Anon gets topped | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 49 KB PNG 09/04/20 (Fri)19:35:14 No.835444662 >be me, in US >9-5 soulless kitchen worker >tip system just changed in workplace, managers no longer allowed to get their hands on any of that sweet sweet money >now actually have some decent day time cash >go home and open up email >Domino's spamming as per usual >coupon catches my eye >it can't be.. >oh but it is >deal for a 13$ large pizza with *your choice of toppings* >chin rolls start sweating immediately, bursting out from the shirt collar barely concealing them and slamming against the floor >they did it again. they forgot to take the little things into account >previous history of ordering 50 free sauces at a time, as per the coupon >being_order.png >start going through the pizza builder. all the regular stuff, accurate to what my local store serves >normal crust, normal sauce, just a regular pizza >8 meat toppings, four doubled. >guaranteed to feed me for the hour >add extra cheese as well, I need more dairy in my s---- >free sauce? no free sauce, shame. >order is still 13$ (aside from taxes and delivery) >confirm order >5 minutes later receive phone call >"sir are you sure you-" >woman. day ruined >immediately screech out the word yes, already knowing from previous experience >gotta assert that dominance on the domino >make sure to add special instructions, give pizza puns. three in total, just in case they try to say the joke was too cheesy. heard it too many times >delivery guy shows up, completely fails to even come up with a pun >no tip for you. go on, get out of here >he looks disgusted as he leaves >slowly roll my slimy form across the stained wooden floor, pizza safely within my bellybutton space (thank god I'm an innie) >finally squeeze my way over to my mega gaming chair, made especially for 800 lb good boys like me >open box, toppings fly everywhere. floor was already dirty anyways >vacuum the pizza as I always do, not even tasting anything because at this point that doesn't matter anymore >leave review, "could not make pizza correctly"

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (629px x 1909px)

File size: 179 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,692 Images

Moar:

Anon goes to 4chan for social advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 10/20/22(Thu)12:27:02 No.887651203 >be me, kind of retarded and socially inept, can't say two words to others without pissing my pants >grew up poor but hate being poor so want a good job even if I am not good at it >find a way to a desired job but it's going to require a lot of social interactions every day >job started 7 months ago >be in meetings every day >literally stutter, sweat, and panic throughout each meeting >refuse to accept being a failure >"I am stronger than this. I am stronger than this. I am stronger than this." >keep delivering good enough results but very clearly pity inducing along the way >3 hours ago in a meeting >struggling speaking as usual but maybe worse? >manager turns to me "are you okay anon?" >oh y...yeah yes just just just thinking of the financial models sorry I'm sorry >go back to meeting topic like I'm not dying inside /b/ give me some advice please this is tiring and embarrassing everyday. This job can lead to amazing opportunities so I am not going to quit. But how do I become better socially?

Pin

Anon is optimistic about the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Based Manletchad Aaron Tayer Jig Sh 10 % (179.1 cm) K >be me >179cm >manlet >shortest man in my family >feeling pretty down about myself lately >see thirst trap edit on TikTok with the guy from bullettrain >realize no one will never make an edit like that about me because I'm not a tallfag like him >decide to Google it >He's actually my height This was the lifefuel I needed today. We're all gonna make it. A FOREX 1.08 MB JPG 10/19/22(Wed)17:46:31 No.68693690 >>68694350 # : Anonymous >>68693690 (OP) # You're not even a manlet you gay talk to me when you're 5'6 average-height-tards are the most whiny insecure people around baka : Anonymous 10/19/22(Wed)17:50:07 No.68693713 10/19/22(Wed)19:09:16 No.68694350 >>68693713 # Fr they complain more than actial dwarves

Pin

anon discovers soy milk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what the f---? ORIGINAL ORIGINAL SOY 86 PROTEN Silk THE ORIGINAL NUTRITION MEWERHOUSE OPER OVE HARVES IN BARES 83 KB JPG : Anonymous >>887653330 # 10/20/22(Thu)10:18:50 No.887652942 : Anonymous i just found out from my mom that soy milk is an actual thing.. w-- bros I thought it was just a meme people actually drink this s--- that's actually made of soy?? milkbros... >>887652942 (OP) # It's not even bad for you, in fact its better than regular milk > inb4 chudcels seething 10/20/22(Thu)10:25:16 No.887653170 10/20/22(Thu)10:30:11 No.887653330 >>887653170 # okay so we're outside of the store and we bought one and I tried it... it's f------ disgusting bros, everything they said about soy is true

Pin

Anon is old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB JPG 10/20/22(Thu)22:15:43 No.887660095 >on random server >"Hey Anon, how old are you?" >"I'm uh... 23" >Everyone laughs >"Christ grandpa, isn't it bedtime for you?" >"Who let the old man in?" >"Dude, yo do know we're all like 13 to 16 here, right" >"G-Guys I was joking, I'm 16" >"HAHAHA, that's what I thought" >"Wew, I was actually about to kick you from the server anon" After this and a couple of other experiences, I think I might give up on online gaming altogether. Seems like everything is now filled with f------ zoomers. I'm scared, honestly. I don't know, maybe I'm legit outgrowing this s---.

Pin

Anon feels loved | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48471330 37,5 kB JPG 1 tsitten ●●● >be me >lonely >have cat >find out cats like back scratches >give cat back scratches >cat loves it >cat now follows me around and I give the good scratch >I love cat >cat loves me >I feel loved >not lonely >yes

Pin

Anon became his own grandpa. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >I am married to my grandma >I am my own grandpa.

Pin

Anon is such a comfortable liar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 205 KB JPG 10/20/22(Thu)00:43:35 No.27533693 Why am I such a comfortable liar? I can't stop telling white lies and I do it so easily, I've done it since I was a kid >in elementary school there was this kid I was friends with >he wasn't really close with anyone else but he was friends with me >he moves away and no one hears from him ever again >I make up this lie that his dad got thrown in jail for drug trafficking and the kid is terminally ill and dying of cancer >Everyone in my class believes it and it becomes a big thing >a few girls made "get well soon" cards for him and I promised to give the cards to him I told that lie out of sheer boredom and it ignited something me. Throughout my life I continue to make up weird lies to everyone, my family, my friends, girlfriends, employers. I lie all the time and I enjoy the feeling I get from treating people like suckers. Why?

Pin

Lib Dem sleeper agent finishes her mission | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: KnACzPU8) 10/20/22(Thu) 18:10:27 No.400684728 >>400687044 >>400696999 File: 1645435671191.png (370 KB, 654x492) >be a pro-republic, LibDem remainer >infiltrate the Tories over many years >kill the Queen >destroy the economy >kamikaze the party, maybe for decades >leave in just 44 days, your job done You all got outplayed

Pin

Anon gets the covid vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 194 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/18/21 (Wed)14:46:31 No.65035575 >parents made me get the covid vaccine 5 Replies / 1 Image 68 KB JPG How can I safely remove it from my body without them noticing? It's only been about 15 minutes since I got it so I think I still have some time. View Thread 08/18/21 (Wed)14:49:26 No.65035611 >>65035575 (OP) # you have to be 18 to post here also you're literally going to die now good luck. nothing can save you from this.

Pin

Anon learns to stutter | /r/Greentext

1517791963815.png (322 KB, 591x716) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 10/19/22(Wed)20:38:40 No.70654804 ✓ >Practiced talking with a stutter because my crush in high school said she thought boys who stuttered when they talk about something they are passionate about are cute >Got pretty good at it, could pretend stutter in the middle of rant so that it sounded authentic >Eventually got so good at it that I didn't even have to think about it, and then so good at it that I can't prevent it even when I don't want to stutter >mfw I now I have a stutter that I can't control

Pin

Anon enjoys the weather changing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 398 KB JPG rather than calf socks God I love Fall 10/20/22(Thu)09:42:29 No.887645313 >getting later in the year, it's autumn >air is turning cool and crisp >leaves are changing into beautiful red, yellow, and orange >drinking hot chocolate, bundling up in warm coats >time to start jerking off into ankle socks

Pin

Anon finds himself a goldigger | /r/Greentext

>> File: 11.png (618 KB, 874x1000) Anonymous 10/18/22(Tue)17:09:24 No.27522454 [Reply] ► >>27522459 >>27522463 >>27522466 >>27522511 >>27522537 >>27522842 >>27522897 >>27523054 >>27523098 >>27523117 >>27523158 >>27524338 >>27524403 >>27525702 >>27527698 >>27528371 >>27528506 >>27528693 >>27528847 >>27528872 >>27528884>>27531744 >>27531815 >>27532521 >>27532558 Found my wife's old diary and she admitted getting married to me only because of my money and the fact that she finds me ugly, i'm not even rich just slightly above average when it comes to wealth, but her family was super poor when she was younger so it makes sense, it was me the one who paid for her last 2 years of university. Been married 3 years and we never had big fights or anything that would make me suspect this was a fake marriage. We have sex regulary and we go out on dates very often. I mean she could have dumped me when she graduated but she didn't, is the trying for children so she can have child support? She still use the pills because she said she wanted to wait another year before children. In any case, should i confront her about it? My best friend told me to keep it quiet at first and slowly transfer my assets to my parents or my sibling's and then face her later on and when we divorce, she won't be able to take anything from me. Showing all replies. ☐ Anonymous 10/18/22(Tue)17:11:55 No.27522459 ► >>27522477 >>27522454 (OP). the girl would probably stay with you by now its your choice what you make out of this. if you confronted her she would probably try to save it and give excuses etc. girls bond thru sex if you f----- her for years you can be sure shell probably not want to end the relationship now Anonymous 10/18/22(Tue)17:14:46 No.27522463 >>27522454 (OP) your best friend gave you good advice confront her once you set things in order Anonymous 10/18/22(Tue)17:16:00 No.27522466 ► >>27522454 (OP) your best friend is right imo, you need to be careful because you know now that you can't tell when she's being honest with you about the relationship you should thank him for keeping a good eye out for you

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes