Anon experiences aunt love | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

#1, No. 70668188 Acum 26 de minute why JPG 256x256 18,8 kB >be me >23 year old loser neet, highschool dropout >gf breaks up with me >wasting life away with drugs >move in with aunt in USA >she motivates me to get a GED >pass >first W in years >go clean >apply for collage >she says i can live with her and the family >moving there semi-permanently >she genuinely believes in me why does my chest ache? why am i on the verge of tears? i dont understand. this feels too good for someone like me 2 replies

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets topped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB PNG 09/04/20 (Fri)19:35:14 No.835444662 >be me, in US >9-5 soulless kitchen worker >tip system just changed in workplace, managers no longer allowed to get their hands on any of that sweet sweet money >now actually have some decent day time cash >go home and open up email >Domino's spamming as per usual >coupon catches my eye >it can't be.. >oh but it is >deal for a 13$ large pizza with *your choice of toppings* >chin rolls start sweating immediately, bursting out from the shirt collar barely concealing them and slamming against the floor >they did it again. they forgot to take the little things into account >previous history of ordering 50 free sauces at a time, as per the coupon >being_order.png >start going through the pizza builder. all the regular stuff, accurate to what my local store serves >normal crust, normal sauce, just a regular pizza >8 meat toppings, four doubled. >guaranteed to feed me for the hour >add extra cheese as well, I need more dairy in my s---- >free sauce? no free sauce, shame. >order is still 13$ (aside from taxes and delivery) >confirm order >5 minutes later receive phone call >"sir are you sure you-" >woman. day ruined >immediately screech out the word yes, already knowing from previous experience >gotta assert that dominance on the domino >make sure to add special instructions, give pizza puns. three in total, just in case they try to say the joke was too cheesy. heard it too many times >delivery guy shows up, completely fails to even come up with a pun >no tip for you. go on, get out of here >he looks disgusted as he leaves >slowly roll my slimy form across the stained wooden floor, pizza safely within my bellybutton space (thank god I'm an innie) >finally squeeze my way over to my mega gaming chair, made especially for 800 lb good boys like me >open box, toppings fly everywhere. floor was already dirty anyways >vacuum the pizza as I always do, not even tasting anything because at this point that doesn't matter anymore >leave review, "could not make pizza correctly"

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Anon goes to 4chan for social advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 10/20/22(Thu)12:27:02 No.887651203 >be me, kind of retarded and socially inept, can't say two words to others without pissing my pants >grew up poor but hate being poor so want a good job even if I am not good at it >find a way to a desired job but it's going to require a lot of social interactions every day >job started 7 months ago >be in meetings every day >literally stutter, sweat, and panic throughout each meeting >refuse to accept being a failure >"I am stronger than this. I am stronger than this. I am stronger than this." >keep delivering good enough results but very clearly pity inducing along the way >3 hours ago in a meeting >struggling speaking as usual but maybe worse? >manager turns to me "are you okay anon?" >oh y...yeah yes just just just thinking of the financial models sorry I'm sorry >go back to meeting topic like I'm not dying inside /b/ give me some advice please this is tiring and embarrassing everyday. This job can lead to amazing opportunities so I am not going to quit. But how do I become better socially?

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Anon is optimistic about the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Based Manletchad Aaron Tayer Jig Sh 10 % (179.1 cm) K >be me >179cm >manlet >shortest man in my family >feeling pretty down about myself lately >see thirst trap edit on TikTok with the guy from bullettrain >realize no one will never make an edit like that about me because I'm not a tallfag like him >decide to Google it >He's actually my height This was the lifefuel I needed today. We're all gonna make it. A FOREX 1.08 MB JPG 10/19/22(Wed)17:46:31 No.68693690 >>68694350 # : Anonymous >>68693690 (OP) # You're not even a manlet you gay talk to me when you're 5'6 average-height-tards are the most whiny insecure people around baka : Anonymous 10/19/22(Wed)17:50:07 No.68693713 10/19/22(Wed)19:09:16 No.68694350 >>68693713 # Fr they complain more than actial dwarves

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anon discovers soy milk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what the f---? ORIGINAL ORIGINAL SOY 86 PROTEN Silk THE ORIGINAL NUTRITION MEWERHOUSE OPER OVE HARVES IN BARES 83 KB JPG : Anonymous >>887653330 # 10/20/22(Thu)10:18:50 No.887652942 : Anonymous i just found out from my mom that soy milk is an actual thing.. w-- bros I thought it was just a meme people actually drink this s--- that's actually made of soy?? milkbros... >>887652942 (OP) # It's not even bad for you, in fact its better than regular milk > inb4 chudcels seething 10/20/22(Thu)10:25:16 No.887653170 10/20/22(Thu)10:30:11 No.887653330 >>887653170 # okay so we're outside of the store and we bought one and I tried it... it's f------ disgusting bros, everything they said about soy is true

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Anon is old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 10/20/22(Thu)22:15:43 No.887660095 >on random server >"Hey Anon, how old are you?" >"I'm uh... 23" >Everyone laughs >"Christ grandpa, isn't it bedtime for you?" >"Who let the old man in?" >"Dude, yo do know we're all like 13 to 16 here, right" >"G-Guys I was joking, I'm 16" >"HAHAHA, that's what I thought" >"Wew, I was actually about to kick you from the server anon" After this and a couple of other experiences, I think I might give up on online gaming altogether. Seems like everything is now filled with f------ zoomers. I'm scared, honestly. I don't know, maybe I'm legit outgrowing this s---.

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Anon feels loved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48471330 37,5 kB JPG 1 tsitten ●●● >be me >lonely >have cat >find out cats like back scratches >give cat back scratches >cat loves it >cat now follows me around and I give the good scratch >I love cat >cat loves me >I feel loved >not lonely >yes

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Anon became his own grandpa. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >I am married to my grandma >I am my own grandpa.

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Anon is such a comfortable liar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 205 KB JPG 10/20/22(Thu)00:43:35 No.27533693 Why am I such a comfortable liar? I can't stop telling white lies and I do it so easily, I've done it since I was a kid >in elementary school there was this kid I was friends with >he wasn't really close with anyone else but he was friends with me >he moves away and no one hears from him ever again >I make up this lie that his dad got thrown in jail for drug trafficking and the kid is terminally ill and dying of cancer >Everyone in my class believes it and it becomes a big thing >a few girls made "get well soon" cards for him and I promised to give the cards to him I told that lie out of sheer boredom and it ignited something me. Throughout my life I continue to make up weird lies to everyone, my family, my friends, girlfriends, employers. I lie all the time and I enjoy the feeling I get from treating people like suckers. Why?

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Lib Dem sleeper agent finishes her mission | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: KnACzPU8) 10/20/22(Thu) 18:10:27 No.400684728 >>400687044 >>400696999 File: 1645435671191.png (370 KB, 654x492) >be a pro-republic, LibDem remainer >infiltrate the Tories over many years >kill the Queen >destroy the economy >kamikaze the party, maybe for decades >leave in just 44 days, your job done You all got outplayed

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Anon gets the covid vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 194 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/18/21 (Wed)14:46:31 No.65035575 >parents made me get the covid vaccine 5 Replies / 1 Image 68 KB JPG How can I safely remove it from my body without them noticing? It's only been about 15 minutes since I got it so I think I still have some time. View Thread 08/18/21 (Wed)14:49:26 No.65035611 >>65035575 (OP) # you have to be 18 to post here also you're literally going to die now good luck. nothing can save you from this.

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Anon learns to stutter | /r/Greentext

1517791963815.png (322 KB, 591x716) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 10/19/22(Wed)20:38:40 No.70654804 ✓ >Practiced talking with a stutter because my crush in high school said she thought boys who stuttered when they talk about something they are passionate about are cute >Got pretty good at it, could pretend stutter in the middle of rant so that it sounded authentic >Eventually got so good at it that I didn't even have to think about it, and then so good at it that I can't prevent it even when I don't want to stutter >mfw I now I have a stutter that I can't control

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Anon enjoys the weather changing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 398 KB JPG rather than calf socks God I love Fall 10/20/22(Thu)09:42:29 No.887645313 >getting later in the year, it's autumn >air is turning cool and crisp >leaves are changing into beautiful red, yellow, and orange >drinking hot chocolate, bundling up in warm coats >time to start jerking off into ankle socks

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