Harry Potter and the Prisoner of 4Chan | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Harry Potter but it's written by people on 4chan >Nearly Headless Nick - got a b------ once from a fat muggle and went the rest with no action >Dumbledore gets topped every night by Slughorn after drinking Amortentia >Snape is into goth S&M >Remus Lupin is just a furry who has gay sex with Sirius Black 57 KB JPG >Hermione gets spitroasted by Ron and Harry while they make Neville watch >Draco has i----- sex with his Aunt Bellatrix, who is also a dominatrix >Luna is definitely banging one of the professors, or probably has filthy sex with Hagrid on the hippogriff. >Death eaters all just suck your d--- until you die.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Green shit for your throats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/16(Thu)09:54:59 No.667133747 I f----- up bigtime /b/ >my folders are full of all kinds of gore and s--- that normal people would consider as psychopatic (actually no cp) >yesterday I felt asleep, forgot to 106 KB JPG turn off computer >mom came in on my room, and for a reason she went through my pc and found all the s--- i have on my pc My mom know me as a good boy, with good grades and doing no harm to other people. She haven't talked to me all day and I think she'll try to send me to a mental hospital or something What do otherwise than killing my self? 02/04/16(Thu)09:56:14 No.667133872 : Anonymous learn to speak english 02/04/16(Thu)09:57:10 No.667133945 : Anonymous >>667133747 (OP) # Masturbate yourself to death you ultra faglord

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Femanon tried to hang herself after getting rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.23 MB JPG 11/25/22(Fri)10:47:07 No.71120218 >i posted a few days ago about how i was gonna confess to my crush >i passed him a note and asked him to be my friend >he said no >i spiraled and tried to hang myself >ive failed and he probably thinks im a f------ schizo

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Anon have a bubble butt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 75 KB JPG walking U-Uh... 07/29/21(Thu)21:35:29 No.64761502 >Walking with GF and her sister >Wearing short shorts >Sister says I have 'bubble butt' >What? >Pats me on the ass >Um >GF doesn't say or do anything >Both laugh it off we keep

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Anon is in the movie “Inception” | /r/Greentext

105 KB JPG >be me >19 m >fat sweaty Cheeto fingers virgin >too fat and sweaty for girls, fml >want to experience vagine >maxed out m----------- skill, what do? >fun fact about me, diagnosed with parasomnia as a kid >like lucid dreaming but for f---, super real vivid dreams, often nightmares >fall asleep thinking about busty goddess in my sociology class >runvividdreams.jpg >dream I am f------ busty >so real, feel the warmth of vagine and squishy bust >crying literal tears of joy in dream >so happy, but then >que boss music >busty transforms into horrible insect-like monster >big ass sword claw hands >f------ rips me apart >dream still vivid, feel the pain >wake up covered in coom and tears >next night >bust nut thinking about busty >dream starts, same. F------. Dream. >know what's coming >decide then and there I want to dream f--- busty mutant insect monster and then die for the sweet sweet vagine >same thing happens every dream, usually can coom quickly before death >had this dream at least once or twice a week for at past 6 months >delish coochie is worth violent death >mfw my disease became my power >not sure how to feel >I find it kind of funny >I find it kind of sad >the dreams in which I'm dying >are the best I've ever had

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Anon wants to take the sock off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)18:39:19 No.65130783 >Coworker at work >Always takes her shoes off at her desk >Always wearing socks What can I do to get her to take her socks off? Thinking about spilling something on the floor but not sure if it will bother her enough. 2 Replies 113 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)19:29:31 No.65131387 pls she is leaving soon : Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)21:16:04 No.65132524 >>65130783 (OP) # Maybe if you blow your brains out it'll scare her socks off

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Anon shares his stair routine | /r/Greentext

>>619342902 # >not using trailing hand technique NGMI : Anonymous 101 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)01:55:31 No.619343865 >>619343183 # Looks dumb to me. Regular stairs allow faster ascension using this method, do you guys not traverse stairs like this? I can scramble up in less than 2 seconds >>619343921 # >>619343957 # >>619344013 # >>619344060 # >>619344136 # >>619344201 # >>619344556 # >>619344752 # >>619345049 # >>619345385 # >>619346062 # >>619346360 # >>619346412 #

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Anon is fucking sorry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40 KB JPG 11/28/22(Mon)09:07:14 No.889842076 >be me >be child >brother introduces me to computer gaming >shows me steam on the family computer >helps me set up an account >play TF2 >hooked >go to friends house >ask if he has steam so we can game together >he doesn't >we go ask his dad if we can download it on their computer >he says sure and comes to the computer to help >look up steam on google >start to panic >don't know what link to click >steam.com eludes me >tell his dad I don't know what website to download it from >he says to just download it and he trusts me >click the shadiest f------ website >click download >infest his computer with viruses sorry

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>genie light comes on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 file.png 75 KB PNG >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #

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Fembot revenge stories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous po the m 72 KB PNG 11/28/22(Mon)09:48:38 No.71165846 1 Reply >be me, couple years ago >boyfriend cheated on me >develop a burning hatred for men >start creating fake profiles of attractive women to goad married guys into online relationships >seduce them into sexting, sending money, buying me things etc >send every screenshot, video and voice-message they've made to their partners >have destroyed 54 relationships so far View Thread Anonymous >>71165846 (OP) # Very based but youre still a normie so go away 11/28/22(Mon)09:52:44 No.71165869

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Anon has a fat fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Unintended consequences? 09/30/21(Thu)14:04:30 This s--- is seriously ruining my life. Pic unrelated 578 KB PNG >Be me >Cursed with fat fetish >Hate it, but oh well, at least it's easy to get girls >After the third time feeling like I was about to get crushed to death decide to get /fit/ >8 months later >Made decent progress >Start to feel disdain for fatties No.65582655 >See fat women and think about how lazy they must be >Feeling keep growing >Take landwhale home >She takes her clothes off and I am truly disgusted by how much of a slob she is >Can't get it up. >Still don't get attracted to fit women I can't even f------ j------- anymore. I've f------ /fit/ed myself out of f------ chaddom this is hell

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anon has a holesome experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3 KB JPG 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. >I heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man

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Anon kills a man | /r/Greentext

Two years ago, a man broke into my home a little before 2:00 AM on an early-December night. I shot him four times (fired five shots - stopping when he fell). He was still alive but died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. >Police find no evidence of wrong doing on my part - I live in Florida >The family of the deceased filed a civil suit against me >Gets dismissed >They harass me on social media >Delete social media, and the sister of the deceased calls my job, telling them I'm a murderer It calmed down toward the beginning of this year but this last message sent me overboard YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU TOLERATE 93 KB JPG >I got a message on LinkedIn from the pastor of their church, asking me to publicly apologize and give the family closure >Evidently, the guy's birthday is coming up. It's a birthday he shares with his sister - born on the same date, two years apart. >It's the sister that called my job. >Block the pastor on LinkedIn. >Get curious and go check their public Facebook pages. >They all talk about me being a gun-nut and murderer >They all have #Justice4****** on their pages >His mom and sister have poorly photoshopped pictures of me with a burning cross in the background How did me defending myself and my wife from a man breaking into my home turn into me somehow being a gun nut, supremacist, and a supposed murderer? I just want to be left alone.

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