady. Do you grow weary of dragging your t--- all over the floor everywhere you walk?" >"How about you, old man?" >"Are you laying rope instead of pipe?" >"One sip of this elixir here - straight from the fountain of youth itself - and you could be balls- deep inside a DRAGON before the sun sets tonight." >"Don't believe me? Observe." >I then take a sip of the potion in my hand, after which I miraculously turn into a younger version of myself, right in front of their very eyes >The old man's eyes grow wide as he s---- his pants >"Youth. Sweet, blissful youth. Yours for the low, low price of 7000 galleons." >before long, the crowd almost starts murdering each other to grab a vial of my potions >right before the old lady drinks her potion, I disapparate, straight to Gringotts to deposit my fortune, where I took picrel If I stayed any longer, they would have noticed I sold them polyjuice potion mixed with goblin pubes, and only drank from the batch containing hair from my youth.

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Anon's theological debate | /r/Greentext

MINECRAFT THE WILDURDATE 4 KD, Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)15:11:14 No.623155121 >be me >playing Java minecraft on this massive survival server >decide to build underwater city >think I called it the rapture republic after Bioshock ▶>>623156632 >built a tunnel that would lead to the main hall, where other glass tunnels would lead to different sectors built a wall of signs in the main hall with what was essentially a mini constitution, it started with no Gods, no Kings, only man >built farms to sustain myself as I expanded the city to have a sector for farming >log off and go to work >got called into work three days in a row, so no time to play >get back to the server to find the city intact, but everything stolen except for a single flower below a sign where my temporary farm was, sign said sorry >go to main hall with a single sign saying there is only one God, and that's the Macho Man Randy Savage >wasn't even angry, just confused

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