Anon give advice | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 313 KB PNG 10/08/22(Sat)19:57:27 No.68582036 How do I make friends at the gym? How do I strike up conversation like all of the normies do? Anonymous >>68582036 (OP) >nice c---, bro works every time 10/09/22(Sun)00:21:32 No.68583843

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon had sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/22(Sat)23:09:41 No.70509612 875 KB PNG I actually lost my virginity at 15 but I haven't been laid since then >Got a fake ID and alias >Went to a rough neighbourhood in Belfast, Ireland >Found out where the Chavs were having parties >Snuck into one of the parties and waited until the girls got incredibly drunk >Pretended to drink my "alcohol" which was a bottle of whiskey containing apple juice >Everyone thinks I'm drunk so I flirt with girls >The fat emo girl who keeps smiling at me goes to her room with friend >Go up to their room and offer them "weed" which is 90% tobacco and oregano >Then offer then "ecstasy" which is actually asian sugar pills >They get a placebo high and ask for more drugs >Give them "DMT" which is actually just organic sleeping pills mixed with blue raspberry rock >They get drowsy from drinks >When they pass out, I block the door with bed >Take off emo girl's trousers >Get lightheaded from excitement as I lube her p---- and put on condom >F--- her for 15 minutes before cooming >Wipe my sperm on other girl's face as she starts to wakeup all groggy >Throw blanket over them and climb out window Technically they weren't high so it wasn't r*pe. I was also only 15 and they were much older.

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All the articles I've read on depression mentions that porn can have a bad effect on it. I don't know where anon gets his sources. | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG m----------- is mental suicide all the online articles that say thelp with depression are grade A b------- i thought i'd weaken my depression if i start jerking off and it just did the opposite: >feel horny >go to j------- to pronz >coom >end up feeling empty and weak >all p--- tabs tabs that were on are now disgusting and turn off whats the point? everyone always say that its great and feel good but that 1 second of pleasure is not worth all this crap 07/10/20(Fri) 23:34:57 No.59030307 : Anonymous >>59030287 (OP) # i have never in my life seen something that said jackin it to p---, would help with depression. maybe do it without p---. use your brain, stoopit

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Anon is insensitive | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 70517194 Acum 1 oră soldierpeepee PNG 403x358 79,4 kB > be me > has a brother in the military > I come to visit the base and notice that all flags are at half mast > me: "Did someone die or something?" > him: "Yea, some private accidentally shot himself earlier today during training. > me: "How does one <<accidentally>> shoot themselves?" > him: "One of his bullets ricocheted off a rock back into him, so he died" > Autism kicks in > me: "What, from just one bullet? What a weakling." > mfw I realized what I just said.

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Anon feeds the birds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous KAYTEE Wild Finch KAYTEE Wild Finch 56 KB JPG 10/09/22(Sun)04:06:37 No.70513600 >mom buys picrel to feed the wild finches >tells me to keep the feeder full >it smells good >eat some >tasty but hard to eat >soak 1 cup seed in 1 cup water for 1 hour >it's more edible now >eat some every day >s--- turns to bricks of undigested seeds >tastes good going in >feels good coming out >win/win >mom comments how much seed the birds are eating >must be the darn squirrels >a------ starts to bleed when i poo >decide to give up the seed for good

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It's over for anons friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4woQhWgp) [ IT'S OVER >be friend with 4'11 dude >he is deppresed all the times and doesnt have many friends >tryed to make him have some interesting hobbies >he gives up after a week >try to get him a gf >all the women reject him even the one who are turned on by short dudes because they feel like they could crush him >tried paying a prostitute to get him laid >"i'd feel like i'd be molesting a minor >tried to take him to the gym >random men and women lifted him for no reason >tried to get him into sport shooting like me >he cant shoot a 9*21 parabellum twice before having to go back to the position and a .223 rem almost pushed him on the ground >tried to bring him to judo so he can defend himself from people bullying him for his height(brought him to a 5'7 at best dude that scared 6'3+ brutes who knew how to fight and have seen him fight multiple guys alone) >he gets put in a lot of painful position and leaves after a 3 weeks 26 KB PNG 10/09/22(Sun)11:26:21 No.16273888 is it over for my friend? is there anything i can do for him? : Anonymous (ID: MDCP+VF1) >>16273897 # 10/09/22(Sun)11:27:50 No.16273891 tell him to crossdress

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Anon turns the tables | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ) 10/09/22(Sun)03:08:45 No.68578434 O 112.png 83 KB PNG >10 year high school reunion tomorrow, on Sunday >I've been working out and body building every day for the past 8 years >high school bully that tormented me for 4 years has gotten skinny fat from not exercising and doing an office job >now I tower 4 inches over him and have about 100lbs of muscle mass over him >he's been posting on facebook about how him, his wife and kids are excited about meeting all of their friends again >coming from another state to attend tomorrow The tables have turned. Now I am the bully.

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Anon made a confession | /r/Greentext

/k/onfession Sunday Anonymous 10/09/22(Sun)11:11:12 No.55553542 >>55553583 >>55553619 >>55553628 >>55553661 >>55553713 >>55553767 >>55553779 Assalamualaikum Anon. Its Sunday. In the name of Allah the most merciful and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). PLEASE CONFESS YOUR SINS. Anonymous 10/09/22(Sun)11:13:32 No.55553569 ► >>55553599 I fingered my sister in her sleep

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an entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re-2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this

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someone please explain | /r/Greentext

162 KB JPG >be me >See a resurgence of that one Greentext story where the boy shows his aunt his penis and says "it suddenly got big, help me" >See multiple versions of this story and loads of references >You're probably wondering why you're seeing it everywhere too Well here's why >It suddenly got big

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Anon has a reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/22(Sat)21:42:24 No.886995499 a-ghost-story-ags_field4-copy_rgb_wide- 347a73dab943e9ca6a7ed3ef8f8ecbb61a6f0845-s1100- c50.jpg 42 KB JPG >I made a reddit account a year ago >for fun I write really right winged opinions in comments and wait for people to downvote and reply >when I get the replies I want I switch the comment to something that blends in with reddit narrative >I then watch others downvote the replies and tell the commenters how horrible they are It's not my world kid, I'm just living in it.

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on a date... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 945 KB PNG 03/13/22(Sun)12:02:25 No.67766134 >girl asks for my snap >we talk for a week, it's very nice >I set up a date, she agrees and acts interested >fast forward to today >show up, wait for forty minutes >she's not there >check phone, she blocked me on everything business as usual it seems

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Found this on Twitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB PNG 10/21/20(Wed) 23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?

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