"straight" | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)16:58:00 No.891911149 >>891911230 >>891911372 >>891912381 Any other straight guys have a suck buddy? I'm straight, but single. But met another single straight guy on an adult Reddit sub for my area, and we give each other b------- weekly. Obviously I'd prefer a girl for casual action, but that's not possible currently. Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)16:59:39 No.891911230 ► >>891911678 >>891911149 (OP) # >I'm straight >I suck d--- pick one

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon browses r9k | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 162 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)23:56:53 No.71669920 >browse r9k every once in a while >can physically feel the suicidal thoughts I haven't felt in months come back Genuinely impressive how bad this place is for your brain

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Anon discovers spring theory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Spring universe is a terrifyin(...) 36 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)08:26:18 No.891880054 >be me >human >makes a gigantic f----- >doomed to repeat this exact same f----- for all eternity >mfw there's nothing I can do about it

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Schizo anon foretells the next few days | /r/Greentext

: The weather has cooled (ID: a0cDyNbe A warning 01/02/23(Mon)23:40:42 No.410676212 Timeline of the next few days: >January 3-7: Ukraine war escalates at an unprecedented rate >January 8: Russia drops nuke in uninhabited area as a show of power and threatens to nuke NATO if they don't withdraw from the Ukraine 78 KB JPG >January 9-10: Futile attempts at negotiation >January 11-13: Full nuclear exchange between NATO and Russia. China may join as well. This will be your only warning. If you survive, carry a 4 of clubs so we know who to trust. Memorize the following phrase and say it to fellow survivors so we can identify each other: >The bear has left its cave and now the rod and ring await This will be your only warning.

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Anon is being emotionally manipulated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 99 KB JPG 12/28/17(Thu)22:35:13 No.42102948 >tell my mom my new year's resolution is to lose weight and eat healthy and exercise >she thinks I'm doing "to make her look bad" >try to tell he that's not true >she thinks my dad is making me do it >try to tell her I haven't spoken to him in years >try to tell her I just want to feel better and look better >she starts crying and saying I'm fine just the way I am >she starts hugging me and won't let me go unless I promise not to be a "health freak" >tfw had to promise not to be a health freak >tfw she ordered an XL pizza for dinner and made me eat it all 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon on the trinity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue) 12:38:51 No.71669759 untitled_design_35_edit_178922765038620.png 346 KB PNG >The holy trinity of virginity

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anon discusses narrative arcs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 10/18/18(Thu)13:08:20 No.17952955 >mc impregnates his love interest Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)13:10:31 No.179529627 43 KB JPG >mc impregnates the antagonist >>179529719 # >>179529742 # >>179531528 # >>179533579 # >>179533857 # >>179535150 # >>179535343 # >>179535777 # >>179535834 # >>179538528 # >>179539537 # >>179540069 # >>179541156 # >>179544124 #

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Anon's dad is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)02:06:03 No.71667589 1664459191880150.png 777 KB PNG >New Year's Eve >Hug my dog because it's fluffy and cute >Dad: Are you hugging the dog? >Me: Yes >Dad: How about you find a girlfriend and hug her? How about that? Every single time...

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Anon owns a big truck | /r/Greentext

Lori+Ovanessian-2823.jpg 133 KB JPG I r--- teslas on the highway by merging directly into them, and watching their helpless drivers as the tesla's machine instincts take control and jolt it out of my way. I do not ask for it's consent. These cars desire to show off their automated cat-like reflexes, the sleek aerodynamics in their curves, and the comfort their boring owners have nestled sleepily inside the tesla's inviting womb. I accelerate my steely F350 fast and hard directly at the tesla and the machine takes control, battery energy pulsing through its quivering engine as it speeds out of way, while its boomer white male's face goes pale and his wife is panting hard, lost somewhere between sudden fear and complete thrill of being dominated. Teslas and their owners on the road secretly ask for this and at night they can only confess to themselves in bed how hard their tiny d---- become, and how their suburban t-- cow wives have to wash their sopping wet target bought panties from my sudden and unprovoked onslaught on their otherwise secure lives. I am a male and I am voting for Ye.

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Anon receives affection | /r/Greentext

01/02/23 (Mon)14:36:43 No.71665918 >leave my soul-sucking room and make my way into the kitchen >grandma surprise attacks me and starts to gut punch me lightly as a joke >think its really cute given that Im twice her size and I could probably beat and r--- her to death >she ends with giving me a hug and asks me what I want to eat Anonymous M 308 KB JPG >go the rest of the day with a slight smile on my face its the little things that matter bros

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Anon makes a cultural oopsie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Did i offend my bf? 365 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)16:17:31 No.28032566 >Be me, F19 in college >texting BF (18) about vacation plans, he's arab/jordanian and I'm 2% milk levels of white >ask where he's going and what he's doing >"you're with your grandparents right?" > "Yep, I'm with my grandpa. We're going to go to Jerusalem to reconnect with his childhood home. He was forcibly displaced at the age of 7, as were the rest of my family. We're going back there. It's where my roots lie and where they always will. I'm very passionate about it." >tism activate >"That's great, you and your grandfather can share the respect and passion of your history/heritage'!" > "...it's not history anon, it's the theft of our culture." >ah beans i messed up "Israel killed and stole with impunity of the last 17 years, 2022 was the bloodiest year for Palestinians at the hands of israel's occupation, and for what? blood and lives gone to waste children shot dead for no reason," >continues on > F--- f--- what do I do what do I say, is offering condolences offensive?

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Anon walks dogs and has zero chill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dog friends 51 KB PNG >mostly young but big dogs with no social skills >every day is new adventure for dogs and bit of exercise for me since i dont like walking alone 01/01/23(Sun)21:22:33 No.71649565 >be me >currently NEET but not broke >nothing to do all day >decide to walk dogs that dont belong to me for fun >we walk around every day for minimum of 1 hour sometimes even 2 hours >made some great pics of dogs >neighbors are always thankful that i walk thier dogs and ask for nothing in return >>71649875 # : Anonymous That is very wholesome anon. original post 01/01/23(Sun)21:28:01 No.71649614 : Anonymous >>71649565 (OP) # i hope all dogfags die 01/01/23(Sun)21:32:21 No.71649664 01/01/23(Sun)21:46:15 No.71649875 : Anonymous >>71649664 # I am sure they will but then again each of their lives will be infinitely more happy and fulfilling then yours will ever be

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Anon discovers shocking truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sins of the Past 71 KB JPG 01/02/23 (Mon)14:09:42 No.891894976 >be me >be 6 years old >first time going to disney world >i was so happy >one day my family spots a worker dressed up as Pocahontas >they wanted to take a picture with her >i refused >they keep trying to get me in the picture until i started crying >they asked why >lie and say its because she is a girl >truth is her skin was red and it scared me Flash forward years later >look my family ancestry >f------ native American royalty on both sides of my family >memories of pocahontas rush back >nooooo >its not true >that's impossible >mfw Anonymous 01/02/23 (Mon)14:32:29 No.891896312 so rather than them thinking you're racist, they just think you're so gay you've got an irrational fear of women

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