Anon uses Zoom | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: ddd.png (159 KB, 600x800) Autistic/Cringey things you've done in public Anonymous 09/09/21(1 >Be me >March 2020 >College switched to Zoom due to the coof >First time ever using Zoom >Did not know that you are unmuted by default >Start singing in the tune of "You got the funk" >"You got the tism" >"You got that tism, tasm" >Chinese kid says "Ay quit beatboxing man" >I think about this in the shower sometimes and scream into my hands Anonymous 09/09/21 (Thu) 18:20:41 No.65322264 ► >>65321519 (OP) You are a humiliation and a failure. This post is your prize

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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FemAnon cant cope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous will to kad Or The ve g ins 11/28/22(Mon)07:48:38 No.71165846 >be me, couple years ago >boyfriend cheated on me >develop a burning hatred for men 72 KB PNG >start creating fake profiles of attractive women to goad married guys into online relationships >seduce them into sexting, sending money, buying me things etc >send every screenshot, video and voice- message they've made to their partners >have destroyed 54 relationships so far

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Simping 4 Dead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)02:32:40 No.66894250 >BE ME >INSTALLED LEFT 4 DEAD BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY 1 DOLLAR ON STEAM >DECIDE TO PLAY IT ONLINE AFTER SOMETIME >JOINED A GAME, MY CHARACTER WAS BILL >THERE WERE TWO OTHER GUYS, PLAYING AS LOUIS AND FRANCIS >THERE WAS A ZOEY PLAYED BY A BOT >IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME, NO HEALTH KIT >FIND SOME PILLS >LOUIS SAW THAT I GOT SOME PILLS AND STARTED DOING THAT PUNCH THING ON ME, AND DIRECTLY LOOKING AT ZOEY AND SPAMMING "ZOEY! ZOEY! ZOEY!" VOICELINES OVER AND OVER AGAIN >REALIZE ZOEY HAS LIKE 60 HP AND A HEALTH KIT AND HE WANTS ME TO GIVE THE PILLS TO HER, WHILE I HAVE ONLY 30 HP >SHOUT THE VOICE LINE "NO" AND GO AWAY >NOT 10 SECONDS LATER START TAKING DAMAGE OUT OF NOWHERE >IT'S LOUIS, HE'S SHOOTING ME WITH HIS SHOTGUN >REALIZING THAT I WILL PROBABLY DIE IF I DON'T GIVE THE PILLS TO HER I GIVE UP >LATER IN THE GAME I AM ALMOST DYING, LITERALLY CANNOT SPRINT ANYMORE FROM THE DAMAGE >FRANCIS COMES OVER WITH A HEALTH KIT ON HIS HANDS >THINKS HE IS GONNA HEAL ME >HEALS ZOEY INSTEAD >SHE STILL HAS THE PILLS I GAVE HER AND A HEALTH KIT >IN THE END OF THE MISSION THEY LITERALLY LEFT ME FOR DEAD GETTING RIPPED APART BY A HUNTER BECAUSE ZOEY GOT ATTACKED BY A SMOKER >THE LAST THING I SAW BEFORE MY SCREEN FADED TO BLACK WAS LOUIS AND FRANCIS TURNING AROUND, STARING AT ME, AND THEN GOING BACK TO SAVE LITTLE ZOEY WITH ALMOST HALF OF HER HP, BECAUSE SHE FAILED TO SHOOT A SINGLE SMOKER THAT WAS PRATICALLY IN FRONT OF HER >THEY WERE LITERALLY SIMPING OVER A BOT BECAUSE IT IS PLAYING AS WOMAN CHARACTER >NEVER PLAYING ONLINE AGAIN

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of 4Chan | /r/Greentext

Harry Potter but it's written by people on 4chan >Nearly Headless Nick - got a b------ once from a fat muggle and went the rest with no action >Dumbledore gets topped every night by Slughorn after drinking Amortentia >Snape is into goth S&M >Remus Lupin is just a furry who has gay sex with Sirius Black 57 KB JPG >Hermione gets spitroasted by Ron and Harry while they make Neville watch >Draco has i----- sex with his Aunt Bellatrix, who is also a dominatrix >Luna is definitely banging one of the professors, or probably has filthy sex with Hagrid on the hippogriff. >Death eaters all just suck your d--- until you die.

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Green shit for your throats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/16(Thu)09:54:59 No.667133747 I f----- up bigtime /b/ >my folders are full of all kinds of gore and s--- that normal people would consider as psychopatic (actually no cp) >yesterday I felt asleep, forgot to 106 KB JPG turn off computer >mom came in on my room, and for a reason she went through my pc and found all the s--- i have on my pc My mom know me as a good boy, with good grades and doing no harm to other people. She haven't talked to me all day and I think she'll try to send me to a mental hospital or something What do otherwise than killing my self? 02/04/16(Thu)09:56:14 No.667133872 : Anonymous learn to speak english 02/04/16(Thu)09:57:10 No.667133945 : Anonymous >>667133747 (OP) # Masturbate yourself to death you ultra faglord

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Femanon tried to hang herself after getting rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.23 MB JPG 11/25/22(Fri)10:47:07 No.71120218 >i posted a few days ago about how i was gonna confess to my crush >i passed him a note and asked him to be my friend >he said no >i spiraled and tried to hang myself >ive failed and he probably thinks im a f------ schizo

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Anon have a bubble butt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 75 KB JPG walking U-Uh... 07/29/21(Thu)21:35:29 No.64761502 >Walking with GF and her sister >Wearing short shorts >Sister says I have 'bubble butt' >What? >Pats me on the ass >Um >GF doesn't say or do anything >Both laugh it off we keep

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Anon is in the movie “Inception” | /r/Greentext

105 KB JPG >be me >19 m >fat sweaty Cheeto fingers virgin >too fat and sweaty for girls, fml >want to experience vagine >maxed out m----------- skill, what do? >fun fact about me, diagnosed with parasomnia as a kid >like lucid dreaming but for f---, super real vivid dreams, often nightmares >fall asleep thinking about busty goddess in my sociology class >runvividdreams.jpg >dream I am f------ busty >so real, feel the warmth of vagine and squishy bust >crying literal tears of joy in dream >so happy, but then >que boss music >busty transforms into horrible insect-like monster >big ass sword claw hands >f------ rips me apart >dream still vivid, feel the pain >wake up covered in coom and tears >next night >bust nut thinking about busty >dream starts, same. F------. Dream. >know what's coming >decide then and there I want to dream f--- busty mutant insect monster and then die for the sweet sweet vagine >same thing happens every dream, usually can coom quickly before death >had this dream at least once or twice a week for at past 6 months >delish coochie is worth violent death >mfw my disease became my power >not sure how to feel >I find it kind of funny >I find it kind of sad >the dreams in which I'm dying >are the best I've ever had

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Anon wants to take the sock off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)18:39:19 No.65130783 >Coworker at work >Always takes her shoes off at her desk >Always wearing socks What can I do to get her to take her socks off? Thinking about spilling something on the floor but not sure if it will bother her enough. 2 Replies 113 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)19:29:31 No.65131387 pls she is leaving soon : Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)21:16:04 No.65132524 >>65130783 (OP) # Maybe if you blow your brains out it'll scare her socks off

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Anon shares his stair routine | /r/Greentext

>>619342902 # >not using trailing hand technique NGMI : Anonymous 101 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)01:55:31 No.619343865 >>619343183 # Looks dumb to me. Regular stairs allow faster ascension using this method, do you guys not traverse stairs like this? I can scramble up in less than 2 seconds >>619343921 # >>619343957 # >>619344013 # >>619344060 # >>619344136 # >>619344201 # >>619344556 # >>619344752 # >>619345049 # >>619345385 # >>619346062 # >>619346360 # >>619346412 #

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Anon is fucking sorry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40 KB JPG 11/28/22(Mon)09:07:14 No.889842076 >be me >be child >brother introduces me to computer gaming >shows me steam on the family computer >helps me set up an account >play TF2 >hooked >go to friends house >ask if he has steam so we can game together >he doesn't >we go ask his dad if we can download it on their computer >he says sure and comes to the computer to help >look up steam on google >start to panic >don't know what link to click >steam.com eludes me >tell his dad I don't know what website to download it from >he says to just download it and he trusts me >click the shadiest f------ website >click download >infest his computer with viruses sorry

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>genie light comes on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 file.png 75 KB PNG >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #

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Fembot revenge stories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous po the m 72 KB PNG 11/28/22(Mon)09:48:38 No.71165846 1 Reply >be me, couple years ago >boyfriend cheated on me >develop a burning hatred for men >start creating fake profiles of attractive women to goad married guys into online relationships >seduce them into sexting, sending money, buying me things etc >send every screenshot, video and voice-message they've made to their partners >have destroyed 54 relationships so far View Thread Anonymous >>71165846 (OP) # Very based but youre still a normie so go away 11/28/22(Mon)09:52:44 No.71165869

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