anon smacks a woman | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous >>65568150 # >be me walking home from uni >middle of winter so it's already dark out >streets are pretty empty >see pretty blonde walking the same direction across the street 02/14/22(Mon)17:29:48 No.65569206 >miraculously her face lights up and she starts running towards me >"oh hey it's you! We met at inserttrendylocationinmycity!" >pause >this is literally impossible since I only ever go to uni and gym >"yeah no sorry that's not me" >she keeps f------ walking towards me spouting some non commital garbage >even my autistic ass realizes that there's no reason for her to come this close if she just wants to talk >in a stroke of autistic genius I smack her across the face as hard as I can >she staggers back a little and drops something >couldn't see it in the dark but sounded like glass or possibly thin metal >at the same time the backdoors of what I thought was an empty van parked nearby burst open and 2 huge n------ walk out >like bigger than the biggest roidtranny at my gym huge >they wear regualr clothes but there's no question of them being innocent bystanders as there isn't a hint of shock or outrage on their faces >they just start quickly walking towards me >I turn around and start sprinting as hard as I can >no idea if they even gave chase since I didn't want to risk turning around to look >sprint past my subway station all the way to my apartment >lock the door, put in the chain, even jam a chair under the doorhandle >puke from exhaustion and anxiety >have nervous breakdown >slow breathing, drink water and decide to call the cops >they're probably just gonna laugh and call me crazy >nope >operator tells me to hold while she reroutes my call >never heard of this happening before >some guy from the actual police picks up >he's super serious and wants me to come in for questioning while the memory is still fresh >tell him there's no way I'm leaving my house tonight >actually sends a f------ cop car to fetch me >cont. >>65569387 # >>65569754 # >>65573409 # >>65574553 # : Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)17:45:43 No.65569387 >>65569206 # >get driven to police station >meet guy from the phone call >nice enough guy but also f------ relentless 49 KB JPG >questions me for hours about an event that lasted literal seconds >sits me down with a sketch artist to describe the girls and the n------ as precisely as possible >sits me down with a car expert to identify the van (didn't help them much there since I don't know s--- about cars) >keeps asking me about seemingly unrelated background information >what am I majoring in, who knew I would walk home from that class that night, do I always take the same way home, which doctors or pharmacies did I recently visit, could anyone else have possibly gotten access to my medical information >turns out there's an organ harvesting ring in town and I'm the first guy to have gotten close enough to see something useful, but not close enough to get murked >makes me repeat everything like 10 times over to make sure I didn't forget anything then thanks me for my cooperation and sends me on my way >same guy who fetched me brings me home >actually accompanies me all the way to the door of my apartment then leaves >disn't Iwave the house for a week after that s--- >as far as I know they never caught the f------ either So yeah, unless you're gigachad incarnate you should take random thots approaching you as the biggest red flag imaginable. >>65569754 # >>65569880 # >>65574553 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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