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Anon discusses pitbulls | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Dec 29, 2022 at 02:29PM EST
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext dog dog breed carnivore companion dog fawn
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
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![>tells me I look nervous >whatever not terrible start >suddenly >she tries putting a condom on me >I keep getting in the way >Can't even get fully erect >Whatever >Take the L expecting s--- to go bad >but not this bad >It takes me 3 seconds to c-- >no joke 3 seconds >f------ end my life >go to the bathroom to clean myself up >she offers me a wipe >throw it in the toilet by mistake Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)21:54:45 No.71594836 [Reply] ► >>71595033 I just had the goofiest f------ three stooges type s--- happen to me that must be indisputable proof that God hates me. Seriously I must be a world record holder for biggest spaz. >be me >desperate >get a prostitute >arrive late >knock on wrong door twice >apologize >hard to communicate >at this point she's clearly annoyed and disgusted >ptsd to girls in school.jpg >whatever they were nice enough to give me another >right as I go out on my way I accidentally knock over her f------ coffee maker upon leaving >it's the most three stooges type s--- >take 30 seconds to f------ put on shoes without laces because of big feet >so embarassed I leave with them untied as she kicks me out >must have gone down as the biggest klutz in history in her eyes of all clients >step out into the cold >wait 17 minutes for a uber >a couple comes by to rub in their relationship in my face >on the verge of tears >write this out on here as an admission of guilt >it will probably be reposted on reddit where a bunch of neckbeards who dont have it anywhere as bad as me will laugh at it I should have killed myself in November.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/504/155/474.png "Anon Fails Badly | /r/Greentext")
![Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)21:05:12 No.71594350 [Reply] Well I finally did it. I lost my virginity and I'm no longer a robot. This will be final post here: >Be guy in mid 20s >From Fermanagh and live in my pad >Have Polish single mum as a neighbour >She has a teen daughter that goes to the local school >I used to feel awkward, but I treated her like a lil bro >She's a cute little tomboy with a wolfcut that wears Japanese hoodies & baggy jeans >Befriend the daughter since she was 16 but never did anything just talked and went on walks >Sometimes I secretly took her to play snooker, took her surfing in Portrush, went bowling >on her 17th birthday I took her to a DC Fontaines concert in Belfast >When she wasn't studying she would sneak into my apartment and watch her weeb shows on my pc >When she turned 18 I tried my luck and started putting my arm around her shoulder when we watched anime & youtube >One night she showed up at my door crying >She told me her dad returned and started hitting her mother, the police showed up >She cried herself to sleep and woke me up the next morning by pecking my cheek with kisses >She whispered in my ear that she thought I was "a big weirdo" but a "cute big weirdo" >The next night I invited her over to watch grave of the fireflies, it made her emotional >She started hugging me >I started getting super horny and picked her up and put her on the floor I started lifting her little tartan skirt >She remained silent but started whimpering and patting my chest >I remembered that she's autistic so I ignored it as she weakily flailed >I was able to take her knickers off and she felt wet so I stroked myself and awkwardly put it in >The second my c--- entered her the gripping sensation almost made me pass out with joy >F----- her for about 30 minutes and she kept moaning and whimpering >I finished inside of her and felt nervous cause of no condom I washed her in the shower, she was bleeding a bit & crying, I comforted her, she stared at me with her big blue eyes and said she loves me.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/504/029/181.png "Anon Gets Laid | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - Anon discusses pitbulls | /r/Greentext
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Uploaded Dec 29, 2022 at 02:29PM EST
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reddit, greentext, greentext memes, 4chan, 4chan memes, /r/greentext, dog, dog breed, carnivore, companion dog, fawn
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