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Harry Potter but it's written by people on 4chan >Nearly Headless Nick - got a b------ once from a fat muggle and went the rest with no action >Dumbledore gets topped every night by Slughorn after drinking Amortentia >Snape is into goth S&M >Remus Lupin is just a furry who has gay sex with Sirius Black 57 KB JPG >Hermione gets spitroasted by Ron and Harry while they make Neville watch >Draco has i----- sex with his Aunt Bellatrix, who is also a dominatrix >Luna is definitely banging one of the professors, or probably has filthy sex with Hagrid on the hippogriff. >Death eaters all just suck your d--- until you die.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Green shit for your throats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/16(Thu)09:54:59 No.667133747 I f----- up bigtime /b/ >my folders are full of all kinds of gore and s--- that normal people would consider as psychopatic (actually no cp) >yesterday I felt asleep, forgot to 106 KB JPG turn off computer >mom came in on my room, and for a reason she went through my pc and found all the s--- i have on my pc My mom know me as a good boy, with good grades and doing no harm to other people. She haven't talked to me all day and I think she'll try to send me to a mental hospital or something What do otherwise than killing my self? 02/04/16(Thu)09:56:14 No.667133872 : Anonymous learn to speak english 02/04/16(Thu)09:57:10 No.667133945 : Anonymous >>667133747 (OP) # Masturbate yourself to death you ultra faglord

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Femanon tried to hang herself after getting rejected | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.23 MB JPG 11/25/22(Fri)10:47:07 No.71120218 >i posted a few days ago about how i was gonna confess to my crush >i passed him a note and asked him to be my friend >he said no >i spiraled and tried to hang myself >ive failed and he probably thinks im a f------ schizo

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Anon have a bubble butt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 75 KB JPG walking U-Uh... 07/29/21(Thu)21:35:29 No.64761502 >Walking with GF and her sister >Wearing short shorts >Sister says I have 'bubble butt' >What? >Pats me on the ass >Um >GF doesn't say or do anything >Both laugh it off we keep

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Anon is in the movie “Inception” | /r/Greentext

105 KB JPG >be me >19 m >fat sweaty Cheeto fingers virgin >too fat and sweaty for girls, fml >want to experience vagine >maxed out m----------- skill, what do? >fun fact about me, diagnosed with parasomnia as a kid >like lucid dreaming but for f---, super real vivid dreams, often nightmares >fall asleep thinking about busty goddess in my sociology class >runvividdreams.jpg >dream I am f------ busty >so real, feel the warmth of vagine and squishy bust >crying literal tears of joy in dream >so happy, but then >que boss music >busty transforms into horrible insect-like monster >big ass sword claw hands >f------ rips me apart >dream still vivid, feel the pain >wake up covered in coom and tears >next night >bust nut thinking about busty >dream starts, same. F------. Dream. >know what's coming >decide then and there I want to dream f--- busty mutant insect monster and then die for the sweet sweet vagine >same thing happens every dream, usually can coom quickly before death >had this dream at least once or twice a week for at past 6 months >delish coochie is worth violent death >mfw my disease became my power >not sure how to feel >I find it kind of funny >I find it kind of sad >the dreams in which I'm dying >are the best I've ever had

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Anon wants to take the sock off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)18:39:19 No.65130783 >Coworker at work >Always takes her shoes off at her desk >Always wearing socks What can I do to get her to take her socks off? Thinking about spilling something on the floor but not sure if it will bother her enough. 2 Replies 113 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)19:29:31 No.65131387 pls she is leaving soon : Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)21:16:04 No.65132524 >>65130783 (OP) # Maybe if you blow your brains out it'll scare her socks off

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Anon shares his stair routine | /r/Greentext

>>619342902 # >not using trailing hand technique NGMI : Anonymous 101 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)01:55:31 No.619343865 >>619343183 # Looks dumb to me. Regular stairs allow faster ascension using this method, do you guys not traverse stairs like this? I can scramble up in less than 2 seconds >>619343921 # >>619343957 # >>619344013 # >>619344060 # >>619344136 # >>619344201 # >>619344556 # >>619344752 # >>619345049 # >>619345385 # >>619346062 # >>619346360 # >>619346412 #

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Anon is fucking sorry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40 KB JPG 11/28/22(Mon)09:07:14 No.889842076 >be me >be child >brother introduces me to computer gaming >shows me steam on the family computer >helps me set up an account >play TF2 >hooked >go to friends house >ask if he has steam so we can game together >he doesn't >we go ask his dad if we can download it on their computer >he says sure and comes to the computer to help >look up steam on google >start to panic >don't know what link to click >steam.com eludes me >tell his dad I don't know what website to download it from >he says to just download it and he trusts me >click the shadiest f------ website >click download >infest his computer with viruses sorry

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>genie light comes on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >genie light comes on >wish for infinite wishes 05/04/22(Wed)19:00:06 No.2543988 file.png 75 KB PNG >engine explodes shouldnt have tried to fool him >>25439915 # >>25441515 # >>25444652 # >>25447053 # >>25455269 #

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Fembot revenge stories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous po the m 72 KB PNG 11/28/22(Mon)09:48:38 No.71165846 1 Reply >be me, couple years ago >boyfriend cheated on me >develop a burning hatred for men >start creating fake profiles of attractive women to goad married guys into online relationships >seduce them into sexting, sending money, buying me things etc >send every screenshot, video and voice-message they've made to their partners >have destroyed 54 relationships so far View Thread Anonymous >>71165846 (OP) # Very based but youre still a normie so go away 11/28/22(Mon)09:52:44 No.71165869

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Anon has a fat fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Unintended consequences? 09/30/21(Thu)14:04:30 This s--- is seriously ruining my life. Pic unrelated 578 KB PNG >Be me >Cursed with fat fetish >Hate it, but oh well, at least it's easy to get girls >After the third time feeling like I was about to get crushed to death decide to get /fit/ >8 months later >Made decent progress >Start to feel disdain for fatties No.65582655 >See fat women and think about how lazy they must be >Feeling keep growing >Take landwhale home >She takes her clothes off and I am truly disgusted by how much of a slob she is >Can't get it up. >Still don't get attracted to fit women I can't even f------ j------- anymore. I've f------ /fit/ed myself out of f------ chaddom this is hell

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anon has a holesome experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3 KB JPG 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. >I heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man

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Anon kills a man | /r/Greentext

Two years ago, a man broke into my home a little before 2:00 AM on an early-December night. I shot him four times (fired five shots - stopping when he fell). He was still alive but died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. >Police find no evidence of wrong doing on my part - I live in Florida >The family of the deceased filed a civil suit against me >Gets dismissed >They harass me on social media >Delete social media, and the sister of the deceased calls my job, telling them I'm a murderer It calmed down toward the beginning of this year but this last message sent me overboard YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU TOLERATE 93 KB JPG >I got a message on LinkedIn from the pastor of their church, asking me to publicly apologize and give the family closure >Evidently, the guy's birthday is coming up. It's a birthday he shares with his sister - born on the same date, two years apart. >It's the sister that called my job. >Block the pastor on LinkedIn. >Get curious and go check their public Facebook pages. >They all talk about me being a gun-nut and murderer >They all have #Justice4****** on their pages >His mom and sister have poorly photoshopped pictures of me with a burning cross in the background How did me defending myself and my wife from a man breaking into my home turn into me somehow being a gun nut, supremacist, and a supposed murderer? I just want to be left alone.

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Greentext Stories - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of 4Chan | /r/Greentext

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Harry Potter but it's written by people on 4chan >Nearly Headless Nick - got a b------ once from a fat muggle and went the rest with no action >Dumbledore gets topped every night by Slughorn after drinking Amortentia >Snape is into goth S&M >Remus Lupin is just a furry who has gay sex with Sirius Black 57 KB JPG >Hermione gets spitroasted by Ron and Harry while they make Neville watch >Draco has i----- sex with his Aunt Bellatrix, who is also a dominatrix >Luna is definitely banging one of the professors, or probably has filthy sex with Hagrid on the hippogriff. >Death eaters all just suck your d--- until you die.

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