Anon wants his Karma back | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

24m (12/23 9:21) 891239408-3 Re - 0 Img JPG 171KB (1280 × 1280). honkler_pointing_gun_by_nelex5000_dd9sdhs-fullview.jpg 3 Replies >be me >6 months ago, post a greentext about an experience I had with some females >I didn't have a reddit account, but thought the story was funny, so posted it here >My greentext gets put on r/greentext, entitled 'anon finally gets some bitches >36.1k karma >Some reddit f-- got a bunch of free karma because of me >I have a reddit account now >Now give me my 36.1k karma

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's son is a bean enthusiast. | /r/Greentext

File: 1394244474169.jpg-(9 KB, 213x237, bean boy.jpg) Van Camps PORK BEANS BUSH'S Original BAKED BEANS MONSAN PORTUROINT Anonymous (ID: OmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:07:54 UTC-8 No.536117584 Replies: >>536117858 >>536118120 >>536118921 >>536119247 >>536119863 >>536120170 >>536120548 >>536125258 >>536125648 >>536126167 >>536127594 >>536128661 >>536130663 >>536133304 >>536133929 Anonymous (ID: OmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:18:42 UTC-8 No.536119020 Replies: >>536119430 >>536126167 File: 1394245122737.jpg-(15 KB, 250x250, bush-baked-beans.jpg) So my 12 year old son keeps saying that he is a "Bean Boy" At first I thought it was a stupid game after he went through the cupboard reading names of canned s---. Idk why he got attached to the beans in particular, but now he won't even go by his own name anymore, just names of beans (Ex. today he is Pinto). He says that him and his friends are a bean gang called Bean Boys or some stupid s---. I checked his internet history and it was 85% bean related, and his facebook posts are generally bean related as well. I'm sick of my printer ink being wasted on stupid print outs of bean pictures, and I've recently had $400 dollars in plumbing expenses from clogged toilets. Not to mention the general smell I have to deal with now. So what the f--- do I make of this? Should I take him to the shrink? File: 1394244725089.jpg-(29 KB, 509x541, bean.jpg) Anonymous (ID: btBvuc7/) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:17:59 UTC-8 No be very concerned. Anonymous (ID: hNexEon/) 03/07/14(Fri)18:44:52 UTC-8 No.536122829 Just read this to my girl and we both cracked up said the name changes. pic related, he just asked me to print this stupid s--- out. >> Anonymous (ID: +sGujEFD) 03/07/14(Fri)18:09:52 UTC >>536117958 I'll post pics of all the f------ print outs as well as history screens if it means that much to you. Anonymous (ID: QmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:37:22 UTC-8 File: 1394246242699.jpg-(1.55 MB, 2592x1936, IMG_0328.jpg) >>536117584 (OP) This is the best goddamn thing. גללכם My wife isn't sure what to make of it either. She's growing more concerned, and today was kind of a breaking point. He started this stupid jingle "Baked, kidney, black and green. Beans, beans, they make me want to scream!" I f------ hate my life right now. I'm way too embarrassed to have friends over. Also pic related, whenever he sees this commercial on TV he just about s---- himself, like they are talking to him personally about his "hobby". Could he be schizophrenic. Anonymous (ID: kLrhQGgz) 03/07/14(Fri)18:20:16 UTC-8 No.536119247 >>536117584 (OP) 9/10 >>536119430 >>536119863 >>536120170 These are his f------ misprints, like 10% of the daily prints. Hopefully your story means he is at least one of the cooler bean boys as 'pinto' but like I Anonymous (ID: fmQBDZZ1) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:58:32 UTC-8 No.536124698 Replies: >>536125943 I really hope this is real lol Anonymous (ID: QmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:43:15 UTC-8 No.536122623 Replies: >>536123625 >>536123673 >>536128140 >>536128492 File: 1394246595773.jpg-(1.55 MB, 2592x1936, IMG_0329.jpg) >>536124061 Well my twelve year old is doing exactly that Anonymous (ID: QmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:59:30 UTC-8 No.536124827 Replies: >>536125943 He's also spending a lot of time on this forum http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/legumes/ 85% bean related $400 dollars in plumbing expenses from clogged toilets >>536127104 maybe this too? Pics of son coming up, have to sneak them around wife. She thinks I'm doing work on my laptop lol. Anonymous (ID: /yOQD+Ak) 03/07/14(F File: 1394248469735.jpg-(19 KB, 403x403, 2 >this thread >>536121816 When he falls asleep I will try to get a pic of him, he usually crashes on the couch with some cans. My wife has to move him to his bed WITH the cans or else he wakes up screaming about where his beans went. Is there any way to ween him off beans? Should I just let it pass? Maybe I can get him involved with sports or something to take his mind off of it. He was diagnosed with very mild asperger's syndrome but I am really worried that this "bean' obsession could worsen or agitate his condition. >>536127104 like this? >>536123673 >>536123673 I'm not sure, my son is asleep though. and of course he has two f------ cans of beans with him, I'm not sure what they are. This kid is the bane of my existence lately. I love him to death but for god's sake, it's tearing my family apart. My wife is scared to death that his 'addiction' (that's taking it a little far in my opinion) or at least his behavior will pass onto our two younger children. She has even discussed separating them for a period of time by taking the other two to her mothers. I guess his knowledge of beans is mildly MILDLY impressive for a child, maybe he can do agriculture when he's older if he even makes it to highschool. So he became a bean. >>536124827 >>536124950 >>536124698 My son sleeping with his f------ cans of beans. I think they're chili beans, idk I really don't give a f--- at this point. Anonymous (ID: Yyxtc3j7) 03/07/14(Fri)19:17:23 UTC-8 No.536127215 Replies: >>536127731 >>536128084 >>536128361 File: 1394248643714.jpg-(165 KB, 333x493, 010_evil_beans.jpg) Anonymous (ID: BZAdpduN) 03/07/14(Fri) 19:05:43 UTC-8 No.536125648 >>536117584 (OP) what in the m--------- Anonymous (ID: oPeLgZbD) 03/07/14(Fri)19:17:29 UTC-8 No.536127227 Replies: >>536127365 >>536128361 File: 1394248649867.jpg-(282 KB, 800x600, beans.jpg) I am the Bean Boy. 'Baked, kidney, black and green. Beans, beans, Anonymous (ID: xl/PrXBr) 03/07/14(Fri) 19:06:01 UTC-8 No.536125689 Replies: >>536126396 >>536125258 Can't stop laughing, h--------... Anonymous (ID: QmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri) 19:07:59 UTC-8 No.536125943 Replies: >>536126072 >>536126082 >>536126207 >>536126221 >>536126228 >>536126345 >>536126697 >>536126714 >>536126839 >>536126873 >>536128615 >>536133978 >>536134127 File: 1394248079140.jpg-(1.76 MB, 2592x1936, IMG_0331.jpg) Anonymous (ID: 1mcBvsDF) 03/07/14(Fri) 19:09:02 UTC-8 No.536126072 >>536125943 Jesus Christ this is hilarious Anonymous (ID: fbCd9wdG) 03/07/14(Fri)19:03:04 UTC-8 No.536125313 best thread of the day today he is Pinto Scream!" >>536117584 (OP) Is he Mexican? Anonymous (ID: +sGujEFD) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:18:40 UTC-8 File: 1394245120782.png-(136 KB, 360x360, 1387257074547.pr >>536118621 they make me want to >>536124873 he needs to respect the fact that am paying out the ass in plumbing fees from the onslaught of sewage being pumped through my house. Not to mention he prints 20+ pages of BEANS, not something important, f--- beans every day. Literally binders full of bean pictures. I can't even hold a normal conversation with my son, and my wife is threatening to leave with the other kids to "get a break". I mean it's not our only problem, but the absurdity is driving us both insane. Anonymous (ID: glL+F8cY) 03/07/14(Fri) 18:20:35 UTC-8 No.536119295 File: 1394245235665.jpg-(15 KB, 246x291, 1394056704234.jpg) wut My sides have ascended to a new plane. Anonymous (ID: gVMsTk+F) 03/07/14(Fri) 19:02:41 UTC-8 No.536125258 Replies: >>536125689 File: 1394247761050.jpg-(15 KB, 194x146, 1394244474169.jpg) >>536117584 (OP) Archive this s--- Anonymous (ID: QmfMcGru) 03/07/14(Fri)19:25:40 UTC-8 No.536128361 Replies: >>536128618 >>536128628 >>536128986 >>536129003 >>536129553 >>536130497 >>536127365 >>536127227 >>536127227 >>536127215 "Bean Boy" Anonymous (ID: gVMsTk+F) 03/07/14(Fri)19:11:39 UTC-8 No.536126396 File: 1394248299781.jpg-(7 KB, 107x91, 13942444741691.jpg) >>536125689 Keep laughing. Anonymous (ID: oPeLgZbD) 03/07/14(Fri)19:14:55 UTC-8 No.536126873 Replies: >>536127104 >>536128361 File: 1394248495565.jpg-(71 KB, 400x300, beans_lead1.jpg) >>536126873 and this? >>536125943 OP so let me get this correct: he is printing off bean pictures like this all day? Anonymous (ID: oPeLgZbD) 03/07/14(Fri)19:16:39 UTC-8 No.536127104 Replies: >>536127215 >>536127227 >>! File: 1394248599069.jpg-(6 KB, 369x281, swedishbrownbeans.jpg) >>536127104 >>536126873 Yes, and frankly some of them are horridly familiar to me. He literally prints them off, orders large posters of the ones he likes, gets them framed, even has some f------ NatGeo documentaries on bean farming and countless Food network chili shows or whatever they are. Anonymous (ID: N0Ov3x8z) 03/07/14(Fri)19:42:04 UTC-8 No.536130663 Replies: >>536130851 >>536117584 (OP) Alright, here's what you do. Go into his room while he is sleeping and slowly put some dried beans into his ass He will probably freak out, that's when you get really serious and tell him he is turning into a bean and if he doesn't stop his s--- he will become bean and will be eaten. Then and only then will your problem be solved. Anonymous (ID: CvC69M0M) 03/07/14(Fri)20:32:19 UTC-8 No.536137631 >>536117584 (OP) You told him he could be anything. Anonymous (ID: 4imdhNWG) 03/07/14(Fri)20:02:53 UTC-8 No.536133458 Replies: >>536133754 This is f------ funny I am the Bean Boy.

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Anon has zero situational awareness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 12/22/22(Thu)18:23:43 No.71509702 >Be me, beta f-- >Walking home, late at night >See woman walking ahead. >Shes slow af. >Eventually I catch up to her. >Quicken my pace to pass her. >She starts walking faster too. bitch w-- >Start walking even faster, my footsteps louder than before. >Still cant pass her, see her look over shoulder a lot and fumbling in her bag. I wise up for once >Stop walking and just let her jog ahead. >I think I even hear her s-- or gasp. Maybe I should have just spoken up and let her know I wanted to pass her.

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Anon is Bill Cosby, in Game of Thrones | /r/Greentext

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Anon has the spirit of Quintus Fabius Maximus | /r/Greentext

Culture Crave @CultureCrave A federal judge has ruled that movie studios can be sued under false advertising if they release deceptive movie trailers Traducir Tweet Total Victory /tv/bros, let's go!!! Anonymous 12/22/22(Thu)14:55:13 No.178207516 >>178207601 >>178207646 >>178207686 >Yes, I want to sued Disney for the horrors called Sequel Trilogy, Kenobi, Book of Boba Fett, etc. >I want to sued Amazon for the horrors called Rings of Power, Wheel of Time >I want to sued Hollywood for ruining some many beloved franchises, for ruining action genre with cliches, simpism, sjw, etc. HOLLYWOOD DELENDA EST!

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Anons have a difference in perspective | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 632 KB PNG 12/22/22(Thu)16:41:18 No.891208796 >be me >put some free stuff out on my lawn because I'm moving stuff, has free sign and everything >neighbors threaten to call HOA if I don't take it off my lawn I f------ hate white neighbors Anonymous Anonymous >>891208796 (OP) # HOAs are so f------ retarded. I don't know why you'd ever get involved with one. 12/22/22(Thu)16:58:54 No.891209732 12/22/22(Thu)17:09:22 No.891210236 Stop throwing garbage on your lawn and making your street look like s---. I f------ hate non-white neighbors.

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anon on men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG >men offer themselves up to any woman they meet >women now get to pick from any man they want >this is somehow a "women are too choosy" issue and not a "men are all desperate sluts" issue Male genocide when? 12/23/22(Fri)07:23:36 No.71510416 25 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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> drive them nuts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/22(Wed)16:45:59 No.69333971 >>69332201 # When you don't c-- from f------ a woman it gets in their head. They start asking themselves if they're not attractive enough or not good enough and start thinking there's something wrong with them. My advice to all guys is when you're f------ a woman for the first time take a couple shots of liquor and put some lidocaine or some other numbing agent on your d---. F--- for an hour or then just stop and say you can't finish. This will drive them nuts and they won't stop thinking of ways to please you so they can get their confidence and self esteem back >>69334008 #

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Anon straightens daughter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: gzEC/8ei De-trans'd my daughter in 1 da(...) 12/22/22(Thu)16:53:56 No.409306658 151 KB JPG >daughter says she's trans (9th grade) >wtfdo.jpeg >confess I'm trans too >she's confused >dad no you're not >stop being a bigot Charlotte, let's do this together >wear dress and makeup next morning >daughter is angry, tells me to stop faking >no, I'm trans honey. now get in the car and let's go to school >she's horrified, asks to be dropped off a block away >nope, walk her in, wave to front desk >she's fuming >wife can't stop laughing >pick up daughter, in skirt and heels. s----- makeup, glitter on cheeks. skip your to her and her friends >DAD STOP ITS NOT FUNNY >demand she use my pronouns, call her a bigot >next morning she's done with the whole trans thing, begs me to stop Is being trans now just the 90s version of goth? Definitely not cool when your parents do it. Lean into it and shame them out of it

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Anon regrets horsing around | /r/Greentext

12/21/22(Wed) 23:47:21 No.891172560 : Anonymous > be me > friends own small hobby farm in Central Victoria > they ask me to mind the place for two weeks while they go to a conference on soil salinity in US > some sheep, two cows, and mares, of course > very friendly > to the point where i wonder about the owners > hang around the mares all evening > nuzzling, offering apples and nose rubs > flank rubs > belly rubs > ass rubs > tails are flicking > horse vagoos are winking > gentle exploratory probing with finger > with fingers > they're okay with it > entire hand > back arches > arm up to elbow > odd sound i've never heard from them before, but i think they like it > imagine my arm is an erect horse c--- > plunging in almost to the elbow > back legs drop about a foot, back arches > vagoo contracts around arm like a vice > OH F--- > back legs quivering, vagoo crushes my arm > dislocated elbow > she drags me around the yard by my broken arm stuck in her vagoo > sliding it out is agony > wash off the goo and try to drive to nearest doctor ever try to drive a manual vehicle with one arm, only to find the doctor's office closed two hours ago?

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Anon is a good neighbor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>891159609 (OP) # >neighbour invites me over >his pajeet wife is tied up, face down ass up on the coffee table 12/21/22(Wed)19:18:03 No.891160287 >please f--- my wife >do it >leave >he still invites me over occasionally to f--- her

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