Anon helps mentally challenged guy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Explain this, nerds | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)12:08:30 No.896014 320708.jpg 287 KB JPG >750,000 volts are totally dangerous and deadly, trust me bro @kimdaism

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anon wins the game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: rPXtQ6Nr ) gaming story time 16 KB JPG 02/15/19(Fri)09:29:06 No.203270195 >be me >xboxfag >more of a casual gamer, just play every now and then >pretty good tho >enjoy my time, distracts me from life >enter xxx_pu55ys1ayer_xxx >f------ chad >always joins my games without me inviting him >f---- up whatever I'm doing >makes fun of me >knows I'm a virgin >lol just get laid anon >f------ chad >one day I'm playing cod just doing my thing >he joins >"lol 1v1 me bro" >f------ fine >epicgamertime.jpg >I rain hell upon him with the force of a thousand virgins >he doesn't get a single kill >feelsgood.gif >he's f------ p----- >"F------ AiMbOt" >starts cursing at me >makes fun of me >says I'll never get laid >oh that's it >the camel's back has shattered >plan devised >tell him I'm going to f--- his mom >"...dude what?" >I leave the game and start planning >l use my epic gamer skills to find out where this f----- lives >I show up to his house while he's at school >knock on the door >his mom answers the door with open arms >sweet lady, almost makes me feel bad for what I'm about to do >almost >we go into her living room and make conversation >laughing at all my jokes >I go in for the kiss >she hesitates at first but I'm persistent >manonamission >she gives in to my charm and kisses back >getting steamy >I penetrate her as soon as I hear the front door open >"mom I'm home!" >he walks in just to see me balls feel in the woman who spawned him >look of absolute horror and disgust on his face >he runs out of the house >mom's crying >I leave, my work done >mfw my brother finally stopped joining my games

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Anon loves the holocaust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 11/28/22(Mon)21:45:22 No.71176493 >be me in elementary school >be obsessed with all things holocaust related, not even sure how it started >teacher gives us an assignment to make a presentation about something we are really passionate about >spend 2 weeks making many slides full to the brim with pictures and written information about the holocaust >day of the presentation time comes >most kids make their presentations on things like sports or games they played, went by pretty quickly >well s--- >its my turn to start sharing >start reading from notecards and showing the pictures of the dead jews >teacher stops me about 3 minutes in >"anon, you can stop now" >gets super embarrassed w >get called a retarded nazi until I eventually move schools

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Anon trolls roleplayers in WoW | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)12:20:39 No.764144 >>765489 File: 1664120030929671.jpg (127 KB, 1491x1120) >>761240 >be me >playing WoW vanilla in the ol' days >play gnome rogue >go to elwynn forest >spot 2 female night elf doing /emotes text in the small fort near the border >i stay hidden and throw firecrackers everytime it get a bit spicy >they jump and look around the fort every time >they are low level so they cant spot me >uncloak and /dance between the two >tell zonechat there is a an o--- in the fort >everyone come and /dance >we form a raid and go kill hogger in our underpants >lesbian elves included. It was...another time fren, Now everyone would get mad at me for being transphobe or something. But i just roleplayed a gnome.

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Anon was so close to not being virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TINH LOÀ 737 KB GIF 11/25/22(Fri)10:33:23 No.71120096 >be me >be hitting it off with a european girl on texts >start talking about Mr.H circa 1932- 1945 >she says he was crazy >ask me about him >be funny and eccentric >get ghosted i'm sorry my furhur, looks like i'm going to be jacking off tonight

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Anon found the fated one. | /r/Greentext

>she says yes >omgomgomgomg.png >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck >she stops for a bit and starts laughing >she sits back Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)23:36:44 No.71186470 [Reply] Why am I like this >keep chatting for a while >4 am we go back to our homes >be me >have femdom fetish >find a girl online >8/10 >thicc goth girl >talk to her >meet her >we go to a bar >talk about a bunch of stuff about our lives >thatwasanicetalk.jpg >she gets up to adjust her dress >i was sitting down so she got taller than me >while she was adjusting her dress she was looking down at me like i was her slave >accidentaly say "step on me" >decide to man up >ask her to go on a date do you think she is making fun of me right now anon? she probably told her friends what happened. what does this mean

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Anon is a part of the home gym master race | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 88 KB JPG : Anonymous >>46892035 (OP) # u mirin? : Anonymous >>46893265 # jesus christ anon : Anonymous >>46893265 # oh god >>46893476 # >>46893516 # >>46893615 # >>46893771 # >>46895126 # >>46898829 # >>46899213 # >>46899278 # >>46899320 # >>46899483 # >>46901027 # >>46901181 # : Anonymous Who here /homegym masterrace/? >>46899765 # 07/18/18 (Wed)18:45:20 No.46892035 : Anonymous 60 KB JPG 07/18/18 (Wed) 20:12:52 No.46893265 IMG_1043.jpg 258 KB JPG 07/18/18 (Wed)20:28:13 No.46893476 >>46893265 # >Local man kills himself with home made guillotine >Neighboors heard the victim scream "LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!" right before the deed 07/18/18 (Wed) 20:39:04 No.46893615 07/18/18 (Wed) 22:21:51 No.46895126 07/19/18(Thu)03:20:56 No.46899213 >>46893265 # >reverse image search >no matches found

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Femanon made her bf realise he was gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:15:27 No.67895132 >have a boyfriend in high school and the first part of college >he's not very intimate >really have to push for kisses >never had sex >run into him >it's been four years 128 KB JPG >he's now the most flamboyant, effeminate, bold, make up clad gay man I have ever seen g-glad to know I was w-what it took for him to r-rr- realize

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Anon goes to science class | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SIDES GRIPPLED 153 KB JPG 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for amerif js) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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Anon gets promoted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)11:52:39 No.889903164 ► >>889903182 File: 1662517242502489.gif (1.93 MB, 245x187) Yup F----- married boss many times. >I'm air force lead aircraft mechanic >Boss MSgt is blonde girl, slightly older than me. >I've known her for ten years >Christmas party >I stay after helping to clean up >Ends up bring just the two of us >We finish up >Start talking about stupid ass airman hijinks, which ones are good, etc >Both kind of buzzed >She says that she always had a thing for me >I say that she could have had me for dinner and a movie before marriage >She says, "Damn you're easy!" >We both laugh >She gets up to go to bathroom >I clean off last table >She comes back and plants full on mouth kiss on me >We f--- raw on desk/table like this is the key to surviving apocalypse >She c--- on my c--- while riding me >She is a violent orgasmer >I ended up with bruises all f------ over my legs and back from desks >l unload in her p----, pressed as deep as I could get it >Felt f------ awesome >Post nut clarity >We both agree it was one time thing, never gonna happen again >FFWD one year Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)11:53:29 No.889903182 >>889903164 >Deployment to Al Udeid Qatar >It is a f------ rules nightmare >F--- the s----- officers who are bad leaders >Double f--- the f----- ass Qataris Seriously, they're f------ despite what they claim on world cup >I am MilFitBro >She wants to get fit too >Offer to let her run with me >>889903767 >One month into deployment after nighttime run >it is 90 degrees at night and humid as f--- >Both sopping with sweat >I have to pass her room to get to mine >She grabs me and asks me to come into her room >She has some b------- and they're coming out >Wants to f--- right now >We f--- like animals raw and I again fill her up >Both start finding reasons to be somewhere private with each other >F--- almost daily across that base >F--- in airplanes >On a sizable percentage of the U.S. Air Force's C130 fleet >Easily like 50% >I c-- in her every time >On way back, f--- our way across Europe >Stop f------ here at home station >I am now the shop chief working directly for her >MFW I f----- my way to promotion

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Anon cucks his best friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)09:01:55 No.889899077 >be me >current best friend gets a girlfriend >we hangout and chill getting close >he never spent time with her >blahblah gaming blah blah long streams >one day she's bored just me and her hanging out >at my house >curious how I taste >gives me a b------ >takes clothes off her t--- are like DDD >holyfuck.exe >she let's me f--- her p---- >so sensitive she almost blacks off from pleasure >we repeat after spans of vist >best friend finds out >no longer friend >still f------ his girl and she likes it more >continues

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Building blocks are the key to happiness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB PNG 08/01/21(Sun)07:52:26 No.64791948 >builds small block house >truly happy 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread 08/01/21(Sun)08:06:36 No.64792054 : Anonymous >>64791987 # >been working at a kindergarten last year >one day, not a single child showed up (covid just started) >just spent the whole day building a giant building block castle with the other employers >best day of my life

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