anon tells a NORMal story | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

12/05/22(Mon)15:46:07 No.21346295 we stop at a bar and adam eget says will you take a look at her ass so i look at the waitresses ass and he says tell me thats not going into the book and i say no its not and he says youre telling me that youre not putting that waitresses ass into the book and i tell him no and he says im crazy if i dont put her ass in the book and i tell him hes so stupid he doesnt even know what should be in a book. i tell him it has to be real important stuff especially in the end part of a book and besides no book in the whole world is supposed to be about a waitresses ass and adam eget starts pouting and says whats so special about you that youre better than a waitresses ass and i say im famous thats what and he says whats that ever got you so i look at the stupid idiot and i say ill show you what its got me ill show you right now and i yell hey waiter get over here cause im hungry and he comes over and i ask him what the special is and im lucky cause its chili and not that stupid f------ turkey chili that i hate either but real chili with pieces of beef in it and so i say hmmmmm to stall for time hmmmm and then my finger starts pointing at my name on my snl jacket and some time passes before the waiter says hey arent you famous and i say sure i am and he says you can have the chili for free and i say i want a whole bowl and not a cup and plenty of crackers too and the waiter agrees to the whole thing. im pretty pleased with myself and i look over at adam eget but he isnt sitting beside me anymore cause he is at the other side of the bar standing in front of a tv so i go over to him and he is talking like a robot and he says the toronto blue jays will win their baseball match tonight by two scores and i cant believe what im hearing so i hit adam eget hard on the side of his head and he falls in a crumple out cold. people come around to see what the trouble is and i tell them im a really famous guy and if they dont believe me they can all just read my clothes and i tell them adam eget is a nobody whose life is worth like a hundred words. everyone is cool with that and it makes me think that thats another thing that fame gets you. you can just go ahead and hit a guy hard on the side of his head. i go back to my table and wait for my food and look around the bar to see where the waitresses ass went and then finally the waiter comes back and he says he is sorry but they are just out of chili but that if i want i can have a bowl of turkey chili. can you believe it. turkey f------ chili. story of my life. Anonymous 2.78 MB GIF

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anons want to play with the real good guys | /r/Greentext

Me after killing an entire base of good guys in Wolfenstein New Order, knowing that I have to work with degenerates, f--- a polish and I can't never join the good guys. Anonymous Gaming industry is so tiredsome Anonymous 12/16/22 (Fri)17:26:02 No.408553923► >>408554323 >>408554390 >>408554461 >>408554 >>408554957 >>408555557 >>408555734 >>408555924 >>408556269 >>408556452 >>408556620 >>408556728 >>408556761 >>408557039 >>408557202 >>408557640 >>408557986 >>40 >>408558590 >>408558692 >>408558770 >>408558891 >>408558922 >>408559346 >>408559585 >>408560286 >>408561128 >>408563504 >>408563812 >>408563879 >>408564451 >>40 >>408565135 >>408569085 >>408569548 >>408569893 >>408571362 >>408571480 >>408575149 Wolfenstein New Order: >nazis bad, despite improving civilization in all ways possible >nazis hypocrites for using jewish secret high-tech (da'at yichud) >>408553923 (OP) the whole story is such f------ b------- in these games. >Yes goyim, this half-jewish-polish man DEFINITELY led a rebellion of no more than 10 people and liberated america from natsoc forces who conquered the globe. Oh, btw, all their tech? stolen from secret jewish inventors. >jews (da'at yichud) good, despite having high-tech to improve society and turn Earth into a Paraside, but instead keep it for themselves to ruin the World >"good guys", degenerates, lack of aesthetics >"bad guys", pure discipline, drip granted directly by the Gods Are game devs so stupid that they can't see that they make nazis always the good guys? Are people so stupid that they can't see that keeping the actual status quo is pure evil and jews are behind it? 12/16/22 (Fri)17:32:19 No.408554461 ► >>408554739 >>408556045 >>408556150 >>408559915 >>408565614 F--- off already. I can buy the insanity to an extent, hell, even getting his head chopped off and getting it on a new body. It's fun it's insane and outrageous. Whatever, video game. But the "SECRET JEWISH MYSTIC BASE" was WAY too much propaganda for me to handle. Anonymous 12/16/22 (Fri)17:53:15 No.408556316 >>408554739 >you have space-age tech >still losing against an angry austrian painter and his bois Man, even in games k---- are fookin' ridiculous losers. Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)17:51:18 No.408556150 >>408554461 >the whole story is such f------ b------- in these games. is literally Star Wars, some jud... I mean, jedi teach a desert dude some kabbala... I mean, jedi stuff and with some few degenerat... I mean heroes of liberty destroys the "space reich" >>408565614 >>408554687 >Are the Writers anti-Semitic? Or they are crypto-antikikes or the "a---- blood memory theory" is true and they hate k---- without knowing it Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri) 18:32:35 No.408559915 ► >>408560000 >>>408565614 Anonymous >>408554461 >But the "SECRET JEWISH MYSTIC BASE" was WAY too much propaganda for me to handle. This sucked balls. >Muh ancestral Jewish super-genius society. The amount of c----sucking propaganda in this part of the plot is unreal. >Jews are superhuman, goy, they're Gods (but also victims, never forget the 6 gorillion, goy!!). Yeah right, I'm sure a "super secret" society of Jewish super-geniuses would have let the Nazis kill 6 gorillion Jews without doing anything, right? Oh wait, it's Jews we're talking about, they wouldn't lift their pinkie for anyone, even other Jews, never mind. Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri) 18:29:07 No.408559540 ► >>408560742 Anonymous >>408559346 >Because it made us discover a universe where Nazis won and developed incredible technology, created a base on the moon 15 years before the US moon landing, and pacified the world, getting rid of all degeneracy. The funniest thing about their marketing is that all the "scary" images of the US were absolutely beautiful compared to everything I've experienced. Major US cities that are safe, peaceful, show white men and women dressed respectfully walking around, no crime, no billboards and advertisements, no drag queen story hour in the middle of the street, no pride parade sponsored by JP Morgan and Blackrock. Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri)17:59:42 No.408556864 ► Anonymous 12/16/22(Fri) 18:07:11 No.408557491 >>408555780 Lol the devs got to be crypto-nazis hahahaha. Blitzmensch is clearly the good guy here!! Illegal eagle looks like biden 12/16/22(Fri)17:34:48 No.408554687 ► >>408556150 >>408555924 the worst character was the ex-nazi: >yeah, killing untermensch is based >scheisse, my son is untermensch >noooo!! nazis kill my son, why?! WHY?! >now I'm anti-nazi Fookin' retard that adopted a literal retard, glad he got killed. >>408553923 (OP) >jews (da'at yichud) good, despite having high-tech to improve society and turn Earth into a Paraside, but instead keep it for themselves to ruin the World Are the Writers anti-Semitic? 12/16/22(Fri)17:35:23 No.408554739 ► >>408554802 >>408556272 >>408556316 >>408556494 >>408556561 >>408565614 >>408554461 >Oh, btw, all their tech? stolen from secret jewish inventors. You're underselling how f------ stupid that plot point was. It wasn't just "secret jewish inventors" it was magical secret society from Before Christ that somehow invented space-age technology.

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The Plebbit experience | /r/Greentext

-1669584439959266.jpg (25 KB, 391x391) google yandex iqdb wait ♥ >everyone says she is in the right >"You're Valid!!" Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)15:24:04 No.71431719 [4] [Reply] ✓ >>71433384 >>71433400 >>71433428 >be me >decide to make a reddit account to see if it is really as onions as they say it is >see "Am I The A------" subreddit >its a community where people make posts about their life and redditfags ask them if they are an a------ or not >one of the posts is a guy who left his girlfriend because she had breast cancer, he wants a girl who actually has boobs >95% of the comments tell him he is an a------ and a generally bad person >anyone saying that he is not an a------ gets downvoted heavily >see another post there >It's about a girl who cheated on her boyfriend because he had a micropenis, she wants a guy who actually has a d--- >"NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" >anyone saying she is an a------ is downvoted heavily and replied with s--- like "Found the guy with a micropenis" >make a comment telling her she is a w---- and should kill herself >permanently suspended from the website as a whole >mfw these f------ can't even handle entry level banter These are the same people who say "size doesn't matter". It absolutely f------ does. jesus christ, no wonder the male suicide rate is so high. and heroin/oxymorphone are illegal for recreational use, so people with micropenis aren't even legally allowed to do a drug that feels better than sex. thats why the male suicide rate is extremely high. if you believe in god you're a retard and you're f------ disgusting. there are people with awful awful s--- like schizophrenia, cancer, aids, micropenis, ebola, cholera. an all powerful, all knowing, loving god would not let any of that happen. a loving god would have prevented 9/11 >but muhh free will! An all powerful all knowing god would be able to create a world with free will but also without evil.

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Anon is seeing a weird script pattern in recent high fantasy shows | /r/Greentext

Dragon Age: Absolution Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)11:31:57 No.177995904 ▶ HE JUST WANTED TO SAVE HIS BROTHER NEB!! >he just wanted his sister, Miriam, back in his life >he choose to save his adoptive elf brother instead of his biological human mother, somehow, for Miriam he is evil >he just wanted to end slavery and death (Miriam say no because "she doesn't want to be an object to LITERALLY END SLAVERY", women logic) >he broke the sacred laws of his nation to protect his sister >he tried to find a peaceful way, he didn't want to kill Miriam's friends until he just got piss off of seeing his men dying, he just want to be a good person >his sister killed him because "mother bad" >his sister forgives her lesbian gf, Hira, because "i love her" >Hira betrayed Miriam multiple times (tried to exchange her back to Rezaren to get the Circulum) and killed a common friend, Fairbanks, by "*""accident***** >Miriam unleashed a dragon that killed many of her own people (despite the constant EIFs Lives MaTtEr!!) >Miriam didn't kill Hira, despite Hira wants to do a blood ritual to destroy an entire nation, her nation, because some random fanatics Why the recent high fantasy shows are like this? Apparently women have to be psycho-hypocrites to be the "heroines" and the good guys that try to make a better world always are the "bad guys". Are Blood of Zeus and DOTA: Dragon's Blood as retarded as Absolution or are kino? 'You know what I hate more than elfs, female elfs' - Lord Garithos, probably.

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One new notification! | /r/Greentext

bzzz bzzzz bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzz bzzzz Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)08:27:00 No.890895145 ► >Right >Everyone >Today lets talk >Acrostically about why some people type and press enter >Really fast like this >Don't you >Sometimes >Know >Your thoughts are not that important, nothing you say has any value >Spam leaks out of your fingertips because your dumb brain blob >Needs to make room for more genius thoughts but >It's misleading you into thinking your last thought was also >Genius >Good job you split one sentence onto 10 different lines >Everyone else in the chat hates you and has muted your notifications >Regards, David D. Davidson Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)08:44:23 No.890895692 >>890896750 >>890897306 >>890897916 >>890898158 i can't relate because i don't have any friends, i wish someone did this to me then i could hold the vibrating phone next to my butt hole when the notifications start coming in Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)08:47:09 No.890895765 >>890898425 >>890897786 >>890898033 Guy in my gaming clan does this whenever there is an argument, he just keeps spamming until other people stop talking. Apparently the person who types the last word is the winner, it confirms that his retarded opinions were true all along, everyone else is wrong. Anonymous 12/17/22(Sat)09:36:15 No.890897066 >>890898429 >>890899059 >>890899419 >>890899728 >>890900307 >>890900955 >>890901033 >>890901301 >>890901812 >>890895145 ADHD t---- do this all the time. Block and delete them.

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Don’t say Mormon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Joseph Smith Helen Mar Kimble Married: Age: 37 Age: 14 13 KB JPG 12/17/22(Sat)09:43:56 No.890905406 >Be Prophet of popular cult The Church Of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints >Be cool with being called Mormon. It's technically incorrect, but whatever. >All of a sudden there are woke people. >You can get in trouble for using the wrong pronoun, calling minorities the wrong thing >Whatever, it's a fad. We said the coloreds were cursed by Cain and not 100% people until 1976. Nobody cares anymore >Then God talks to me and says "Let's do some trolling" >It's offensive to say Mormon. We complain every time gentiles say it. Literally no one cares. God Mormons are so lame. Pic unrelated

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DMT is racist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: G3mDpu3w DMT Entities are racist 443 KB JPG 12/16/22(Fri)16:41:33 No.408591777 https://afru.com/dmt-entities-beings-racist/ >One common phenomenon across DMT experiences, or "trips," is coming across DMT entities called machine elves. There are walking, talking creatures that one encounters when taking DMT. >Sometimes the creatures are friendly and reveal deeper truths about the universe, or they might even take your hand and bring you on a journey. >But unfortunately, that's not the experience many Black folks have reported. Black folks can't even escape the scourge of systemic racism in the DMT realm. >One person reported that their first trip was good, but their second trip took a turn for the worst. "This time, instead of the sacred, I was greeted with the profane, and saw cartoons of racist caricatures mocking me. They were malevolent and it felt like I could die," they reported. "As much as the first trip was welcoming and accepting, the second trip was pushing me away and I felt a strong sense of 'NO." >“My friend said that the elves were making a machine and they turned around saw him and they said hey look the (n-word) is back," another person reported. >The most chilling experience reported so far invokes the powerful imagery of the slain Emmet Till. "I was surrounded by the elves, and they all started chanting 'Emmett Till," the trip report began. "I later learned that Emmett Till was a Black man accused of harassing a white girl in the 1950s. I had never heard of this story before, being a Black man who grew up in a white school district. Then, the elves started to rush me and they all picked me up and started chanting the n-word while carrying me. The elves threw me down a black hole and I continued to fall for around 10 minutes until my trip ended."

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Anon tells the adventures of Neal the Tard - 6 Barb the Bitch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Pu51ryFD) 04/09/12(Mon)03:59:27 No.392108083 Neal vs. Barb the bitch >Be in 8th grade still >Be in the final few months of school before summer starts >Kinda sad that i'm not gonna see Neal for a while again >Walking to TardHQ with Neal to in between periods >Neal wasn't paying very much attention, as usual, he was just talking and looking down at his feet as if he was mystified by how the allowed him to walk >I see Barb the bitch walking down the hallway in the corner of my eyes >Barb got this nickname because, well she's a huge bitch, even to tards >Sense Neal wasn't paying attention he walks directly into Barb and knocks her onto the ground >He quickly says sorry and motions to help her up cont. Anonymous (ID: Pu51ryFD) 04/09/12(Mon)04:00:03 No.392108159 Neal Vs. Barb the Bitch finale >The bitch smacks his hand out of the way and starts to yell "WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING" >poordecisions.jpg >Neal takes this as an imminent threat unleashes his short burst roar (his only warning that he is about to slap someones s---) >Barb continues to yell "WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT SOUND NEEDLE D---" >l begin to grow angry with her "Barb what the hell is your problem" >Neal I just puts his arm in front of me like he's telling me he's got this >Neal dives for her legs and she topples over >She struggles but Neal has engaged raptard strength, resistance is futile >He gets into a full mount position on top of her and positions his head directly over hers >The roar has stopped >wut.jpg >All that can be heard throughout the Il is the sounds of phlegm being draw up someones throat Neal >It's >He slowly lets the nastiest lougy I have every seen drip out of his mouth and directly onto her forehead The slowly seeped onto her forehead and then down the sides of her head >Barb proceeded to cry and gag so hard she was choking >Neal sees this as a sign that he has won and releases her from his tard strength grapple >He says "Comepil" motioning over toward the TardHQ >It was as if he erased the memory from his head entirely, and it was glorious Captia: heybarb round S--- was meant to be

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Anon on 4chan | /r/Greentext

File: thispostwaswritten byChatGPT.png (85 KB, 852x1256) 48 ChatGPT is too good. Anonymous 12/13/22(Tue)22:25:23 No.90287182 ChatGPT is insane. >incredibly powerful Al with an extremely easy-to-use and human-like interface >some people using it to write responses for actual conversations with real people >use it to write homework assignments, or at least give a good starting point >answers nearly any question below a grade 11 level >does all of this nearly instantly This can't be sustainable.

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Anon finds the meaning of life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 12/16/22(Fri)14:42:12 No.890861302 >Wake up >Get Burger King for breakfast >Get to work >S--- myself >Go home >Sleep >Do it all over again Is this all there is to life? 12/16/22(Fri)14:44:25 No.890861396 : Anonymous >>890861302 (OP) # No. There's always McDonalds breakfast, better than Bk anyways.

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Anon is a safe and responsible driver | /r/Greentext

>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.

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Anon does DMT | /r/Greentext

File: Psychadelic N-----.jpg (443 KB, 1280x720) DMT Entities are racist Anonymous (ID: G3mDpu3w 12/16/22 (Fri)23:41:33 No.408591777 https://afru.com/dmt-entities-beings- racist/ >One common phenomenon across DMT experiences, or "trips," is coming across DMT entities called machine elves. There are walking, talking creatures that one encounters when taking DMT. >Sometimes the creatures are friendly and reveal deeper truths about the universe, or they might even take your hand and bring you on a journey. >But unfortunately, that's not the experience many Black folks have reported. Black folks can't even escape the scourge of systemic racism in the DMT realm. >One person reported that their first trip was good, but their second trip took a turn for the worst. "This time, instead of the sacred, I was greeted with the profane, and saw cartoons of racist caricatures mocking me. They were malevolent and it felt like I could die," they reported. "As much as the first trip was welcoming and accepting, the second trip was pushing me away and I felt a strong sense of 'NO."" >"My friend said that the elves were making a machine and they turned around saw him and they said hey look the (n-word) is back," another person reported. >The most chilling experience reported so far invokes the powerful imagery of the slain Emmet Till. "I was surrounded by the elves, and they all started chanting 'Emmett Till," the trip report began. "I later learned that Emmett Till was a Black man accused of harassing a white girl in the 1950s. I had never heard of this story before, being a Black man who grew up in a white school district. Then, the elves started to rush me and they all picked me up and started chanting the n-word while carrying me. The elves threw me down a black hole and I continued to fall for around 10 minutes until my trip ended."

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Wagies torment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LYpNykHT) 12/16/22(Fri)20:43:51 No.52906503 wagies rekt r/McDonaldsEmployees M u/fgh4421 10h So im on front counter & this guy walks up & orders. He balls up a 20 & tosses it at me. I asked him to place it in my hand & not throw things at me. He proceeded to make fun of me for working at McDonalds 79 34 Share 527983BF-B7A2-4418-92C5-8F6A3F0B4A8F.jpg 256 KB JPG Award Anonymous (ID: kPGklJuj) 12/16/22(Fri)20:46:04 No.52906530 >>52906503 (OP) # >go to mcdonalds >skip line, ignore whiners >"uh sir?" >order buffalo taco >"we don't carry that" >somersault over counter and place d------- wagie in headlock >people begin to whine more >wagie starts screaming like a deflating balloon >suplex wagie into fryer >leave >>52906558 # >>52906801 # >>52907039 # >>52907591 # >>52907914 #

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