Anon had sex | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/08/22(Sat)23:09:41 No.70509612 875 KB PNG I actually lost my virginity at 15 but I haven't been laid since then >Got a fake ID and alias >Went to a rough neighbourhood in Belfast, Ireland >Found out where the Chavs were having parties >Snuck into one of the parties and waited until the girls got incredibly drunk >Pretended to drink my "alcohol" which was a bottle of whiskey containing apple juice >Everyone thinks I'm drunk so I flirt with girls >The fat emo girl who keeps smiling at me goes to her room with friend >Go up to their room and offer them "weed" which is 90% tobacco and oregano >Then offer then "ecstasy" which is actually asian sugar pills >They get a placebo high and ask for more drugs >Give them "DMT" which is actually just organic sleeping pills mixed with blue raspberry rock >They get drowsy from drinks >When they pass out, I block the door with bed >Take off emo girl's trousers >Get lightheaded from excitement as I lube her p---- and put on condom >F--- her for 15 minutes before cooming >Wipe my sperm on other girl's face as she starts to wakeup all groggy >Throw blanket over them and climb out window Technically they weren't high so it wasn't r*pe. I was also only 15 and they were much older.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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All the articles I've read on depression mentions that porn can have a bad effect on it. I don't know where anon gets his sources. | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG m----------- is mental suicide all the online articles that say thelp with depression are grade A b------- i thought i'd weaken my depression if i start jerking off and it just did the opposite: >feel horny >go to j------- to pronz >coom >end up feeling empty and weak >all p--- tabs tabs that were on are now disgusting and turn off whats the point? everyone always say that its great and feel good but that 1 second of pleasure is not worth all this crap 07/10/20(Fri) 23:34:57 No.59030307 : Anonymous >>59030287 (OP) # i have never in my life seen something that said jackin it to p---, would help with depression. maybe do it without p---. use your brain, stoopit

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Anon is insensitive | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 70517194 Acum 1 oră soldierpeepee PNG 403x358 79,4 kB > be me > has a brother in the military > I come to visit the base and notice that all flags are at half mast > me: "Did someone die or something?" > him: "Yea, some private accidentally shot himself earlier today during training. > me: "How does one <<accidentally>> shoot themselves?" > him: "One of his bullets ricocheted off a rock back into him, so he died" > Autism kicks in > me: "What, from just one bullet? What a weakling." > mfw I realized what I just said.

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Anon feeds the birds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous KAYTEE Wild Finch KAYTEE Wild Finch 56 KB JPG 10/09/22(Sun)04:06:37 No.70513600 >mom buys picrel to feed the wild finches >tells me to keep the feeder full >it smells good >eat some >tasty but hard to eat >soak 1 cup seed in 1 cup water for 1 hour >it's more edible now >eat some every day >s--- turns to bricks of undigested seeds >tastes good going in >feels good coming out >win/win >mom comments how much seed the birds are eating >must be the darn squirrels >a------ starts to bleed when i poo >decide to give up the seed for good

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It's over for anons friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4woQhWgp) [ IT'S OVER >be friend with 4'11 dude >he is deppresed all the times and doesnt have many friends >tryed to make him have some interesting hobbies >he gives up after a week >try to get him a gf >all the women reject him even the one who are turned on by short dudes because they feel like they could crush him >tried paying a prostitute to get him laid >"i'd feel like i'd be molesting a minor >tried to take him to the gym >random men and women lifted him for no reason >tried to get him into sport shooting like me >he cant shoot a 9*21 parabellum twice before having to go back to the position and a .223 rem almost pushed him on the ground >tried to bring him to judo so he can defend himself from people bullying him for his height(brought him to a 5'7 at best dude that scared 6'3+ brutes who knew how to fight and have seen him fight multiple guys alone) >he gets put in a lot of painful position and leaves after a 3 weeks 26 KB PNG 10/09/22(Sun)11:26:21 No.16273888 is it over for my friend? is there anything i can do for him? : Anonymous (ID: MDCP+VF1) >>16273897 # 10/09/22(Sun)11:27:50 No.16273891 tell him to crossdress

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Anon turns the tables | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ) 10/09/22(Sun)03:08:45 No.68578434 O 112.png 83 KB PNG >10 year high school reunion tomorrow, on Sunday >I've been working out and body building every day for the past 8 years >high school bully that tormented me for 4 years has gotten skinny fat from not exercising and doing an office job >now I tower 4 inches over him and have about 100lbs of muscle mass over him >he's been posting on facebook about how him, his wife and kids are excited about meeting all of their friends again >coming from another state to attend tomorrow The tables have turned. Now I am the bully.

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Anon made a confession | /r/Greentext

/k/onfession Sunday Anonymous 10/09/22(Sun)11:11:12 No.55553542 >>55553583 >>55553619 >>55553628 >>55553661 >>55553713 >>55553767 >>55553779 Assalamualaikum Anon. Its Sunday. In the name of Allah the most merciful and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). PLEASE CONFESS YOUR SINS. Anonymous 10/09/22(Sun)11:13:32 No.55553569 ► >>55553599 I fingered my sister in her sleep

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an entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re-2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this

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someone please explain | /r/Greentext

162 KB JPG >be me >See a resurgence of that one Greentext story where the boy shows his aunt his penis and says "it suddenly got big, help me" >See multiple versions of this story and loads of references >You're probably wondering why you're seeing it everywhere too Well here's why >It suddenly got big

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Anon has a reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/22(Sat)21:42:24 No.886995499 a-ghost-story-ags_field4-copy_rgb_wide- 347a73dab943e9ca6a7ed3ef8f8ecbb61a6f0845-s1100- c50.jpg 42 KB JPG >I made a reddit account a year ago >for fun I write really right winged opinions in comments and wait for people to downvote and reply >when I get the replies I want I switch the comment to something that blends in with reddit narrative >I then watch others downvote the replies and tell the commenters how horrible they are It's not my world kid, I'm just living in it.

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on a date... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 945 KB PNG 03/13/22(Sun)12:02:25 No.67766134 >girl asks for my snap >we talk for a week, it's very nice >I set up a date, she agrees and acts interested >fast forward to today >show up, wait for forty minutes >she's not there >check phone, she blocked me on everything business as usual it seems

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Found this on Twitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB PNG 10/21/20(Wed) 23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?

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Anon gets special treatment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/08/22(Sat)22:44:49 No.70510125 I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHY YOU KEEP BEING MEAN TO ME BUT YOU NEED TO BE NICE TO ME RIGHT NOW! 484DC93B-6408-4C28-A898-96533F1A786A.jpg 642 KB JPG >back in school i was a shy socially awkward kid >there was this one girl who always stood up for me >whenever someone was messing with me she'd whisper something to the bully and they'd leave me alone >this gets to the point where bullies are telling other bullies that i'm off limits and that they shouldn't mess with me >eventually everyone in my year starts being extra nice to me and treats me like a f------ make-a-wish kid I didn't think much of it at the time but looking back on it as an adult, they definitely thought I was a retarded special needs kid didn't they...? like, I can't think of any other reason, it's not like I had a family member in the mafia or anything. i'm literally the most boring guy that ever lived

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