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Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Explain this, nerds | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)12:08:30 No.896014 320708.jpg 287 KB JPG >750,000 volts are totally dangerous and deadly, trust me bro @kimdaism

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anon wins the game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: rPXtQ6Nr ) gaming story time 16 KB JPG 02/15/19(Fri)09:29:06 No.203270195 >be me >xboxfag >more of a casual gamer, just play every now and then >pretty good tho >enjoy my time, distracts me from life >enter xxx_pu55ys1ayer_xxx >f------ chad >always joins my games without me inviting him >f---- up whatever I'm doing >makes fun of me >knows I'm a virgin >lol just get laid anon >f------ chad >one day I'm playing cod just doing my thing >he joins >"lol 1v1 me bro" >f------ fine >epicgamertime.jpg >I rain hell upon him with the force of a thousand virgins >he doesn't get a single kill >feelsgood.gif >he's f------ p----- >"F------ AiMbOt" >starts cursing at me >makes fun of me >says I'll never get laid >oh that's it >the camel's back has shattered >plan devised >tell him I'm going to f--- his mom >"...dude what?" >I leave the game and start planning >l use my epic gamer skills to find out where this f----- lives >I show up to his house while he's at school >knock on the door >his mom answers the door with open arms >sweet lady, almost makes me feel bad for what I'm about to do >almost >we go into her living room and make conversation >laughing at all my jokes >I go in for the kiss >she hesitates at first but I'm persistent >manonamission >she gives in to my charm and kisses back >getting steamy >I penetrate her as soon as I hear the front door open >"mom I'm home!" >he walks in just to see me balls feel in the woman who spawned him >look of absolute horror and disgust on his face >he runs out of the house >mom's crying >I leave, my work done >mfw my brother finally stopped joining my games

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Anon loves the holocaust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 11/28/22(Mon)21:45:22 No.71176493 >be me in elementary school >be obsessed with all things holocaust related, not even sure how it started >teacher gives us an assignment to make a presentation about something we are really passionate about >spend 2 weeks making many slides full to the brim with pictures and written information about the holocaust >day of the presentation time comes >most kids make their presentations on things like sports or games they played, went by pretty quickly >well s--- >its my turn to start sharing >start reading from notecards and showing the pictures of the dead jews >teacher stops me about 3 minutes in >"anon, you can stop now" >gets super embarrassed w >get called a retarded nazi until I eventually move schools

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Anon trolls roleplayers in WoW | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)12:20:39 No.764144 >>765489 File: 1664120030929671.jpg (127 KB, 1491x1120) >>761240 >be me >playing WoW vanilla in the ol' days >play gnome rogue >go to elwynn forest >spot 2 female night elf doing /emotes text in the small fort near the border >i stay hidden and throw firecrackers everytime it get a bit spicy >they jump and look around the fort every time >they are low level so they cant spot me >uncloak and /dance between the two >tell zonechat there is a an o--- in the fort >everyone come and /dance >we form a raid and go kill hogger in our underpants >lesbian elves included. It was...another time fren, Now everyone would get mad at me for being transphobe or something. But i just roleplayed a gnome.

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Anon was so close to not being virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TINH LOÀ 737 KB GIF 11/25/22(Fri)10:33:23 No.71120096 >be me >be hitting it off with a european girl on texts >start talking about Mr.H circa 1932- 1945 >she says he was crazy >ask me about him >be funny and eccentric >get ghosted i'm sorry my furhur, looks like i'm going to be jacking off tonight

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Anon found the fated one. | /r/Greentext

>she says yes >omgomgomgomg.png >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck >she stops for a bit and starts laughing >she sits back Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)23:36:44 No.71186470 [Reply] Why am I like this >keep chatting for a while >4 am we go back to our homes >be me >have femdom fetish >find a girl online >8/10 >thicc goth girl >talk to her >meet her >we go to a bar >talk about a bunch of stuff about our lives >thatwasanicetalk.jpg >she gets up to adjust her dress >i was sitting down so she got taller than me >while she was adjusting her dress she was looking down at me like i was her slave >accidentaly say "step on me" >decide to man up >ask her to go on a date do you think she is making fun of me right now anon? she probably told her friends what happened. what does this mean

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Anon is a part of the home gym master race | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 88 KB JPG : Anonymous >>46892035 (OP) # u mirin? : Anonymous >>46893265 # jesus christ anon : Anonymous >>46893265 # oh god >>46893476 # >>46893516 # >>46893615 # >>46893771 # >>46895126 # >>46898829 # >>46899213 # >>46899278 # >>46899320 # >>46899483 # >>46901027 # >>46901181 # : Anonymous Who here /homegym masterrace/? >>46899765 # 07/18/18 (Wed)18:45:20 No.46892035 : Anonymous 60 KB JPG 07/18/18 (Wed) 20:12:52 No.46893265 IMG_1043.jpg 258 KB JPG 07/18/18 (Wed)20:28:13 No.46893476 >>46893265 # >Local man kills himself with home made guillotine >Neighboors heard the victim scream "LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!" right before the deed 07/18/18 (Wed) 20:39:04 No.46893615 07/18/18 (Wed) 22:21:51 No.46895126 07/19/18(Thu)03:20:56 No.46899213 >>46893265 # >reverse image search >no matches found

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Femanon made her bf realise he was gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:15:27 No.67895132 >have a boyfriend in high school and the first part of college >he's not very intimate >really have to push for kisses >never had sex >run into him >it's been four years 128 KB JPG >he's now the most flamboyant, effeminate, bold, make up clad gay man I have ever seen g-glad to know I was w-what it took for him to r-rr- realize

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Anon goes to science class | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SIDES GRIPPLED 153 KB JPG 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for amerif js) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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Anon gets promoted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)11:52:39 No.889903164 ► >>889903182 File: 1662517242502489.gif (1.93 MB, 245x187) Yup F----- married boss many times. >I'm air force lead aircraft mechanic >Boss MSgt is blonde girl, slightly older than me. >I've known her for ten years >Christmas party >I stay after helping to clean up >Ends up bring just the two of us >We finish up >Start talking about stupid ass airman hijinks, which ones are good, etc >Both kind of buzzed >She says that she always had a thing for me >I say that she could have had me for dinner and a movie before marriage >She says, "Damn you're easy!" >We both laugh >She gets up to go to bathroom >I clean off last table >She comes back and plants full on mouth kiss on me >We f--- raw on desk/table like this is the key to surviving apocalypse >She c--- on my c--- while riding me >She is a violent orgasmer >I ended up with bruises all f------ over my legs and back from desks >l unload in her p----, pressed as deep as I could get it >Felt f------ awesome >Post nut clarity >We both agree it was one time thing, never gonna happen again >FFWD one year Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)11:53:29 No.889903182 >>889903164 >Deployment to Al Udeid Qatar >It is a f------ rules nightmare >F--- the s----- officers who are bad leaders >Double f--- the f----- ass Qataris Seriously, they're f------ despite what they claim on world cup >I am MilFitBro >She wants to get fit too >Offer to let her run with me >>889903767 >One month into deployment after nighttime run >it is 90 degrees at night and humid as f--- >Both sopping with sweat >I have to pass her room to get to mine >She grabs me and asks me to come into her room >She has some b------- and they're coming out >Wants to f--- right now >We f--- like animals raw and I again fill her up >Both start finding reasons to be somewhere private with each other >F--- almost daily across that base >F--- in airplanes >On a sizable percentage of the U.S. Air Force's C130 fleet >Easily like 50% >I c-- in her every time >On way back, f--- our way across Europe >Stop f------ here at home station >I am now the shop chief working directly for her >MFW I f----- my way to promotion

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Anon cucks his best friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)09:01:55 No.889899077 >be me >current best friend gets a girlfriend >we hangout and chill getting close >he never spent time with her >blahblah gaming blah blah long streams >one day she's bored just me and her hanging out >at my house >curious how I taste >gives me a b------ >takes clothes off her t--- are like DDD >holyfuck.exe >she let's me f--- her p---- >so sensitive she almost blacks off from pleasure >we repeat after spans of vist >best friend finds out >no longer friend >still f------ his girl and she likes it more >continues

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Building blocks are the key to happiness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB PNG 08/01/21(Sun)07:52:26 No.64791948 >builds small block house >truly happy 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread 08/01/21(Sun)08:06:36 No.64792054 : Anonymous >>64791987 # >been working at a kindergarten last year >one day, not a single child showed up (covid just started) >just spent the whole day building a giant building block castle with the other employers >best day of my life

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Greentext Stories - Anon helps mentally challenged guy | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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